This chapter is dedicated to "Billy Madison", one of the most hilarious movies evaaa! :D Sry it took so long to post…..stupid English research paper. :P You'll c y it's dedicated to "Billy Madison" in the story. LOL!
Eli's POV
"I have to go to history class now." I told Clare.
"Oh, what will I do without you for an entire hour?" Clare said in a fake dramatic tone. I smirked and quickly pecked her on the lips before entering Mr. Perino's history class. Jillian snuck up behind me and poked me in the ribcage.
"Eli and Clare, sittin' in a tree," she sang, "K-I-S….ummm…" she strained herself, trying to think.
Uh oh, Jillian thinking…
"Wait! Don't tell me!" she thought some more.
Kissing, she whispered to herself, kissing….k-isss-innng…..
I put my hand on her shoulder, "Um, J-Jill…don't hurt yourself."
Mr. Perino stood up at his desk, in front of the class, "Ok, first things first. I want you all to hand in your current events assignments that you had to do last night." Everybody walked up to his desk to hand in their papers.
"Um, Goldsworthy….." he called out. I turned around. "Sorry, Miss Goldsworthy."
"Yeah, what's up?" Jillian walked over to his desk.
"Jillian, this is not the current events assignment." Mr. Perino said holding up a newspaper, "This is just today's paper with your name written on it…in crayon."
"Hey, you can't get any more current than today's newspaper." She defended with a giggle. Mr. Perino gave her a dirty look, which Jillian picked up on.
"I mean…..I guess I'll have it in after break?"
"That would be a good idea, Miss Goldsworthy." He then faced the class again, "Ok, everyone, sit down please!" When everyone was in their seats, Mr. Perino began to pass out test booklets.
"Alright, these are your test booklets. You're gonna read the questions in the booklets and you're gonna put your answers on the scan-tron, which will be coming around." He explained, "Now I want all of you to open your booklets to page 69….."
"69!" Jillian cackled, with the rest of the class laughing with her, including me. Bianca, who was sitting a few rows behind Jillian, rolled her eyes, obviously not amused.
Bianca's POV
"Everybody quiet down!" Mr. Perino ordered. He looked over at the new chick, Jillian, "Ok, Miss Goldsworthy, since you have everyone's attention, why don't you read the test instructions at the top of the page."
Jillian sighed, then squinted down at the page, and began to read the instructions.
"T-T-T-T-Th-Th-Th-Th-The…..The….." she struggled to read the words on the page, "t-t-t-t-t-t-te-te-te-te-te...test…..test…" She squinted really hard at the page, "constitutes…."
"Consists." Mr. Perino corrected her.
She had to be kidding me. This was the girl that Owen wouldn't shut up about all day? THIS was the girl that pwned Fitzy?
What an idiot! I thought, she can barely read on a 1st grade level!
I scrunched up my eyes and watched as she continued to "read". I nodded my head along with the words that slowly forced themselves out of her mouth. I swear I could almost see the words struggling their way out.
"o-of….o-o-o-one-one h-h-h-h-h-hun-hun-hun…"
I couldn't stand to listen to this anymore. "T-T-T-T-Today, Ke$ha!" I mocked. I got lots of laughs, but still not quite as many as Jillian's "69" outburst, which kinda made me wanna scream. I just hated how all the guys always went crazy over these ditzy little blonde girls, or in this case, a light-brunette girl. A girl like her could say just about anything, and in about two seconds, everyone would be fawning over her. God, it just made me so mad!
Jillian turned around and glared at me, as did her twin brother, Dr. Doom.
"That was a very nice try, Jillian." Mr. Perino then looked at me, "Miss DeSousa, you sound real confident. Why don't you read the rest of the instructions?"
I gave Mr. Perino a dirty look, but tried not to make it too noticeable. I didn't need another detention. I sighed and began to read.
"The test will consist of one-hundred questions. You must use a number two pencil and….."
Jillian started laughing, "We're gonna have to use those shit pencils again, people! LOL!"
The entire class burst out into laughter.
"Hahaha! Yeah! Number 2!" Owen giggled from behind me. I turned around and shot him a dirty glance. He just shrugged back at me.
It was official.
Jillian had only been at this school for, like, three or four days or so, and her dumbness has already spread like a disease. And FYI, only a complete airhead would actually say "lol".
"Alright! Alright! Calm down!" Mr. Perino demanded, "Let's just take the test now.
Does everyone have a test booklet and a scan-tron?"
Eli's POV
When the class was finally settled, we began our exams.
Let's just put it this way: you didn't have to be Jillian to stare blankly at the page and think, "Duuuhhhh?"
This was about ten times as hard as the French exam I took a few hours ago. I looked over at the clock on the wall.
Two minutes into the exam. One hour and fifty-eight more minutes to go.
I shook my head and looked back down at my paper. I answered a few questions, until I got stuck on one. Next thing I knew, I was staring out the window dreaming about Clare. I couldn't get enough time with her. She was like my addiction.
Snap out of it! I told myself. Damn, sometimes I was easier to distract than Jillian.
*Flashback*
"Eli!" Jillian whined, "I'm bored!"
Jillian lay on the den floor, staring up at the ceiling.
I looked up from my comic book, "Well, find a way to entertain yourself."
Jillian pouted, "I can't!"
"Find something to do!" I grumbled.
"What the hell am I supposed to do?"
I rolled my eyes. Then I pulled a tiny flashlight out of my pocket and shined it at the wall.
Jillian gasped and pointed at the round bit of light on the wall, "There it is again! What IS that?"
I moved the light around really quickly and watched her chase it around the room.
*End of flashback*
I somehow managed to make it through the two hour exam alive. I handed in my test and walked out if the classroom.
"I'm going home." Jillian announced, lightly brushing past me as she swiftly walked out the door.
"Whatever." I replied, not really caring what Jillian was doing at the moment. All I cared about now was spending the rest of today and later tonight with my beautiful Clare. It felt good that I could now call her "my Clare", even if it's just inside my head. As I approached the lockers, I saw Adam and Clare sitting up against the lockers talking. Jillian was unloading the contents of her locker into her pink tote bag.
"I'll tell him as soon as he gets out of his history exam." I overheard Clare saying to Adam, "I'm doing this for him. He'll understand."
"And ignore the fact that the girl he likes is going to Vegas Night with his nemesis?" Adam chuckled, "Yeah, sounds just like him."
"Ok, please tell me an ostrich started World War One." I remarked walking up to the two of them. "Spit it out, Edwards."
Jillian whipped around with wide eyes, "An ostrich started World War One? Damnit, on the test, I said that a flamingo started it! AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A FLAMINGO IS! Shit!" she closed her locker and ran out the double doors.
"Um, yeah, a flamingo definitely did not start World War One…." She stuttered standing up. I could tell she was trying really hard to change the subject, "And well, many say that the-the revenge in acted by the League of Nations on Germany post War was responsible for the outbreak of World War Two. I'd….um…..maybe suggest tutoring for-for Jillian, because that is some really serious stuff that you need to know for…..college, and…other places." She concluded with a nervous smile.
I just stared at her, really confused, "What is she talking about?"
Adam stood up, "Clare is going to Vegas Night with Fitz."
"Adam!"
"It's better to just rip the bandage off." He smirked, before walking away.
"Huh," I looked at Clare who was trying not to make eye contact with me, "I'm waiting for the punch line."
"Fitz promised he'd leave you alone if I go to Vegas Night with him."
"And you said yes?"
"I want this stupid feud to be over with and if I go with him tonight I think I can make that happen." Clare looked at me innocently.
"I suppose crazier things have happened." I sighed.
"So you're not mad?"
"Just a little bit."
She smiled at me, "Good. I have an hour before I meet Alli. Coffee?"
"Rain check?" I offered. I needed to get home and make sure Jillian didn't hurt herself trying to put on heels again.
"Sure."
I smirked at Clare before turning around and walking towards the doors.
When I turned the corner, I spotted Fitz outside talking with his buddies. Call me paranoid, but I could have sworn I heard Clare's name being mentioned. Then two of Fitz's buddies fist-pumped him. I grimaced as I darted through the glass doors.
"You're a big man, Fitzy!" I got up in his face, "Using Clare to get back at me?"
"Girl came to me, man." He smirked, "I guess she's looking for a boyfriend that wears less eye make-up than she does."
"You hurt her-"
"And you'll what, tough guy? Send your deranged slut sister after me?" His friends started laughing.
I brought my face closer to his and gritted my teeth, "Don't EVER talk that way about my sister again! Or I'll….." Or what? He was right. What was I gonna do to him?
Fitz smiled, "That's what I thought." He began to walk away, but then turned around one last time, "But don't you worry. When we have sex, I'll be gentle." His friends high-fived him as they walked off. I stood there against the railing. I had to find some way to get back at that jerk….
We'll be right back to Degrassi after this commercial break!
*Eli and Adam are sitting on a ski lift*
ADAM: Hey Eli, do you mind if I ask your sister out?
*begins to text Jillian on his phone*
ELI: *smirks* Whatever, man, go for it. But I don't think she'd go for you-
*ping*
ADAM: *smiles* She says she'd love to!
*ping*
ADAM: She can't wait!
*ping*
ADAM: She's wanted me to ask her out ever since she got to Degrassi! *playfully nudges Eli's shoulder*
*ping*
ADAM: Oh! And she just sent me this video.
JILLIAN: *on phone* Heyy Adam! Can't wait to see you tonight…..
ELI: Can I see that?
ADAM: Yeah ok…. *hands Eli his phone*
ELI: *chucks it off ski lift*
IN THE NETWORK, SPARKS FLY FASTER WITH AT&T!
(I do not own AT&T, or this commercial. I just replaced the characters with Eli, Adam, and Jillian…but I own Jillian! :P hahahahha!)
We're back to Degrassi! :P Hahahhahaha!
Jillian had beaten me home, and her car was once again parked horizontally in the drive way, making my way in impossible. I sighed as I once again parked Morty on the street. However, I did not have any room right now to be mad at Jillian, because I was already fuming over what Fitz did.
But don't you worry. When we have sex, I'll be gentle.
That disgusting phrase repeated itself in my head over and over again, as I stormed inside the house and up the stairs. I went to my room door and unlocked the lock on my door. I threw the lock down the hall and I trudged into my room, throwing my bag on my bed. I heard Jillian in her room. She was already getting ready for Vegas Night, which she will luckily have a date to. I sighed and walked down the hall to Jillian's room. I pushed open the door and walked inside, regardless of the fact that Jillian was standing there, wearing nothing but her lacey black bra and panties.
"Eli!" she shrieked, covering herself up with her hands. I simply just smirked and plopped myself down on her bed. She groaned, "You know, there's this new thing. It's called KNOCKING!"
"Whatever…." I sighed and threw my head back on her fluffy pink pillow.
"What are you so mopey about?" Jillian probed, wrapping a blanket around herself.
I groaned, "Clare is going to Vegas Night with Fitz."
"Wait…..what?"
"He threatened Clare that he would hurt me if she didn't go with him. So….she's going with him."
Jillian had a disgusted look on her face, "And you let her go with him?"
"It's only one night. I won't mean anything." I both attempted to reassure Jillian and myself, "Then after this, maybe Clare and I can go on a real date." I shook my head, "But I'm just so mad at Fitz! He's going with Clare tonight…..and there's nothing I can do about it."
Jillian raised an eyebrow suggestively, "Maybe there is something you can do."
I sat up, "Keep talking….."
"Wait…" Jillian hopped over the side of the bed and over to her drawer. She opened it and fumbled through it, until she came across a tiny white bottle. "Ah ha! Here it is!" She closed the drawer and sat on the bed next to me.
"This is ipecac." She rolled the tiny bottle between her delicate little fingers, "It makes you throw up."
"Where did you get that?"
"Remember when I went through that bulimic phase in middle school?" She explained. Who could forget? I remembered when mom and dad got a call from Chives one night, saying that they were concerned about Jillian and that they thought that she might be trying to make herself throw up. I remember them having to drive out to her school to speak with the school psychologist about dealing with the problem. When Jillian would come home to visit on holidays, we would all eat dinner together. Jillian would excuse herself to the bathroom and she would stay in there for a really long time. I would then excuse myself and walk up to the bathroom door. I would press my ear against the door and hear Jillian barfing.
"Oh yeah, I remember."
"This is what I used to use to make myself throw up." She told me. "The finger in the back of the throat thing never worked, since I don't have a sensitive gag-reflex. But in a way, that's been a good thing too…." She smirked.
"Ok, gross." She rolled her eyes. "So what am I supposed to do with this?"
"Give this to Clare," she said dropping it in my hand, "and tell her to slip it into Fitz's drink when he isn't looking."
I stared at her in disbelief, "You want me to poison Fitz?"
"Eli, he deserves it! He threatened Clare so she would go with him to the dance! That's like…..date rape, sorta."
I shook my head, handing the bottle back to her, "This is not a good idea, Jill."
"Fitz is a jerk!" she protested, "And we do not let jerks get away with…being jerks." I sighed, staring at the bottle in her hands, contemplating what to do.
"Come on," she urged, "he has it coming anyway. We might as well be the ones to give it to him."
"Jillian, I can't-"
"He hurt you! He hurt Adam, he tried to hurt me, and tonight he's probably gonna try to hurt Clare. And you know that deep down you really wanna do this." She gave me a sly smile on the last sentence. "He's only getting what he deserves. Come on, Eli. Do it.
Aside from the horrific thought of Fitz hurting my precious Clare, it was something about the last two words that Jillian said that really pushed me over the edge. Maybe it was the tone. Maybe it was the forcefulness. Either way, the next thing I knew, I was reaching out for the little bottle of ipecac, which Jillian plopped in my hand.
"I'll be back ASAP." I said grabbing my keys to Morty from my pocket.
I got into Morty and drove over to Alli's house, where Clare was getting ready with Jenna and Alli. I walked up to the door and rang the bell. Jenna opened the door. She was wearing a blue dress with a huge feather boa, that I was guessing that she wore to try to conceal her baby bump. Needless to say, she looked a bit like Mother Goose.
"And….speak of the devil." She stated, giving me a surprised look.
So, they had been talking about me. *mental smirk*
I stepped in and saw Clare sitting at a vanity. She had a big red rose sticking out of her auburn curls and she wore a knee-length polka-dot dress with black leggings and ballet flats. I could see that she was trying to cover up as much as possible, trying to get the message across to Fitz that nothing was gonna happen between them. It made me a little bit more relieved, knowing that she was being cautious around Fitz.
"Hey Clare, can I talk to you outside?" I hid the tiny bottle behind my back.
"Uh, yeah." She got up and looked over at Alli and Jenna, "Be right back."
I took her outside in front of Morty and held up the bottle.
"It's ipecac." I explained, "It makes people barf."
Clare gave me a shocked look, "Where did you get that?"
"Long story. Anyway, I want you to slip this into Fitz's drink tonight."
Clare crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow, "What happened to being the bigger man?"
I shook my head, "I can't…not anymore."
Clare scrutinized the bottle, "And…Jillian wouldn't have anything to do with this, right?"
"Why do you ask?"
Clare took the bottle and turned it over in my hand, revealing big black letters that said "JYLIUN" across the bottom of it.
I rolled my eyes, "Ok, so Jillian gave me the bottle of ipecac. What difference does it make?"
"You're following directions from a girl who can't even spell her own name right."
I narrowed my eyes at her, "What are you trying to say…..that my sister is some airheaded screw-up?"
"Sometimes." Clare replied bluntly.
My jaw dropped slightly and I glared at her. Clare bit her lip, "Ok, I didn't mean it like that. But after what I've been hearing about what happened between Fitz and Jillian yesterday…Eli, Fitz could have really hurt Jillian, or Jillian could have hurt Fitz a lot worse and gotten in big trouble. I know she's your sister and all but…"
"Clare, Fitz is a bad guy." I interrupted. Then I sighed, "He wants to have sex with you."
"Sure, so the appropriate response would be to poison him!" She scoffed.
"I told you! The only way to handle a bully is to keep him scared!"
"And who taught you that, Jillian?" she said sarcastically.
"Who's side are you on?"
She narrowed her eyes, "I'm not sure…but I know it's not the side that poisons people." With that she crossed her arms and walked back inside Alli's house. I angrily flung open the door to Morty and threw myself down into the seat, slamming the door behind me. I couldn't believe that Clare was actually siding with Fitz. I was starting to wonder if she forgot all the things he did to me and Adam. He broke my car, he almost beat up Adam, and he slapped my sister across the face! And I don't think she remembers that the only reason she's going with Fitz is because he threatened to hurt me!
I fumed the whole way home. I parked Morty outside my house and slammed the door shut. I stomped up the steps to my porch and stormed inside, flinging the door shut behind me. Jillian heard me come in and rushed to the top of the stairs.
"Eli? Is that you?" I walked up the stairs. "Oh, good, I thought you were John. I told him not to come until 6:30 because I'm sooo not gonna be ready until then. "
I bit my lip in fury.
"Are you ok, Eli?"
I pounded my fist against the wall, "Clare is so naïve! She's angrier at me for trying to poison Fitz, than at Fitz for…being an asshole!"
"Well then," she said taking the ipecac in her hand that wasn't holding a curling iron to her head, "I guess it's up to us."
I nodded, looking at her, and then my jaw dropped when I saw what she was wearing. She had on that tight little shiny black dress, which looked like it was made out of garbage bag material. My eyes widened as I saw how little it covered. The hem of her dress ended right at the top of her thigh, where it tightly clung. The top of her dress was down so low, that I could see her full cleavage.
She raised an eyebrow at me, "What?"
"Please tell me that's just a slip you're wearing."
Jillian laughed, "No, this is the dress I'm wearing to Vegas Night. Why?"
I just stood there and stared at her.
"Ok, can you stop staring at me like that? It's creeping me out."
"J-Jill, you're gonna get in trouble for that dress. You look like a-"
Jillian gave me a threatening glare.
"Never mind."
Jillian and I spent another hour getting ready. I quickly showered, combed my hair, dried it, and then threw on my lucky red suit with a pair of black skinny jeans. I sprayed some cologne on and made sure I had my cell phone and my keys. Jillian finally finished doing her hair and was standing at the bathroom mirror adding the finishing touches to her makeup. She had a swipe of glitter on each cheek and a lot on her eyes and a little bit in her hair. She wore her black, stiletto booties, with the silver chains hanging from them. She also had on thin, silver hoop earrings.
"Hey Jillian, the whore house just called. They want their outfit back." I smirked as I pulled my eyeliner pencil out from the tiny drawer under the sink and carefully began to rim it around my eyes.
Jillian finished putting on her dark red lipstick and smacked her lips together. She looked over at me while spraying on some perfume, "I've been wearing this dress since 8th grade."
"When it fit you." I pointed out. Jillian looked at me a bit offended.
"Not like that! You're still thin, but you're taller now. Ergo, the dress is shorter. Much….much shorter."
"Ok, so who's fat? Me or this ergo person?"
When she said that, I could have sworn I heard the air-go out of her head. I shook my head, "N-Never mind."
Jillian picked up a black ribbon choker, with a scarlet "J" hanging from it, off of the counter.
"Help me put this on?" she asked.
"Uh, sure." I mumbled taking the necklace from her. I turned her around, moving her hair away from her shoulder, and placed the choker around her neck, snapping it closed in the back.
"There, all done."
Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Jillian quickly fixed her hair and checked to see that her makeup was perfect.
"Is that John?"
"No, it's the pizza guy." Jillian said sarcastically, "Yes! It's John!" She turned to me, "How do I look?"
"Cheap." I replied with a smirk.
"Whateves." Before she ran out of the bathroom, she turned to face me once more, "And by the way, easy on the liner. You're looking a bit trampy."
"You're the one to talk!"
Jillian ran down stairs to answer the door.
I peeked over the side of the stairs as she opened the door.
"J-babe!" said a familiar blond boy, taking her in his arms.
"Heyy John!"
John pulled away to look at Jillian, "Wow, you look great."
"Thanks! You too." She said ruffling his hair.
"Where's Eli?"
"He's still upstairs getting ready."
I walked downstairs, "Hey John."
"Eli! Hey dude! Pound it!" he offered me his fist. I unenthusiastically bumped it with mine. John wore skinny, black faded jeans with a dark blue button down shirt that had the sleeves rolled up, and a thin, black tie that hung from his neck.
"So, you guys ready to go?" I asked opening the door.
"Um, actually mayn, I gotta piss."
"Yeah, and I wanna grab a drink before we go." Jillian added, "You can go ahead and we'll follow you in our car."
"Alright, see you guys there." I walked out on the porch and held my keys in the air. I pressed the unlock button and Morty's lights blinked.
"Whoah! Sweet ride, dude!" John commented.
"Thanks," I said, "Morty is fun to drive."
"Whoah, dude, you named your car?"
I chuckled, "Yeah."
Everyone always asked that same question. Was it so weird to name your car? I always thought that calling it Morty would be a lot more fun than just referring to it as the hearse. I certainly know it's a lot easier for Jillian to catch on to.
"This is Eli." She said one time, introducing me to one of her friends, "He drives a horse."
"Actually, Jillian, it's called a hearse." I smirked.
"Ah, got it!" she said giving me a thumbs up.
(Two days later)
"Hey, Eli, what does your horse eat?"
I rolled my eyes, "Again, Jillian, it's a HEARSE, not a HORSE."
"Oh, ok!"
(Two days later)
"Eli, I'm just wondering," she said holding up a carrot, "if I feed this carrot to your horse, will it bite me?"
"It will not bite you, Jillian," I said, trying to hide the annoyed tone in my voice, "and it doesn't eat carrots, BECAUSE IT'S A CAR!"
Jillian raised an eyebrow at me, "They why do they call it a horse?"
I smacked my forehead with my hand and shook my head.
John grinned, "That's a totally awesome name!" He then took a closer look at Morty, "Oh, do you drive one of those horse things?"
"I guess." I said through gritted teeth.
I walked out to Morty and hopped inside. Before I left, I made sure I had everything.
Car keys, cellphone, money…
I slowly reached into my jeans pocket and pulled out a tiny white bottle.
And of course…this.
I drove off and headed towards the school. This was going to be a night that none of us would ever forget.
Heyy guys! So what do you think? Do you like it so far? What do you think of John? Any other suggestions? Plz Plz Plz review! :D
Also, I realized that I never added a disclaimer to this story! I do not own Degrassi, or Eli (sadly) or Adam, Clare, Fitz, Bianca, etc. I DO own Jillian, John, and "Chives". :P