Devastation

By Althea M

Chapter 10

A week before his expected visit Negan came by with a few of his men. He didn't stay long. He spoke with Rick; I saw him pat Rick on the cheek, that wolfish grin of his evident. Then, just like that. He left. It was curious.

After dinner, Rick sought me out, said he needed to speak with me. We went out on the porch and he scuffed about, trying to scratch up the words he was looking for. Finally he got to it.

"Negan and a few of his men came by today," said Rick.

"I know."

"He made a 'request'."

He had my interest

"He asked about 'the Asian guy', if you were still with us. I told him you were. He said that was good to hear. And then he said he wanted to see you down there loading things up when he came next time. Said he didn't like the idea of people hiding from him."

I considered this. I didn't see myself to be 'hiding' from Negan. "What do you want me to do?" I asked.

"It's Negan. I don't know what he wants or what he may do."

I didn't know what I would do either. That night in the clearing had broken something in Rick as well. Who was I to judge? He was a shadow of the man who had thought to take on the Saviors and Negan. I heard him issuing duty assignments, sending teams on supply runs, some going out for days at a time, so that maybe we could keep a quarter of what came in. He'd ghosted around me for quite a while, not wanting to bruise me with responsibilities.

I had not seen Negan, up close, since that night he took my Maggie from me. Part of me wanted to weep, the other part wanted to rip him to shreds with my bare hands. Either way, I was going to have to get close to him and the thought made my skin crawl and my blood run cold. But I might have a chance to get close to him. 'Then what?' a sarcastic part of my mind asked. 'Then I will kill him', was my mind's reply.

"I guess I'll have to consider it," I told Rick.

I walked quietly through the forest. I had several squirrels on a cord hanging from my shoulder. The quiet was soothing. My thoughts were riotous. I knew I needed to do something. It was like I had a boil that had to be lanced or it would cause me far more pain. Negan, the Saviors were a boil.

I found a tree and climbed to a comfortable height and sat, thinking back on my life.

I was thirteen, I was hot and sweaty and one of two dozen or so equally hot and sweaty boys, standing in our meditating stance, eyes closed, hands at our sides, listening to the Grandmaster explain a philosophical point. All I wanted to do at that moment was spar, putting all the boring kata to use.

"You must not only train your body", he was saying in his ancient reedy voice, "you must also train your mind. When you think you have learned the move, do it in your head and see it work. Remember your breathing. Think about the movements. That can be as beneficial as the physical exercise. If your mind can do it, then, after some training, your body will do it without requiring you think on it."

The Grandmaster went on for a time and at that time, if asked, I would not have been able to tell you anything he said. But today, in this tree, I am visualizing 'Doing'.

That evening I sought out Abraham.