Star Wars
Episode V: The Empire Strikes Out
Chapter 10: Yoda
When we last left Luke Skywalker, he and R2 went to the planet Dagobah to find Jedi Master Yoda and learn the ways of the Force. Unfortunately, Luke's X-Wing crashes into a swamp and he and R2 are pretty much stuck there for a while. So, he decided to set up camp near the crash site. He is now eating his dinner.
Luke: Well, I got camp set up and you're filling up with power.
R2-D2: And it's Dr. Pepper flavored, too. Good choice. I would've preferred Pepsi, but Dr. Pepper works, too.
Luke: Glad you like it. Now, all I have to do is find this Yoda. If he exists, that is. This is a strange place for a Jedi Master.
R2-D2: Hmm.
Luke: Still, this place does seem familiar.
R2-D2: Familiar?
Luke: I don't know. It's like-
Voice: Like what?
Luke arms his gun at a nearby creature and also happens to be Yoda, portrayed by an Ancient.
Yoda: Away put your weapon! I mean you no harm!
Luke: Wait a minute...you're Yoda?
Yoda: Yes. Yoda I am. Did you not hear announcer?
Luke: Sorry. Wasn't paying attention. Anyway, I'm ready for my training.
Yoda: Ready, are you? For 800 years have I trained Jedi. My own council I have.
Luke: 800 years?!
Yoda: Hey, I'm more powerful than you think, pal!
Luke: Oh, yeah? How?
Yoda uses the Force on a giant rock and drops it on Luke.
Luke: You're hired.
Yoda: You are reckless. I cannot teach someone like you.
Luke: Please, Master. Teach me the ways of the Force. I'm not afraid.
Yoda: Oh, you will be. You will be. But, since the people on Fan Fiction don't want long chapters of me training you, we'll cut to a montage! And the music will be Learning to Fly by Tom Petty.
Throughout the montage, Luke undergoes serious training while the song Learning to Fly by Tom Petty plays in the backround. Luke does several push-ups, climbs vines, learns Force Jump, Push and Pull while carrying Yoda on his back. While Luke continues to train, we cut to the super star destroyer in the asteroid field where the Millennium Falcon has fled. Inside, Darth Vader talks with Admiral Piett.
Admiral Piett: Lord Vader. The Emperor wants you to contact him.
Darth Vader: Move the ship out of the asteroid field so that we can send a clear transmission. The last time I talked to someone on a garbled transmission, I accidentally ordered seven dozen pounds of Stormtrooper brand cereal.
The star destroyer moves out of the asteroid field. Darth Vader has activated the knee pad in his private quarters and a transmission of Emperor Palpatine, portrayed by Tabuu of the Subspace Emissary, appears.
Darth Vader: What is thy bidding, my Master?
Palpatine: There is a great disturbance in the Force.
Darth Vader: I have sensed it as well.
Palpatine: The pilot that blew up the Death Star is the offspring of Anakin Skywalker.
Darth Vader: He's just a boy that got lucky. That's all.
Palpatine: Search your feelings, Lord Vader. The son of Skywalker must not become a Jedi. If he succeeds, it will mean the end of us both.
Darth Vader: What if he was turned? He will prove a valuable ally.
Palpatine: Yes... if he can be turned, he will be useful to us. But I have one question: Can it be done?
Darth Vader: He will join us or die, Master.
Next Time:
Chapter 11: Facing his Fears