Not mine. :(

Ch. 10

Therapy, You Were Never a Friend to Me and You Can Keep All Your Misery

Bella sat in the hospital room waiting for some more test results. She has to constantly go now, get tests done on her, so they can determine how sick she's getting. It's been three days since her dream date turned disaster. Edward hasn't talked to her since. No phone call. No text message. No nothing. She doesn't blame him, if she were him she'd be hurt and upset too. She just wish she had never fallen in love with him. She hurt him.

"Bella, sweetheart, can I come in?" She didn't look up from the ground but nodded her head. Esme, her favorite nurse, walked in and sat next to her. Bella squeezed her eyes shut and bit her bottom lip tightly. She sniffled and contained her sobs. Esme didn't no what to say so instead she just hugged Bella. Bella hugged her back and cried silently into her shoulder.

"Bella I can't say that it's going to be ok but you cannot live the last moments of your life so sad. You need to live. You need to experience as much life as you possibly can because you're going to be gone soon. What happened to that guy you were always talking about?" Esme questioned her. Bella pulled her face away from Esme's shoulder and sniffled, wiping her eyes careful not to smear her makeup and clasped her hands together squeezing.

"I fucked up Esme. I accepted a date with him. But I didn't tell him I was sick until that night. I feel so terrible because we fell in love. We fell in love and now I broke his heart. He isn't talking to me. It's been three days." She replied and sighed quietly. Esme rubbed her shoulder kindly.

"Things will fall into place sweetheart, I promise. That won't be the last time you talk to that young man." Bella didn't respond, all she did was shake her head softly and continue to look at the white, cold floor. She didn't think Edward would ever forgive her...nor could she blame him.

"She's sick?" Emmett asked gently as he sat next to a depressed looking Edward on his living room couch. Edward nodded, not speaking. His eyes were bloodshot, under his eyes were dark circles from lack of sleep, and he hadn't shaved lately so he was stubbly. He didn't care now. Life had no meaning. It would have no meaning when he knew Bella wasn't going to be able to enjoy it. He should join her, they could be like Romeo and Juliet.

"She's going to die?" Emmett couldn't believe it. He had grown to love this girl as a baby sister, she had no one but them and now they were all going to lose her. Emmett felt his own heart break and his mouth dry.

"I don't know what to say Edward...I want to say I'm so sorry but that just doesn't seem to be enough in a situation like this. She's dying and we can't do anything about it." Emmett whispered. Edward was so angry by this statement. Did he have to keep bringing up that she was dying? That she was going to fucking die!

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Emmett was taken back by the anger in his friends tone, he scooted back on the couch as Edward stood up and paced the floor wildly. He was panting and running his fingers through his hair angrily.

"She's not dying. She's not dying. She's not dying. She not going to fucking die. She's not going to fucking die. Oh God. Oh God. Dear God help me please. Help me please..." Edward muttered this all to himself before his voice broke and he fell to the floor in a crying heap again. He pounded the floor angrily as his body shook violently with heavy sobs. He hates this. This isn't fair. How could God possibly take such a sweetheart away from the planet when she's done nothing to deserve it? Emmett rushed over to his best friend, helping him in his time of need.

"Edward calm down, it's ok-"

"IT'S NOT FUCKING OK EMMETT! SHE'S DYING! THE GIRL I HAVE GIVEN MY HEART TO IS DYING AND I CAN'T DO A FUCKING THING TO STOP IT! HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT ME TO CALM DOWN!" Edward shouted with rage and pushed Emmett off of him. Emmett didn't take the offensive. He just re-wrapped his long arms around Edward's quivering body, even much to Edward's protest, and held him tighter. Edward squirmed and tried to get him to let go but eventually he just got too tired from all the crying and just broke down into Emmett's chest. He squeezed him harder and sobbed.

"Emmett I don't know what to do. I can't lose her. I want to be with her, but I can't watch her die. I love her so much I even fucking contemplated suicide because what's the point of living when she's going to be gone?" Emmett's eyes widened at the mention of suicide. Edward's brother killed himself back in high school and Edward was torn up. He can't be thinking of doing that to himself. He can't lose Edward.

"Please tell me what should I do? I don't want her to die, I can't live without her. How am I supposed to move on when I know she's going to be gone soon?" Edward begged.

"There is a meaning to life, you will use the faith and strength and the knowledge of Bella watching you from up above to move on. She's never going to leave you Edward. Physically she will but emotionally she's going to live forever in your heart and in your memories so you can keep her alive that way. I know it's going to hurt when she's gone but that's why you have us, to help keep you strong." Emmett explained to a crying Edward.

"Why do all the people I care most about leave me!" Emmett didn't know how to respond, he just held Edward tighter.

"Go to her Edward, go to her before it's too late."

Bella pulled up in front of her home and sighed. Another bad trip from the hospital. She's dying. She's accepted this. At first, she wanted to die alone. She wanted people to just forget her so she could fade away in the background like it was always meant to happen. But now...she doesn't want. She has Edward. She has Emmett. She has Jake. She has Jasper. They've become her family. They look out for her. Edward has become her love. Her heart swells for him. She cut the engine of her car before stepping out and locking it behind her. Her eyes widened when she saw who was on her porch.

"Edward?" She whispered in complete shock. He looked up, he looked terrible. His face was scruffy. His eyes were bloodshot. Dark circles surrounded the underside of his eyes. He obviously hadn't slept in days. He had obviously been crying.

"Bella I..." He didn't know what to say. Everything he wanted to say just lost his mind. All he could think about was holding her. So that's exactly what he did. He ran over to her and Bella was caught off guard as he pulled her into a tight hug. But she didn't push him away. She held his neck as he pulled her even closer and he bent down resting his face into the crook of her neck.

"Don't leave me Bella...please don't...you need me now more than ever, just as I need you. We can work through this. We can be together. We can find away. I don't want you to be alone these last couple of months. That's not fair. To either of us. I don't want you to die, I don't think I can handle so much but I want to be with you. I want you to be loved, and I don't want you to die alone. We're all you have and we're sticking with you." Edward's speech made her sob and he pulled her tighter into his chest as she held him tightly and cried. He rubbed her back and kissed her head repeatedly.

"Oh Edward...thank you so much...I love you, please, please don't let go...I don't want you to. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I just didn't know how and I just grew so selfish. I wanted you to be mine, I wanted to be loved before I died. You've given that to me. As long as I have you...I know I can leave alright..." Bella held his face now, rubbing under his eyes with her thumb. Her soft skin comforted and soothed him, he shut his eyes and nodded.

"I love you so much already Bella, my love will only grow stronger as you become weaker. I'm fucking hurt and so upset that you're leaving and that you didn't tell me sooner but I don't blame you. I wouldn't of had the courage to. I'm not going anywhere baby...I'm always here..." He bent down and captured her lips within his. She held his face a little tighter, his grip on her lips tightening as he pulled her up slightly to reach him better. Their lips moved in sync together, pushing together and pulling apart. It was filled with so much passion, so much love and trust, Edward and Bella didn't want to let go of each other.

"I'm always going to be with you...I promise."

aww they're together again! yay! time for some sweetness but the sadness...it's coming soon. fair warning. i love you guys so much, thanks for all the support! =D keep the reviews coming please