Night Rider Chapter 10
It had been a month since Eric had returned to Sookie. She'd fallen into a steady routine of sleeping from the early hours of the morning until noon. With the winter weather, the mornings were too cold for outdoor chores to be tolerable, and Eric always milked and gathered eggs before retiring to the cellar for the daylight hours. With the winter, also, there weren't many hours of daylight, so they could spend more time with each other. Royce and the problems he caused for them both were, if not forgotten, at least pushed into the background. Lately Sookie had begun to contemplate the future, and found it complicated. She and Sam had always assumed they'd have a family and grow old together. With Eric that had all changed. There could be no children, and he would never grow old. She tried to console herself with the thought that she was happy in the moment, and that would be enough, but there were days when it just didn't work.
Sensing her dark mood one evening, Eric pulled her into his arms and asked, "What has you so feeling so low, little one?"
"Oh, nothing, I'm fine now that you are here. I was just lonely today," she gave a weak smile after answering. His look told her immediately he wasn't buying it.
"Sookie, you know I can feel your emotions through our bond. Something is upsetting you. I do sense loneliness, but there is something else too. Please talk to me. I may not be able to help, but I can listen." His hands rubbed her back in soothing rhythm as he spoke in a low, calm voice.
"It will sound like I'm whining, like I'm not grateful for your presence and for all you do for me," she responded without looking at his eyes. "And I am, Eric, grateful to you for staying with me, caring for me, helping me keep this place going."
"But…" he urged, pulling her chin up, forcing her to look him in the face.
"But this isn't the life I thought I'd have. When I married Sam and came here, I thought we'd grow old together, with a houseful of children, and, I don't know, just be happy forever. Of course, I don't guess anyone dreams of an unhappy life, or of being alone…"
"No, I'm sure no one does. I certainly didn't," his eyes went dark with the memory.
"See, I'm just being selfish. My hurt, my loneliness is nothing compared to yours. I knew I shouldn't have said anything. I love having you here with me. I love you. That should be enough," she looked away, trying to hide the tears that had begun to trail down her cheeks.
"I still remember being human enough to know that it is hard to be satisfied with less than everything you desire. I chose the life of a cowboy, which meant being alone much of the time, but I remember longing for companionship, for family. Even though those feelings aren't strong in me now, I appreciate your company. I enjoy having you to talk to, to be with. Now, tell me all of your concerns. Children, you mentioned. Your sadness is that you won't have children?"
She nodded without turning back to him. "It's just been on my mind lately. I don't know why now. I had wondered when I was married to Sam if I were barren, since we'd never had a baby."
"What else? I know there's more," he stepped to her, circling her waist with his arms.
"I'm going to grow older. You won't. You aren't going to want to stay with me, then I'll truly be alone," her voice trailed off to a whisper at the last words.
Eric turned her toward him and pulled her tightly to him. Running his fingers through her hair, he allowed her to cry into his chest. Neither spoke, neither moved, save for the comforting stroking of each other. At length, Eric swung Sookie up into his arms, carrying her to the bed and placing her gently under the covers. He climbed in after her, holding her gently, placing kisses over her forehead and face. He continued to hold her until she slept. When he was sure his movement would not wake her, he sat on the side of the bed and hung his head. Much to his surprise, one bloody tear, the first he recalled, appeared in the corner of his eye.
A/N Seems Eric and Sookie have decisions to make. I do too. I've envisioned several different directions this story could take. I know some of you are following, so please comment, and help me decide. WWED?