A/N: I apologize profusely for being so darn late, but I had no idea my chapter ten was still in the documents section. Not to mention I accidentally deleted my chapter eleven! cries. I am also trying to juggle both my schoolwork and my competition training. I'm glad that there are two new reviewers, enjoy the story eh. This is such an emotional chapter, but I copied most of Gaara's phrases from the show, so as to keep it in character. Sorry once again!
LesMiserables: Thank you!! I feel honoured.
Evilfangirl: Hope you love this story too, and catch up soon! Nice nick btw.
Hurting
Seki stumbled over to her bed, collapsing on the warm covers and wrapping herself with them.
As if I were so pitiful, Gaara is really the more unfortunate one! Seki thought furiously as she buried her head into her pillow.
Never saw it coming, eh Ki-chan?
No, not one bit.
Seki opened her eyes slowly and let her gaze travel towards the open window. Seki admired the cold, yet beautiful scenery before her, the half moon placed against a black background with a few twinkling stars.
Could you, give me time?
Seki smiled softly, her soft red eyes lowering as she felt her fingers.
-
...Several hours ago...
"Seki, I want to tell you..."
Seki turned towards the pair of ocean eyes, feeling herself getting sucked into them. Gaara hesitated, and Seki had a feeling he wasn't used to taking the initiative
"Why are you a demon, Gaara?"
Gaara smiled gratefully inside and took a deep breath, before he started to explained.
"I took the life of a woman who was called my okaasan when I was born in order to become the ultimate ninja. My otousan used a ninja technique to bind an incarnate of sand to me. I was a bakemono at birth."
"Incarnate of sand?"
"It is called Shukaku, and it was sealed in a teakettle. It is a living soul of an elder priest from the Hidden Village of Sand."
Seki's eyes grew big, and shock replaced the absent fear. "Shu-Shukaku? Isn't that the ichibi?"
As Gaara nodded stiffly, thoughts raced around in Seki's mind.
It's like from the stories okaasan told me. They were true after all!
She wanted you to feel better about yourself, eh Ki-chan?
Hai... But I never did believe her.
"I was created to become the village's masterpiece, and as Kazekage's son, my father taught me the secrets of ninja techniques," Seki noted the bitterness in his voice. "I grew up after being overprotected, spoiled and left alone."
"You didn't have anyone to love you?"
A grim chuckle came from Gaara, and made Seki's hair stand on end.
"I thought that was love, until that day."
"What da..."
"Do you remember the first night you arrived, when I told you about people who wanted to..."
"...kill you? How could I forget?" Seki grinned. "People wanted to assassinate you."
Gaara nodded slightly. "These past six years, starting from when I was six, my father tried to assassinate me numerous times," the grin slid off Seki's face. "Since I was born from the usage of a technique, my mind was unstable. The people finally noticed that my emotions were unpredictable. As a result, after I turned six, they classified me as a dangerous being. I was the village's dangerous tool, but to Kazekage, I was also the village's trump card."
"I needed a reason, why I was still alive. Why I existed, or it would be the same as me being dead."
A reason, to live. Seki knew what it felt like, when she was constantly thrown out of the towns she stayed in, she wanted to know why she lived.
"And this is what I concluded. I exist to kill everyone other than me."
"Na-Nani?!"
"I finally found relief inside the fear of being assassinated at any time. By killing the assassins, I was able to recognize my reason to live. As long as there are people to kill in this world, to make me experience the joy of living, my existence will remain."
"What shit is that!?"
Gaara turned in surprise, to see Seki on her feet, anger raging within her ruby pupils. He frowned. "I told you before, that night when you fainted."
"Yeah, but who's to say I was too tired to realize it was true? Kami-sama, 'experience the joy of living'? You can't do that if you kill people!"
"I have no other reason."
"Yes, you do! You have Temari, and Kankurou! You have my uncle, you have me!"
Silence enveloped their surroundings, as Seki realized what she just said. Gaara seemed to be absorbing it slowly, but he was unsure how to express it. Seki looked around, trying to find words to convince the red head that
his life was not that, that worthless.
"You're a shinobi! A shinobi is supposed to serve his country, and help mankind!"
"Why do I want to help the people who hate and scorn me?"
"Not everyone is like that, I don't hate you."
"And why not?"
"Because I'm the same as you!" Seki yelled out. Gaara, although knowing the girl in front of him had suffered like him, could not understand how she was similar to the likes of him.
She loved and had been loved before. She had a proper family, a life. He had been through this since he was born. She wasn't the same. They weren't the same.
"We aren't the same. You can't understand..."
"Loneliness? Helplessness? Wanting to be loved, regardless? It doesn't matter if I experienced it a lot less than you did, Gaara. I know what goes on inside your heart and you do not need to let hate run your life!"
Do you know what it is like, to have something and then having it ripped away because of you? Do you!?"
"Yes," Gaara answered quietly, his face nearly completely shadowed as his tone lowered to a dangerous level. Memories of a familiar looking uncle emerged from within the deepest corner of his mind and his fury was slowly building up. However, Seki ignored the sand seeping into her sandals, because all she was focusing on right now, was getting through Gaara's thick head.
"Then both of us are the same. You know why?"
Gaara raised his head. Teal versus red.
"Because we're hurting."
"..."
Seki whipped out a kunai and created a small cut on her finger, unknowingly relieving memories from deep inside Gaara's heart.
"We hurt from flesh wounds, but right now this blood is coming from my heart. We're both hurting, Gaara, because we have a wound in our heart."
Flesh wounds bleed...
...But the tricky wounds are the ones in your heart.
"There is only one way to cure it, but we have to open our heart first, and accept the cure."
The thing that can heal a wound of the heart is Love.
"If you don't accept it, you won't receive it, and you'll be hurting forever."
Gaara watched as Seki's face changed to Yashamaru and back again. It seemed like they were speaking the same thing, yet it was different. The brown haired girl saw no change of expression and lowered her head while clenching her fists.
"Could you, give me time?"
Seki's head snapped up. She calmed down and let her fingers relax as a smile grew on her face. Nodding, Seki kept her kunai and walked to the other end of the roof top.
"Gaara," Gaara's eyes followed the source of the voice. "Even if I could feel fear, I wouldn't be afraid of the Shukaku."
Seki turned her head to look back at the red head. Confusion filled his eyes.
"Because you're there."
Gaara felt a jolt in his chest as the teenager before him disappeared in a flash.
-
The cut on her finger had already healed, and formed a little bump. Seki brushed her thumb over it, feeling the pain as she did.
But it was nothing compared to the pain that haunted her and Gaara.
Nothing at all.
-
A/N: My apologies once again for being so overdue. I don't really have the strength to rewrite chapter 11, which is pretty long as it explains some of Gaara's past. I'm sorry, but I will try if everyone still likes the story. Sorry, again. -JE