(December 1982)

Ten

Two more weeks and Severus would be home for the Christmas holidays. She had been shopping Muggle London with Sarah, but needed to go to Diagon Alley. She knew Sev would have frowned on the venture, but she figured she would be safe enough as crowded as it would be and she left Harry with Sarah, hoping he didn't do anything unexplainable. She wanted to talk to Severus about gaining permission to tell Sarah and her family about the Magical world, she was sure they would understand and it would simply things greatly.

She faced Molly, who was frowning at her. "You're sure about this?"

"Molly, no one is looking for me, it's Harry they would be looking for. I only need to go into Flourish and Blotts."

"And it isn't something I can pick up for you?"

Lily sighed. She knew Molly was being her normal protective self, but she wanted to go herself. "Molly, come on, it will be fine. Just a quick trip to one store, that is all."

The older witch smiled. "Oh all right, let's go."

Lily didn't bother with a glamour, hoping the holiday crowds would be enough, no one was looking for her, they would have noticed Harry. They flooed to the Leaky Cauldron and made their way into Diagon Alley. They made their way through the crowded street to Flourish and Blotts.

Molly went to look for something for Bill, Charlie, and Percy while Lily looked at the journals. She wanted to get Severus a nice one, she had noticed he kept his notes in student notebooks and thought he deserved something nicer. She picked up one that was a deep green, leather bound.

"Well, if it isn't Lily Potter."

Lily froze. It was Malfoy. Her wand was not easily accessible, but they were in a public place, what could he do? She turned very slowly to face him.

"Malfoy."

His cold gaze and white blond hair were exactly as she remembered. He looked on her with unconcealed lust and hatred.

"Where is little Harry?" He smiled, speaking quietly and with an air of concern.

"Somewhere you'll never find him." She answered, but suddenly the store seemed empty. He stepped forward, forcing her back against the shelves. Lily fought against the panic that was rising in her, threatening to overtake her reason. Lucius was not stupid; he was not going to hurt her in a public place. She struggled to remind herself even as she felt the tightness of panic in her chest.

"Why would I be looking for him?"

"For You-Know-Who."

He looked affronted. "Now, now, no need for such accusations, I am not a Death Eater. I'm glad to see you are well, Mrs. Potter." He turned and left.

Lily remained still for a moment, watching Lucius retreat to another part of the store. Molly came around the corner.
"Lily! Are you all right? What happened?"

Lily shook her head. "I'm fine. Lucius Malfoy saw me, he knows I'm alive, but I don't think he'll do anything, he can't and keep the story that he was under the Imperius, at least for now." She paused and held out the journal. "Do you think Sev will like it?"

Molly looked at it. "He'll love it, I'm sure." It was her turn to hold out books. "I got these for the boys."

She looked over the books, there was basic book on curses and breaking them that was obviously for Bill and a book on Dragons of Britain for Charlie.

"I couldn't find anything that seemed right for Percy. He's gotten this rat he wants to keep as a familiar; I suppose I could get him a book on magical creatures."

"A rat?" Lily frowned.

"I know, strange, but he seems to be a special one, so Arthur said it's all right, we got him a cage. As long as he doesn't get into my kitchen!"

XXXXXX

Severus was in his office; it was nearly time for Bill Weasley to arrive for his weekly 'Potions tutoring' that was really Defence Against the Dark Arts lessons. The boy wanted to be a curse-breaker and he certainly showed an aptitude for it. While this year's DADA professor was knowledgeable, he bore the standard distrust of Slytherins and had not answered Bill's questions sufficiently or challenged him when he seemed beyond the level of the rest of the class. And so Severus had stepped in, as he had with some of his other snakes, and made a weekly time for the boy to be 'tutored in Potions'.

There was a knock on his door and he looked up from the essays he was grading. "Enter."

He was surprised when Lucius Malfoy strode in. Severus remained where he was. "Lucius."

"I was at Flourish and Blotts today and ran into someone unexpected."

"Really?"

"Lily Potter. You wouldn't know anything about her whereabouts, would you?"

Severus stood and walked around his desk to face Lucius. "If I did, I would not tell you. I do not engage in your …. perversions …. and you know it." He knew he was pushing just a bit, but he wanted to make sure Malfoy stayed away from Lily.

Lucius stared at him, his blue eyes calculating. "That woman you had with you last year?"

"I told you, no one important."

Lucius half-smiled. "I suppose that if you have managed to claim your precious Lily, you would be reluctant to share. However, there will be a time you will be asked to do so. Saying no would not go well."

Severus stood straight and crossed his arms against his chest, glaring at the other Wizard. "Neither would your time in Azkaban if you are overheard, you idiot. You think the headmaster would not figure out of what you speak? He knows everything that goes on here. You really should leave. Now."

Malfoy said nothing further and left the room. Severus sank back into his desk chair. One good thing had come of the conversation, and that was that there would only be one time that he would be forced to comply with such an order, if that order was from Voldemort himself. His suspicions were correct; Voldemort did have a way to return.

He had been thinking of proposing to Lily, thinking of having a family, that is was possible for him to be a good father unlike his own. Now he was uncertain, how could he marry her and protect her and Harry? Their marriage would have to be secret. Children? What was he thinking?

A few minutes later there was another knock on the door and Severus sat up straighter before calling, "Enter."

Bill Weasley came in, frowning deeply.

"Hello Professor Snape."

Severus looked at the eldest Weasley child for a moment. "Is something wrong, Bill?"

Bill sat down in the chair facing him. "I saw Mr. Malfoy in the corridor, he said I wasn't worthy to be in Slytherin, then he said somethings about my mum and dad that made me mad." The red-haired boy looked hurt as well as angry.

"Bill, try to ignore what he has said to you." Sev stood and walked around to stand beside him, kneeling so he was eye-to-eye with Bill. "I know words can hurt, far more than someone physically hitting you, but he is wrong. You are a fine addition to Slytherin, you are at the top of your classes, you are a leader rather than a follower, and you show good judgment and also compassion. As for your family, you have a family to be proud of, let no one discourage you from that, ever. Your family may be poor, but you are rich in far greater treasures than the Malfoy's will ever have."

Bill nodded. "Yes sir."

Severus stood. "Do you have any questions for me or do you want to start where we stopped last week?"

"No questions, yet, sir." Bill smiled.

"Very well." Severus opened his own copy of the text they were using, forcing his attention on teaching rather than his desire to check on Lily and Harry.

XXXXXX

Lily walked to Sarah's just as soon as she returned to Spinner's End. Molly had tried to distract her, but it had not worked well. She wanted her baby and she wanted Sev. She knocked on Sarah's door and a moment later Sarah appeared and opened the door, holding Harry.

"Mummy!"

Lily took him and held him tight. Sarah frowned.

"Is something wrong?"

Lily found herself unable to lie. "Yes and no."

"Come in, it's almost time for tea and I have a peach custard ready."

Lily entered the house, an architectural copy of Sev's, and followed her to the parlour where she sat down with Harry in her lap. Sarah entered a few minutes later with a tea tray.

Once she had a cup of tea and slice of the custard and Harry was settled with some milk and some cut up peach slices, she looked at Sarah, not even sure what to say, Sarah was a Muggle and unless she got permission to tell her, she couldn't.

"I ran into someone today while I was shopping that I wish I hadn't. He was a seventh year when Sev and I were first years, he hated me and he would look at me in a way that made my skin crawl. He recognised me."

"What did he want?"

"I don't know, I'm just glad I was somewhere crowded. I'm a little worried about telling Sev though."

Sarah frowned. "Lily, don't be, trust him. He's a good man, Mike and I have known him since we moved here. I'll admit at first I wasn't sure, but after he found out Matthew was sick, he came with a natural cure that cured what the doctor couldn't. After that, he's been a good neighbour and even friend. He can be distant and he likes his privacy, but he wants to protect you, let him. He does it the way a man should—without being overbearing and treating you like you're stupid, right?"

Lily had to smile, that was Severus. "Yes. He isn't at all like James was."

"Trust your heart, Lily."

XXXXXX

Lily got back to the house and heard something upstairs. She knew she and Sev were the only ones that could get through the wards. Still, she drew her wand, holding Harry on her hip.

"LILY!"

She released the breath she'd been holding and nearly ran up the stairs to find Sev in the hallway. Before she could speak, he pulled her and Harry into his arms.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes, we're fine."

He relaxed. "I saw Malfoy today; he said he had seen you."

"I went to Diagon Alley with Molly. I had hoped with the crowds, I would be unnoticed, but he saw me. He didn't threaten me or anything, he tried to act like he was concerned for me and Harry."

Severus sighed. "That is not the conversation he had with me." He stepped back a little and looked at her and Harry. "I have to get back to Hogwarts. I will see you tomorrow night."

"Sev, what did he say?"

He glanced at Harry and shook his head. Leaning forward, he gave Harry a kiss on his forehead and then a simple kiss on Lily's lips.

XXXXXX

Severus returned to the school to find a note from Dumbledore requesting his presence. He had a feeling Malfoy had gone to Dumbledore. He would have been very nice about it, saying his concern was for Harry, but he was trying to find them. Sev had every confidence in his wards; he knew Arthur would never betray them.

He entered Dumbledore's office. "You wished to see me, Headmaster?"

Dumbledore leaned back in his chair and stared at Severus. Sev remained calm, his hands clasped behind his back, waiting.

"Severus. Lemon drop?"

"No, thank you."

"It has been brought to my attention that Lily Potter is with you. I do not think this is the best thing, far too dangerous for her. Bring her here…."

"No. I know where Lily is, yes, but I will NOT bring her to you or anyone else. She is safe where she is. You promised to keep her, James, and Harry safe and you failed to do so."
"Where is Harry?"

Severus glared at Dumbledore. "No. He is safe, that is all you need to know."

"He needs to be with family, he was safe with the Dursley's."

"Did you ever bother to check on him?"

"I didn't have to. Petunia is his aunt, family takes care of family."

Severus held his temper in check. Perhaps that was how it should work, but it did not always, and he knew that all too well. "Petunia Evans Dursley hates magic; she called her sister and me freaks when we were children. She would not have treated Harry well, he is safer where he is, and he will grow up knowing love."

"He has a purpose in this war, and needs to be prepared, not pampered."

Severus held his hands in tighter fists. "Abuse does not generally give rise to love and loyalty. Harry Potter is not a pawn, he is a child."

"He would not have been abused, discipline is not abuse. Tell me where he and Lily are, Severus. You are supposed to be a Death Eater. What about your cover?"

"My cover will be fine, and I will not tell you where they are, they are safe. Harry would not have been all right with the Dursley's and Lily is safe as well."

Albus had the nerve to smile at him. "You're letting your personal feelings get in the way, Severus. You need to see the bigger picture."

Severus glared at the old Wizard. "If by that you mean I can recognise abuse when I see it, than perhaps I am letting my feelings get in the way. You are blind to it, and you always have been. Harry and Lily are safe and I will say no more."

Dumbledore looked furious. "Very well, Severus."

He knew as he left Dumbledore's office, this was not over.

XXXXXX

Severus arrived home the next night to find Lily alone in the parlour. "Where is Harry?"

"With Minerva, she was dying to play grandmum and I thought it would be nice to have some time just adults." She smiled.

He looked at her, a little uncertain as to her intent. Severus sat down beside her. "Just us?"

"Yes." Lily moved over to sit closer and he wrapped his arms around her. "How was your day?"

Severus frowned. "Not good. Dumbledore knows Harry is not with the Dursley's. He wanted to know where you are, I would tell him nothing. It did not go over well."

"I would imagine not. Anything else?"

He shook his head. He did not want to go into detail about his conversation with Malfoy, thinking about it was the last thing he wanted to do. He held her a little tighter and she let him, leaning her head onto his shoulder.

"Are you sure? Sev something is bothering you, you never did tell me what Malfoy said."

She looked up to see the corners of his mouth curve downwards slightly. "It is nothing for you to worry about."

Lily shifted so she was looking at him better, putting her arms around his neck. "Sev, you came home to check on me and were panicked. What did he say to you?"

He sighed and touched her face, running his fingers along her jawline and then back into her hair. "He wants you. I will not let him near you, Lily. I will keep you and Harry safe."

She snuggled a little closer to him. "I know you will, Sev. But why? Doesn't he think I'm a . . . a mudblood?"

Severus hated that word. "Do not use that word, please. And, yes, but it is about power and dehumanising. To him, you are an object to be used." Severus held her a little closer.

"I just wish this was over."

"So do I."

Lily sighed. She wanted this to be a good time together. She was not sure why Severus continued to hold back, but she felt ready to go forward. It had been a little over a year since James died and her feelings for Severus were so completely different. "I have dinner in the oven, it will be ready soon."

"It smells good. What is it?"

"A surprise."

"A surprise?" He leaned in to place a kiss on her lips. After a few minutes the timer rang in the kitchen, she moved away from him, smiling.

"Stay here." She got up and went to finish dinner.

Severus waited patiently, picking up a book to read. When he heard her call him, he walked into the kitchen. He had thought the scent coming from the kitchen was familiar. In the centre of the table there was a roast chicken, mashed potatoes, peas and carrots. The spices were his mother's, she had her own way of seasoning the chicken and he had loved the rare treat.

"I hope you don't mind, I found your mum's book of recipes a while back. She had this one hand-written, I figured it was special."

He nodded. "She made it when she could, the last time was when I made O's on my NEWTs."

"Then you don't mind?"

"No, of course not." Sev pulled her chair out before taking his own seat at the table.

After dinner they went to sit in the parlour, Severus put a recording of Beethoven's Seventh Symphony on his turntable and sat down beside Lily, pulling her into his arms.

Lily felt the warmth of his lips on hers and put her hands around his neck, pulling him closer as he deepened the kiss. She felt his hands moving along her back, finally sliding under her top to touch her skin. A gasp escaped her lips at the warmth his touch caused, the fire that kindled in her centre and spread. She returned the favour, smiling as he unconsciously shifted his position, allowing her easier access to his chest. Lily wanted to see him, she started to push his shirt away when he caught her hands.

He was staring at her, Severus shook his head.

"Why not?"

"I do not want you to see . . . you just should not see."

Lily touched his face, leaning against him. "Sev, there is nothing about you I would reject. What is it?"

He frowned and sat up, turning away from her and pulling his shirt over his head. She had to stifle a gasp. His back was badly scarred; he had very obviously been beaten with a belt or some similar instrument. Severus looked over his shoulder at her, his dark eyes filled with a fear she had never seen there before. Touching his shoulders, she got him to turn back to her.

"Sev, was it your father?"

He nodded. "Mostly."

She was tempted to ask why his mother had not healed him to prevent scars, but thought better of it, clearly his mother had not been able or allowed to use her magic to help her son, or she had not cared. Leaning forward, she kissed him again, pulling away just enough to speak.

"I love you. Nothing can change that. You've been a wonderful father to Harry and I know you would never hurt me or Harry."

He stared at her for a moment. "But. . ."

"What? You are not your father, you would never be like him, if that is what you're worried about."

"A little, yes. I do not want to harm you or Harry."

"You won't." Lily looked at him for a moment. "There's something else."

Severus finally nodded. "I want us to be together, but . . . it seems impossible at times, especially with Malfoy lurking."

She shifted and leaned back against him, feeling the warmth and comfort of his now bare chest against her. He tightened his hold on her. "Sev, don't do that. Don't let him keep you from having what you want. What is it you want?"

He held her close. "You, Harry, a half a dozen little Snapes….but there's a war looming."

"People get married with wars looming all the time. We'd have to get married in the Muggle world rather than the Magical, but I don't mind. It's been over a year Sev, I love you."

"I love you." He paused. "Would you marry me?"

Lily smiled up at him. "Yes."

She leaned in and kissed him again, before they knew it, they were stretched out on the couch, Lily on top of him. She felt his hands start a hesitant path up her legs, she willed her own desires into submission, trying to give him time to explore. She finally felt the gentle brush of his fingers right where she wanted it; she moved just enough to part her legs a little more, giving him better access. She kissed him deeply and moaned into his mouth as she felt skin on skin, his fingers using the background rhythm of Beethoven's symphony to caress her.

She reached for the waist of his trousers, but he stopped her.

"Sev, please, let me."

He shook his head. "No. I remember when we were in school, you wanted to wait."

"Severus, honey, I'm a widow with a two year old child…it's a little late."

He rolled his eyes. "I know that . . . but, did you get to wait?"

Lily looked at him, unexpected tears springing to her eyes as she slowly shook her head. She felt his hands on her face, brushing away the tears.

"Did he hurt you?"

"The first time always hurts."

"Lily."

She took a deep breath. "He did not force me, Sev. He just . . . he said it was ok, we were engaged and we got carried away. I guess."

Severus wanted to curse James Potter, but gritted his teeth. No, maybe Potter had not used physical force, but he had coerced her and in Severus' mind that was just as bad as using physical force. He had to have known Lily's desire to wait and he had ignored it, forcing his own selfish needs on her, rather than putting her first.

He moved out from under her. "Lily, I've waited this long for you, would you mind if we waited until our wedding night for more?"

"You . . . you waited, you mean you haven't. . . . for me?" Lily stared at him, on the outside and to the world Severus was severe and unyielding, a man that was brutally honest in his assessments, who was considered harsh and distant and yet the man she had grown to know again was more than those things. He could be tender and loving, he was thoughtful and considerate, he was everything she could have wanted and once more that thought of what could have been came to her, but she pushed it aside, mindful of his earlier advice.

Severus nodded. "It was not easy, especially among the Death Eaters, I was harassed constantly, but I did not want anyone else when I loved you."

She leaned forward and kissed him. "I love you. . . not too long though, I've missed enough time with you."

He pulled her back into his arms. "I will call Mike in the morning and see how quickly he would be able to marry us. We will have to invite the Weasley's and Minerva."

"Remus."

He nodded. "Where do you want to go for our honeymoon?"

"I have no idea. Not France, I went there with James. Surprise me."

Severus smiled. "Very well."

XXXXXX

Lily stood in the Muggle dress shop with Sarah and Molly. "I don't know what to do. I feel like I can't get all dressed up, it's my second marriage, but if I don't I feel like I'm cheating him."

She groaned and continued to stare at the gowns and dresses before her. She felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Lily, do what you want to do. You know Severus will be happy with whatever you choose."

"I know he likes me in green, but that seems a little strange."

"Not at Christmas time." Molly and Sarah answered together.

The two women gravitated towards the section of green dresses. Sarah pulled out an emerald green dress with a satin bodice and ankle-length skirt that flowed with chiffon over the satin.

"Try this."

Lily took the dress and the two women followed her to the dressing room. When she stepped out a few minutes later, Molly and Sarah gasped.

"WOW! You have to get it. Not only will Severus love it, but you can still use the dress for things like a dinner or party."

Lily turned slowly in front of the large mirror. If feeling stunningly beautiful was part of the requirement for finding a dress, she had indeed found the dress.

"I love it."

XXXXXX

Nervousness was not a familiar sensation to Severus. He stood just outside the door that would take him into the nave of the small parish church. Arthur stood beside him and put his hand on his shoulder. "Relax, Severus. It's not painful, I promise."

He turned and frowned at Arthur, whom he had chosen as his best man. The Wizard was wearing a black suit with a red tie, Lily had gone with Christmas colours and Arthur was positively thrilled for the chance to be around Muggles and wear Muggle clothes. Severus was so glad to be getting married in the Muggle world, if he had been in the Wizarding world the expectation would have been for Lucius Malfoy to hold that honour and there was no way Lucius was going to get that close to Lily, not without going over Severus' dead body.

"Thank you for the help, Arthur, and for offering to take Harry while we are away."

"You're quite welcome; you and Lily are like part of the family. It's no trouble at all."

He could hear the soft tones of the final prelude piece through the door come to a stop. Lily had given him free rein with the music and he had chosen a variety of classical, but often neglected pieces, all English composers. It was his turn. He heard the opening bars of a coronet piece by Burney for him and Arthur and Remus and Sarah and Molly as her maids of honour. He eyed Remus; he no longer disliked the werewolf, but doubted he would ever be completely comfortable around him, he had been over for dinner a few times.

He walked into the nave, taking in the familiar architecture as he walked at Arthur's side to stand at the steps leading into the sanctuary from the nave of the old church. Sarah and Molly walked up the aisle, joining the men on the other side of the steps. Severus inhaled deeply as the organ stopped and a grand pause occurred. A moment later the Sumsion Processional March heralded Lily's arrival. She had chosen to have no one give her away. With her parents deceased, there really wasn't anyone to fill that role. She held a bouquet of white roses and holly, her emerald green dress brought out her eyes.

Lily saw Sev at the other end of the nave and took a deep breath, stepping forward on the right beat, turning slightly to make sure that Harry, who was her very young page, was following her. Her heart swelled, Sev stood tall and handsome at the other end of the aisle, waiting for her to join him. He was so handsome in that Muggle suit. She smiled, met his gaze and he smiled back.

Before she knew it, she was standing beside him. Sarah took Harry to the side to watch over him. They had not been able to invite many, but Minerva was there, as were Alastor and Kingsley. Severus was smiling when they joined hands, his dark eyes full of love and pride and desire all at once.

They exchanged the traditional vows and went back up the aisle together as a married couple.