"Ok; time's up", Jazz replied, "I don't care if she's ten feet in front a' da' door; I'm callin' her." That said, the saboteur started striding over to Teletraan-One, where Optimus Prime was still busy, working. The Lambo twins and Spike were still sprawled out on the couch, but were soon accompanied by Prowl, Bumblebee, and Wheeljack, who had Sparkplug sitting on his shoulder.
"Hey, dad", Spike greeted, "How's that new weapon coming along?"
Wheeljack gently put Sparkplug on the ground, and said father answered him, "Ol' Jack n' I just finished it. 'Course, we couldn'ta' done it without Jazz testin' it first. Speakin' a' which, is that new girlfriend a' his comin' over?"
"Hope so", his son said with a smile, "After hearing about her 'battle' with Skywarp, this is one girl I gotta' meet." He couldn't help but laugh at the memory of the tale the Porsche had told everyone a few days ago. By all accounts, even Prime seemed a bit taken aback at the stamina this girl was told to have. Humans sure are brave, Prowl replied at one point. Now, the mysterious heroine was nowhere to be found, and Jazz, who was usually able to conceal his negative emotions, was clearly fed up. He was going to figure out what was going on, one way or another. Hearing him approach, Optimus slid over to give his friend the controls.
But just as the black and white mech was about to push a button, a light on the control panel started blinking and beeping; an incoming call. This had to be her. Without missing a beat, he pressed the button to put the call on speaker phone, and asked, "Kayla! Are ya' there? I was jus' 'bout ta' call ya'. Ya' need help?"
But instead of the expected beautiful and angelic voice he so craved, this voice was deep, raspy…and laced with evil, "No, but you can help me to help save your human pet!"
Instantly, the room went dead silent. Anyone who was sitting in a chair rose from them, and anyone who was already standing froze in place. All eyes and optics were on Teletraan-One; more specifically, the loud speaker. After what seemed like an eternity, the saboteur just barely came around from his shock and horror, and muttered only one word, in a tone much like Optimus, "Megatron…"
"Correct…" the dictator hissed on the other side of the line, "I hear you are precise in your listening skills, so let's put them to a test, shall we? I have your useless, human friend as my prisoner. She is fine now, but that can change in an instant. If you are as smart as your resident scientist, Wheeljack, you will do exactly as I say. Thundercracker and Skywarp informed me of a device you used on them not long ago. Bottom line: I want it. From the Ark's position, you will travel ten miles west. There, you will see me and my fellow Decepticons with your friend, ready to make the exchange for the device. Do not try coming in disguise, for we already know what your vehicle forms look like. And no funny business. We get the device; you get the girl. Be there in exactly one Earth hour…I'll be waiting…" With that, the line was cut.
For almost a full minute, the room was quiet; one could've cut the tension with a knife. But then, everyone was startled into alertness when Jazz's legs seemed to give out on him, and he slumped to the floor; a hand over his face. He didn't curl up in a ball, per say, but it was painfully clear that the whole world appeared to have suddenly dropped on him. For some, it was actually kind of creepy…no one had ever seen him look so…vulnerable before.
"J-Jazz…" Spike started.
"I've always-followed…ma' Primus-given instincts…why-didn't-I…now?" the Porsche managed out from his seat on the floor, "I…shoulda' called her…it's ma' fault…" The mech could hardly think straight. All his thoughts were on the girl; who knew what kind of dastardly things that evil maniac was doing to that innocent, red-haired angel? And he was to blame…if anything happened to her, he'd never be able to live with the guilt.
Suddenly, the saboteur felt something take hold of him; two somethings actually. It was the only thing that made him look up to see that the whole collection of teammates in the room had gathered around him. The two somethings turned out to be Optimus Prime and Prowl, who had a hand on each of his shoulders to give as much support as they could.
"Jazz", the tactician began, his logical demeanor still about him, "We don't know how long she's been there. He might have snatched her hours before. In any case, none of that matters now."
"I know this is hard for you", the leader continued as calmly as he could, "It is for all of us. But when innocent people are harmed by our war, I'm the one who should be responsible. It's not your fault, and we'll do everything in our power to bring Kayla back."
Jazz inhaled a deep breath, as his comrades' words of encouragement brought him out of his depressed countenance. Spurred with energy, he pushed himself to his feet; his visor glowing intensely, "You're right, an' sittin' 'ere, mopin' ain't gonna' get ma' best friend back. Let's do dis'!"
With the Porsche up and about again, everyone clicked back into gear. As he usually did when he was in deep thought, Prime began to pace back and forth as he eyed his teammates. Slipping back to his command voice, he said, "Alright team; we have a hostage situation in our hands, and a young life is at stake. In exchange for her, Megatron wants the Magna Ray."
"But we can't give it to him!" Wheeljack exclaimed, head fins flaring, "Who knows what he'll do if he gets it!"
"I don't think we have much of a choice", Bumblebee replied.
As the team continued to review their options, Jazz stared forlornly at Teletraan-One; lost in thought. There was something about that message that bothered him, besides the obvious. He was quick to interrupt the conversation, "Guys." The talking ceased and everyone turned to face the saboteur. He continued, "When Megatron sent dat' message, did any of ya' notice a sound in da' background?"
Most of the 'Bots looked at each other and shrugged. However, Spike spoke up; a look of realization on his face, "Come to think of it, yeah."
The Porsche turned to Prowl, "Anytime a call is sent out, it's routed through Teletraan-One first, right?"
The police car nodded, "Yes. Teletraan-One records all the day's messages for later reference; helps with the log books."
Immediately, the black and white mech began typing on the control panel, "In dat' case, let's play back dat' message. 'Dis time, we'll drop out da' voice an' see what dat' noise was."
In no time at all, the schematics for Teletraan's synthesizer came on screen. Running the latest file through it, the saboteur stayed true to his word and deleted the raspy voice no one wished to hear again. He then clicked the "play" button, and everyone watched in anticipation. Soon enough, a sound did emerge from the computer's speakers; the timbre of an instrument; a guitar. While most of the mechs did the best impression of raising a brow, Jazz instantly recognized the contemporary piece and reveled in the sound.
"Kayla…" he said in an almost breathy way; turning to the group, " 'Dat's Kayla playin' her guitar!" The Porsche heaved a sigh of semi-relief. It was a sign from Primus; his friend was still alive.
"Yeah", Sparkplug interjected; a quizzical look on his face, "But what's she playin'? It sounds familiar…" Everyone listened for a few seconds as the noise wafted into their audios. The human had a point; there was something oddly familiar about the piece being played. It took a minute, but eventually, the mechanic spoke up again, "Is that…Purple People Eater…?"
"It is", Jazz answered, "I have it in ma' archives."
"Oh-kay…why is she playing a Halloween song?" Bumblebee piped up.
Just then, the tune suddenly stopped, and a second later, a new one started playing. The Porsche rubbed his chin in thought, then pushed a button to rewind the message. "Why are you playing it back again?" Prowl asked.
"She didn't play da' whole song", the saboteur explained, "She strummed a snip it, then went ta' somethin' else. 'Der must be a reason why." With that, he pushed "play" once again, and soon enough, the music started. Only this time, the mech began to sing the lyrics to the song being played.
Well I saw the thing comin' outta' the sky It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater Well he came down to Earth and he lid in a tree
It had one long horn, and one big eye
Well I commenced to shakin' and I said "ooh-ee"
It looks like a purple people eater to me
One-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater
One-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater
Sure looks strange to me
I said Mr. Purple people eater, don't eat me
I heard him say in a voice so gruff
I wouldn't eat you 'cause you're so tough
At that point, the song stopped, and Jazz quickly paused the recording. Sunstreaker stepped forward, clearly annoyed, "Okay, thanks for the singin' lesson, but what does stupid, made up monsters gotta' do with anything?"
But the black and white mech didn't answer him. Instead, he turned to look down at Spike, and replied, "I need ya' help on 'dis next one. I recognized da' tune, but I don't know da' words."
The boy gave his friend a reassuring nod, and the 'Bot proceeded to play more of the message. The next guitar piece was a little slower than Purple People, but still in the genre of rock n' roll…actually, more of a pop song kind of sound. Almost immediately, Spike's eyes lit up, "Hey…I know this one; it's a Hannah Montana song."
"Quick; how's it go?" Jazz asked. On cue, the boy began to sing as best he could.
I know where I stand, I know who I am
I would never run away when life gets bad
It's everything I see, every part a' me
I know I can change the world, yeah, yeah, yeah
I know whatcha' like, I know whatcha' think
Not afraid to stare you down until you blink
It's everything I see, every part of me
Gonna' get what I deserve
I got nerve
Like before, the music stopped when the last word escaped the teen's mouth, and the Porsche paused the recording once again. However, all eyes and optics were on Spike; stupefied at the weirdness of him singing. It was Sideswipe who finally broke the awkward silence, "Um…you know these lyrics how?"
The boy rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment, "Carly's the fan; gotta' listen to it constantly…"
Optimus Prime finally cut in, "Please, Jazz, don't keep us in the dark. It's obvious you have an idea as to what's going on. What does this all mean?"
The saboteur turned to address his comrades, "Don't ya' guys notice 'dat Kayla's only playin' snip its a' songs? I think she's only playin' what she wants us ta' hear."
"Well, what does she want us to hear?" Wheeljack asked.
"Da' lyrics", Jazz answered, "Listen ta' what da' words are. Purple People Eater says stuff 'bout things comin' outta' da' sky, an' beggin' ta' not be eaten. 'Dat sounds suspiciously like a certain kidnappin' 'dat musta' happened earlier today." The mechs in the room just looked at each other and the Porsche continued, "An' what 'bout dat' next song? 'Bout not runnin' away or bein' afraid; 'dat she's got nerve. Now dat' sounds like Kayla ta' me; bearin' wit' it, no matta' what life throws at her."
One could almost see the gears turning in everyone's heads, and Prowl replied, with a look of realization, "Hey, yeah…I think I know where you're going with this." The other mechs began nodding as well; getting the picture.
A new air of hope filled the room as Jazz finally stated what was on everyone's mind, "You're right; our friend's tryin' ta' tell us somethin'. We need ta' play da' rest of da' recordin' an' find out what she's playin'. She's usin' da' lyrics ta' send us a message."
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AN: And the title finally comes into play.