The trip back to the house had been an uneventful one, Louis surprisingly staying quiet again. That is until the cabin had come into view. "I've got it! Violentine!"
Violet gave him a weird look. "Do I even want to know?" Last thing she wanted to do was fuel another one of Louis's creative ideas.
Louis gave her an ear to ear smile. "It's yours and Clem's shipping name."
Violet let out a frustrated groan. "Louis so help me I will feed you to the walkers."
Louis gave her another smile as he shifted chairels to his other shoulder. "Come on Vi your going to need all the help you can get. I will get you two together if it's the last thing I do."
Violet rolled her eyes for what felt like the hundredth time that day. Clem probably didn't even like her that way. "Not a word, to anyone!" She threatened him as they approached the porch of the cabin. She walked through the door leaving Louis alone.
Louis smirked, "Will see." He said to himself.
Luke was great full for the two of them volunteering to go get the water, it made preparing dinner a lot easier. Afterwards they all settled on playing another card game before bed. This one with less eccentric questioning.
But before they departed into different bedrooms, Violet stopped Clem outside her door. "Hey, you gonna be okay?" She asked generally concerned for the girl after what happened last night.
"Yeah, I-I'll be fine." Clem said, although she wondered how much truth her words actually held. It was common for her to get little to no sleep after a big upsetting.
Violet didn't normally open her doors to just anyone, she wasn't the kind of person to get dragged into such emotional events. But she felt it was different with Clementine, and actually felt a need to help. "Well anyway, if-if you ever need to, talk or whatever, you can always come and get me. I-I don't mind." Violet felt her face flush at the words, luckily it was just dark enough to cover it.
Clem gave her a slight smile at her words. "Thanks. I'll keep that in mind. Night, Vi."
"Night, Clem." Violet said before she closed the door. Then walked across the hall to her and Louis's new room.
Clem thought she was getting better with coming to terms with her past, but some things still left her feeling a little uneasy and shaken. Last night had been rough to say the least. It had been so long since she had a panic attack, and even longer since she had last opened up to someone. Talking with Violet had released some anxiety from within her, but it hurt to remember those things. Every time she had to reexplain how she managed to survive this long, it brought a dull pain that would surround her heart, like a wound that had reopened. It never got any easier, but someone always had to know how the girl in the baseball cap had made it this far, knowing she couldn't have done it alone. And every time it was like reliving each traumatic experience as the words slipped from her mouth, unable to escape there hold on her. Once again leaving her in a world of darkness.
Clem found herself thinking about it as she lay in bed. And thinking was never a great idea when it came to terms with her past. So many countless lives lost because of her. She tried to tell herself that it wasn't her fault, that everyone who she had lost had died knowing the risks, and had died for a reason...but it didn't stop it from hurting.
She guessed she had fallen asleep, because next thing she knew she shot up from where she lay. She couldn't help it as tears started to roll down her face, branching off and dropping down onto her shirt. An all to familiar source, being the cause of the salty droplets that stained her face. Lee.
She had to yet again, relive the worst day of her life, replaying in her mind as she slept, unable to get away from the dark reaches of her subconscious. She was right about thinking, not being a great idea. It only made things worse. And she proved she was right, as quiet sobs escaped from her form. Her hands shook as she gripped the sheets. She drew in a shaky breath, trying to calm herself down. She hadn't realized how fast her heart had been beating in her chest.
She wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her jacket to try and diminish the tears that fell. After a few more deep breathes, she had calmed down some, but she still felt very uneasy staying where she was. She didn't want to stay in this room after such an unpleasant dream.
Clem threw off the sheets and swung her feet over the edge of the bed. She went to move towards the door, but her body shook with each step, making it feel more like she was walking on ice. Clem was careful enough to not wake AJ up as she closed the door behind her. She leaned her back up against the door and closed her eyes for a moment, taking a minute to settle down. She didn't want to stay in the bedroom, she didn't want to go back to sleep period, but she also didn't want to be alone.
She opened her eyes and they came to rest on the doorway across from her. "You can always come and get me." echoed inside her mind. She desperately wanted Violet to comfort her again. She wanted her to stay up with her again, to hold onto her hand again, to just have her presence there again. She bit her lip in hesitation. She couldn't do it, no matter how badly she wanted to. She was too afraid. She had already told Violet she would be fine, she couldn't go back on it now. But she really didn't want to be alone right now.
She could go get Luke. But it wasn't his comfort that she wanted, she wanted Violet's, and only hers. She couldn't explain it, but it had felt different with Violet, and she wanted that feeling again.
Her mind fought with her and it turned into pacing. She walked back and forth, up and down the hallway in debate. She didn't know how long she had been doing it, but knew it had been a while. Soon enough her thoughts drifted back to those negative ones. She wished Lee was here to comfort her, to tell her everything was going to be okay. She stopped at the door again, leaning against it once more trying to calm herself back down again.
The door across from her opened while her eyes were closed. She opened them to find the girl she had been longing for standing in front of her, arms crossed over her chest. "You okay?"
Clem didn't respond. Instead she felt tears start to build up behind her eyes, hands starting to shake again. She tried to fight it, but she couldn't help the tear that slid down her face. She pushed off the door and threw herself at Violet, who this time welcomed the hug.
Clem squeezed her eyes shut, just feeling the presence and warmth of the girl. Violet could feel Clem's whole body shake as the girl held on to her. "Hey, it's alright. It's over now."
Clem pulled back after a moment. She gave a deep breath, slash sigh, as she wiped the tears from her eyes once more. She already felt better just knowing Violet was with her. "Here..." She heard the girl say. She walked over with Violet and saw her slide down the wall into a sitting position on the floor. Clem joining her a second later. "Nightmare?" Was all Violet said.
Clem nodded. "I-I'm s-sorry if I woke you." She said, her voice slightly trembling.
Violet waved her off. "Nah, I was already up. After listening to you pacing for the last ten minutes." Clem blushed at that.
Violet gave a laugh and playfully shoved Clementine. "I told you to wake me up if something happened."
Clem rubbed the back of her neck in embarrassment. "I-I didn't want to bother you. N-not after everything that happened." She looked away from Violet feeling guilty.
Violet's expression turned serious once again. "Clem...It's okay. I don't blame you for what happened. It's okay if you need help." She paused for a moment, thinking about what to say next. "You...wanna talk about it?"
Clem turned back to her. "It-it was about L-Lee...I..." She got choked up about it, knowing if she said another word she would burst into tears again.
"It's okay. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." Violet reassured.
Clem smiled. "Thank you."
A minute went by in silence before Violet asked, "You couldn't get back to sleep?"
Clem shook her head. "I don't want to sleep."
Violet thought about it for a minute, debating on something, before standing up. "Come on!"
She grabbed Clem's hand and pulled her up and began to drag her down the stairs. "Where are we going?" Clem asked.
"I want to show you something." Was Violet's explanation. She brought Clem downstairs and to the door. She opened it and the two of them walked outside. "Up here."
Violet pointed to the wood railing at the end of the porch. She climbed up onto the wooden frame and stood up, using the house for support. She gripped the roof of the cabin.
"Doesn't this seem a little dangerous?" Clem asked hearing the old boards creek under the weight.
Violet laughed. "What's more dangerous than walkers?" She said as she jumped and used her arms to pull herself up onto the roof.
"Okay, fair." Clem said following suit. She hopped up onto the railing and grabbed the edge of the roof, pulling herself up much like Violet had done.
She stood up and made her way across the slanted roof and to the other side where Violet stood. She looked out at what Violet was looking at and was taken away by the view. The sky was as clear as could be. The stars bright against the dark blue background that was the sky, like fireflies in the night. The full moon lit up the surrounding area like a lantern. "Beautiful." Was all Clem said as she took in the scenery before her. The fears and terrors of her nightmare diminished in an instant.
Violet smiled, but it soon turned into a slight frown as a thought washed over her. "Clem?"
"Yeah?" The brunette answered, pulling away from the sky to look at Violet.
"Back in the woods...You and Luke could of just left us and avoided all the bullshit with the walkers. Why didn't you?"
The question through Clem off guard but she replied anyway. "I wasn't about to let you guys get eaten. That's not the kind of person I am...and besides...I wouldn't of gotten to meet you."
Violet's expression turned into a smile. "I'm glad."
Clem looked to the sky again. "Do you know any constellations?"
"Nope. You?"
"I learned some in school, but I can't remember them." Clem told the blond.
"Let's make some up." Was Violet's response. "Come here and sit." She sat down just passed the peak of the roof and wrapped her arms around her knees.
Clem followed her and sat next to her feeling the rough shingles against her palms as she leaned back onto her hands. "If I remember right, everyone's born under a sign right? It determines your personality." Came Violet's voice.
"That's astrology, not astronomy." Clem corrected.
Violet furrowed her brow. "Whatever, let's just make up our own. Rules, signs, what it says about you. It's not like anybody remembers the old way."
"Luke probably does." Clem joked with her smirking.
"Well Luke's not here." Violet gave her a light shove causing Clem to laugh. "Okay, let's do it. There! See it? It's a fish." Violet pointed at a small cluster of dots in the sky.
Clem traced the image in her mind. "Right, now it needs a personality."
"Bright, pretty, good with other people. Always moving, tons of energy." Violet described. "Sounds like anyone we know?"
Clem glanced back up to the stars then back at Violet. She smiled. "It sounds like you."
Violet shook her head and chuckled. "Weren't you listening? I said 'good with other people.'"
"Well...maybe not that part, but...you'r pretty good with me." Clem stated. She couldn't express how great full she was for Violet being there for her. Not only yesterday, but tonight as well.
Violet blushed at the praise. "I-uh thanks. I'll try to take the rest as a complement."
She squinted back up at the sky. "I spy with my eye...a knife. See it? Right there, right above your head?" She pointed.
Clem gave her a playful shove. "Yeah, there all above my head." But nether the less she made out the shape with imaginary lines, forming the slightly crooked dagger.
"Awesome. Mm, this one's easy. Smart, clean, vicious, dependable. Someone you want with you in a fight." Described Violet.
Clem didn't even hesitate. "That's mine, definitely."
Violet let lose a small smile. "Yeah, that's a good one for you." She caught herself zoning out, thinking about it. Violet blushed. She shook her head to bring herself back. "Okay, one more time. I found a bird."
Clem looked over. "Like, a real bird?"
"No, a star bird. Right, there." Violet pointed at a cluster of stars towards the right.
Clem made out the make shift lines again to find the image Violet had created. She thought it kind of looked like a dove, flying through the night sky among the stars. Breath taking, among the darkness that surrounded the bright specks that it was made of. She thought about it for a minute, a dove, the bird of love, a light in the darkness, maybe even a sign. She decided it was her favorite out of the three.
"A bird is free." Violet started. "It could go anywhere it wanted to. Up and up and up and never come back. Go south, east, west, doesn't matter." Clem turned to look at Violet, who appeared to get lost in her desire of flight. "You could fly straight into the sunset. And see where it ends."
Clem took a moment to think about it. To be able to fly away from all of this, to not have a care in the world, to leave behind all her worries as she lived freely. To not have to live with her past mistakes. She wished it was her, but saw a hint of longing in Violet's eyes. "You wish it was you, don't you?"
"Sometimes, when it all feels so heavy down here." She shifted her gaze to the stars. "I can't help but wonder what it would feel like to be weightless." When Clem didn't respond Violet spoke up again. "I bet you feel the same way."
Clem was surprised Violet had said that, but she wasn't wrong. She sighed as she looked down at her lap. "Yeah...everyday of my life."
Violet realized she had hit a nerve. She was right about Clem wanting to escape the horrors of her nightmares, but needed to fix her previous statement anyway. "Sorry, I didn't mean to just...talk so much."
Violet glanced over at Clem then shifted so she was facing more towards Clementine, her arm now draped across one knee.. "It's just, I've watched people leave before. Family, friends. They never come back. Even me and Louis left." She sighed. "I hadn't even thought about where we were headed or what we would do next...then the walkers came and...I honestly thought we were done for..."
Clem was listening intently to everything that Violet was saying, but at the same time her mind was racing. Why was she telling her all of this? Then the next words really put things in perspective.
"but then, you showed up." Violet turned her gaze towards Clementine. "And, now I can't imagine what it would be like if I hadn't met you."
Clem felt her heart race, as she stared into Violet's eyes. She felt those butterflies again, only this time it felt like the beat of a hummingbird's wings trying to escape. She wasn't sure how to respond, but knew what she wanted to say, so words flowed out of her mouth anyway. "I-I feel the same, Vi. You've helped me in more ways than I can explain." She paused and took a deep breath as she got ready for what she was going to say next. She had Violet's full attention. "I-I know we've only known each other for a short time, but I feel like we connect differently, and I..."
Clem could swear her heart beat was getting louder, she was a total wreck inside. Her mind raced with thoughts. Half of her begged her to stop while she was ahead, while the other half screamed to keep going. It was now or never. She let out a breath. "...I think...I mean, I hope...We're more than friends."
Clem glanced at Violet, who was wide eyed and attentive to everything she was letting out. "And I...I..."
She sat in thought. Silence overtaking, as neither girl said a word for what felt like forever, but was only a minute. The only noise was the light wind that blew in the background, the only thing that made it feel like they weren't completely frozen in place. Time seemed to slow as Clem debated on her next move. What did she want? She looked to the side, then back up at Violet. She didn't need to think about it, she already knew. Clem leaned over closing the distance between them and placed her lips against Violet's in a kiss.
Clem pulled away and shock overtook her. She sat wide eyed and unbelieving, mouth slightly agape. She couldn't believe she had just done that, she had just kissed Violet! The girl she had been crushing on since she got here. What did she just do?
Violet looked even more surprised, shock also present on her face. She let out a gasp. "Holy shit." She whispered.
Clem let out a laugh from a nervous reaction. "That's romantic." She said in a teasing manner, not really sure if she should be thrilled or not from Violet's reaction.
Violet's surprised expression turned into a small smile. "I mean...Holy shit." Violet couldn't think of anything else to say. No words came to mind. The kiss had been a surprise, but a good surprise. She couldn't believe Clem had just kissed her, granted, she was thankful for it.
She slowly lifted her hand. She was hesitant at first, but settled on placing her hand onto Clem's, in a sign of affection.
The touch caused Clem to smile at Violet. She felt like fireworks had gone off in her heart as she turned back to look out at the stars that glistened in the night sky. She had gone from breaking down after a nightmare, to feeling sick with butterflies, to feeling like she was on top of the world. She couldn't suppress the smile that was on her face, she was just so damn happy in that moment. Violet liked her back, that was all that mattered. And she never wanted to stop feeling this way.
They sat in silence for a while, just enjoying the view. That is until Clem broke the silence as a question came across her mind. "Violet?"
"Hmm?" Violet hummed in response.
Clem turned to face her. "What does this make us now?"
She smiled back at Clementine. "What ever you want us to be."
Clem smiled. "Girlfriends doesn't sound to bad." She joked, getting a slight laugh from the blond. They sat in silence again for another minute or so, before Clem gave a yawn.
Violet looked to Clementine, concern etched onto her face. She knew Clem couldn't of gotten more than two hours of sleep at most. "Clem, you should sleep."
Clem's eyes widened, her body instantly awake. She shook her head. "No, I-I can't. I don't want to have another nightmare."
Clem could feel the lack of sleep catching up to her. She felt so tired, but she didn't want to go back to sleep. She couldn't endure the terrors of another nightmare. She wouldn't allow herself to fall asleep if she could help it. She didn't want to be alone again.
Violet's voice was gentle when she spoke. "Clem it's okay. You wont."
Clem felt unconvinced. "How do you know?" She knew that if she went back into that bedroom alone, there was a ninety five percent chance that another nightmare would occur.
Violet gave her a soft smile. "Because...I'm here."
It took a second for Clem to process what Violet meant. Then it dawned on her. Violet wasn't leaving her. She would stay with her for as long as she needed. "Promise?"
Violet chuckled. "Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere." She reassured.
Clem breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay. But just for a few minutes, alright."
Violet nodded. "Alright."
Clem scooted closer to Violet's side and rested her head onto the blond's shoulder. She was still hesitant to fall asleep, but Violet's presence next to her made her feel calm inside and soon her tiredness took over her body.
Violet looked to the girl next to her and smiled. She couldn't believe everything that had happened in the last twenty four hours. Now the girl she had a crush on had not only kissed her, but was leaning against her shoulder. She didn't mind though. She'd stay with Clementine on this roof until dawn, as long as this didn't have to end. She could live without the sleep and she'd keep watch over Clementine for as long as she needed.
It took awhile to find a right way to end this. I didn't want it to be completely like the night they spent at the bell tower, and I actually had written a totally different ending after they kissed, but decided that I didn't want to take that path because I felt that it ruined the mood. So I went with what you got.
Anyway, I hope you guys liked how it turned out.
Secret Life of Writing Out! :)