"Are you sure this is the only other swimsuit you brought? I swear I'm going to fall out of it!" I hollered down the stairs as I adjust myself yet again. I'm in some God awful two piece that was barely covering the goods. The only good thing about it was that it was black with skull and crossbones on it. Now granted they were pink but at least the whole thing wasn't pink, or covered in flowers. I shuddered, flowers.

I heard Rachel yell from downstairs. "You look fine now get your skinny ass down here."

I snorted as I looked at said ass. It was bigger than Rachel's and it showed. "My ass is a lot of things, skinny isn't one of them."

Rachel sighed. "Would you stop being dramatic and just get down here already!"

"I'm not being dramatic." I mumble as I stare at my less then 'nice' looking body in the mirror. My ass was too big, my stomach not flat enough for a two piece, my thighs were huge, and I was about to fall out of the tiny top. I was larger breasted then Rachel. She was a cute and perky B while I was a full C. I was going to look even more horrible then I already did when I was standing beside Rachel in this…this…ensemble of torture. "I so hate you for this." I mumbled loud enough for her to hear as I headed over to the stairs. As soon as I could grab a towel it was getting wrapped around me.

I could hear Rachel laughing, "yeah, yeah, yeah."

Taking a deep breath I made my way down the stairs. It's just Paul and Rachel, calm down. Neither of them cares about how you look.

As I hit the bottom step I froze. It wasn't just Paul and Rachel. Embry was there and it looked like he had brought Jacob. I was guessing because he currently had his back towards me. My palms started to sweat as my heart took flight. "Hey Renesmee."

I forced a smile to my face and returned his greeting. "Hey Embry."

My frantically beating heart froze as Jake turned towards me. He's gorgeous. Yes that really is my immediate thought. I'm mesmerized by his dark brown eyes, held captive by the intensity of them as they bore into me. Only something shifts. As I stare back at him, the barely hidden pain in his eyes is replaced by absolute wonder.

"Oh, hell no, you didn't." Embry all but growled but I barely heard him.

I was consumed by the man in front of me. The depth of his gaze felt as though he was seeing into my very soul, every dark stained corner of it and thinking it a thing of beauty. I realized no one was talking. They're all just staring at Jake and me. But as much as I know I should, I can't look away from Jake. In fact it's taking everything I have not to go to him, which is weird. And scary. "Uh hey you must be Jake." When he doesn't answer I wrap my arms around myself, trying to nonchalantly cover myself. He's just staring at me like I'm some kind of weirdo or something. It's more than a little unnerving to a girl like me.

Paul elbowed Jake and it seemed to break whatever spell that had been holding us both captive. "Yeah. You must be Rachel's friend."

He extended his hand and I took it without thinking. Everything slowed. My thoughts, always buzzing in my head, slowed to blissful soft humming. But that's not all; the panic that had been rising into near meltdown territory was gone. I'm calm. He's even more beautiful up close. I realize I haven't answered him and am just making a fool of myself. "Yeah. Renesmee." My voice comes out so breathy I should have just kept my big mouth shut. God that wasn't even a sentence. You twit!

Just when I think he can't possible get any more appealing, Jake smiles. It softens his eyes and stops my heart. He could ask me for anything right now and I would give it to him. The slamming of a door saves me from whatever the hell is going on. Everyone looks to it and I realize it was Embry leaving. Boy was he pissed for some reason too.

Jake drops my hand like it's covered in acid and mumbles. "Shit." He turns and heads running out the door calling out for his friend. "Embry! Wait up man!"

I stand there like an idiot trying to shake off the effects of whatever the hell had happened to me.

Rachel leaned up kissing Paul. "I'll meet you at the beach." And before I can say WTF, he's out the door too.

I can't believe what just happened. I stand there completely baffled about what just went down. "WTF was that about?"

Rachel shrugged. "Boys being boys. Now come on lets head to the beach. You are in desperate need of color."

I looked down at my chalky white skin and knew she was right. Too bad I'll only turn into a lobster. At least then I'll have a reason to stay indoors away from fighting boys. Why in the world had they been fighting anyhow? Jake hadn't done anything wrong. He had just been holding my hand. I brought that very hand to my chest and held it there as a giddy feeling swept through me. Rachel coughed and I stuck my tongue out at her. "Shut Up."

Rachel gave me a knowing smile. "Hey I don't blame you girl. Jake is one hell of a sexy beast."

I crossed my arms over my chest. Rachel's playful comment went right through me. Oh God was I jealous? I pretended to be mad at the insinuation of me liking him instead of letting her on to the complete idiocy of my jealousy. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You suck at lying. You know that?" Rachel asked laughing as she gathered her beach bag.

"I was good enough to get us here for the weekend right?" I replied with a smirk as I grabbed my towel and toed on my flip flops.

Rachel held the door open for me with that smart ass grin on her face. "Only because you didn't see Charlie. You can lie over the phone just not in person. Your facial expressions give you away every time."

I snorted as I walked through the door. Rachel quickly fell into step with me. "So who all is going to be there?"

Rachel adjusted her bag on her shoulder. "Well it'll be you, me, Paul, Jared, Kim, Sam, Emily, Quil, Embry, and Jake for sure. I'm sure Seth will show up along with Leah at some point. Although I really wish she would just stay away. She's such a witch I swear."

Oh God that's a whole lot of people I don't know. I was panicking already and I haven't even seen any of them. True to her nature Rachel reached out and squeezed my hand. "You'll be fine. Everyone will love you. Jake already does." She winked and I rolled my eyes.

"You're retarded." I snorted but deep down I was speechless. I knew she was just kidding but the butterflies came back with a vengeance. Just the thought of him possibly liking me made this weird energy surge through my system. I want to see him again.

"You love me." She grinned at me before taking off towards the beach.

I followed her at much slower pace. I was in no hurry to meet new people. I stood at the edge of the beach watching as Rachel hugged the small group of people already hanging out at the beach. Putting my beach bag down, I wrapped my towel securely around myself. If I was going to be meeting new people I wasn't doing it in this stupid bathing suit.

"Come on already Kat. No one here is going to bite." Rachel hollered from her spot on the beach and everyone just looked at her. I had the feeling I was missing some kind of inside joke. Grrrrreat.

Putting on my big girl panties I headed over to where Rachel stood. I put my stuff down beside her and took in the faces around me. "Everyone this is my best friend Renesmee." Everyone was kind of in a semi circle around a fire which wasn't lit and some coolers and picnic type baskets. To my left was Sam and I'm guessing Emily. She would be stunningly beautiful if it wasn't for the scars on her face, but even with them she was still pretty. "That's Sam and Emily." Rachel pointed to the couple beside Sam and Emily. "That's Jared and Kim." She looked to the shorter bulkier guy that sat on some drift wood beside where Jared and Kim sat. "And that's Quil."

I gave them a pathetic smile and short wave. "Hi."

Emily smiled up at me. "It's nice to meet you Renesmee. We've heard so much about you."

I gave Rachel the 'what the fuck? You've been talking about me?' look. She of course just smiled and shrugged. I looked back at Emily and gave her my fake ass smile. "I hope it was good." Yeah that was a good response. It's what most people say.

Emily laughed, "Yes it was all good."

I smiled at her before I let my hair fall forward to cover my face. I didn't want to take off my towel but I had to if I wanted to sit down and not get sand in uncomfortable places sand should never be. Carefully I unwrapped myself and spread my towel out. As quickly and gracefully as I could I sat down on it, wrapping my arms around my center to cover what I could.

Rachel rolled her eyes and leaned over to whisper. "You look fine I said."

I was about to make a smart comment when loud male voices drifted over to us. Paul, Embry, and Jake came striding into view. Paul was walking between the two of them. Jake looked guilty while Embry looked pissed off still. Whatever tension that had been between them at the house was slightly better but nowhere near gone.

I expected Paul to sit beside Rachel which he did. I also expected Embry and Jake to sit beside Quil but that didn't happen. Embry did sit beside Quil but Jake took a spot closer to me then his friends. Great like I wasn't feeling self conscious enough before.

I sat quietly observing everyone as conversation flowed around me. I found myself smiling as I sat there. They were so close they were almost like family. But they couldn't hold my attention for long. Time and again I peeked over beside me. While Jake interacted with his friends I couldn't shake the feeling that he was keenly aware of what I was doing or not doing in this case.

When everyone decided to play football I was the party pooper that sat out. I wasn't much for sports really and I was still adjusting to being around so many new people. This of course had meant there were uneven teams. The last person I expected to volunteer to sit out was Jake, but it was he who sat beside me currently watching the playful game of two hand touch. I still couldn't stop myself from stealing glances. It was during one of my 'peeking' moments when Jake turned to me all smiles. My breath left my lungs as he looked at me. "You're not fat."

I blinked at him, my brain running in a slow hazy pace. "Excuse me?" Where the hell did that come from?

His eyes swept over me and I shivered under the intensity of his gaze. "Isn't that why you're sitting like that?"

I looked down at my arms which were indeed wrapped around my middle to hide what I could with them. "Yeah I guess. I'm, ahh, just not use to being this exposed or something."

Jake flashed a set of perfect white pearly whites at me and my heart flipped. "I can help you with that you know."

I raised a brow at him wondering just where this was going. "How?"

Jake winked, actually winked at me. "Like this." Without another word he stood up and pulled the white tee he was wearing over his head. He held it out to me and I just sat there with my mouth on the sand.

To say the boy is well muscled is like saying the North Pole is a bit chilly. Every inch I could see was mouth wateringly ripped. I swear he had an eight, not six, pack abs. Holy Mary mother of Jesus. There was no way I could look at him and not remember I was a girl. I hesitantly took his shirt and with him watching, pulled it on. It was huge on me of course and covered every inch I wanted covered. Thank God. I can breathe again. I smiled up at him and it was genuine. He had made me happy with one simple gesture. "Thanks Jake."

His eyes lowered to my lips for a second before returning to my eyes. "No problem Nessie. It looks better on you anyhow."

What the hell was I suppose to say to that? I wanted to say that I doubted it 'cause it had looked damn good on him but NO WAY was I voicing that thought. Instead I decided to focus on the nickname he had used for me. "So you think I look like a monster huh? Gee thanks."

I watched confusion cloud his eyes. He was trying to figure out what he had said to give me that impression. I could feel myself blushing as his eyes trailed over me. Thank God I'm at least covered now. "Why would you think that? Because I sure as hell don't."

I rolled my eyes at him. "You know. Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster?"

Jake laughed. "Only a girl would think of that. I called you Nessie 'cause Renesmee is just too long and I have a lazy streak."

I couldn't help but smile when he talked to me like that. He was so happy and carefree I wanted to join him in that place. "Well okay as long as it's 'cause you're lazy you can call me Nessie."

Jake extended his hand out to me. "Deal."

Again without hesitation I took the hand offered. The same sense of peace and safety instantly washed over me. On its heels was the strange rush of energy and excitement. As his thumb ran feather light back and forth across my hand my heart pounded in my ears and the butterflies took flight in my stomach. All the while he just looked at me like I was the most beautiful girl in the world. It reminded me a lot of how my father used to look at my mother.

Guilt laced pain quickly took whatever happiness I had been feeling away. I was the one to break contact this time. I pulled my hand away from him. Poor Jake didn't understand the sudden change in my mood. "Did I do something wrong?"

I ducked my head to hide my face as I shook it no. I couldn't trust my voice. Images of my mom and dad had me too dangerously close to crying. I am not crying in front of everyone damn it! Especially not Jake! He'll think I'm a basket case for real! I tried as inconspicuously as I could to wipe away the few traitorous tears that did manage to escape.

Eric's enraged voice was in my head. This is all your fault! If you would have just left with me I wouldn't have had to do this. You FORCED my hand! I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my head on them. I was having a flash back, I knew this but I couldn't stop it. I had to ride the panic out and then I would be okay. Well I would have been okay if Jake hadn't chosen that exact moment to try and touch me.

Faster than you can blink, I was standing a good ten feet from where Jake and I had been sitting. I was shaking like a tree limb and mortified at my behavior and what he must think of me. Jake was staring at me with utter bewilderment and worry. Great now he thinks I'm crazy. Awesome. Everything started to close in around me; the air grew so thick I could barely breathe. I had to leave…NOW. "I have to go."

So, what did I do? I turned around and ran. I needed space and time away from everyone. I needed to find my center of calm and peace. Why do I have the feeling I just left it? It made no sense but that's the feeling I had. I faintly heard Rachel calling out for me but I ignored her. I just need space.

I ran until my legs hurt, and my sides burned. Which given how nonathletic I am I'm sure couldn't have been far. But I couldn't see or hear anyone so I was good. During my flight of desperation I had run between what I guessed had once been a solid cliff wall. I was surrounded by cliffs on three sides, only the front was still beach and water. My legs gave out and I collapsed where I had been standing. With my back against the cliff wall I pulled my legs to my chest and buried my head in them. It was then I allowed the flood gates to open and the tears to pour out freely without worry or fear that they would be discovered by anyone.