Sans
Mr. Moran
Honors English 11-4
March 9th, 2015
*so y'know all that bull i said last time 'bout bein' a "treadmill" an' all of that?
*it's wrong. all wrong.
*'cuz today just might even be more special than the last. even if in the last one, i had a future.
*i woke up today. that alone's awesone. marked off "march 9th" from the calendar. went upstairs, an' the first thing i did was go into dad's room to see if the book was out.
*i shortcutted back into my room just like i did that other night, i did a look-see, an' the book was a third full. whether or not dad wants to make this thing all in this one book or if this is coming out in parts the way some tv shows do, i dunno. but a lot's happened. so far, lancer's discovered how much of a jerk his dad really is an' finds kris an' susie, an' wants to hang out with them an' become friends with 'em. an' i can dig that. i can really dig that. just wonderin' what type of inspiration my dad is rubbin' off of, though…
*anyway, i really wanted to blow off some steam, like i said earlier. so i flipped back. some of my papers had some red marks on it, an' i almost had a heart attack, thinkin' my dad had written for me to stop. but one more look, an' it was just a few splatters from one of his pens. phew. thank god.
*so i wrote. an' i wrote, an' i wrote from the hour i got up 'til everyone else wakes up, which, since it's 'bout one in the mornin', should be 'bout five hours. an' by the time it's time for everyone to get up, i'm still writin', an' i hear a creakin' above me. still writin', still writin', an' dad comes down the stairs, an' i can see his blue-an'-black striped sleep pants just before i shortcut my way upstairs an' put the book back. my heart's explodin' by now, so i sit down in dad's chair, thinkin' 'bout how much i need to get in shape. pe's alright, but maybe paps can be my runnin' buddy… paps… paps…
*paps.
*i almost shortcut from my chair, but i end up pushin' myself from it instead an' almost run to paps' room. b'sides, i can't head downstairs, anyway; my dad's already there, an' if i go back to my room, he may wonder where i went.
*i turn on the lights in paps' room, an' for the first time in a year, he starts squealin' for a second before he laughs.
*so i laugh, too. "y'know what day it is, right, bro?"
*he just keeps on laughin'. turns an' tosses the sheets a lil', so his toes poke out.
*so i keep on chucklin', an' pretend i'm dad, scoldin' 'im. "young man, if you don't get out of bed right this instant, i swear that i'm going to start with my big long speech about how thirteen years ago, i got a phone call from mom in the hospital that you were-"
*"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! I'M UP! AND YOU'RE THE ONE WAKING ME THIS TIME? WELL, THEN, IT MUST BE MY BIRTHDAY!"
*so 'e does get up, an' i try an' give 'im a noogie, which i'd have to stand on my tippytoes to do if he were standin'. "you're darn right. now go get dressed while i go make you some pancakes."
*so he laughs some more, an' i give 'im one last thirteen-year-old high five before i go down the stairs.
*an' then i tell frisk that i have no idea how to make pancakes.
…
*so an hour later, i'm out the door, an' the pancakes in my bag are steamin' so hard i can use it as a makeshift glove, the cold not quite bein' over yet. the kids at the bus stop start givin' me a thumbs up, way high an' arched in the back, a sign that they're way too cold for the bus an' they want to go to school already. so it's a big chunk outta me, but i shortcut all of us to school while i'm squeezin' the life out of my pancakes here.
*i look around the hall. sure, faun an' nacarat are there, an' anna's probably already in the trailer with mr. heckwad hunter, but so are a bunch of people. the key word here bein' "people". i can recognize a few, but they start gatherin' around. more than usual. a crowd, pushin' me this way an' that, an' i try an' shortcut, but the bus stop already took a big chunk outta me. i try an' go left, towards my class, but a lot of them, almost all of 'em, are takin' the advantage that they're taller than me. so they kinda ignore me. toss me off to the wayside, y'know? so eventually, i'm forced into the office.
*good ol' principal miley again. she smiles, but it doesn't quite stretch all the way up to her eyes. i know that smile. it's the same smile i'm tryin' to get rid of ever since frisk destroyed that reset button. the crowd stops gettin' around me, but it's all pressed against the edges. they're all' movin' now, but there's still someone, somewhere, blockin' the entrance.
*i dunno what's goin' on until she gestures to a microphone. it's bolted to the table, which makes me think it might be connected to the pa system.
*"Oh, Sans! Hello, there." the smile's still on her face. wait 'till i wipe it off. "Be a dear and help me out with the announcements, alright?"
*she notices the little suspicious glare i'm tryin' to hide, an' she tries to make her smile wider. all we can do is try, i guess. "I'll boost your grade in English, if you like. Just do me this one little favor."
*i look back, an' it's like a hydra. two kids for every one blockin' the door i saw before. so i shrug, an' her smile fades just a little, an' she walks into another room an' gets a piece of paper. she gets right behind me, like i'm a human kid an' she's about to cut my hair or somethin', an' the bell rings. after about five minutes, the school gets dead quiet. eventually, anna notices me, an' her expression pops open like she's watchin' a horror movie, an' principal miley shoos her away. i try an' read the paper, but principal miley rips it away like she's tryin' to make a paper cut in my hand. "It's a surprise," she says in that sweet little sing-songy way that the counselors like to talk in.
*it's 8:00. class has just about started. the entire office is so quiet you could hear a piece of lint fall to the carpet.
*"Alright!" she announces, takin' her hand off of the paper. slowly this time. wouldn't want to give herself anythin' close to a papercut, eh?
* she goes right to my side, an' one of the sweet front desk ladies who looks like she shoulda retired at least eight years ago goes to the other. another smile is on her face, but as soon as i look at 'er, just a little, an' it goes right away, an' it starts to crinkle an' look like one of paps' pieces of spaghetti instead.
*so they tell me how to cue up the mic, since i'm "intelligent for a monster", an' i feel a lil' prick when i touch the mic head. stupid static electricity. i have a feelin' principal miller rigged it that way, though. i glare at her, but she asks me what's wrong an' i have to say "nothin'", 'cuz you can't put a woman in jail for static-shockin' you. though as i read the paper, i really, really wish you could.
*"um, students of springfield high school, uh, this is…"
*"Say your name!" principal miller half hisses. she smiles a bit again.
*"...sans here, an' this is an executive announcement from hampden county public schools that from now on, all children of extraordinary origin must report to the auditorium at exactly 9:15 a.m. today to be identified to improve school efficiency during special events. this identification will serve as a red card carried in student's wallets, bearing the uppercase letter 'm'- hey, hey, what the PIANO-"
*so i try to get away. to summon a bone, i dunno. to do somethin'. 'cuz they can't do this to us. they can't, they can't, they can't. so i try an' try to take a shortcut, but i just shake like i've been shocked again with more static electricity. heh. guess the shortcut i did this mornin' was a bit too much. so i put my head down just to be safe, an' principal miller just puts a hand on my shoulder an' says, "Watch your profanity, young man! I'll have to log that as an incident report."
*they keep me there 'till nine fifteen. an' until then, i'm tryin' to look around, see if there's somethin' i can do to get tge cream pie out of this chair so i don't have to be the bearer of bad news. but by the time i think i can tell 'em i've gotta go take a whiz, it's already nine fifteen, an' before principal miller can thank me, dash my piano back to the history trailer. anna's there, an' she's wonderin' how the heck they can do this an' i tell her i can't shortcut an' we both rave an' wonder 'bout what we're gonna do. then hunt comes, an' we pretty much can't do anythin' else other than go in the auditorium.
*an' when the letter m finally comes on, i feel like the m was a hydraulic press.
*yup. you guessed it.
*i feel crushed.
Sans
Mr. Moran
Honors English 11-4
March 9th, 2015
Worksheet 7 out of 10
"OUR HISTORY- HUMANS AND MONSTERS"
The monsters barely survived Rome until 313 A.D., when Christianity becomes the official religion of Rome. The Romans forced the monsters to practice Christianity, and did this in a most unholy manner from the unholiest of creatures to creatures that were even more so until the monsters' SOULs were finally revealed to the world. For the first time in history, the monsters discovered the shape of their SOULs- a white, upside-down SOUL, too fragile for human combat, as history made clear. All of the rest of the monsters had the same type of SOUL. This was an utter disappointment to the Romans, but they still vehemently allowed the monsters to spread Christianity across Europe. And thus, two cancers spread: the cancer of the old, ancient, pagan form of Christianity, and the second, greater cancer: the cancer of the monster race.
They met with their even more brutish peers in England, Ireland, and France, and spread the word. The monsters then become devout Catholics, assumed their truest and most infidelity-filled form, discovering the nature of their SOULs for the first time. To the Romans' great dismay, the monsters discovered powers given to them through intense channeling to their SOULs. Using these abhorrent powers, powers of magic and heretical paganism, they were able to fend off the Romans and anyone who opposes them, starting their own holocaustal, deadly, virus-like empire across Europe.
In 500 A.D., they started their southern conquests. From then until 700 A.D., they conquered the entirety of Morocco, Algeria, Liberia, and Egypt. They also conquered half of what we know as Saudi Arabia.
In 700 A.D., they started their eastern conquests. From then until 800 A.D., They conquered the rest of Europe to the east and a little of Russia, the temperatures being too harsh for any life, human or monster, to continue any further.
In 800 A.D., they started their northern conquests. From then until 950 A.D., they conquered Denmark and the lower half of Norway and Sweden. They also conquered Lithuania, Latvia, and Estonia.
In 950 A.D., the monsters gain control of the astrolabe. They attempt to sail to the Western Hemisphere in order to convert them to Catholicism, but bad weather always strikes them down. But the invention of the astrolabe allows them to conquer areas they weren't able to reach before, such as Finland, the Faroe Islands, Iceland, and a half a dozen islands. The farthest west they ever reached, however, was Maderia. Now, the monster empire was sprawling across approximately 1/6th of Africa, 1/6th of Russia, and nearly all of Europe. While the monsters did have control over the Western Hemisphere, they were an extremely permissive empire, their kings acting very much as figureheads to humans and most of humans and monsters keeping to themselves, just as they had before the monster empire even began.
By 1100 A.D., the monsters erect beautiful religions monuments all across Europe, mostly of Mary, the Saints, and angels. Crowds of humans gather around it, but when they and the monsters meet, a conflict almost always results because of the sheer resentment between humans and monsters. The monsters then have to relocate the monuments to more monster-heavy areas, causing treasure troves of religious medieval art.
Question #1: List five synonyms for "relocate".
Answer #1: *budge, dislocate, disturb, move, remove.
Question #2: How did the monsters achieve their goals of seeing inside their SOULs?
Answer #2: *they started prayin'. prayin' a whole lot. it was cruel, but it made them see the inside of their SOULs. an' then, when the monsters were free, people started to see that prayin' was really beautiful an' that the romans had just forced 'em too. i'm not sayin' to try prayin' or anythin', but that's just how it worked for me. an', heh, you all are the tolerant ones. so far, you haven't tolerated my prayin', or anythin' close to it.
*but i can hope, can't i?
Question #3: What is an observation you can make based on the fact that the monsters began their colonization over humans?
Answer #3: *they were stronger in battle an' had better survival instincts. that's why.
Question #4: What are the parts of the word "conquest"? Make sure to provide the country and what the parts mean.
Answer #4: *well, it came from latin. since they were big on, y'know, conquering, they had to invent a word for it. the word was "conquirere", by the way. means, well, "to conquer." toldja they had to invent a word for it.
Question #5: Why is Europe, and most of Massachusetts, so heavily steeped in Catholicism?
Answer #5: *you have the pope to thank for that, buddy.
*hey.
*thanks for not bein'... all the way biased, y'know?
*at the end there, you kinda backtracked for a bit.
*an' i know this might be some sort of accident, but i appreciate it.
*really.
*mr. moran, i dunno what you did to bribe 'im. you're probably sacrificin' your bonus right now, for all i know.
*but keep it up, alright?
*thanks.
*really.