For the Anon on tumblr who requested 1x2 for #38: "You fainted… straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn't have to go to such extremes."

Pairings: 1x2

Warnings: angst, language, violence

Thirty-Eight

He felt old.

He felt old and tired and misplaced, as though he belonged somewhere else - somewhen else - and he had gotten lost.

He also felt irritated.

An alarm was going off, blaring into what, seconds before, had been the silence of early morning.

With a scowl, Heero reached over and shut off the alarm.

Seven-thirty. Why was he getting up at seven-thirty when he had only just fallen into his bed at five?

The alarm wasn't his regular - six - but then, it was a Saturday, and he had nowhere to be, nothing to -

His phone started to ring.

Heero groaned and wondered just how many more ways his life could go wrong. It had seemed that, in the last thirty six hours, he had wracked up an impressive tally already.

He grabbed his phone from the charging cradle and angrily thumbed it on.

Duo's name and a photograph of him sticking his tongue out dominated the small screen.

Heero hadn't done that - hadn't saved Duo's number or the photo. Duo himself had added them, had either stolen or hacked into Heero's phone a week after he first purchased and Heero hadn't cared enough to delete the photo of Duo.

At least, he told himself he didn't care. It was easier than admitting to himself that he did care. That he cared too much. That on the too rare occasions when Duo called him, when Heero saw the photograph, his heart and stomach did curious flips in his body that shouldn't be anatomically possible.

"What?" he growled into the phone.

"Well good morning to you too, sunshine," Duo responded with a chuckle. "Just giving you a wakeup call and see if we're still on for building the deck today."

Oh.

Heero had completely forgotten about that, about the promise he had made Duo months ago to help him add a deck to the other man's miniscule cottage on the beach.

Duo had asked in the mess, at lunch, in between diatribes about the shitty state of the newest Preventers recruits. Trowa had begged off, lying smoothly about being out of town that weekend to see Cathy; Wufei had sneered and told Duo that he was insane if he thought Wufei had ever - would ever - do manual labor for him. Heero had been caught unprepared, when Duo turned hopeful eyes to him, a forkful of mashed potatoes in his mouth that suddenly felt like sand.

He hadn't been able to think of something - of a lie or a cutting remark - and had found himself nodding instead. Duo had smirked, had risen from his seat and clapped Heero on the back and called him 'my man.' And Trowa had given Heero a knowing look and shaken his head.

That had been last week.

And last week -

Last week had been a lifetime ago, it felt like.

"Heero?" Duo prompted.

"Hn?"

"Deck? Hard wood getting nailed? Hammers and -"

"Yes," Heero interrupted what would likely be an impressive string of double entendres and euphemisms. "We're still on."

"Right-o. Be over in fifteen to pick you up. Hey, and if you don't have any protection, don't worry - I've got you covered!"

Heero groaned. "Duo -"

"I'm talking about work gloves man, get your mind out of the gutter, Yuy!"

"Right."

Duo ended the call and Heero let himself fall back onto the bed.

He grunted as he landed awkwardly and clutched his ribs.

They were bandaged, as tightly as he could stand, broken and bruised, and he wondered if he would have time to rewrap them before Duo arrived.

Probably not, if he wanted to change the bandage on his shoulder.

Heero forced himself to get up and he walked into the bathroom, wincing as he turned on the overhead light and was nearly blinded.

He blinked at his reflection, thoroughly unimpressed.

Heero looked like a man who had only had two hours of sleep - looked like a man who routinely only had two hours of sleep - and there was stubble along his jaw and above his lips.

He ran a hand over the rough hair. He usually shaved, every morning - every other if he couldn't manage - but he had been in the field for the last four days, unconscious in an alley on L3 and slowly bleeding out for six hours, at the mercy of a crew of gunrunners none too happy to have their warehouse of merchandise seized by the Preventers for a twelve hours before that.

Shaving hadn't really been on his list of priorities, and it was going to have to take a backseat today as well.

He gingerly tugged the bandage off his shoulder, having to stretch across his wounded ribs to do so and he felt the sharp, breathless pressure of pain.

But pain was okay. Pain had been his lifelong friend, and Heero had long ago taught himself to, if not ignore it entirely, to at least distance his physical state from his mental one.

He worked quickly, cleaning out the gunshot wound thoroughly, and rebandaged it.

Heero managed to brush his teeth and was in the middle of wincing his way through putting on a clean shirt when Duo knocked on his door.

He opened the door to admit the other man, taking in Duo's grin, the sunglasses hooked on his t-shirt, the tattoos that circled his wrists like cuffs.

"Yo," Duo greeted him and cocked an eyebrow at the state of Heero's apartment.

Messy and uncharacteristic for Heero, which Duo unfortunately knew.

"Haven't had the chance to clean," Heero muttered and crowded Duo out of the apartment and back into the hall.

Duo snorted, opened his mouth to comment, but Heero glared at him and he abruptly shut his mouth.

To call the disaster they left behind messy would be an understatement.

When Heero had finally been released from his debriefing yesterday, when he had finally made his way home, he had proceeded to thoroughly wreck the place.

He had taken out his anger, his frustrations, all of the emotions that had just risen up to consume him over the past forty-eight hours, on the furniture and the few meager possessions in his apartment.

It had been a mistake - he had regretted it as soon as he wiped the sweat from his eyes and looked at the carnage - and he didn't need Duo judging him for it.

The drive to Duo's cottage was silent, Duo correctly judging Heero's mood and instead of trying to engage him in conversation, Duo cranked up his radio and started to strum the steering column in time to the music.

When they arrived, Heero followed Duo out of the car and into the house.

It was, if Heero had to ever describe such a thing, the most idyllic house he had ever seen. It was small - with only one bedroom, a bathroom narrow enough that you had to turn sideways to navigate, and a galley kitchen that was separated from the main living space only by an island.

Duo, when he had given in to Une's conditions - work for the Preventers or face a lifetime of government surveillance and a possible trial - had immediately set about finding a house. If, he had muttered to Heero in the mess hall, he was going to be stuck on this fucking rock, he would at least live somewhere that made it worth it.

And while the inside of the cottage didn't seem to live up to that - the outside clearly did. It was right on the water, the sand only yards away from the back of the cottage, and miles and miles of clear blue water stretching out to the horizon.

It was perhaps the exact antithesis of L2, of the life that Duo had known before the war, of the life he had fought for.

However, it was remarkably easy to reconcile Duo to these surroundings. He moved through his house with the kind of slouchy grace that Heero never saw at Preventers headquarters - or in public at all - and then when they stepped outside, Duo smirked at the way the sun glinted off the waves and strapped on his tool belt.

"Alright, 'Ro, ready to build me a kickass deck?"

"No," Heero had to be honest, but he sighed and accepted the gloves, hammer and nail bag from Duo.

Duo gave him a look, his smirk fading. "Well… we don't have to? I mean, I can manage it on my own." He scratched at the back of his neck. Duo didn't really have many tells - he was so good at pasting a joker's grin on his face and laughing while when he should have been writhing in pain. But the neck scratch - Heero had first noticed it when they were fifteen and now, ten years later, it was still the easiest way to tell that Duo was feeling unsure of himself.

Heero sighed and shook his head. "No. I promised to help."

Duo shrugged. "Well yeah, but -"

"If I leave you unsupervised there's no telling how unsafe you will make it," Heero cut in.

Duo stared at him for a minute, still trying to gauge Heero's mood, but then he shook his head and smirked.

"I think you're forgetting, buddy, that I am the superior engineer."

"Tell that to Trowa's roof."

"Okay but that -"

Heero had to smirk at the indignant look on Duo's face.

The long haired man rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath.

"Yeah, laugh it up, Yuy," he said, voice louder. "Now quit dragging your ass and grab that 2x6."

After two hours of work - both of them hauling planks into place to build a frame about the piers that Duo had sunk into the ground himself last weekend - Heero was finding it increasingly hard to breathe. Every breathe he took resulted in a sharp, stabbing pain to his chest and he wondered if he was making his ribs worse - wondered how much worse he was making them.

Heero paused and wiped the sweat from his face with the hem of his shirt.

"What the - Ro? Why the fuck are there bandages all over you?"

Shit.

Heero tugged his shirt back down and glared at Duo.

"Minor injury."

"Your last mission?" Duo asked and he stepped closer.

Heero shrugged and turned away. He did not want to - could not - talk to Duo about the mission.

"Okay…" Duo gave an exasperated sigh. "Let's just finish up the frame and we can grab lunch before starting on the planks."

The thought that there was more - that Heero had hours and hours left of this to go - was almost his undoing.

But Heero managed to soldier on, managed to hold the last 2x6 in place while Duo hammered it in and then -

Then he felt a wave of pain and nausea and -

-o-

Heero drew in a deep breath and became immediately aware of the fact that he was not where he was supposed to.

He was prone - his body stretched out on something lumpy and soft and very unfamiliar - and he hurt like hell.

The air smelled different. He wasn't in his apartment, wasn't - wasn't dying in an alley.

Slowly, cautiously, he opened his eyes.

Duo's home. His couch. The same couch that Heero had unloaded from the moving truck with Duo four years ago when the other man finally decided that he should probably have more furniture than folding chairs.

"Hey."

He rolled his head back and saw Duo leaning against the wall behind him, arms folded and face grim.

"What happened?"

Duo cocked an eyebrow. "You don't remember?"

Heero shook his head in the negative. He just remembered the sun beating down on him, remembered sweat on the back of his neck, remembered pain and - nothing else.

Duo's lips twitched.

"You fainted… straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn't have to go to such extremes."

Heero closed his eyes. How incredibly embarrassing. Duo would hold this against him for years. Duo still gave Wufei shit about being scared of a spider and demanding that Duo get rid of it - and that had been seven years ago.

"Ro."

Duo's voice was soft and serious, and it prompted Heero to open his eyes again. He had moved, pushed away from the wall and was dropping into a crouch in front of Heero.

Duo reached out and touched Heero's shoulder and it was only then that he realized he wasn't wearing a shirt.

"You bled all over it when you pulled out your stitches so I, ah, kind of cut it away so I could see what the hell was wrong with you."

"Sorry. I -"

"What the fuck are you apologizing for?" Duo's gaze had suddenly turned fierce. "Bleeding all over my couch or not telling me you had a bullet hole in you or lying to me about your fucking ribs or -"

"I didn't like. It's minor."

"Right. That bruising looks real minor. Look, Yuy, you don't get to -"

"Hamisch is dead."

Duo was shocked into silence.

"What? No. She - I just - what do you mean she's dead?"

"I mean she's dead. She was with me on the mission. We got the weapons cache but during our exfiltration she - they grabbed us and they wanted intel but she wouldn't break and they killed her." After torturing her for what felt - sounded - like hours while Heero, being worked over just a few feet away, had been unable to do anything but watch when they had finally put a gun to her head, blonde hair plastered to her skull by sweat and blood and dirt, and pulled the trigger.

Duo stared at him.

"I let her die. She - she died because I wasn't -"

"Shut your fucking mouth, Yuy!" Duo was suddenly in his face, gripping his good shoulder so tightly it felt like his bad shoulder. "Shut your mouth."

Heero scowled. "Wh -"

"You didn't let her do anything, you monumental asshole. She -" Duo paused and drew in a deep breath. "She was the best, Yuy. She was the best recruit I've ever trained and you - you did not let her do anything. Don't you fucking dare imply that she didn't make the choice to be there, that she didn't - that she couldn't - don't you fucking dare, Heero."

Heero swallowed hard, at the emotion in Duo's voice and on his face. He reached up and wrapped his hand around Duo's.

"I'm sorry," he said again. "I -" he faltered when Duo's fingers turned and curled against his own.

"You scared the shit out of me Ro," Duo breathed. "And I - I can't - you can't fucking die on me, too."

-o-

So SO sorry it took me so long to get to this Anon and I'm sorry that it's not, like, super explicitly 1x2.