A/N: I'm extremely sorry for the long delay. This was what I was trying to avoid by having almost everything prewritten already. However, the one chapter I didn't already have (Chapter 10) gave me more trouble than I thought it would, and then I realized that I really didn't like the ending in Chapter 11, and that I had to fix that somehow. But now I'm done, and everything should go rather quickly. Thanks for your patience (and of course thanks for all those awesome reviews!)

Give Amarthame your thanks, too, she did some awesome beta work!

Chapter 9

Hikaru narrowed his eyes. What was Black trying to achieve with that hand? On the surface, it read like a good move to try and cut into White's territory along the left side. But beyond that? Black had neglected to completely secure its territory on the lower right, and it was fighting a losing battle on the upper half. Shouldn't Black worry more about that than about trying to gain even more territory?

Hikaru looked up, just to see his opponent smirk at him. He raised an eyebrow at that show of supreme confidence, but maybe… Was there something he had overlooked? Did Black see a path to victory?

His eyes fell back to the Goban, but he still didn't see what Cho-san was so happy about. Yes, the last hand was a good move, but not good enough - it was too weak to really make an impact on the game. Hikaru didn't even have to respond to it immediately. Now, if Black had played a line lower and one or two to the left, that would have been different. But 5-12?

Shaking his head slightly, he set a provocative stone smack-dab into one of Black's unsecured territories on the upper edge. If he played it well, it would gain him another eight to ten moku.

Black immediately moved to fortify its position up there, but within two more hands Hikaru broke through Black's outline and made sure that Black's territory up there was reduced by half. And, judging by Cho-san's expression, that wasn't something his opponent had expected.

Really, Hikaru almost had to snort. Compared to Arawaki-san, Japan's representative at this year's World AmateurGo Championshp and who was now in the middle of the pro-exams, Cho-san wasn't half as good. And Cho-san was a finalist for the All Japan Amateur Meijin? Hah, Hikaru's fight during the quarter finals this morning had been twice as interesting as this… farce of a title game. Now, that game against Meihyou-san would have been a good match for the finals! But since the seeding was random, Hikaru guessed that it was entirely possible that the finals were a lot less exciting than previous matches.

And Cho-san still hadn't made a move.

Reminding himself that it was considered impolite to show any annoyance in official matches, Hikaru kept his sigh to himself and tried not to tap his fingers impatiently. He deliberately ignored all the people standing around him and Cho-san and their game, because he hadn't yet gotten used being watched like that. This was his very first tournament, after all, and he was nervous. Or had been – this wasn't a game to get nervous about.

In the beginning, during the first few elimination rounds when there had been over a hundred participants, nobody had really watched anyone but the top contenders for the title. But the longer Hikaru had persevered in that tournament, the more of an audience he had gathered around the goban he played at. Part of the reason was the reduced number of players – every round, half of them got eliminated – but another part of it was the ease he had defeated his first few opponents with.

To be honest, he was quite glad that, in the beginning, nobody had watched his matches. Since he had played nothing but teaching games in the real world for more years than he cared to count, he had unconsciously fallen into that kind of mentality against his opponents. Thankfully, he had always realized it soon enough to keep anyone from catching on, but that had been… embarrassing. Not to mention that he would have mortally offended his opponents (at least, if someone had played shidou-go with him in an official tournament, Hikaru would have been mortally offended).

But as Hikaru had steadily advanced through the rounds, his audience had increased in numbers. At first, he had told himself that it was no different from all the guys at Heart of Stone who tended to crowd around the goban whenever Hikaru started to explain something. But the atmosphere had been too different. For one, the audience was eerily quiet, contrary to Kimihara and Osawa and everyone else throwing in questions and comments whenever they wanted to. For another, he could feel the incredible tension his audience emitted.

And, of course, those thrice-cursed game-clocks. His opponents repeatedly had to remind him during his first few matches that, after he had made a move, Hikaru should press the clock.

All in all, there had been so many unsettling new experiences that Hikaru had been thoroughly distracted. In the third round, he had almost lost to someone whose skill couldn't have been higher than a 1d or 2d at most. After that disaster, Hikaru had firmly reminded himself that it was about time he got his head back together. If he had continued in that fashion, he surely would have lost not soon afterwards.

By Round 5, he had almost regained his equilibrium, and he had finished the second day with a great game against an old man about his grandfather's age, who played a mean combination of 2-jumps and peeks to threaten territory everywhere he went. And by the time he had reached Round 6, the quarter finals this morning, he had become used enough to the new atmosphere that he had been able to unleash all his strength upon Meihyou-san, one of the favorite contenders for the title.

And now, in the finals, he felt relaxed enough to treat it like one of his online matches.

Alright, not quite. If his opponent had been better, Hikaru was sure he'd have felt the pressure. If it had been Meihyou-san playing Black, Hikaru was sure he'd have been unsettled by those superior smirks and gestures. But Cho-san lacked both Meihyou-san's skills and his aura. Cho-san just didn't have enough of a presence to force Hikaru to play him with all he had.

Finally, ten hands later, Cho-san resigned and they bowed to each other. "Thank you for the game."

Exhausted from a long day of games, Hikaru rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck. "Do you mind if we discuss it later? I think I need to stretch my muscles. I'm a bit unused to sitting for this long."

That was true, too. This year's Amateur Meijin tournament had consisted of eight rounds single-knock-out on three consecutive days, two games on Friday, three on Saturday, and the final three on Sunday. He had found out that most amateur tournaments lasted only two, three days at the most so that people who had work weren't too inconvenienced by it. Thankfully, the thinking time was limited to an hour per person. Otherwise, it would have been impossible to hold so many games on one day.

Most of the time, Hikaru had managed not to use up his thinking time, but many of his opponents had. Not including byou-yomi, that meant that Hikaru had been playing for more than six hours today. Very exhausting, albeit in a completely different way from standing behind his cooking pots at Igo Ramen.

Stretching while he got up, he suddenly realized that he was surrounded on all sides by the crowd that had come to see their game. And they looked very eager to congratulate him and ask him tons of questions.

That was when it finally hit him. He had just won the All Japan Amateur Meijin, hadn't he? The very first tournament he participated in, and already straight through the finals.

He froze. Amateur Meijin was one of the highest amateur titles, too. Man, everyone at Igo Ramen and at Heart of Stone was going to be so mad at him, because he hadn't told anyone he was finally going to play in a real tournament.

Before he could take more than a step away from the Goban, Hikaru was swamped with reporters trying to catch his attention. What was the press doing here? He hadn't seen them before – where had they hidden? Was the Amateur Meijin really that important that at least four different newspapers would want to write an article about it?

"Shindou-san, how does it feel to be All Japan's Amateur Meijin?"

"Shindou-san, can you tell us a bit about yourself? Have you participated in any other amateur tournaments?"

"Shindou-san! You surprised everyone by winning against Meihyou-san in the quarter finals this morning. Do you intend to compete against him for the title as Best Japanese Amateur?"

"Who was your teacher, Shindou-san?"

Hikaru was completely overwhelmed by the multitude of questions. Yes, he had known that someone with his skill level suddenly appearing would cause some commotion, but that it would be this bad? Maybe he should have stayed on the internet… and he was really glad that he hadn't let Sai play for real when he had been younger. If Hikaru appearing out of the blue at his age and his skill-level was such a shock to the Go community, he really didn't want to think about what would have happened if a twelve-year-old had moved stones with Sai's skills.

Thankfully one of the tournament organizers caught his plight and came to his rescue. The man stepped up next to Hikaru and forced some reporters out of the way. "Please, everyone, step back a bit and let Shindou-san breathe. Shindou-san has just fought three very difficult matches, and he is tired. Please keep your questions short, and one at a time only."

The organizer pointed at one reporter, who then introduced himself as Kobayashi Minato from Mainichi Shinbun. "Shindou-san, you completely surprised everyone by coming out of the blue and winning one of Japan's most prestigious amateur titles. Can you tell us a bit about yourself?"

Hikaru nodded, trying to keep his wits together. He had expected such a question, and he had already decided beforehand how much he was going to tell. What he hadn't expected though was that he'd have to tell it to a reporter instead of some fellow Go player. "Sure. I came into contact with Go for the first time when I was twelve, but I didn't really get interested in it until a few years later. It is no wonder nobody knows anything about me because so far, I have only played on the internet and with my teacher. But two months ago, somebody finally convinced me to try and enter a real tournament, and here I am."

The reporter looked like he wanted to ask another question, but Hikaru followed the organizer's example and picked someone else. She introduced herself as Harumi Fujiko from Supootsu Shinbun. "Who is your teacher? Surely he must have seen your talent and urged you to go public earlier."

"Ah, yes, he certainly did." Hikaru chuckled uneasily, hoping he wouldn't mess up the story he had invented to explain Sai. "When I was younger, he was always pestering me to become an insei, but I absolutely refused. And he couldn't do anything about it because we had never met in person, just over the Internet."

That was a blatant lie, but it was the best explanation he had come up with for Sai's involvement in Hikaru's Go. He knew that he couldn't get away without claiming a teacher – especially since Sai's and his Go showed startling similarities (1), and being self-taught at his level was very implausible. But if he played it right, he could get around the pesky bits of Sai's identity, which many people were still looking for. He could just deny knowing who Sai was in real life, and thus keep up the myth of the NetGo Saint.

To be honest, sometimes it scared him how much of a legend sai had become. After the first few months of daily games for sai, Hikaru had noticed that the ghost was getting popular. More and more people had popped up with requests to play him, and more and more people had come to watch his games. When he had found out that there were many discussion boards about who sai might be, the situation had become increasingly creepy.

At that point of time, Sai's one game a day had turned into one against Hikaru instead of over the Internet quite frequently. But whenever sai was online, his unbroken winning streak continued. More and more often, sai had to tell people that he wasn't going to give out any personal information; that, no, he wasn't a pro and wasn't going to become one for personal reasons; and, no, he hadn't participated in any amateur tournaments, either, again for personal reasons.

Over the years, interest in sai had grown to epic proportions, but Hikaru had managed to keep sai anonymous. No matter what the rumors, sai had remained silent on all questions that didn't involve the current game being discussed. And that had only spurred more interest in sai's identity.

By the time Sai had moved on nearly eight years ago, he had grown to the status of a living legend. Hikaru suddenly claiming him as a teacher was going to make big waves, but since Ogata had already seen his connection to the Saint of NetGo, there were going to be others who did so, too. This way, he could at least control the revelation a little bit.

As expected, the reporter continued to ask about the identity of the anonymous NetGo player.

"You never met him in person? But surely you must know who he is."

Hikaru shook his head. "No. And I bet there are more people who would like to know who sai was. The only thing I know about him is that he must have been terminally ill, because he gave me a short warning before he disappeared eight years ago. Actually, tomorrow will be the anniversary of his death."

"Asano Miyura from Go Weekly. Are you talking about the same sai who has been called the Saint of Internet Go? The one who had remained undefeated for six years before he vanished as quickly as he came?"

"Yes." Hikaru could see the excitement on the face of the Go reporter and he got a sinking feeling. Well, it was too late now to take it back…

"This is the first time I've heard about sai taking on a student. Did he have any other?"

Hikaru shrugged his shoulders. "Not as far as I know. But, as I said, I don't know who he was in real life, so there is still a chance."

Not wanting to continue this line of questioning, Hikaru once again picked the man from Mainichi Shinbun, hoping he'd start on another topic.

"Thank you, Shindou-san. You mentioned that you have been playing on the internet exclusively so far, just like your teacher. Do you want to reveal which name you have been playing under?"

Hikaru smile wanly. Another secret he wasn't going to be able to hide for long. "I guess it will come out sooner or later. On NetGo and AGS, I go by deshi. I just want to ask everyone not to question me too much about sai. I don't know much more about him than everyone else, and I still miss him very much." Pausing a bit, he tried to find a polite way to get out of this question-and-answer session. He'd had enough. "I will answer one more question before I have to go."

He picked an attentive woman who hadn't said anything so far. She didn't look like she knew who either sai or deishi were, so her question should be safe to answer.

"Maesawa Hitomi from Tokyo Shinbun. What do you do when you aren't playing Go?"

Hikaru had to laugh. Not a question about sai and deishi, indeed. "Ah, now that would be telling, wouldn't it? Well, then again, I shouldn't have surfaced from the depths of the internet if I wanted to keep hiding. I'm a ramen chef."

That earned him several raised eyebrows. Well, it probably was unusual for a Go player to be cooking ramen for a job, but they'd get over it soon enough.

He bowed towards them. "I am very sorry to cut your questions short, but I am very tired from my games today. Thank you for your patience."

Fortunately, the organizer was quick on the uptake once again and guided him to a door that led to several back-stage rooms. Once the door was closed behind him, Hikaru slumped against it and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

He turned towards the organizer, sighing in relief. "Thanks, man, I had no idea it was going to be like that. I think I should have stayed home today…"

The organizer smiled indulgently. "Ah, but then you wouldn't have become All Japan's Amateur Meijin. I am not very up to date on the Go world, but you took everyone very much by surprise. Congratulations, by the way. The award ceremony will be held in twenty minutes, and you should prepare yourself for some more questions afterwards. But until then, you can rest here. Nobody should disturb you."

"Thank you very much." Hikaru bowed. "I am very grateful for your help."

Award ceremony? Crap, he had totally forgotten about that. More occasions for those pesky reporters to catch him flat-footed.

The official just nodded. "It was nothing. But if you plan on further participation in amateur tournaments, you should get used to the idea that socializing after the games is also part of the event."

Hikaru sheepishly rubbed his head. "Yeah, I know. It's just – all the attention all of a sudden took me by surprise. This is the first time I've been to an official tournament, and I didn't come here expecting I'd win this thing. I didn't know there would be so many reporters around."

"This is one of the most important Japanese amateur titles after all."

Hikaru smiled wryly. "I'm starting to realize that. Thanks for everything."

"No problem." With a slight bow, the official excused himself and Hikaru was alone in the staff room

He sighed. Just why had he thought that it would be a good idea to participate in amateur tournaments?

Hikaru was filling out tax forms. Who would have thought that being an adult was tied to so much paperwork? He was very close to giving up – who could really understand what all that legalese meant?

And Sai's pacing behind his chair didn't make things easier.

Normally, the ghost would have studied the papers together with him, helping him figure out what all the difficult terms and kanji meant. But lately, Sai had been distant, restless. Very much different from his usual behavior.

ARGH! He buried his head in his hands. He was supposed to concentrate on his tax forms, not worry about Sai!

Finally, the ghost came to a halt next to him. "Hikaru?"

At once Hikaru knew there was something wrong. He had rarely heard the ghost use that questioning, insecure tone. "What's the matter, Sai?" His tax forms could wait.

"Do you think you will be able to set up your own restaurant?"

Was Sai anxious about Hikaru not being able to make it in the future? "Yeah, sure. The Old Man says that he thinks combining Go with ramen is a good idea, too. He says that it might even make people bring their kids there, just to motivate them. Heh, kinda like you did for me…"

Sai smiled one of his very wide smiles that nonetheless seemed… fake. "That is good, Hikaru." Nodding to himself, Sai stared off into emptiness. "Very good."

He had been like that for the past few days, asking strange questions out of the blue and then staring off into nothing. Hikaru grew more and more concerned. "Hey, Sai, what's wrong with you? You've been acting really strange. Do you want to play a game? You know, I've bought that foldable Goban extra for the two of us."

When Sai shook his head distractedly, Hikaru knew that there was something seriously wrong. A Sai who didn't want to play Go was… very rare.

Sai wrung his hands, looking anywhere but at Hikaru. His voice was thin, hesitant, and he mumbled more than he spoke. "Thank you very much Hikaru, but… but I think I am going to leave soon."

Hikaru gaped. Say what? Sai was leaving? What was going on?

The ghost had turned his face down and hid his mouth with the wide sleeves of his kimono. Nonetheless Hikaru could see the tears in his eyes, and this time, they weren't Sai's usual exaggerated waterworks. They were silent drops making their way down his cheeks, falling to the floor with an inaudible 'plop'.

Hikaru didn't know what scared him more – Sai's silent crying, or his words. "S-Sai? I-I thought you… Why do you want to leave? I promise to let you play all the Go you want!"

Smiling sadly, the ghost shook his head. "Ne, Hikaru, I don't think it's in my control whether I leave or not. I have been feeling a strange pull these last few weeks, and it is getting stronger. At the same time, it feels like I'm… fading away."

Hikaru frowned. "You are fading away? You don't seem any less solid to me than usual."

"But I am!" Wringing his hands, Sai looked at Hikaru pleadingly. "I have to concentrate now to stay here with you. It feels… it feels as if I am just barely holding on anymore to our connection, and as if there was someone calling me all the time. Hikaru, I really think this means that I will be gone soon."

"But why? Why now and not yesterday or last month or next year? And weren't you with Torajirou for his whole life?" Hikaru tried to make sense of Sai's sudden announcement. Yes, Hikaru had realized that Sai had been unusually agitated the past few days, but Sai sometimes had some strange… moods. When Sai was in one of his moods, he tended to question his existence, life in general, the past, the Hand of God, and everything else he came across. This incident though was unlike anything Hikaru had seen in Sai so far.

Sai averted his eyes. "I think my purpose has been fulfilled."

"Your purpose?" Hikaru was very alarmed. "But you haven't reached the Hand of God yet! You have been looking for it for a thousand years, and now that you are in the middle of yet another life, someone suddenly decides to call you back? Your purpose can't have been fulfilled!"

Sai shook his head, smiling wanly. "For a long time, I have doubted that the Hand of God is my true purpose. Judging by the timing of my fading, I have either been sent to help you realize your Go potential, or to tell someone of Torajirou's skills."

Sai seemed to have given it a lot of thought already, so Hikaru tried to find some counter-arguments to calm the ghost down. "But… But I'm still learning so much from you. I am far from your skill-level; I can barely beat you with a 3-stone-handicap. And I bet there still are plenty of games you played with Torajirou. You can't go yet, you hear?"

"Just like the chick eventually leaves its nest, you will have to make your own way in Go, Hikaru. You have reached a point where you can continue growing on your own, and you have found your purpose in life. You don't really need me anymore. And it is not healthy for the living to be so preoccupied with the dead." Sai's smile was as blinding as it was fake. The ghost tried to be as up-beat about it as he could, but Hikaru saw how it tore at him, and how it scared him.

Try as he might, Hikaru was unable to hug the ghost's insubstantial body. "Then what will happen to you?"

Sai's arms closed around him, but Hikaru couldn't feel them. "I don't know. Maybe I will finally be allowed to rest. Maybe I will be given another chance to reach the Hand of God. Or maybe I will guide another aspiring young Go player."

It was clear that Sai believed what he was saying. But Hikaru didn't want to give up that easily. "Why can't you stay? You didn't leave Torajirou, either."

"No, I didn't. It was Torajirou who left me. Hikaru, I don't want you to die in front of my eyes like Torajirou did. This might sound selfish, but I am glad it is me who is going first this time. I don't think I could bear seeing you grow old and sick when I, who should have died a hundred lifetimes ago, continue existing unchanged. Please, Hikaru, live for me."

Hikaru had to fight back his tears. He didn't know how much of his emotions was overspill from Sai's and how much was his own, but the churning roil of them was almost overwhelming. There wasn't anything he could do, was there? Why did this happen so suddenly? How long did Sai still have?

The ghost's face was stained by silent tears as he buried his face in Hikaru's chest. Hikaru wasn't sure, but he thought 'in' was literal. There was just no way that Sai had remembered that Hikaru was supposed to be solid. Not with the way half of Sai's head vanished into Hikaru's shirt.

For a long time they just stood there, staying in their pantomime of a hug but ultimately unable to make physical contact. Finally Hikaru sighed. "Hey, Sai?"

"Hm?"

"Can you tell me a game you played before Torajirou?"

This caused Sai to back away, surprise clear on his face. "Hikaru?"

"I mean, I like seeing the games you played, and if your purpose here is to tell me all about Torajirou's games, I don't want to risk losing you any earlier than I have to. So, can you remember any other games?"

For a long time, Sai was completely frozen, eyes far away. Hikaru was starting to think he had made a mistake in asking, when Sai finally focused back on him, a melancholy expression on his face. "I remember parts of many games, but it was so long ago… There is only one game I remember completely, and it is not one to be proud of..." Sai trailed off.

At first Hikaru didn't know what the ghost was trying to get at – then it hit him like a brick. "Sorry I asked. I didn't want to bring up bad memories." Of course Sai would remember the last game he played before he drowned himself. "But even if it's only fractions – can you tell me some of the moves you made in those times? I'd like to see how you played a thousand years ago, and if Go has changed a lot in that time."

"Aa. That I can do."

A slight smile was Hikaru's reward, but he could see that the ghost was still deeply troubled beyond the surface.

They spent the evening talking, tax forms completely forgotten. To Hikaru's surprise, less than half of their conversation consisted of Go. Instead, Sai described the way people lived in the past, the way they saw things and, how else could it be, the way that influenced their Go.

It had been a long time since Hikaru had asked Sai about what he had seen living through the ages like he did, and Hikaru was once again amazed how vivid Sai's descriptions were and how he could almost see those pictures in front of his eyes. Hikaru wasn't sure whether that was due to their strange connection – when both Sai and he concentrated on the same game of Go, a ghostly replica of the goban appeared and Sai was able to touch it. So it stood to reason that Sai's influence helped Hikaru's imagination along, too, on some subconscious level.

Hikaru fell asleep with a smile on his face, the TV that he had habitually switched on for Sai to have some entertainment throughout the night, talking softly in the background.

The next morning, Hikaru woke to the sound of his alarm clock. He looked around to see why Sai hadn't woken him exactly two minutes before the clock went off, but he couldn't find the ghost anywhere. The TV was the only source of continuous talking.

Cold shock ran down Hikaru's back. Sai was gone.

(1) Hikaru's and Sai'sGo being so similar: They spent a lot more time together, and Hikaru mainly played against Sai – he didn't have the other insei or pros or Touya to compete with. So I think it's only logical that their style is more similar than in the manga.

A/N: Finally, Hikaru gets off his behind and does something instead of just dithering around. I realize that this probably isn't the step most of you have wished for, but… well, I think Hikaru still has plenty of stubbornness left, even after Touya's Insightful Insight last chapter, as mira mirth termed it. I realize that it was a bit tacky, and I'll probably go back and fix that when I'm done posting this story.

And yes, despite many complaints, this story will only have 11 chapters. You're lucky that you get 11 at all – without Amarthame's logical argument that I need a chapter to deal with the fall-out from this one, I would have concluded the story in chapter 10!

Sakiku