"Oh, Derek," she said, taking a deep cleansing breath, and looking up to him lightly brushed away a lock of hair from his forehead. "I need you… I …do need you… so much," she murmured.

Derek gazed longingly into her eyes and with an urgency born of a deep fervent need, captured her lips. Her lips parted, allowing him access to her mouth as they shared an intimate mating dance reserved for lovers, finally, sealing a vow of everlasting promises.

"God… Mer…" he murmured in a low husky voice, "do you know how long I've waited to hear you say that…that you need me…that you'll let me in…that maybe you'll let me take care of you…"

Breathlessly, she teased him, "I think I've let you in…that kiss … was…."

"That… kiss," he said as he brought his lips to hers again, "held every hope and dream I've ever had for us…"

Overwhelmed by all the emotions, she lightened the mood a bit, "Derek, I've never done this before…the relationship bit…but you already know that… and those 100 steps we need to take…it wasn't meant as putting it off…I mean…we've already started…but we'll … we'll probably fall down along the way…" she paused briefly while reaching up to kiss him, "like we did today…but, Derek, if you help me… if we help each other…we can get up again…"

"Meredith, take a breath," he teased her as he held reached for her hand.

"I'm scared Derek, this is new … me… talking… very new."

"It's good…talking is good…I like this new talking…and rambling Meredith."

"It's a start, right? I mean… talking is scary Derek, but not talking is worse…and I couldn't… didn't want to stop talking…do you want to take those steps with me…do you think there's a chance for us? Because right now…I have hope in my heart," she giggled making his heart soar at the sound he hadn't heard in much too long, "I'm becoming as sappy as you… but I do ... I do have hope that we can work it out together."

Suddenly, feeling as though he was being watched, he raised his eyes looking outside his office window. He didn't see anyone, but a sense of trepidation filled him, as he remembered he had asked Rose to have dinner with him and now realized the urgency to explain this to Meredith before it was too late.

Dread was replaced with anger, anger at himself, as he acknowledged the undeniable certainty that he had made the worst mistake of his life. A mistake, he knew, he would live to regret beyond anything imaginable.

The dark haired nurse made her way towards Derek's office. Fortunately for Meredith and Derek she was detained by a couple of nurses, buying them a little more time. The women asked if she wanted to join them at Joe's, and she purposely allowed herself to become engaged in conversation and made them aware she was having diner with Dr. Shepherd.

Meredith felt the change come over him immediately, and saw the sadness that replaced the shimmering gaze of a few moments before. "Derek, what's wrong?"

"Meredith, I did something without thinking, and I'm not going to make excuses for my behavior, I can't, but I want you to understand that today, when we argued, and you walked away… I felt only hopelessness. Before this conversation, today meant I had lost the dreams I hoped you'd want to share with me but instead they were shattered by angry words, hurtful words spoken by both of us."

"You're scaring me…" she said, unable to disguise the doubts that were resurfacing, "what did you do… I mean how bad can it be, it's not like you asked her out on a date," she stated as she pulled slightly away to look into his eyes.

He felt it all crumbling down, wishing the earth could swallow him and he could avoid telling her the truth. A truth, he knew could destroy the delicate first steps taken in rebuilding the broken trust in their relationship.

Without warning a woman walked in to his office with a determined stride, and stopped short as if just realizing there were two people in the office.

"Derek, are you ready" she paused, "oh, I'm sorry, I thought this was the time we agreed to meet."

It was too late, he didn't even have to look at Meredith to know. It was too late.

One sentence. One sentence was all it took to change the course of his life.

"Derek…" she whispered confusion and incredulity filling the air as she looked deeply into his eyes for an explanation.

Reacting immediately, he reached out to touch her, but she pulled away. "I can explain."

"Nurse," she said dismissively and without turning around. Her voice was strong and precise, and barely recognizable even to her, but she continued, and would later question how she had been able to utter a single coherent word.

"Please give us a few minutes," she paused, emphasizing every word that followed, as she looked directly in Derek's eyes. "It won't take long, we're just about done."

Meredith Grey was giving her instructions and expected her to follow them. She wasn't quite sure how she felt about that, but, her goal was to go out with McDreamy, as he was affectionately known by female staff. She did not, however, hesitate to leave the office.

"Mer, please, let me explain."

"Close the door," she stated emphatically.

"Meredith," he continued to be interrupted by her angry voice.

"Close the damn door…," she yelled as he proceeded to do as she said.

"YOU….dare to speak to me of trust…" she countered, raw painful emotion evident in her words, the pain of betrayal reflected in her eyes."

"I tried to tell you… Meredith, I tried to tell you, but you interrupted me a couple of times."

"Are you joking," she stated anger rising in her voice, "you think this is about telling me? Do you think it would make a difference, if you had told me before she walked in?

Are you so completely out of touch, that you don't understand that it's not about you not telling me first. It's about you asking her out."

"I'm sorry. Please let me explain. I thought we were through, that it was over."

"So did I , but I thought we meant something to each other, I thought we were worth fighting for, and I stuck around to see you…talk to you, and try to work this out. I lived up to my promise to get ready. But you...you broke every promise to me, including the fact that you never show up."

"You knew Derek,"she said,"you knew last night and today, that you wanted to move on."

"No," he countered angrily, "I did not know that."

"Then why is she standing out there, waiting for you?"

She didn't think a heart could shatter more than once, and just when she though there was nothing left to break, the pain sliced through her all over again, as if the million shattered fragments had all been put back together except one shard of remaining glass, and that had been deliberately impaled into her beating heart causing unbearable pain, and shattering all over again.

Thanks so much for the reviews for the last two chapters. There's 5 reviews for the last one, so here's chapter 10, and to address some of your comments, this is definitely Mer/Der completely - no room for anyone else for either of them, but they do need to work to save their relationship and rebuild their trust in each other.