Chapter 10
The next morning Sesshoumaru woke before the little miko. He moves away from her sleeping form and gets dressed for the day. He goes to the window to look out over this strange land. It was still dark outside and he was deep in thought. 'I have to stop sleeping so close to the little miko. I'm getting used to her aura being next to mine and I can't have that. We can never have her as a mate and it will not be fair to her.'
Sesshoumaru was still battling with his emotions when Kagome finally wakes up. She stretches her weary body and slowly gets out of bed. She goes to her closet and gets some new clothes to wear then leaves her room to get cleaned up.
Kagome was still exhausted from the previous day. She needs to find something that Sesshoumaru can wear around his neck that will look like a therapy dog tag. She didn't think that she could hold the illusion today, even if she wanted to.
Then she has a thought, she still has one more scroll left that she needs to study to finish her training. She was leaving that scroll to take with her, so she can continue with her lessons, until she can perform everything the scroll said. It may hold the answer that she needs, so she decides to go and investigate.
Kagome hurries with her bath, quickly dresses, and goes back to her room. She didn't pay attention to the Youkai Lord, that was there and looks for her scroll. When she finds it she quickly skims through the scroll, she finds what she is looking for while she reads what she needs to do.
She will have to go shopping today for a stone. It must be a special stone, plus something that she can attach to it, so Sesshoumaru can wear it around his neck. It was the perfect spell to protect him, and a way for her to channel her powers into the stone to create an illusion.
She put the scroll away then looks for the Youkai Lord. He was sitting by the window and he appears to be deep in thought. She walks slowly towards the window where he is located, sitting down next to him, she could see that something was wrong. She took a deep breath and said, "Good morning Sesshoumaru, is anything wrong?"
Sesshoumaru was so deep in his thoughts that he never notices when the miko came back into the room. He was still trying to decide what he wants to do when he hears someone talking to him. He notices the little miko sitting next to him, "No, nothing is wrong miko."
Kagome saw that look in his eyes. She knew that he was thinking about her. This was the same look he gave her the last time they got into an argument over the clothes she gave him. She did not want to get upset today. Yesterday was the first time that she had fun, and she wants to keep those happy memories. She gets up and states, "I'm going down to the dojo. If you want to join me then you are more than welcomed to." She turns, she was expecting Sesshoumaru to follow her but he didn't move from his spot, so she leaves the room.
Sesshoumaru fights against his beast and remains in the room. He needs to distance himself from the little miko. It was just too easy to be near, her scent calls to him in a way, that he never thought it could. He was not going to mate her. He will not follow in his father's footsteps and disgrace the Youkai race. He needs a Youkai heir and as soon as he went back to his era he was going to part ways with the miko. He can no longer afford to stay with her.
Kagome went down to practice her Tai-chi. When she was done, she went back home to change her clothes. She notices that Sesshoumaru is still sitting by the window and he never acknowledges her upon her return.
Kagome sighs, he is back to being distant with her and she didn't understand why. She went down to eat and thought about what was going on with Sesshoumaru. Then a thought came to her mind, 'He acted this way when we were getting closer to each other. When I gave him those clothes he thought that it was something else and when I explained that this was just something that I do for my pack he went back to normal.
'Now we spent the day together. I was having fun with his inner Inu and today he is back to being distant. When I think that I'm getting close to him he pulls away from me and acts different. I can understand that he doesn't have an interest in me but we could still be friends, right?'
Asumi notices when her daughter came downstairs alone this morning. The little Youkai Lord was not with her and she knew that something was not right. Her daughter barely ate this morning, then she excuses herself to go upstairs.
Kagome walks slowly upstairs. Upon entering her room, she notices that Sesshoumaru has not moved from his position by the window. She got her purse, then asks, "Sesshoumaru, I'm leaving the shrine grounds do you want to come with me?"
Sesshoumaru hears the little miko's words and responds, "No, this Sesshoumaru will not be accompanying you."
A tear goes down Kagome's cheeks, she turns and leaves Sesshoumaru to his thoughts. 'DAMN IT! When am I going to learn not to give my heart away to males that will break it? I know what he is thinking. He doesn't want me because I'm ningen. I thought that we were getting along fine yesterday. I was paying attention to him. I showed him affection and took care of him. Nothing that I have done to this point has convinced him that I'm different from everyone else. We will never be happy together because he can't stand the sight of me.
'I know that I surprised him with my new powers but I thought that it will be a good addition to what I have to defeat Naraku, but I guess I was wrong. He will never accept someone like me.'
Kagome walks downstairs when she sees her mother, "Mom, I will be going out for a little while. I will be back by this afternoon."
Asumi understands her daughter, she sees the pain in her eyes and the tears that are going down her cheeks. But what surprises her the most, is that she sees determination in there as well. She is wondering what her daughter is thinking about, then she watches her leave the house. She will pay a little visit to her house guest and see what is going on.
Kagome walks out of the house and looks up toward her bedroom window. She can barely see Sesshoumaru sitting there by the window, then she walks over to the dojo. She wants to get some weapons before she leaves. She is not about to be caught off guard again, and gets some Shuriken's, and her sword.
Kagome looks at her sword. She found this sword in one of the storage sheds in the shrine. The sword was calling to her when she was learning how to control her powers. It was a beautiful sword. It has a tear drop in the middle of the blade. Black leather covers the handle as gold dances around the hilt. The blade itself was solid steal and it was very sharp. The sheath has a beautiful scene of the forest with animals running throughout the sheath.
The sword called to her and that is the only reason that she found it. It was hidden deep in one of the sheds. She doubts that her Jii-san knew that it was there. When she held it in her hands, it pulses with power and the knowledge of how to use it came to her mind. It felt like it belongs in her hand, then she starts her training with it.
Her mother sent her to kendo classes and she learned the art of wielding a sword. She was good, in fact, she was so good that she was offered a place on the international team that would travel the world to show off their skills with a sword and they wanted her to compete. She respectfully declines and goes back to her duties of finding more jewel shards.
She found a scroll that told her how to cast a concealment spell and how to change the size of an object for her to carry it concealed. She cast her spell and her weapons were now hidden on her body, she was now ready and left the shrine. Kagome made sure that she left her barrier in place to prevent Sesshoumaru from leaving the shrine. She was on a mission to find what she needed to give Sesshoumaru her protection, even if he is not with her.
-oOo-
Asumi waits a few minutes for Kagome to be gone from the shrine, when she sees her daughter leave she goes upstairs to see Sesshoumaru. She has an idea what was going on and she hopes that she can help him with his problem.
She has a book in her hand when she walks upstairs then enters her daughter's room. She sees Sesshoumaru sitting on the window sill, she goes over and sits down in front of him. She stays silent for a while to see if he will notice that she was there.
When he did not move, or recognize her she took matters into her own hands, "Sesshoumaru-sama, I understand that you are having problems coming to terms that my daughter is ningen. I understand that you don't want to be with her because she is one. But let me ask you this, does that make her any less of an alpha because she is ningen?
"For centuries, we all have been fighting prejudice in these lands. We don't want someone because the color of their eyes, or the color of their skin, or maybe it's because they don't meet your standards as they come from the bad side of town and socially she will be rejected.
"But the heart knows no prejudice Sesshoumaru, the heart knows only one thing, that it beats for that special someone that makes you feel special. It aches when you see that person get hurt. You feel lonely when they are gone from your side. Your heart feels heavy when you don't know what to do or which way to go.
"But if you let your heart guide you, true happiness can be found in the most unlikely of places. History is riddled with mixed marriages, what makes them more powerful than the rest, is the fact that they overcame all the prejudice that was shown to them.
"They are powerful when they are together and that feeling only gets more powerful as time goes on. Don't turn your back on finding your happiness. Don't walk away from something because you fear of what others may say. Because if you do you will never find the true happiness that you are looking for, and to be alone for the rest of your life, is something that your enemy wants to see happen.
"I brought you something that you should read. This book tells you the history of the Shikon No Tama and what happens in the end. It is what we perceive happens back then but there is no proof. All that is left are the stories that have been passed down from generation to generation. But this book is different. My husband gave me this book and asked me to keep it safe. He didn't want his father to find it because he knew he would destroy it.
"These are the stories of old that were written down by a Taijiya and her husband the monk. Her children kept adding to this book and it has become like a diary of what is to come in your era. Kagome has never seen this book but I think that you will find its context to be interesting."
Sesshoumaru was listening to what the miko's mother was saying to him. She knew what was going on and he was stumped on how she has knowledge of all of this. Her last statement caught him by surprise when he sees the book in her hand. She places it down next to him, but is still holding on to it, then he hears her say, "Sesshoumaru-sama, I can tell that you are interested in my daughter. All I want, is for her to be happy. I think that she deserves that after everything that has happen to her. If you are going to break her heart like Inuyasha did, then I humbly request that you leave her as soon as you get back. I'm sure that she can manage on her own."
Asumi said her peace, she releases the book and leaves. She will give him time to think about her words and she hopes that he makes the right decision. Because if he didn't she knew that she will never see her daughter alive again.
Sesshoumaru notices when the miko's mother leaves the room. He sees the book that is lying next to him, curious at what the Taijiya could have written, he turns and opens it. He begins to read when his eyes open wide. 'This was made by the Taijiya that travels with the little miko. This is an account of their travels together.'
Sesshoumaru sits there for much of the day and reads the book that was left by the miko's mother. He read all the times that his half-brother will hurt the little miko, of how she helps all those on the lands when his brother wants to turn his back on them because he cannot spare the time to help them.
He was interested in everything that was in there until he reaches a certain spot in the book, "Kagome came back today with Lord Sesshoumaru. Something is not right because my sister is not acting like herself. When we went to bathe this evening, I ask her what was wrong. She didn't say anything other than everything was fine and that we will be leaving in the morning to continue hunting shards.
"I thought it strange that once she came back from her home that the Youkai Lord would leave my sister behind. I thought for sure that he has an interest in her but it seems to me that I was wrong."
Sesshoumaru sighed, this is what he was thinking about doing when they went back to his era. It seems to him that the little miko will take it harder than he thought she would. He turns his attention back to the book and continues to read.
"It has been a week since Kagome has come back from her era and a week since the Youkai Lord has left our group. My sister has changed since the Youkai Lord abandoned her that day. Gone is the light from her eyes that shone so brightly when she looks upon you. They are dull now and hold no life. Gone are her smiles that would brighten up the worst days. Now she walks around with a stoic look on her face. Her features now remind me of Sesshoumaru and the way that he acts towards anyone on his lands.
"My sister is now more aloof, she stays to herself most of the time, while she keeps watch over our camp. She has rejected Shippou as her pup and he is not taking it very well. He cries himself to sleep every night but that does not change the way Kagome is acting. Both Miroku and I are scared that Kagome is going to do something stupid in the final battle with Naraku."
Sesshoumaru gives a vicious growl when he reads that, 'I never wanted for her to reject her own pup. Why is she acting this way? Why is she locking up who she is? I know that she is not like this so what is going through that little head of hers?' Then he continues to read.
"It has been over a moon cycle since Kagome came back from her home and things are getting worse. There are no more jewel shards around and we are all at Edo as we wait for Naraku to make his move.
"Kagome has been distancing herself from the rest of the pack. Shippou is no longer able to approach her because she will attack him for no reason at all. The poor kit doesn't know what to do, Kagome has been his mother figure since the death of his own parents and the way she is treating him has us all baffled.
"I think that part of Kagome's behavior is that Sesshoumaru has not contacted her since he left her behind. Kagome has turned into a miniature Sesshoumaru in the way she is behaving.
"Today we were fighting off Youkai that wanted the jewel shards that Kagome has. She became a thing possessed when she attacked. It was almost like watching Inuyasha fighting the Youkais all over again. She doesn't care if she is injured. Her only concern is to get the remaining jewel shards.
"What saddens me the most is that she has not gone home during this time. I know that she misses her family but when I ask her why she will not go see her mother she said that she didn't have any family left. It was just her and once her duty was done then she will go home."
Sesshoumaru heart was beating faster when he read what the Taijiya has to say about his miko. It seems to him that she has decided something and he did not like where this was going.
"The final battle is finally here, Kami, I do hope that we can defeat Naraku, and that my sister is still here in the end. I will come back and write after the battle."
Sesshoumaru notices the change in script, he figures that it was the monk that was writing in this book.
"I am writing in here today because my beloved has been injured in the final battle with Naraku. We have finally defeated Naraku but with a heavy loss. My beloved little sister, Kagome, is dead and I can't help but wonder if she planned all of this in the last two moons.
"Kagome did everything in her power to push us all away from her when she turned cold toward the youngest of the group. Naraku taunted her while he played with her mind. He made it seem that it was her fault that all of this was happening, from the death of Inuyasha and Kikyou, to being abandoned by the Youkai Lord. He taunted her to the very end and when Kagome could take no more, she released a tremendous attack against him that purified him on the spot.
"When she finally got, the jewel put back together, she turned and gave us all a sad smile, she told us that she loved us, before she made her wish. To our horror, she fell dead on the ground as the Tama disappeared from her hand.
"Kami, I don't think that I can ever bury anyone from our family again, it almost killed me in doing so for Kagome. We buried her near the sacred tree. We knew that she would like to be near the tree as it was her favorite place to be when she was alive."
Sesshoumaru's heart almost stops beating when he read what happen to the miko. He could not believe that she survives the battle with Naraku only to take her own life when she made her wish on the jewel.
He turns his attention back to the book and continues to read, "Today Sesshoumaru came back after being gone for over 6 moons. He was back to his normal size, much to our surprise. He came looking for Kagome and when we told him what happened, I could see the sadness in his eyes.
"He asked us to show him where Kagome was buried and we took him to her grave. It was a simple grave with a lone stone marking her place in the earth. It was 20 paces north of the sacred tree when I saw the reaction that the Youkai Lord has in his eyes. He looks to be devastated over her loss. When he left our village, he never said anything to us, he left with his stoic mask in place.
"But you know, I can tell that he was grieving for my sister. I think that he truly loved her but he waited too long to tell her."
Sesshoumaru closes the book as he opens the window and leaps out. He needs to see if this was true. He flew over to the sacred tree and heads north. When he thinks that he has counted off the 20 paces he starts looking for her head stone. It only took him a few minutes to find it when he lands on the ground.
To his horror, he found the head stone as it said, "Here lies the Shikon miko. She gave her life to protect our village." Sesshoumaru fell to his knees and he was shaking uncontrollably. 'No, this can't be true! She cannot die, she has to survive until I'm back to normal and I am able to take her as my mate.'
Sesshoumaru lost control and gave a mournful howl for the loss of his mate. She died because he was not there to protect her. His beast was furious with what his logical side has done, 'You bastard! Our mate died because you left her unguarded when she finally fought against Naraku. You knew that she would not be strong enough in the end and she ended her life, because you refused to show her your feelings! Are you happy now? Are you happy that you will cause her death?'
Sesshoumaru did not know what to do, he was overcome with grief that the little miko will die when they return. But he was hurt to know that he was the cause of her death in the end, for not being there for her.
He got up off the ground and went to the sacred tree. He needs to get a plan together or he will wind up losing the little miko forever. He did not want that, he wants her with him and he was going to do everything within his power to make sure that she stays with him.
Asumi hears a howl that rents through the area. She ran outside to see what was going on. She saw Sesshoumaru coming out of the forest as he goes to the sacred tree. She now knew that he read the diary, and what is going to happen if he left things the way they were.
When Kagome's father told her that Kagome will be traveling to the past, he gave her that book on the same day. He made her promise to do everything in her power to make sure that their daughter survives what is to come.
After his death, she read what was in the diary and decided to find the marker. She found it and she was terrified of what might happen to her daughter. Asumi knew that this was her daughter's fate, and made the conscious decision to protect her. She just hopes that Sesshoumaru will not let her die in the end and that Kagome will live a happy life with him.
Asumi turns and goes back inside. She needs to hide that book again before her daughter comes home. She could not afford to let Kagome to read it and think that her future was set in stone. It was her responsibility to protect her child and she was going to do it by any means necessary.
She finally gets her book back and hides it in her room. She hid it in its normal place, then she went downstairs to finish making the evening meal. Kagome will be returning soon and she hopes that when she comes home this time, that she was not hurt. She did not think that she could handle her daughter being hurt like that again.
-oOo-
Kagome was walking through the mall. She was looking for a special stone that she can use to cast a spell for Sesshoumaru. She has concluded that when they go back to the feudal era she and Sesshoumaru will part company. She knew it was bound to happen and she has come to terms with it.
It was nice to have someone to talk to. She did not have to play the helpless damsel in distress so he could save her. She could be herself and Sesshoumaru appreciated that. But she knew that he hates ningens and he was a Youkai Lord, there was no way they could be together. She will not be accepted by his kind plus she was a miko, something that all Youkai feared.
Kagome continues walking until she came to her favorite store. She walks in and was greeted by the sales clerk who knew her all too well. She would often visit this store to buy fabric to take back to the feudal era.
Ayano looks up to see her favorite customer coming into her store. She quickly puts down what she has in her hand and rushes to her side, "Kagome! It's nice to see you again. You have not been in here for months, how have you been?"
Kagome smiles when she saw Ayano coming towards her. She always has the best fabrics for her. She came to a stop when she hears her questions. "I'm fine Ayano, I have been really busy lately. Do you have any new fabrics for me?"
Ayano smiles and leads Kagome to a back room. There she left her favorite customer while she went to get the fabrics that she has for her. She came back a few minutes later with an arm full of beautiful fabrics for Kagome to see.
Kagome's eyes open wide when she sees the fabrics. They were beautiful. One fabric caught her eye and she pulls it out of the bundle. She looks at the beautiful white fabric. It has dark blue lines going around the edge. There are golden crescent moons and silver stars all over the fabric. 'This fabric is beautiful, Sesshoumaru will look so handsome in something like this.'
Ayano looks on as Kagome pulls the white fabric from the bundle. She smiles because that was her favorite fabric as well. She then said, "You know Kagome, this fabric comes in blue as well." She then pulls a blue bolt of fabric out of the pile and presents it to Kagome.
Kagome could not ask for anything better. The blue fabric was as beautiful as the white. She made up her mind then and there, "All right I'll take both, and do you have any more of these fabrics?"
"Why yes, I have two more bolts of each color." Ayano answers her favorite customer.
"I will take them all, plus I want this black one, the purple one, this pink one, and this green one. I would also like to have a bolt of interfacing, and I need a new memory card for my sewing machine. I have some ideas on what I want to make with these." Kagome almost purchases all the fabric that Ayano fetched for her review.
As they are walking towards the cash register Kagome notices another fabric that catches her attention. She walks over to the table that was holding it, and looks at the dark green fabric. It was beautiful and when she feels the fabric, an idea came to her, on what she could make to wear back in the feudal era. She then grabs some black fabric like the green one and a yellow one. She takes them all to the cashier. Then she has the store deliver the fabrics to the shrine while she continues shopping.
She went by a shoe store and saw something that appeals to her. She goes inside and gets the sales person to show her the shoe in her size. When she puts it on she was surprised that they were this comfortable.
Kagome looks at her feet while she tries on ankle length boots, that was made of very soft leather. She can move easily with them on her feet. They support her foot the right way, then she turns her attention to the sales clerk, "I'll take this and two more pair."
The clerk was happy to sell her the boots, when Kagome paid for the boots she asks them if they could deliver her boots to the shrine. With a happy smile the store clerk assured her that her boots will be delivered to her home later that day.
Kagome left the store making her way around the mall, still looking for a stone or jewel that will work for her spell. She has now been through the whole mall and she has not found anything that will work. Feeling discouraged she leaves the mall and starts to make her way back home.
She is walking down the street, where smaller stores could be found. She felt a tug in a certain direction. Going with her instincts Kagome follows the pull that she is feeling. She finds this old store that sells antiques and walks in. She is pulled towards a set of display cases and looks at the items in there.
Kagome spots the stone that she has been searching for. It was a blood red stone and it was in the shape of a tear drop. It has a gold ring around the tear drop, with a big ring on top, that will allow you to put a very heavy chain or a thick necklace to wear around your neck.
Kagome smiles at the old man that comes towards her, when she hears him ask, "Hello young lady, how may I help you today?"
Kagome could not help but think that she knew this person from somewhere, she came out of her thoughts and said, "Yes, I would like to see that red stone right there."
The old man pulls the red stone from the show case and presents it to Kagome. The moment that Kagome touches the stone she knew it was what she needed. She looks up at the old man and says, "I'll take this stone."
The old man was happy to sell something to the young girl. He puts the stone into a box for her and goes to ring it up.
Kagome spots a leather necklace hanging near the old man, it looks to be strong, so she took one down to inspect it. She found that the necklace was of the highest quality, she then puts it down on the counter to pay for it and her stone.
Finally getting what she wanted Kagome heads home. She must look at her scroll one more time before she can cast her spell. She needs to make sure that she gets this right. It's going to take a lot of her energy to create this spell and she wanted to make sure that the spell was cast correctly.
While Kagome was walking down the street she notices a difference in the area. People were now out of their homes and sitting in the sun. There were children playing on the sidewalks as their mothers looked on to make sure they stay safe.
She was passing by a group of women when she hears one of them say, "Did you hear what happen to that gang that was terrorizing the area? They were found in the park unconscious and they were severely beaten. They took the leader of the gang to the hospital, because his testicles were destroyed. The police said that whatever he got hit with must have had tremendous power behind it to cause such damage. None of them have identified their attacker but they have not come back to this area, and for that I'm grateful."
Kagome continues walking and smiles. 'So, the gang is finally gone from this area. At least things can get back to normal.' She makes her way home and climbs up the stairs to the shrine.
Immediately she scans the area for Sesshoumaru and notices that he is in the sacred tree. 'He is so much like his brother, both use this tree to think, I know that is why he is up there.' She continues walking and heads for her home, entering, she looks for her mother.
After greeting her mother, and finding out that dinner was still a few hours away, Kagome goes upstairs. She finds her scroll; she takes it with her and goes to her dojo. She needed the protection of the dojo for what she was about to do. At least she has the satisfaction of knowing that she will not destroy her home if her powers get out of control.
She made sure of that some time ago, when she found a spell that would contain her powers if they got out of hand. It was a good thing that she did. Her powers have gone out of control a couple of times, now she has control over them.
Kagome walks to the middle of the dojo and pulls the box from her pocket. She removes the stone from the box and threads the leather necklace through the loop. It was perfect as she ties it off and pulls out her scroll. She re-reads what she must do, puts it down and gets ready.
Kagome holds the stone in the palm of her hands. Slowly she gathers her powers as she recites the ancient words:
Come to me elements of the world,
Fire, air, water, and earth,
Come to me oh spirit of the forest,
For within you I find strength,
Come to me oh heart of the land,
For in you I have the power to protect,
Come to me oh spirit of my soul,
For you will bind my spell,
Let no harm, let no soul,
Touch the one who wears my stone.
Kagome's body starts to glow as her inner most powers comes forth. She engulfs the stone in her powers when her spell is cast. The stone rises from the palm of her hands, as it floats in front of her face.
Kagome's eyes turn white as she continues to pour her powers into this stone. A small blue orb leaves her body as it goes into the stone that is floating in front of her. The red tear drop explodes with power as the spell was finally set inside of it.
Kagome's power slowly goes back down as the stone lands gently in the palm of her hands. When she looks at the stone there is a lone blue teardrop in the middle. She finally sits down because it has taken a tremendous amount of her energy to make this spell. She is breathing hard from her efforts, she manages to put the stone away, not wanting anyone to see what she has done.
A minute goes by when she hears, "Miko are you all right?"
-oOo-
Sesshoumaru was sitting in the sacred tree, he was trying to find the answer to what he read this day. He was so deep in thought that he never notices when the little miko came back to her home.
He was brought out of his thoughts when he feels a tremendous amount of energy being released in the dojo. He forms his cloud under his feet and races to the dojo to see what is going on. To his surprise, he spots the miko on the floor and she was breathing hard. He approaches her with caution while he asks his question.
To Sesshoumaru's surprise when the little miko answers his question it was in a voice that he was all too familiar with.
Kagome feels when Sesshoumaru is floating behind her, she takes a deep breath and answers, "Lord Sesshoumaru, everything is fine with this Kagome. I am in no need of assistance at the moment."
Sesshoumaru was caught off guard when he hears her reply. Her voice sounds so cold and distant that he moves in to face her. What he saw was not to his liking. Her expressive eyes were gone. In their place was a cold look that will freeze the strongest of their enemies. Her features were cold and hard, almost like his. He did not like this new Kagome, and states, "Miko, why are you acting like this? I demand that you return to your normal self."
Kagome raises an eyebrow to the Youkai Lord, she was just doing like he suggested to her, "This Kagome has no idea what you are talking about. I am acting the way an alpha is supposed to act in their pack. I will not show any weakness to my enemies and my emotions are now locked within this person. I have taken your advice to heart Lord Sesshoumaru, in this way I will be a more productive alpha for my pack when we go back."
Sesshoumaru could not believe what he was hearing. His little miko was taking the first steps to closing off her emotions and he must stop her. The book keeps coming back to his mind, "Miko, you hide your emotions from your enemy, not from your pack and especially not from me."
Kagome turns away from Sesshoumaru and holds on to her will. She will not back down and return to the way she was before. He will only reject her again; he was playing with her emotions and she had enough. "This Kagome will not honor your request. You are not part of my pack, you are a guest. I will do what I must to gather the remaining jewel shards and kill Naraku. Once my mission is accomplished I will leave you all to live out your lives. I will no longer be needed."
Sesshoumaru was shocked to hear this. His female was no longer listening to him and he was afraid that he has lost her because of his behavior. He was trying to think of a way to get to her when he notices that she is leaving the dojo.
Kagome is not going to bend to the Youkai Lords will. It was time that she went back home. The evening meal is almost ready, she got up off the ground and starts to make her way back to her house. She is not going to leave herself open to get hurt again. She is tired of getting hurt and that is going to stop. She knows what she needs to do and she was determined to do it, with or without Sesshoumaru's help.
-oOo-
The evening meal was a quiet one. No one at the table was talking, Kagome's family were keeping their mouth shut while they look at Kagome and the Youkai Lord. It was apparent to them that something is going on between the two of them. Sesshoumaru was eyeing the little miko out of the corner of his eye. She still has that cold mask on her face while she continues to eat.
Kagome notices that Sesshoumaru kept staring at her during their meal. She was not going to back down to him, just so he could hurt her again. She could take a hint and it took two hits for her to get it, but she did get his message loud and clear. He did not want to get close to her so she was going to make it easy for him.
When everyone was done eating, Kagome helps her mother clean up the kitchen. Asumi notices the way her daughter was acting during dinner and she didn't like this behavior. Once everyone was out of the kitchen she takes the opportunity to set her daughter straight on a few things.
Asumi notices the expression on Kagome's face, it was a cold mask that told everyone to stay away or they will suffer her wrath. This was not the way she raised her daughter and she was not going to act this way in her home, "Kagome, what is wrong with you?"
Kagome looks at her mother and states rather coldly, "There is nothing wrong mom."
Asumi rounded on her daughter, she looks at her straight in the eyes, "Kagome, I want you to stop this right now. I don't like this cold attitude that you are displaying and you will not use it on me young lady."
Kagome lowers her eyes, and sighs. She did not mean to make her mother mad at her. "I'm sorry momma I didn't mean for you to get mad at me."
Asumi wipes her hands dry, it was now time that she set her daughter straight on a few things, "Kagome, you can't be acting this way. Do you think that you are the only one that has been hurt in their life? What do you think he is feeling right now?"
Kagome huffs, she knew exactly how he was feeling because he has made it very clear to her that he was not interested in her, "He has rejected me twice now mom. I get it, I really do he doesn't want me so I'm making it easier for him to stay away from me."
"Kagome Higurashi, how dare you think that way! Have you forgotten what it is like to be shunned because you're different? Do you think that Sesshoumaru is not thinking about all of this?" Asumi tries to reason with her daughter but it looks like she was going to have to give her a reality check.
"Sit down Kagome we need to talk." Asumi states in a no non-sense voice, she was going to get through to her daughter one way or another. "Kagome, Sesshoumaru is a Youkai Lord. He has a lot of responsibility and I know that the other Lords of the lands will have something to say about the female he takes as a mate. He is battling a lot of things because of his feelings. It was the same with me and your father when we first met."
Kagome looks up as she asks, "You and daddy had problems at first?"
Asumi smiles a sad smile while she remembers the time that she was with her love, "What do you think Kagome? I'm not Japanese and it was looked down upon in this culture to marry outside your race. Your grandfather didn't want me around his only son. I think that to this day he still doesn't want me here. But he accepts me being here because of you and your brother.
"We had to fight tooth and nail so we could be together. I sacrificed so much because I wanted to be with him and I didn't care what I was called or whether I was accepted by anyone, as long as I had your father, I was happy.
"I have tried to teach you this throughout the years. It doesn't matter whether you are of the same race, if you love each other enough to fight to be together then the fight is worth it.
"There are still prejudices in the world Kagome, I don't think that it will ever go away but as our race matures and grows it is slowly going away. Your brother doesn't have a hard time in school the way you did. I remember when you came home crying because the other children made fun of your eyes. Your eyes were not the same as theirs, so they made fun of you."
Kagome listens to her mother, she has forgotten about the name calling that she went through when she went to school. The way she was shunned by her peers because she was different. But after a while all of that seem to stop when she made friends in her school and starts to live a normal life.
Kagome was deep in thought when she hears her mother continue, "Kagome did it ever occur to you that Sesshoumaru has issues because of his size? I mean if he wants to court you properly he will never be able to do it because he is so small. I don't know that much about Youkai marriages but it seems to me that it will be very complicated.
"If this is the case then you acting cold and indifferent will not do. I know that you are falling for him because I have been watching you. You never cared about Inuyasha as much as you care about Sesshoumaru.
"But let me ask you this, how much are you willing to fight to be with him? Will you fight him and anyone else to get what you desire? Or will you just give up on him and life because it is just too hard for you and you don't want to get hurt anymore?"
Kagome could not answer her mother's questions. She didn't know how much she was willing to fight to be with someone. She thought that she fought long and hard to keep Inuyasha but that was never meant to happen, especially when Kikyou was brought back from the dead.
But she has not given Sesshoumaru a chance and she is turning her back on him before she finds out what he really wants. She didn't even know if he even liked her, let alone love her. She could tell that his beast cares for her, he was very affectionate.
Kagome looks at her mother, and sighs, "I can't answer your question mama. I thought that I fought hard to keep Inuyasha but I guess I didn't try hard enough. I don't know what to do about Sesshoumaru. I mean when I feel that we are getting closer he pulls away and turns his back on me. He rejects me in a way that is hurtful. I don't want to get hurt anymore. If he just came out and told me that he didn't care about me then I would be happy with that. But he seems to be leading me on and then suddenly, he is turning against me."
Asumi understands what her daughter is saying but it still did not excuse her attitude. "I will leave it up to you on what you want to do, but your attitude will be changing. You will not be acting cold towards Sesshoumaru. I raised you better than that and there are other ways to keep him away from you, beside you turning cold towards everyone. Am I understood?"
Kagome nods to her mother in understanding. She just couldn't win no matter how hard she tries. She got up from the table and went outside, she needed some fresh air and some time alone to think. She walks over to the sacred tree and looks up. She always did have a special bond with this tree. She doesn't know why but she just did.
She put her hand on the bark of the tree and closes her eyes. This tree has survived for centuries and it was growing strong in the past. It's here now in the present with her, she feels her connection to this tree. Her mind calms while she thought about what she wants to do. Suddenly all the decisions that she has made previously, on her way home from the mall, did not seem right to her. She could not turn her back on her friends, she could not find it in her heart to turn Shippou away from her.
'What have I been thinking? I can't turn my heart away from Shippou, I love him as my own son and to turn him away from me will hurt him more than anything. He has lost so much in his young life already and I have given him the hope of having a mother again. Someone who will take care of him, and protect him for as long as he lives, but what am I going to do with Sesshoumaru?
'I'm so confused right now and I know in my heart that we can never be together. So maybe I can love him from afar and be happy with that. Once Naraku is defeated maybe things will change between us.' Kagome turns and wipes away the tears that were going down her cheeks. She sat down and leans back, trying to relax against the tree.
This tree always has a way of calming her down when she was stressed or confused. She can think clearly and make the decisions that needs to be made. It comforted her when she was sad and gives her strength when she needs it. She closes her eyes and thinks about the life that she is living.
-oOo-
This is the end to another chapter. I am truly sorry but you will have to wait until the next chapter to see what happens in the past.
I just have something to say, I enjoy reading the reviews I get from all of you. You are all imaginative in what will happen next. Some of you are right on and others well you are in left field but I still enjoy reading them. It brings up my spirit when I'm feeling down. With that said, I want to say that this is a fiction, I may reference something from the real world but I make it fit into my fantasy. It is not meant to be real nor it is meant to be the truth. So, if you were hoping for that then this is not a story for you. Sometimes reality is boring and doesn't fit in with what I have going on in my brain. Well enough of that.
In the next chapter there is trouble brewing in the past and Kagome finds the well sealed. The emotional drama between Kagome and Sesshoumaru is not over by a long shot. These two must first get to know each other and then we must get Sesshoumaru to say something to Kagome. So join me in the next chapter as things get interesting.
Until the next time
Ja ni!