Vendetta

Peeta gave a half chuckle, "And you look tired Madge...you try to hide it beneath ice and stone but I can see it. You look tired, Madge, so fucking tired." –Peeta Mellark.

Chapter Ten: A Talk

Peeta swallowed, "Oh my gosh. I-I'm so sorry Madge."

She gave a pained smile. That disturbed him more than anything. It was the fact that suddenly her emotions were so out there. The Madge he knew, the Madge he grew up with, always hid her feelings behind a wall—made of impenetrable stone—and vacant, harmless seeming eyes. But now though the wall was gone, it was like a dam had broken and now all her emotions were flooding out of her.

"How did they—"Peeta swallowed against the memories that flooded him. "How did they get you?"

:::

Waking up to darkness.

A creak of the cellar door.

Blinding brightness.

Surrounded by peacekeepers their white uniforms hazy in the blinding sun.

A yell.

A scream.

Pain.

Darkness.

:::

"When I woke up the bombing was over and I was surrounded by peacekeepers. They must have knocked me out or something because the next thing I know I'm in a lab."

"Did they—you know…hurt you?"

Madge bit her lip, nodded.

:::

When she woke up there was freezing steel and leather restraints biting into her skin. She tugged at them, her hands barely moved. Madge forced herself to remain calm, panicking would do her no good.

"You're finally awake? Good," Madge lifted her eyes to meet cold gray ones that were nothing like ones at home. This gray was an unnatural shade, too light and too bright and too dark at the same time. It was surgically enhanced.

"Who are you?" Madge asked, tugging at her restraints again.

The woman looked over her glasses—clearly fake since anyone who was in the Capital had no need for them except for decoration—at her. The woman had her light purple hair tied back into a severe bun, her face was stretched, and strangely shiny like it was made of plastic. "I'm Dr. Marble."

"Where am I?" Madge looked around the room. It was stark white but the lights were strange. They didn't hum so much as buzz. The room was square, tiny, had no windows, and only had one door that blended almost seamlessly into the walls. Madge turned her head to see there was a shelf to her right and a tiny tray. She forced her eyes away from the tray.

Marble gave her a look that clearly meant she thought Madge was worth less than the dirt beneath her feet. "Can't tell you that Sweets."

Madge gritted her teeth, "Don't call me that, you Capital lap dog."

The woman's face suddenly went hard.

Crack!

Madge's face snapped to the other side, her right cheek burning from the woman's hand.

Marble grabbed her hair pulling her head back to look at her, "You have no idea what you owe the Capital. You ungrateful, degenerate, rebel scum!"

Madge grinned up at her, trying not to wince as the pain in her head worsened. "Better to be rebel scum than be the Capital's bitch."

Marble let her head go and Madge's head clunked back to the metal table she was strapped too. The purple haired woman snapped her gloves and picked up a scalpel from the tray beside her. She grinned, cold and cruel. "Usually I don't like doing this but for you, I'll make an exception."

Her body felt like it was being pulled apart.

:::

Suddenly the Madge he knew was back as she stared at him with detached eyes. "Can I ask you a question?"

He nodded, stepping closer to her. "Of course."

She hesitated and when she looked at him again there was tiny crack in her exterior, large enough that he could see the fear and uncertainty. "Do you…have scars? Like ones that…you can…see?"

Peeta shook his head, confused, "No why would I—"understanding dawned on his face—"you don't…they didn't? Oh my gosh."

Madge just stared at him, her mask crashing back in place. It was silent, awkward, loud, and crushing.

"I am so sorry, Madge," Peeta whispered, horror of the worst kind on his face. The kind of horror that meant you knew exactly what they went through.

She gave him a false smile, "Hey, not like it's your fault."

Peeta swallowed, suddenly irritated at her. "Stop that."

Madge blinked, "Stop what?"

"Hiding! I know what you've been through, you know what I've been through. I don't think we need to hide from each other."

Madge tensed for a moment before relaxing, "You're right. I-I'm sorry, it's just…like instinct after all this time."

Peeta looked away and said quietly, "Yeah. I know what you mean."

Madge didn't need to ask what he was talking about. It was District 12's worst kept secret. She smiled at him. False and true at the same time. "See? This is the problem with your relationship; you guys try to convince each other that everything is fine when it's not. You guys—bottle it up until…one or both of you explode."

Peeta sighed and scratched his head, "I guess so huh?"

Madge stared at him, "You really love her don't you?"

Peeta laughed, "I've been in love with her since I was little kid, you know that Madge."

"Second worst kept secret in our District and the in Town," she murmured, a small wind blowing her hair in her face.

His head cocked to one side, humor in his eyes. "What was the first than?"

She gave him a level stare, "The fact that your mom beat you and your brother and your father did nothing to stop her."

He flinched—a tiny one but still a flinch. "You don't sugar coat anything do you?"

Madge shrugged but her eyes stared unapologetically into his, "I figured you wouldn't want me to tip toe around you."

Peeta almost smiled at that, he inclined his head in agreement—not quite a nod though, "Come on, let me walk you home."

She nodded. The two fell into step and silence as they walked, Madge taking the lead when they were past the fence. Peeta looked at her from the corner of his eye, wondering what she was thinking about.

:::

Her body was drenched with sweat, making Madge realize that she was wearing nothing more than a sports bra and a pair of really short shorts. Her stomach had the worst of it, burning and freezing at the same time. Her breath came out in short pants.

"Now than, are you going talk dearie?" Marble looked at her with cold eyes. "What are the Rebel's final plans?"

Madge stayed silent, using the opportunity to get her bearings before the pain started again.

Go away, go away, go away, her mind begged. Leave me alone.

Marble scowled, grabbed the bucket of ice cold water—that was regularly refilled—and dumped it on the blonde's head. She sputtered, coughing out water, her lungs burning. She was shivering again.

"Now," Marble put down the bucket, "Let's try this again. What are Rebel's final plans?"

"I don't know!" Madge yelled before she could stop herself.

Her unnatural gray eyes narrowed, "Really?"

Madge swallowed and stayed quiet. She hated that she had said anything, it felt like they were winning. If anything that was one thing she had in common with Katniss, it was that she hated losing too.

Marble nodded, like Madge had confirmed something and pressed a button under the tray and walked out the room.

"Wait!" Madge yelled, "What's going to happen to me! Answer me dammit!"

She heard the quiet shoosh of door opening, she looked and saw two people enter. Both in peacekeeper uniforms—with the sleeves rolled up—but without the visors.

One man and one woman, both the same height with black hair and eyes with unnaturally pale skin.

Siblings maybe? Madge's mind analyzed.

The woman was clearly the leader, she walked slightly ahead of the male with a cocky bounce in her steps. The male was drunk, his pupils dilated and his steps were slurred slightly—so slight she wouldn't have noticed if Madge hadn't spent most of her childhood around Haymitch.

Can I use that to my advantage?

Madge felt something prick her neck, she turned to see Marble holding a needle. She was out in seconds.

:~:~:~:

"I still can't believe you actually stay here." Peeta shook his head, giving the moldy wooden steps a critical look.

Madge felt herself smile, "It's not that bad. Which reminds, how did you find out my address anyway?"

"It's like I said, gossip travels fast around here," Peeta said opening the door for her.

"See you tomorrow Peeta." Madge waved at him.

:~:~:~:

In the dream she was eleven years old, too young to be entered into the reaping—until tomorrow on her twelfth birthday. Madge was walking down the hallway, it was dark outside and it would be midnight in twenty minutes. Her bare feet were cold against the wooden floor and her night gown did nothing to warm her up. She scratched at her neck where the lace was rubbing against it. She hated lace, she hated her night gowns, she hated dresses—they never let her move the way she wanted too, one cartwheel and the entire world would be able to see her underwear—but most of all she hated the look in her mother's eyes when Madge had changed her morphine bag before bedtime. Like she was staring a ghost.

Madge squeezed her eyes tight, counting the breaths until she reached her mother's door. The door slid open and Madge slipped inside. The whoosh of the door opening and closing almost silent, her footsteps on the carpeted floor even quieter. Madge stood at the edge of her mother's bed, watching the woman that she called mom sleep.

She was pale, her skin translucent—a combination between never going outside and the sleeping all the time—Madge could see the blue veins that ran underneath her skin. But it was more than that, it was like she was washed out or everything about her had been faded. Everything about her was pale and washed out. Her blonde hair was almost white, like she was 70 instead of 37, her clothes seemed faded, and Madge knew that if she opened her eyes they would be a faded, vacant, blue.

Her breaths were shallow and her frame was too skinny. Elbows and knees jutting out from underneath her dress.

Madge felt her breath catch, was this really her mother? This defenseless, out-of-it, woman that was helpless without her morphine? This wasn't how mother's was supposed to be like, she knew this. They were supposed to strong and feisty or quiet but determined. Like Katniss's mother or Gale's mother.

Not so fucking out of touch with reality they barely realized they had a daughter.

"Stop that Madge, you'll make yourself go insane," she whispered to herself, the heels of her hands digging into her eyes. She swallowed and forced herself to turn back around when she heard her mother's bed creak.

"Maysilee?" Her mother's was quiet and cracked from disuse but it was clearer and stronger than Madge had heard it in months.

Madge opened her mouth to correct her but nothing came out, heat prickling the back of her eyes. Her mother stood up slowly, legs shaking from disuse, one arm resting on the wall to help her.

"Why are you here?" Her eyes were too wide and her pupils to small, she looked half mad.

"M-mom, I-I'm not—" Madge found her voice but to her horror tears began to fill her mother's eyes.

"Why did you have to leave me?" Her mother shuffled closer. "Why'd you have to leave me all alone? I missed you so much Maysilee."

Madge shook her head slightly, "Mom I'm not—"

"Why'd you have to be so selfish?" Her voice was still quiet but there was something about it that made her mother seem even madder.

"Mom, what are you talking about? It's me, Madge!" The blonde slowly stepped back, fear and dread roiling in her stomach.

Her mother stepped forward and suddenly lashed out, pushing Madge into the wall. Madge caught herself out of pure instinct and stared at her mother with wide eyes, "Mom?"

"Why'd you have to go?!" Her mother yelled, eyes wide and hands digging into her scalp. "Why did you have to leave me alone?! Why did you have to be so selfish?!"

"Mom, I'm not—" Madge stopped, her voice thick. When she spoke again, her voice was low and pleading. She admitted something she had never done before. "Mom, please, stop this. You-you're scaring me."

:::

Madge rolled over and opened her eyes, throwing off the covers. Too hot, it was too hot, she felt too hot. The blonde walked out the door of the bedroom and silently slipped into the living room to see the lamp on and Gale there, staring at the papers on the coffee table.

"Couldn't sleep?" Madge asked quietly, lingering in the doorway before realizing she was being stupid—it was her motel room—and sitting down next to him on the couch. She was careful to put at least six inches of space between them (she wasn't stupid, she knew exactly how he felt about her—not that he tried to hide how he felt about her anyway).

He didn't jump when she had spoken—not surprising since she wasn't even trying to be silent—but he did lean away from her when she sat down. "No, got too much in my head."

He turned his head to look at her, his face shadowed in the near darkness. "What about you?"

She gave a weary sigh and tugged at her blonde hair, mussed by her rolling around. "Bad dreams."

He nodded, "What kind?"

"The kind that's more memories than nightmare," her voice just as quiet at his.

He gave a derisive snort before he could stop himself.

"You know I really wished you would stop that."

"Stop what?"

She gave a tiny puff of air and rolled her neck, "It's been five years Gale, everyone changes."

"No one ever truly changes Undersee."

She snorted, "You clearly haven't."

He glared at her, his grey eyes hard. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what I said," she turned to look at him and he saw her change. Her body language became hard and tense, her voice serious and with hints of dislike and her eyes were trained on his, unwavering and unflinching. "What gives you the right to judge me when you don't even know me?"

He stared back at her, "I'll tell you what I know. You had two parents, that's one than I had. You went to bed in your room in a house that always had food, electricity, and running water. That's more than I ever had. You were lucky, you were fortunate, and you didn't even know what you had."

Madge's eyes were blazes of ice, blue and green chips of frost. "Exactly. Had Gale, had. Both of my parents may have lost their lives in the bombing but I lost both of them way before that. I lost my mother before I was ever even born and I lost my father to the Capital, same as you. Same as Katniss. Same as everyone in this fucking District."

Her voice was hard with frustration and anger. And Gale could only watch as he saw the real Madge Undersee, hidden behind glass and ice and stone walls. Anger, frustration, and calculation. He felt his breath catch and his heart stutter in his chest at the light in her unique eyes.

She laughed wryly, "Why can't you get that? Why can't see past what I had and see who I am? Even now, five years later. Look around you Gale, I'm not exactly living it up."

Gale opened his mouth and sighed, "I know I'm sorry, it's just…"

"I get it okay? You're tired, you're stressed, you're frustrated, and you're hurt but that doesn't mean you can lash out at me."

"You're right, I'm sorry."

Madge looked at him, taking note of the way his shoulders rose up in defense and the way he had to hiss the words past his teeth. She sighed, the sound weary and reluctant. "If you're going to be working with me, we need to have a talk Gale."

DONE! I know, I know, I disgust you guys but I honestly had no idea the chapters would take so long! But now that I have my groove back—can't believe I actually said that by the way—the updates should be more regular but with school coming up don't expect miracles but I'll try to get out at least two chapters per month. But hey! Long chapter! Also, next chapter is the one you guys have all been waiting for…

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