All Alone In The Universe.

"Do I look stupid?" Naminé called out from her closet.

"How can I make an educated answer when you won't let me see you?" I rolled my eyes. I was sitting on the edge of her bed with my head in my hands. It was Friday night and I felt like the world's loneliest guy. I have never felt this lonely in my entire life before, and yet there was this beautiful girl studying herself in a full-length mirror inside of her walk-in closet just a few metres away from me.

She was just a few too many metres away for me to reach out to her, to wrap my arms around her and claim her as my own. She was so close, yet not.

"Okay, okay," She huffed, "I'm coming out. Geez." She scrambled out of her closet, dressed in a simple lavender knee-length strapless dress with matching heels. She twirled around for me and grinned. "So? Do I look stupid or what?"

I stood up and shook my head. "No," I approached her slowly, "You look…" Gorgeous. Stunning. Sublime. Radiant. "Great." I pressed my hands down on her small shoulders and smiled softly. "He'll be impressed for sure."

Naminé blinked up at me with those silvery blue eyes of hers. "Do you really think so?" She asked hopefully, and my heart wrung at how adorable she was.

"Yes," I stretched my smile out a bit more, "I'm pretty sure he will." I moved one of my hands to her back and gently pushed her out of her room. "C'mon, he should be coming any minute. Bring a jacket - it's cold out." I helped her down the stairs - she admitted that even though she wore heels to work all the time she was dreadfully clumsy; I didn't see how that was true in the couple months that we've known each other - and rifled through the closet for something warm for her to wear.

"You're so good to me," She smiled as I helped her into her jacket, "I don't deserve you, Roxas."

"Stop being so overdramatic," I chuckled, "It's not like you're going off to war or anything."

She pushed the tips of her index fingers together and stared at the floor. "It feels like I'm being sentenced to death, really."

"C'mon Naminé, you've been on a bunch of dates before. How's this one gonna be any different?"

"This guy actually seems interested in me," She replied shyly, "I mean really interested. That and I've never really met someone who's liked art as much as I do before." She groaned, clutched her head in her hands and squeezed her eyes shut. "I hope I don't screw this up. I really think this can go somewhere."

I forced the lump that had formed in my throat. "I'm pretty sure you won't mess anything up. Just be yourself, and don't be so nervous. It's just a date."

"You say that as if it's nothing." She huffed.

I shrugged and pushed my hands into my pockets. "They're really nothing until someone makes the first move." I unlocked the front door. "Anyway, I should be going. I hope everything goes well tonight."

She wrapped her skinny arms around me and thrust her head underneath my chin, nuzzling her head against my shoulder. "I'll call you right when I get home."

"You really don't have to-"

"Yes I do - I need to tell you what happened."

"What am I, your BFF?"

"Yes. I thought you knew that." She pulled away a little to peer up with me with those eyes...dammit, those eyes get me every single fricking time.

"It just seems a bit girly for you to call me to tell me what happened after your first date with your crush." I smirked, and I wanted to laugh when she flushed red.

"Well it's not like I have anyone else to talk to." She muttered stubbornly.

I hesitantly unwound myself from her and ruffled the back of my hair. "It just seems strange for you to be treating me like a sibling, or something."

She grinned. "Get used to it, sister." She opened the door for me. "Expect a call tonight, okay?"

I sighed. "Fine. I'll see you later, then." Right when she closed the door on me I felt like screaming at the sky and tearing my hair out.

She sees me as a sister.

A sister. What the hell?!

A brother would've been somewhat less painful...but sister? I think my manhood has just been insulted.

It was just a joke, I told myself in a vain attempt to calm down, stop being stupid. Stop overreacting. You're just edgy because she's going out with a guy who's at least a thousand times cooler than you are.

I hate my life.

As I crawled into my car my phone rang. I rolled my eyes at the call display. "What is it, Axel?"

"Did you leave yet?"

"I'm just leaving now," I muttered as I started the engine, "Look, I understand you want to help me but this is going too far."

I could hear Demyx and Larxene talking in the background. It sounded like they were in a car. "What are you talking about? We're just gonna do a little bit of spyin', that's all."

"Yes, Axel - that's classified as going too far." I rolled my eyes again.

"Y'know, even if you don't approve we're still gonna do it. We're already parked at the restaurant anyway - and Larxene loves the food here so we'd be eating regardless."

"You're ridiculous. All of you."

I could practically hear him grinning. "That's what friends are for. I'll update ya when the date starts! Bye now." Axel cancelled the call, and I shook my head as I shoved my phone back into my pocket.

I knew I was going to regret calling him...

I really didn't want to hear how her date was going. I didn't want to hear how their chemistry was practically exploding and how she looked so animated when she was talking to him. I didn't want to hear how compatible they were and how she hardly touched her food because she was too engrossed in their conversation.

I was supposed to be the one she was engrossed in. Our chemistry should've been exploding. She should've been animated when she was talking to me.

I was dreading Naminé's call. When I arrived home not long after Axel hung up I trudged to my room, pulled my shirt over my head and collapsed face-first onto my bed. I sighed into the mattress and closed my eyes in a feeble attempt to shut out my depressing thoughts.

I couldn't stop envisioning the fancy restaurant that Riku guy took my Naminé to: I pictured a candlelit dinner with crystal glasses filled with wine and hors d'oeuvres lined up on small china plates. I could hear a string quartet playing music in the background and I could see a kind French waiter dressed in a tuxedo ordering their food with a small notepad. I could practically smell the three-course gourmet food concealed underneath silver covers. I could hear Naminé laughing. I could see her smiling and giggling shyly behind one hand.

I tried picturing Riku. He was an artist, so the first thing that came to mind were artist-related stereotypes: a skinny build only a vegan appetite could accomplish; tight black pants, fitting black turtleneck sweater and a matching black beret; a cigarette in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other…

Wait a minute - what decade was I in, the sixties?

Naminé is not infatuated with a beatnik. She wasn't into those kinds of guys...was she?

My phone rang, and I jerked in surprise. I pulled my phone out of my jeans and sighed with relief when Axel's name blinked on the call display - wait...Axel…

"What?" I hissed; I could hear silverware scraping and clanging against dishes.

"We managed to get a table not so far away from theirs," My best friend reported in a business-like tone, "They seem to be hittin' it off, Roxas."

"I don't need to know." I groaned.

"Wait, wait - you still have a chance, man. Don't worry - maybe they'll have so much in common they'll realize the farthest they can go is the best friend stage, or something."

"I'm her best friend, Axel."

"Well, maybe she'll realize that Riku's more suited for the best friend role and you're meant to be!"

I rubbed my face tiredly. "I highly doubt that will happen."

"You just have to be positive - hey, what the hell! Demyx, that was my calamari!" There were a few shouts of protest and the sound of eating utensils clanking together. I waited patiently, and then someone picked up the phone - it was Larxene.

"Look, I know how you have the hots for this girl and everything," She quipped, "And I understand that you want nothing more than to bone her-"

"I don't want to do that!" I snapped, "Why does everything have to lead to sex with you guys?!"

There was more struggling, and a "Hey!" provided by Larxene. "Because when it comes to the bottom of everything," Axel had gotten his phone back, "Sex is always there."

I rolled my eyes. "No it isn't."

"Roxas, I don't wanna argue with you - the more we argue the more time we're wasting." Axel paused for a minute, probably to shovel some food into his mouth. "Oh, she's laughing."

"That's great," I muttered, "Can I hang up now? Ugh, I don't even know why I bothered answering this call-"

"I know it hurts to hear she's happy without you, but don't worry - pretty soon things will turn around. I got a plan, remember?"

"No you don't," I retorted, "When I called you the other day all you said was you were planning to break them apart."

"Which is my plan, obviously."

"It's not a plan if you don't have a clue how to get to that point." I muttered.

"Don't worry, little buddy - I've got it all planned in my head," Axel chuckled, "Anyway, I'll call ya back if anything comes up. Have fun moping around by yourself!"

I tossed my phone aside and rolled onto my stomach, throwing an arm over my eyes and shaking my head. Everything was going so well.

Why didn't I tell her how I felt when I had the chance? Why did I have to be stupid and stubborn? Why did I have to be in denial?

All this thinking wore me out; I knew it was still early but I was just too exhausted to do anything else - it wasn't like I had plans to do anything else anyway. I stripped down to my boxers and pulled the sheets over me. I made sure the volume on my phone was set on high so that it would wake me up. The minute my head hit the pillow I fell asleep, dreaming sad dreams.

My phone eventually did ring, like I expected it to; when I glanced at the time I noticed it was just a little past midnight. Naminé and Riku were out for that long?

"H-hello?" I muttered groggily, rubbing my eyes with my knuckles.

"Did I wake you up?" Naminé whispered worriedly.

"Yes you did, actually."

"I'm sorry," She mumbled, "Maybe I should-"

"No, no," I sat up and ruffled my hair, "It's okay. You said you were going to call me anyway." I paused for a minute. "So...how did it go?"

Her tone lightened up considerably, and my chest ached. "Oh, Roxas - it was wonderful! Dinner was great; that French place I told you about - it has the greatest food, and while we were there he talked about his experiences. He traveled the world, Roxas! He got to see art from all over the place!"

"That sounds awesome." I tried to sound enthusiastic for her; maybe she would mistaken my dullness as fatigue.

"And afterward we just walked around the city, and he brought me to this park that had an incredible view - I really need to take you there sometime - and he said he always comes there whenever he needs time to himself and such."

Yep, he was definitely an artiste.

"What else did you do?"

"Nothing much, really - we just talked, but it wasn't like it was boring or anything. It's so easy to talk to him, y'know? I felt like I could tell him everything, and - oh, Roxas, it was just so great. He was so great. We just talked and talked, and before we knew it it was midnight!"

"Er, did you guys talk about anything else?"

She hesitated for a moment. "Well...I told him about you."

My stomach flipped at least three times. "W-what? Why? Were you running out of things to talk about?" I chuckled nervously.

"No, no - I just felt like I had to tell him about you. I told him you were my first friend when I moved here, and how you're the only one I feel comfortable with."

I gulped. "Er, wouldn't that be giving him the wrong impression?"

"He said he understands," Naminé replied casually, "There are just some things only best friends can share with each other. In some ways friendship runs deeper than the love between two people."

I felt like hanging up now, but I kept myself in place. "Well, you know I'll always be there for you, Naminé. He seems like a pretty good guy."

"He is," She sighed dreamily, "He's so cool. And you know what?"

"What?"

"We're going out again tomorrow and next Friday, and the day afterward he's gonna take me on a tour around the city to the different art galleries!" She squealed like a fifteen-year-old girl who was talking about her longtime crush, "You don't know how excited I am for tomorrow and next weekend!"

I sucked in a deep breath. "That sounds great, Naminé. This is a good sign."

"Are you okay?" She asked concernedly, "You don't sound so good, Roxas."

My eyes widened. "Er, it's probably 'cause you woke me up at some ungodly hour." I laughed a little at the end so I could sound a little more convincing.

"I'm sorry - I'm probably annoying you. I feel like I'm in high school all over again with this silly little crush." I could picture her staring dejectedly at the floor, and my heart ached.

"No, you're not annoying me. I'm happy to hear that your date went well - I already knew it was gonna be a success from the start, anyway." I sighed and rumpled the back of my hair. "Maybe you should get some sleep - it's been a long day for you."

She giggled. "I doubt I'll be able to sleep tonight, but I want you to get some sleep so I guess I should go. I'll see you Sunday, okay?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Sunday?"

"Brunch and babysitting! Don't tell me you've forgotten all about that!"

I laughed quietly. "Oh, right...I thought you wouldn't wanna do that anymore."

"Why wouldn't I?" She sounded hurt, "It's our tradition, remember? Just 'cause I like this guy doesn't mean I'm dedicating my entire life to him! You're important to me too, y'know - you had me first." I could hear the smile in her voice, and it made me smile too.

"I know. I guess I'll drop by your place Sunday morning, then."

"Mmhmm. I'll be waiting for you." She hung up, and I stared at my phone for a few minutes before setting it back on my nightstand.

"You had me first."

I wonder if that was a double entendre? I guess I could always hope.

I wanted her to be happy, and I truly was happy that her date went well but at the same time I wanted her to be happy because of me, and not because of some artsy fartsy Expressionist guy she randomly bumped into at an art show or whatever. I wanted her to see how much I loved her, and how stupid I was for not letting her know earlier. I was torn in between wanting to have her for my own and letting her go so she could be happy with someone else.

I hope I'm not developing bipolar.

I decided I needed someone to talk to about my complication, but I knew Axel wasn't the right person so when Saturday morning came along I picked up the phone and invited my brother over.

"So you're absolutely positive you're in love with her?" Sora asked the minute I opened the door for him; he was cradling a snoozing Koji in his arms.

"Why do you sound so surprised?" I asked warily as I let Kairi and Miyo inside.

"I'm pretty sure you know why," My brother chuckled as he gently placed his son on the couch in the TV room, "This is the first time I've ever heard you admit you liked somebody."

"And the one time he admits it the girl is in love with someone else." Kairi added wittingly, and I sighed.

"I know, I know - I have crappy timing." I ushered them into the kitchen and poured them some coffee. "But this has to mean something if I want her this much, doesn't it? I've never wanted somebody in my entire life before!"

"I'm pretty sure it does," My sister-in-law agreed, "I think something was meant to happen between the both of you."

I sipped from my mug. "How did you come to that conclusion?"

She shrugged. "There's just a closeness I can detect between the both of you - the way you act, even the way you move around each other - it's like there's some kind of invisible force bound in between the both of you. It's strange...and if I add, a little romantic."

Sora rolled his eyes and leaned into his palm. "You read too many cheesy books."

His redheaded wife glared at him. "It's better than sweating all Sunday afternoon with Riku."

My head raised up, like a hunting dog who just heard its prey move. "Riku?"

My brother raised an eyebrow. "Have you heard of this guy before?"

I nodded. "He's...he's the guy Naminé…"

Kairi's eyes widened. "Oh my."

Sora scratched the side of his head. "Are you sure we're talking about the same Riku? I've known this guy since college."

"What did he major in?"

"Uh...something to do with art, I think-"

"Art History?" I asked warily, and when Sora nodded I groaned. "Yeah, that's definitely him."

"Wait, wait," Sora shook his head, "That could be just mere coincidence; both Rikus could've just taken Art History in college."

"I doubt it," I muttered, "Does he work as an artist?" Sora nodded, and I paled. "And he has his own-"

"Art gallery." Sora and Kairi finished for me, and I groaned again. I felt my brother's hand comfortingly rubbing my shoulder. "Wow, what a small world."

I buried my face in my arms. "So you hang out with him every Sunday?"

"Yeah - while Kairi's doing her own thing I'm playing soccer with Riku. That's why we leave the kids with you on Sundays - it's the only day of the week Riku and I have to spend together. We're pretty good friends."

"I don't know if this is a good or bad thing," Kairi frowned, "I like Riku; he's a really nice guy. Easy to get along with."

"A little on the moody side," Sora shrugged, "But then again a lot of artists are - at least the ones who are really into it."

I lifted my head briefly to roll my eyes at him. "Why didn't you tell me you were friends with this Riku guy since college? I've never seen him around in my life!"

"You never asked about him, and how was I supposed to know he was gonna end up stealing your girl?" My brother shook his head, "And as for the college thing he was always doing his own thing with his little art projects so he hardly had time to hang out, therefore I never had the time to introduce him to you."

"Great," I sighed, "What am I gonna do now?"

"Have you told Axel about it?" Kairi asked; Miyo and Koji could be heard stirring from the TV room and she excused herself to tend to them.

"I have, but he's been conjuring plans to break them up and I kind of don't want that to happen," I replied depressingly once she came back, "I mean...I want to be with Naminé more than anything but at the same time I want her to be happy too."

"Are you implying she isn't happy when you're together? 'Cause whenever I see you two you both look like you're having the times of your lives." My brother chuckled, and I flushed.

"Well, you know what I mean!" I shook my head and pressed my palms to my face. "He seems so perfect for her - how am I supposed to compete with him? They share the same interests and she had so much fun on their little date. She only sees me as a best friend; she already set up the roadblock."

"I think you mean you set up the roadblock," Sora smirked, "You were the one who said you weren't into relationships."

"That was when I denied the fact I loved her. Now I can openly admit that I love her, and I think that's what's making it hurt so much right now," I mumbled through my fingers, "Love...it's just a shot in the dark, isn't it? You don't know where you're aiming, you don't know what you'll hit and sometimes you end up being the target. It just happens outta nowhere and you have no idea what you're supposed to do."

I felt Kairi's hand on my arm. "But that's what makes it so wonderful, Roxas. You need to take chances if you want to make it work." When I peered at her through the spaces in between my fingers she gave me a sad smile. "It'll be okay; you just need to take things as they are. If you're really meant to be together it'll happen eventually - not all great things come to you at once."

Sometimes I wonder how such a smart woman like Kairi ended up with my dunce of a brother. "Thanks," I dropped my hands and tried to smile, "I...I think I'll do just that."

Sora rose from his chair and clapped me on the back. "That's the spirit, bro. Keep that chin up!"

I smirked. "I'll try."

"Anyway," My brother made his way over to the TV room, "We're heading over to the zoo this afternoon. Wanna tag along? It'll help take your mind off of things, at least."

I shook my head. "Thanks, but no thanks - I've got some stuff to sort out."

Kairi gave me one last grin as she gathered Miyo into her arms. "Remember to take things as they are,vRoxas."

I put on my best innocent expression. "I will, don't worry." I guided them to the door. "I'll see you guys tomorrow!" I hastily closed the door on them and sighed in relief when they were gone.

Kairi was right - if Naminé and I were really meant to be it would happen eventually, right? Fate will let the pieces fall into place when the time comes.

I was worrying too much. Naminé would come to her senses soon enough, and when that happens I'll swoop in and tell her everything - everything I was supposed to say before Riku came into the picture. Everything would sort itself out and we'll all be happy and perfect and wonderful.

Everything will be okay eventually.

Right?

--

A/N: Chapter Inspiration: Savage Garden's The Lover After Me.