Disclaimer: I do not own or possess any copyrights in relation to this story, nor am I being compensated in any way … unless you count warm fuzzies from reviews. Sadly my bank does not accept those as currency.

Fair warning: There will be violence, mature language, and sex in this story, so read at your own risk ... be prepared for MA/NC-17 content.

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Chapter 10

Stephanie hadn't come out of her orgasm haze until the alarm had buzzed insistently. Glaring at it, she wasn't surprised when she heard Ram chuckle behind her, the scruff on his face tickling her neck where he had been pressing occasional kisses.

"I don't think you can murder an inanimate object with your eyes," he told her. "But if anyone could, it'd be you."

"Hrmph."

Getting an affectionate kiss on her shoulder and a pat on her hip, she allowed him to push her towards the edge of the bed, even as she grumbled and groaned and in general acted like a sleep deprived toddler.

It hadn't been until she had been standing underneath the showerhead, head tilted in relief as the hot water worked on the kink she had developed from twisting her neck around, that she really took a chance to think about what happened.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

Her brain shied away when she touched on the times when his feelings had overwhelmed his control and bled through his touches and kisses, but the rest of it started on this continuous loop that had her almost in the same shape as she was earlier. Unwilling to take care of it herself after finding out just how much better it was when he did it, she sighed and hoped that things wouldn't be weird today.

Probably they should have talked first, because now her body was firmly willing to agree to almost anything he wanted if he promised to touch it more.

Glaring at her reflection, she noticed that she had that damn 'glow' she got after sex. And since they didn't really have a full round of sex, that was an accomplishment that Ram should be proud of. She kind of was. Still, she'd prefer not to walk into Haywood glowing knowing that the guys were well aware that she had gone home with Ram last night.

Maybe they wouldn't notice.

What? A girl could dream.

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Completely taking no notice whatsoever to the narrowed eyes and winks that followed her down to the gym, at least outwardly, Stephanie felt her knees go weak for a second when she met Ram's concerned eyes in the mirror as he ran on the treadmill.

Feeling more confident now that she had seen him, she decided that the rowing machine would be a better idea today than the Stairmaster. Her legs had mostly recovered, but she didn't think it would take much for them to remember that they had spent most of the morning clenched tightly in anticipation of one thing or another.

Getting into a rhythm, she didn't notice when Lester came in and glared balefully at Ram or when Tank came in and narrowed his eyes at them both. She did meet Bobby's eyes in the mirror as he stood behind her for a few minutes, watching her form, but he simply smiled before he walked away. The gym became a very popular place as word of what happened last night at the heavy bag was shared.

Looking up and seeing Ram standing behind her machine with his arms crossed as he watched her, she gave him a brilliant smile. She saw his lips twitch before he gave in and smiled back at her, which made her grin in triumph. He raised one of his eyebrows and relaxed when she nodded. Seeing him tap his watch, she nodded and raised her eyebrows. He flashed her 10 fingers and she nodded again before smiling again as he turned away.

This silent but communicative exchange was watched by almost a quarter of the office and would be referenced more than once today as a partial explanation for the meltdown that would be occurring in a few short hours.

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Fighting a yawn as Ram blasted the heat so it would stay warmer longer inside the SUV; Stephanie glanced at his hands and grimaced a little in sympathy. She hadn't thought of it this morning, but they were still swollen and bruised from working the bag yesterday, the skin split on a couple of his knuckles. Then her brain, which seemed to be operating on teenage boy lately, took a detour and wondered how much better it would have been if his hands were 100%.

Feeling like an insatiable hussy, she attempted to focus on something other than what it felt like when his fingers slid over her skin. Flipping through the file on Tom Klein, the FTA they were here to watch, she wondered again how someone lived their life so far off the grid. It certainly made it more difficult to find him, but after spending hours cussing at her computer when it refused to give her any more information, she had finally agreed that they'd have to sit on him for awhile to see if there was a good spot to grab him.

Stephanie was not fond of surveillance duty, no matter who it was with. Mr. Klein was their first tricky FTA since they had partnered up and she was anxious to actually get in the field, not just sit in it. Hell she even missed distractions, even though they rarely used her anymore. Her face was just too well known in Trenton, something they had discovered during the Higgins disaster. At least that was the excuse that Ranger had used when he told her the decision. She had her suspicions.

Shuddering a little as she fought off the feeling of his hands touching her again, she forced a smile when Ram called her name.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just a bad memory. Nothing to worry about though," she said. He nodded and she smiled a little more genuinely, happy that he dropped it. It was refreshing that she was finally with a man who… Brain grinding to an abrupt halt, she peeked at Ram out of the corner of her eye. Did she want to call him hers?

On the surface of it, that seemed like a stupid question. Her body was still humming lightly, quite happy with the new and exciting wakeup call it had experienced today. Explaining to her body that she'd take that under advisement, she attempted to focus on something else.

She liked him. He was a good man, someone who was trustworthy, someone she could trust with her secrets. She liked the fact that he leaned on her as much as she leaned on him. Joe would prefer it if she always leaned on him, never stood up for herself and Ranger … well Batman doesn't lean on anyone.

Tipping her head back, she tried not to compare the three men because it wasn't fair to Ram. Her history with both Joe and Ranger was complicated and her heart had become tangled and twisted as they all seemed to twist around each other. She was well aware that it was partly her fault, but she couldn't change that now.

Could she see herself trusting him with her heart over time? Silently snickering as her brain automatically started trying to skitter away from the question, she yanked it back. It was time to grow up a little and deal with this shit instead of floating along and hoping things turned out the way she wanted them to.

Sometimes when Joe was in a loving mood or Ranger let some of his emotions peek out from behind his mask, her stomach would tighten up and she'd flush in discomfort. It was uncomfortable because she had no idea what she was supposed to do with that. With Joe, she just never felt the same way for him, not really. Ranger, well she wanted to feel that way with Ranger, but she could never trust those flashes. He was the epitome of here today gone tomorrow when it came to emotions.

Thinking hard, she tried to separate the reaction she had this morning when she realized what he was trying to convey and how her body had been responding because of how he was touching her. Finding it unexpectedly difficult, she frowned a little. Did that mean she hadn't felt one way or another about it - or did that mean that it was too tied up in everything else?

Turning it over a few times, she finally gave up and decided that if he kissed her that way right now, without touching her anywhere else, she'd probably melt all over the seat and smile like a dope at him. Maybe that didn't mean she knew how she felt about him, but apparently she didn't mind that he felt that way about her.

Of course it isn't really fair to stop there; she should have some idea of how she feels about him before they start talking. Sure the silence between them was comfortable for now, both of them watching the apartment building in front of them and exchanging quick looks and smiles with each other, but at some point he was going to want to talk.

Surprising herself a little, she realized that she kind of wanted to talk too. Well once she had figured more of this out. Sinking deeper into her seat, she slid into her version of the guys' zone.

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Ram watched Stephanie from the corner of his eye as her expressions changed. He knew she was working on what she was going to say later, probably forcing herself to figure it out on the fly. Having been to her parents' home a few weeks ago for dinner, he had an idea that she had somehow twisted her father's quiet and her mother's overbearing pushiness into some kind of phobia about love and relationships. Not that the men she had gotten involved with had helped dispel that.

He had surprisingly enjoyed the visit, although he had expected to spend most of it being chased by her grandmother and avoiding the barbs of her mother and they didn't disappoint. Her father was different than he expected though. He wondered if she knew that Frank had been an Army Ranger and not a regular infantryman.

Helen Plum had almost made him regret the fact that he didn't hit women. From the backhanded compliments that managed to put Stephanie down to outright statements that told her she wasn't good enough, she had made it more than clear that she was disappointed in her daughter. For what, Ram couldn't understand, but from the way the entire family seemed to ignore her comments it was something that happened on a regular basis.

Grandma Mazur scared the hell out of him; he was willing to admit it to anyone who asked. He had become quite adept at using Stephanie as a shield, something she seemed to have considerable practice at. He had become suspicious near the end when it seemed that her most outrageous comments or touches happened right after Helen made one of her more inane and hurtful comments. She had caught him watching her thoughtfully and just winked at him, but he hadn't been able to tell if she was telling him he caught on or if she was really winking at him.

Shuddering a little in memory, Ram wondered what his family would think of Stephanie. He knew Jon would love her and he was fairly sure that his father would be a quiet fan, but his mother wasn't always the most welcoming woman. She'd eventually come around, but it might take awhile. He would definitely have to do some groundwork. Nathan could go either way depending on his mood and how hard the rest of the family had been ragging on him lately.

Blanching when he saw how far ahead he was getting, he firmly reigned himself in. Yes, he could fall for this woman and maybe he already had a little, but she had some major baggage they were going to need to discuss and work through. Between her first marriage, Joe, and Ranger, she had some serious commitment issues. He wasn't sure she had ever been in a stable relationship. Joe was probably her closest and that was punctuated with bouts of fighting that they could have sold tickets for.

Not that he was a huge prize either. He was still damaged from Colombia and he would probably be dealing with the fallout for years. Then there was the fact that he was still under contract with the government and would probably be going out again within the next six months. His contract was up for renewal in a year, but he wasn't going to be able to tell her for sure what he planned to do. He had seen how Ranger's absences affected her.

Then there was their job. They both worked in a high risk occupation and Stephanie attracted more than her fair share of mental cases. If they started a relationship and it was discovered, Tank had already more or less threatened to reassign them to different partners. Would Stephanie really quit if Tank tried to force her into partnering with anyone else? If she did, would that mean she was going to go back to solo bounty hunting?

Suppressing the chill that ran down his spine at that thought, he took a bracing breath. Could he handle it if she went out in the field with just Lula for backup like she used to? Remembering the few times when he'd responded to one of her emergencies and how beat up she'd been, he wasn't sure he'd be able to be as calm about it if she was his.

Deciding that it wasn't going to get easier if they waited, he cleared his throat and looked at her. Half expecting panic on her face, he was pleased to see something resembling peace. Refusing to speculate on what that could mean, he jumped in feet first, watching her from the corner of his eye so that he could still watch the entrance to the apartment building.

"You and Joe are done?"

"Yes, completely." She chewed her lip a little before expanding on her answer, realizing from his expectant silence that he wanted a little more than that. She couldn't really blame him considering how many times they'd gone back and forth.

"Joe cheated on me and I walked in on it. During the fight that followed, we let our tempers get the best of us. I said some things and he slapped me." She held up a hand when his head snapped in her direction, the anger clear. "I'm not excusing him, at all, and I've been very clear with him that we're completely over. I just don't want him dead for a split second decision that I do think he regrets, even if I haven't forgiven him for it."

Ram swallowed the first three responses he wanted to make. Joe was going to be shown exactly what happens when he puts his hand on a woman the next time he saw him. "If he ever hits you again…" he trailed off, letting her fill in the blank and was pleased when she nodded in agreement.

"I will admit that he seems to be having difficulties with the fact that we are really and truly over this time. He's ambushed me at my parents' house and Pino's a few times, but hasn't caused any bigger of a scene than normal. He'll start dating soon and he'll forget about me."

Deciding not to argue with her, even though he didn't really believe that she believed that, he peeked at her again before taking a bracing breath.

"And Ranger?"

Her head fell back as she licked her lips, more in thought than remembrance of something that tasted good. At least he hoped so. Her eyes were far away when she finally started to speak.

"Ranger is one of my best friends. When I first started at Vinnie's, he was the one who trained me. He never told me outright to quit or that I wasn't good enough and I needed that. The support felt like it was without price, and that was even something he used to tell me. 'There's no price, Babe.' Of course, there was a price, because nothing is really for free, but I didn't see it until it was much too late."

Her eyes caught his for a second before she went on. "I'm not going to lie and say that we've never had anything, but I can tell you that it was never a relationship. I have no idea how Ranger really feels about me, but I'd venture a guess that his feelings are more romantic than friendly. If he had come to me six months ago and asked me to be in a relationship with him, I would have dropped Joe in a hot minute."

Ram felt his chest tightening up. Was she saying that she still loved Ranger and that if he came back…

"No," she interrupted gently, "whatever you're thinking that's making you look like that, its no. I said if he had come to me six months ago. Six months ago was before Higgins and before he left with barely a goodbye, again, and before I grew up a little. It was before I got to know a man who leans on me as much as he expects me to lean on him." She shrugged a little before facing the windshield again.

"I loved him, as much as I could, but even if we had tried I'm pretty sure we would have driven each other insane. I need more than he can give me and he wants more than he can give. I hope he finds someone, but it won't be me. And yes, he knows that even if we've never spelled it out. He hasn't kissed me since Higgins."

"You think it has something to do with Higgins?" He wasn't sure whether he wanted to punch Ranger for making her think that or thank him for finally realizing that he couldn't just touch her and tease her without giving her something to hold onto.

He saw her shrug again in his peripheral vision. "I don't know for sure, but yeah, I think part of it is. Not that he thought I was dirty or anything, but guilt that it happened on his watch? Yeah, that's part of it."

"So no Joe and no Ranger, you're free and clear," he stated.

"Yep," she replied, popping the p playfully. "My turn for a question." She waited for him to nod before she went on. "Why'd you go on a date last week?" She looked out the side window avoiding his eyes, not willing to let him see how hurt she still was.

Ram groaned internally before sucking it up. She had every right to ask, even if the answer was going to make him look like an asshole. "Because I was trying to forget you," he answered truthfully.

Her response was unreadable noises, so he sighed and went on. "I should have pushed to talk about this before it blew up on us, but it was so much easier to just ignore it. I was struggling with wanting something I wasn't sure I should want or if it was even available and I got frustrated. Nancy is an old friend and we've dated casually when we're … unattached."

Needing the connection, he grabbed her hand and squeezed it, waiting until he saw her look at him before he turned his head to look in her bright blue eyes. "I didn't sleep with her Stephanie. I kissed her, but it didn't go any farther. I forced myself to go through with the date even though I had the feeling it was a bad idea. Even though we weren't together, I kept feeling like I was cheating on you. I'm sorry I hurt you," he finished softly before looking back through the windshield.

Concentrating on the feel of his thumb running over her knuckles, Stephanie pushed her hurt and anger away as much as she could. He had been a free agent, something she had repeated to herself quite a bit the last few days. It hadn't been helping very much because she still felt like he had betrayed something between them, but knowing he hadn't done anything more than kiss her had soothed most of what was left.

"It was my fault too. I wasn't willing to talk about it either and then I shut you out when I found out about your date instead of talking to you about it like a normal person." She was pretty sure this was the most mature and adult discussion she'd ever had about something like this. It kind of freaked her out a little. Something was sure to happen to reset her karmic balance.

They were both quiet for awhile before he said softly, "We have a lot of things working against us if we decide to take our relationship further."

Her voice was tight when she answered. "Yeah, I know. And I'm not really good at this stuff either, so that's not going to help."

He raised the hand he was still holding and kissed her knuckles softly before glancing at her again. "If we make that decision, we'll make it together and we'll deal with the other shit together too. It's just like being a partner Stephanie, and you're a wonderful partner."

She was going to reply, but then she realized that Tom Klein was standing in front of the building smoking a cigarette. Sitting up straight and training her eyes on him, she wondered if there was something they could do to draw him towards them.

Her eye landed on his almost brand new Lexus parked nearby and she grinned before turning to Ram to explain her plan.

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Ram crouched next to the black Infinity and tried to think of any flaws in the plan he hadn't already covered with Stephanie. Not finding any that weren't always present in their job, he focused on his partner, standing next to the Lexus.

Getting the nod from Ram, Stephanie lifted the door handle of the luxury car next to her. When that didn't set off the alarm, she risked a glance in the skip's direction before she used the nifty tool that Ram had in the SUV's toolbox. Tapping it once on the window, she was gratified to see the glass suddenly shatter inside the protective safety layers.

Wincing a little as the alarm went off, reacting to the pressure change inside the car, she tucked the little hammer thing in her back pocket before she slowly walked away from the car.

"Hey!" The voice was loud and demanding with a strong Jersey accent. "You bitch! Did you do this to my car?"

Spinning around, but still moving deeper into the parking lot towards Ram, she shrugged at the red faced man.

"Sorry man, it was an accident. My purse buckle hit it and poof. I think it was probably broke before because I didn't hit it that hard. You should turn that alarm off though, it's really loud." This was one of her favorite characters to play, young and stupid and completely nonchalant no matter what was going on. It never failed to make the guy lose all sense.

Waving a distracted hand in his direction, Stephanie turned back around and slowed her steps as she passed the vehicle Ram was behind. Come on Klein, this is where you blow up at me. Don't disappoint me now.

Squeaking when her arm was grabbed roughly and she was dragged, it took a second for her training to kick in. Twisting her upper body to loosen the hold, she stomped hard on his foot before completing the twist to spin away from him.

Grimacing when she realized he pulled her way out of position, she opened her mouth to start yelling and turned back to Klein. Freezing, the words dying in her throat, she stared down the barrel of the gun he was pointing at her face. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up as her spidey sense suddenly went haywire. Seriously? I think I'm already aware that I'm in trouble. Little late now.

Fingers twitching to pull her own gun, she wanted to stomp and pout like a three year old. This had been a good plan damnit. They'd turn him in and have more time to talk. And then maybe tonight they'd be able to have that round of real sex and now he had ruined all of that. What the hell was he doing with a gun? He was supposed to be non-violent, a business type who was up for embezzlement for God's sake.

Seeing Ram ease into the situation from the left side, she could almost hear his soothing voice as he told the skip to calm down. Oh wait, that's because he was talking.

"Hey man, we can pay for your window no problem, there's no need to pull a gun. Killing someone seems like a pretty harsh penalty for such a small mistake, doesn't it?"

Keeping her mouth firmly shut, not only because all of her spit was gone, but so that she wouldn't antagonize the man who had a shaking gun pointed at her nose. I'd be so much happier if his arm wasn't shaking like that. He's not twitchy though, right? Just shaky? Shaky is better than twitchy. Can you shake a trigger?

Maybe his arm would get tired?

Barely listening to the conversation between Ram and Klein, she remembered the thought she'd had right before she'd seen Klein standing outside. 'Something was sure to happen to reset her karmic balance.' Hoping that this would count, she internally cheered as Klein stepped away from her, even if he didn't really lower the gun much.

What happened next would remain a blur for her.

Ram sucked in a deep breath and paled as he moved in front of her, forcing her body against the SUV she was standing next to. One of his arms pressed her head enough that she ducked a little, even as she was sputtering to find the words to ask him what the hell he was doing.

Just as he turned to put his back to her, so he could talk to the skip she assumed, she heard the shot that would haunt her for the rest of her life. The sound was off, both high pitched and a booming thunder and she felt the jerk as Ram was hit somewhere and crumpled to the ground in front of her.

Fear ran through her body like ice before molten rage took over.

Rising from the crouch she had been in and smoothly pulling her gun on Klein, she ignored what he was saying and shot him in the right shoulder. Nodding when he fell on the ground shrieking in pain and she didn't see any arterial bleed, she kicked the gun his numb fingers had dropped under a car and yanked him around until she could zip tie his hands behind him.

Finally finished with the things she knew she had to do in order to keep Ram safe, she turned around and looked at him.

It was good that she had already secured Klein, because if she had realized how badly Ram was wounded when she shot him, she probably would have aimed quite differently. Dropping to her knees beside him, she tried to focus on what to do next. Focus, focus, focus …

What she felt like doing was screaming and begging God to take it back, because the blood coming from the hole was flowing much too quickly. Yanking off her coat and flinging it aside, she stripped the long sleeve shirt off her body and pressed it against the wound. Barely noting the odd placement of the hole, only an inch from the junction of his neck and the start of his shoulder, she leaned most of her weight on his wound as she scrabbled for her phone.

Breath coming in short sobs as she realized her phone had been knocked off her belt at some point, she remembered that she was still wearing Hector's tracker. Digging in her cleavage for the pendant, she used her teeth to turn the panic button on.

Hearing a vibrating noise, Stephanie looked down to see Ram's phone lit up on his belt. Grabbing it and unlocking the screen one handed, still pressing him hard into the dirty pavement, she realized the program he had to track her was running automatically. Unable to remember what speed dial numbers were for Haywood, she called 911 directly.

Giving 911 the address and approximately where they were located in the parking lot, Stephanie heard the beep indicating an incoming call. Pulling it away from her face, she told the lady on the phone, who was way too fucking calm, to please hurry before switching to Hector and putting it on speakerphone. Clipping it to her belt so she had her hands free, she leaned both hands down against her now sodden shirt, ignoring the squelching noise that made her stomach turn.

"Hector, oh my God Hector, please send someone, please. Ram was shot and he's bleeding so badly and I'm scared. It's bad. Please hurry, I turned my tracker on, you got that right? I called the ambulance but I don't know if he's going to make it and I don't know what I'll do if he doesn't make it …" Stuttering to a stop when her chest heaved as she fought against hysteria, she heard him muttering to someone.

"Shhhh, help coming amiga. Ram be ok, que te ama, he loves you. You breathe."

Stephanie spent the next ten minutes slowly losing her mind as Hector struggled to hold her together on the other end of the phone. It was like she was connected to Ram and as he lost more blood she started losing more of her sanity.

Completely unaware that she was babbling promises both to Ram and God out loud, by the time the ambulance finally arrived Stephanie had stopped listening to Hector. She was kneeling in a pool of Ram's blood for fuck's sake. He wasn't going to be 'ok'.

The most dangerous moment came just after she had been pushed away from Ram's body, breath shuddering in her chest as she tried to answer questions. Once the EMT's were focused on Ram, her eyes fell on Tom Klein who was still laying on the ground blubbering about his shoulder.

Rage lit her veins.

Hearing both Hector's and Lester's voices, she suddenly frowned and blinked before looking around. She was standing over Tom Klein with her gun trained on his forehead while he sobbed in terror. Her hand was rock steady, but the rest of her body was trembling. With anticipation or fear?

"Estefania!"

Backing away from Klein in a daze, she cleared her throat a few times before snapping at Hector on the phone. "What?"

"Beautiful, the EMT's can't move Ram until you safe that weapon," Lester said soothingly.

Whirling around in horror, Stephanie's eyes froze on Ram. Without looking, she completely emptied the gun, broke it down into pieces, and dropped them on the ground before raising pleading eyes to the men looking at her.

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Next up – Phone calls, threats, worry, and guilt