There were many things Sai didn't understand about humans.
He was sat, slightly slouched, at the Slytherin table (the position having been observed minutely just a moment before, from a few higher years further up the table), eating toast spread with a) butter and b) marmalade (this was being eaten in duplicate by a girl a couple of seats to the right: he had watched her spreading it; she was now onto her second slice), and drinking the juice of he did not know what; only that it was not poisonous, and that it was orange.
So... why were they staring at him?
He was being quiet... but then it was breakfast time and most people were being quiet. He was wearing his robes; they were not too tight, not too loose, and baggy enough to hide weapons under. He had brushed his hair. He had washed his face. He had had a shower, in fact, so it couldn't be his smell.
Maybe it was because it was seven twenty-one.
He didn't normally eat at seven twenty-one.
Maybe that was it.
He'd been training in his room for twenty-six minutes, this morning. It wasn't nearly enough for a day, but it lightened his schedule.
Already, he'd got Herbology, Potions, Patrol, Divination, Defence Against the Dark Arts, a meeting with the Client about tactical progress, History of Magic, Patrol, 2 hours of training and sleep... and 2 hours wasn't exactly exemplary... but, with twenty-six minutes on top of that, it wasn't exactly shoddy, either, and, this way, he wouldn't be disappointing Danzo-sama.
No matter what the Hokage said about 'fitting in', he was not about to put on twelve pounds of fat by neglecting training. And he wasn't about to irritate Danzo-sama.
He took another bite of the (deceptively bitter) marmalade toast, and choked it down with a gulp of orange-yellow juice. He did not recognise any of the food on the table.
A 16-year-old, dark-haired, green-eyed boy weighing 12 to 14 stone and eating porridge, was staring at him out of the corner of his eye. Sai glanced at him. His eyes slid back to his porridge. The moment Sai looked away again, the boy's eyes were back.
"Good morning," said Sai, turning slightly on the bench. He felt his mouth lift in an unconvincing smile. He still hadn't quite got the gesture down, but he was working on it.
The boy on the bench had his eyes firmly fixed on the half-empty bowl of porridge.
Sai waited.
After about a minute of noiseless smiling and unresponsive silence from the boy, the boy muttered, "Good morning."
Sai, with great muscular effort, held the smile in place.
"My name is Simon Jones. What is your name?"
The boy looked at the porridge nervously, and said, "I don't see how that's any of your business."
Sai allowed the smile to slip off his face. If he was remembering Chapter 3 well enough, this boy was being insulting.
"My name is Simon Jones," he repeated. "I am in Slytherin House. Feel free to call me Si. I am curious as to what your name is."
The boy, eyes burning holes into his breakfast, did not move.
Step 1) Greet - he'd done that.
Step 2) Introduce yourself - he'd done that too.
Step 3) Introduce a common interest or topic to converse about - their house had failed, so it was onto...
Step 4) Try telling a jokes to lighten the mood
Sai smiled again.
"Have you heard the joke about the broken pencil?" he asked, politely.
The boy turned, just enough to give him a glare that would've sent anyone unprepared over backwards. Sai ignored this.
"What?" asked the boy, with enough venom in his voice to tranquillise an elephant.
"There was no reason for it," said Sai.
"What?" repeated the boy.
"There was no reason for it," said Sai.
"I don't know what you mean," the boy forced out, angrily.
Sai's smile faltered slightly.
"It wasn't much use?" he tried. The book hadn't given any insight into why it was such a bad joke, but apparently to English speakers it was funny.
The boy gritted his teeth and lifted a spoonful of porridge to his mouth, which he chewed mechanically and swallowed.
Sai looked uncertain.
"Shove off, pansy," said the boy, between mouthfuls. "I don't give a damn."
Sai blinked. He'd said something wrong. He'd followed the book note for note, and yet he'd said something wrong. He was entirely sure he'd covered and revised the whole of Chapter 3. 'Fit in,' had said the Hokage.
He was failing the mission.
"Why did the chicken cross the-"
"I have no bloody clue why the chicken crossed the road, alright, weirdo?! So just shut the hell up and go back to-"
"Oh, shut up, Cornish," snapped one of the girls on the opposite side of the table. "Leave the new kid in peace."
Sai turned to her, hopefully. She stared at him through a mouthful of marmalade toast.
"Oh don't you start," she growled, before he could get a word in. "I have enough on my plate as it is." And she turned back to her toast, leaving Sai to the rest of his own.
He picked it up and took a bite. It was cold.
He ate the rest of it anyway, in one swallow, and then slid off back out of the Great Hall, feeling slightly less welcome than he had before.
They obviously needed their own copies of Danzo-sama's book. They didn't seem to know it very well.
A/N:
*Stone is an imperial measure used in England (where I, and coincidentally, Harry Potter, are from). 12 to 14 stone is 76 to 88 kilograms according to the internet.
Also... the joke is meant to be, 'Did you hear the joke about the broken pencil? It was pointless'
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