Chapter Ten

Mixed Feelings

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The next morning, my impatience was growing as I waited for Lia to return from delivering my letter. When she finally came through the door after what felt like an eternity, I leapt off the nightstand onto her bed.

"What did she say? Did she like it? Did she write me back?" I asked anxiously.

Lia stared at me with an amused expression. "Wow, Philip. You need to calm down." She giggled, and the sound made my heart race instead of calm me down. I actually had to stop and take a deep breath to settle my nerves. What the heck was that all about?

I unsuccessfully tried to push this strange new feeling from my thoughts, and instead, tried to distract myself by again asking about Rosalyn's reaction to my letter.

"Well," she began. "I don't have anything written to give to you, but I'm sure she will write you soon. I even have reason to believe that she will write it herself, which is saying a lot, Philip."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean, she was practically gleaming, and her smile was the largest I've seen on her in a very long while. She also kept giggling and was way too effervescent. I was about ready to slap her, she was annoying me so much. What did you say in it, anyway? She wouldn't let me read one word. But that's how she is, really, so I shouldn't have been expecting anything different now…"

I heard her, but I wasn't exactly listening. Instead, I let my mind wander to the future when I would be human and living in my mother and father's castle as the King of our country with my beautiful queen by my side. Her honey brown hair flowing loosely down her back and soft, blue-green eyes gazing at me warmly as they did now. . . . As they did now? What?

I thought back to what I said and realized that I had just described Lia as the queen of my future. That can't be right. What was I thinking? Lia isn't even a princess, and I need Rosalyn – I mean, I want Rosalyn . . . don't I?

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and soon noticed that Lia was still staring at me with her smirk.

"Welcome back," she said teasingly. "It really is quite amusing watching you think about her."

"I wasn't thinking about her," I said absentmindedly, surprising not only myself, but Lia as well.

"Really?" she asked, generally curious. "Who or what were you thinking about with that silly expression upon your face?"

What do I say? I can't exactly tell her the truth. I don't even understand it myself.

"Uhh, nothing," I answered lamely.

She looked at me with an eyebrow raised. "Mm hmm, well do you suppose you can think about 'nothing' with your back turned? I need to make myself presentable for my meeting with Prince Leopold."

"But that's not for a couple hours," I said incredulously.

"Yes exactly, so I better get started now."

"What do you need two hours to get ready for?" She looked at me as though I were mad.

"You're joking right?" I shook my head. "It'll take a half hour to bathe, another half hour to dry and style my hair, and about three quarters to dress."

"I'm sorry, what? It will take you three quarters of an hour to dress? What ever for?"

"My dress requires a hoop," she answered as though this explained everything.

Well, it didn't.

"What the devil is a hoop?"

"A hoop skirt," she said, obviously thinking that I should know what it was. I gave her a look saying plainly that I still had no idea. She sighed.

"Growing up with many sisters, Philip, I'm surprised you don't know what a hoop skirt is."

"Right, because I made sure to be included in all of their conversations about their clothes and the latest styles," I answered with more than a little sarcasm.

"You don't have to get all snippy. The word could have passed by your ears when you were walking by them in conversation, and you might have been curious to know what it was and asked."

"Oh… I guess that's true. Sorry… So, what is it exactly?"

"It's a skirt worn under the gown to form its wide, bell-like shape."

"Oh. And this skirt takes a while to put on?"

"Well, not really. The extra time is mostly because it takes some practice to manage in. At least for me anyway, since I don't normally wear one. Anyway, I wish I could begin, but… I wonder what's keeping my water," she added more to herself.

As if in answer there was a knock on her door, and she let in three maids carrying a large bucket filled with hot water in each hand. They disappeared into her bathroom where I heard them filling up the tub, and then they left just as quickly as they entered.

I turned my back to her while she undressed, all the while noticing how much more difficult it was becoming to keep my eyes to the wall. I know that sounds horrible, but what do you expect? I'm a guy. It isn't like I would ever really look. I do at least possess some gentlemanlike qualities. At first, though, it was quite easy not to look, since I thought of no one but Rosalyn, but now, for some odd reason, not even the thought of the Princess could veer my mind.

When the sound of water splashing in the next room was heard, I finally relaxed a little. Actually, taking a little dip sounded pretty good. I climbed into the bowl of lukewarm water left just for me and soaked it in, feeling refreshed almost instantly. I guess I was more dehydrated than I thought. However, I couldn't really swim in the bowl, so, becoming bored within five minutes, I hopped out and went over to the window ledge to try and occupy myself.

After maybe twenty or so minutes, I finally heard her get out of the tub and then saw her stand beside me, dressed in a long, thick robe. We watched a couple of birds twitter to each other as they worked together in building their nest in the tree beside her window. I looked up at her as she smiled down at me, and then she gave me a look and twirled her finger in a circle, telling me to turn around. I faced the window, smiling. To myself, of course. Remember, I'm not sure if I can visibly smile. I was steadily growing bored of watching the 'glories of nature', and tried to think of something to start a conversation. My findings left me with a question that slipped by me earlier.

"Why are you wearing a gown, anyway? What I do know from growing up with my sisters is that gowns are usually worn to balls."

"Which is exactly where I'm wearing this one. The King is holding the ball to honor Prince Leopold's arrival and our engagement."

"I'll be in your pocket the entire time?" I'm having second thoughts about this. I wanted to be there for moral support, and to see if this Prince Leopold guy is good enough for her, but several hours in a pocket?

"Hold on," she replied. Her voice was so muffled that I barely understood her. I absentmindedly glanced behind me for a second in askance and I found her struggling with her gown that was stuck over her head. Her back was facing me, but that didn't stop the heat from rushing to my cheeks. It was bare, and the hoop skirt was made from a very thin fabric, showing a little more than was appropriate. I mean, I only really saw her undergarments, but still… I swallowed hard, unable to think clearly and just blankly stared through the window, not really seeing anything. What did I just ask her? Or did I tell her something?

At long last I heard a triumphant grunt and her normal voice again. "Of course you aren't going to be at the ball, Philip. I'm meeting Prince Leopold prior to, and then I'll take you back up here. I couldn't just leave you in my pocket; these balls usually last for hours… I don't even want to be in this dress for that long."

"Oh, okay good," I said still slightly dazed. "That sounds much better."

"Aw for crying out loud!" she exclaimed all of a sudden, snapping me out of my stupor. My reflexes and curiosity urged me to turn around, but after what happened a very few minutes ago – even though it was kind of an accident – I wouldn't allow my eyes to look. She trusted me, and I wanted to keep it that way.

"What's the matter?" I asked, feeling a little uneasy.

"Oh, I put my gown on before my corset," she explained in frustration.

A short laugh escaped from my lips as I rolled my eyes. Girls.

"That doesn't sound too bad."

"'Doesn't sound too bad'? This just set me back about ten or fifteen minutes!"

"What?" I said, utterly perplexed. "How is that?"

"Didn't you hear me struggling to put the gown on?"

Ah heh, I more than heard the struggle. My mouth suddenly became dry and I felt my stomach squirm as I briefly revisited the memory.

"Yeah," I rasped, then cleared my throat and feigned innocence. "Is that what you were doing? I was wondering."

"Well it takes even longer for me to take it off."

"Why isn't anyone helping you dress? I thought a girl couldn't get dressed on her own?"

"It can be done. I have been dressing myself since I was twelve, and I am pleased to say that I've nearly perfected it. The feeling of being dressed as though I was a life-sized doll was so completely irritating; I couldn't stand it. So, I watched my ladies-in-waiting most carefully to understand how everything was done and then taught myself."

"Hmm… well I don't think they would have put your dress on before your corset," I teased. "Really, I thought you perfected dressing yourself?" I imagined her expression (my back was still to her, mind you) and laughed at the look I was sure she was giving me.

"I meant putting on everything myself without help, and I usually don't have anyone distracting me while I dress, Philip," she retorted. I laughed again.

"It all sounds so strange to me, though. All my sisters love to be dressed," I replied, thinking back to my old life… you know, before I was a frog.

"How many siblings do you have, anyway?"

"Three sisters and two brothers."

"Wow."

"Yeah, I know."

"Why did your parents have so many? And especially three girls."

"Well, two of them are older than I am, so it's only common sense that my parents were trying for a boy."

"Well, then they had you to take over the throne. Why did they still try after you were born?"

"I'm unsure. . ." After the words left my mouth, I thought back to how my parents' love for my younger brothers in their few six years was more than they had ever shown me in my entire fifteen years of living with them. "Perhaps they wanted a better son," I said dejectedly.

I saw Lia stand next to me out of the corner of my eye and felt her warm, comforting hand on my back. My heart raced from the soft touch but didn't shake the empty feeling in my stomach. I don't think I've ever known love in my family, except for maybe my younger sister Antonia – the one with whom I was furious the day I turned into a frog because she woke me up and insisted I play with her – and I kept pushing her away. She adored me, following me everywhere she could, even if I specifically ordered her not to come. 'My personal shadow' is what I used to call her, and she always tried so hard to impress me. I wish now that I had paid her the attention she deserved.

"Philip?" Lia said softly. "It's time to go."

I turned around, my thoughts still on my sister. She'd be about thirteen now. Not quite old enough to come out yet – not according to my parents, anyway. She'll have to wait three more years. I wonder what she was up to now.

"You don't have to come if you don't feel up to it, Philip. I'll understand."

That made me focus on the matter at hand. Lia needed me now, and Antonia probably didn't even know I was still alive. Besides, I wanted to see this Prince Leopold character.

She picked me up, placed me in her pocket, and we made our way downstairs. When I felt bold enough to peek my head out, we were in a huge sitting room where I finally got to see the King and Queen. Rosalyn was there as well, looking beautiful in a light green ball gown.

The King was tall with dark auburn hair that was turning white at the roots but didn't detract from his looks or his rather large crown. His clothing was trimmed in deep purple and silver, which absolutely screamed that he was very wealthy. I guess if his crown didn't do the trick, he had his clothes to shout to everyone that he was royalty. He also sported a nicely trimmed mustache and goatee.

The Queen was every bit as lovely as her daughter with her long golden hair and bold green eyes. She wore a deep red gown that was trimmed in gold. Her own crown was a good deal smaller than the King's but it was much more elegant, I thought. She reminded me strongly of someone else, but I couldn't quite think of whom at the moment.

"Lilian, darling, you look absolutely beautiful," said the Queen. I looked around for whom she was talking to and realized that Lilian must be Lia's full name. I liked it. It fit her. "Don't you feel beautiful in such a nice dress and with your hair out of that braid?"

"Yes, but—"

"Then why don't you dress up more often? You could feel beautiful every day if you wanted."

What was she getting at? That a nice dress will make Lia feel better about herself? She didn't need a dress for that.

"Emma, dear, stop badgering the poor girl," the King cut in. "She'll wear what she wishes and still be beautiful." He turned to Lia and winked.

Hmm… I like him.

"You do look very pretty, Lia," Rosalyn added.

"Thank you, Rosalyn."

What? And she usually didn't? Was she more beautiful today than any other day? I didn't get it.

I looked up at her from my place in her pocket. Her honey brown hair hung down loosely to her lower back. It was curled at the ends and resembled a cascade of silk. Her blue-green eyes gleamed and sparkled while the light pink hue in her cheeks – there probably from embarrassment because of all the praises she was receiving – only added to her glow. The dress she wore was a dark gold, bringing out the brightness in her eyes and making her look like royalty herself.

I still didn't understand what they were talking about. Aside from her hair being down and the nice dress she wore, she looked the same to me as she always does. Why were they just now noticing her beauty? All because of a dress? I began to grow annoyed at their remarks and made it known by moving around in her pocket. She gently placed a hand on the pocket, making me stop almost instantly at her touch.

"I had better go," she said, apparently understanding that I didn't want to be there any longer. "Where do I meet him?"

"He'll be near the gardens," the Queen answered. "Good luck!"

'Good luck'? What was that supposed to mean? I asked Lia as soon as we were out of ear shot.

"She just meant that she hopes we connect, so I really wouldn't mind marrying him."

Oh. I guess that's okay then.

"What's gotten into you, Philip? I thought you would enjoy staring at Rosalyn, but I got the feeling that you wanted to leave."

"To tell you the truth, I was growing annoyed at what they were saying to you," I admitted.

"So you don't think I deserve their compliments?" she asked in a slightly cold tone I hadn't ever heard her use before.

"No. No, on the contrary. I think you deserve to be complimented much more than only when you put on a fancy dress."

"Aw, that's really sweet, Philip," she said, placing her hand over the pocket I was in and then gently squeezed. I figured it was her way of hugging me, since it'd probably be awkward and definitely weird to hug a frog – if you even could hug a frog – but the explosion in my stomach from the simple gesture sent my nerves in a hundred different directions.