SAVE MY HEART FOR YOU
Summary: You don't give up on people you truly love. Whether they are in your life or stand on the edge of your heart, you want them to be happy. This is the truest kind of love because it gives more than it ever receives."
― Shannon L. Alder
Chapter Ten: We're so close to reaching that famous happy end, And almost believing, this one's not pretend
"I'm not in search of sanctity, sacredness, purity; these things are found after this life, not in this life; but in this life I search to be completely human: to feel, to give, to take, to laugh, to get lost, to be found, to dance, to love and to lust, to be so human."
― C. JoyBell C.
He knocks gently on Bella's door.
He hears the sound of her turning pages, probably from one of her unrealistic romance novels, and the quiet sniffles. He can smell the salty scent of her tears. He knocks again, louder than before.
"I'm fine, Dad. I just want to be alone right now," he hears her say, "Edward and I just had an argument. I'm not calling off my …" she trails off as she opens the door and sees him standing there, with a sheepish smile on his face.
Her eyes are rimmed with red and her cheeks were still wet. She's wearing another outfit that Alice must picked for her; a dark-blue knee-length skirt, a white pearl-button blouse and a black cardigan.
"What are you doing here, Jacob?" she asks, wiping her cheek with the back of her hand.
"Charlie called me." Jacob says, and Bella blows out a frustrated breath.
"Of course he did," she mutters angrily under her breath.
"But I was already coming to see you anyway."
"You were?" Bella questions, looking surprised.
Jacob nods.
"I was worried about you. I know that Cullen might have been mad at you for what happened the other night and I don't want to come between you and Edward. I know that he has a habit of…" he trails off, trying to find a way to say this without offending her. "Acting irrational when it comes to you hanging with me,"
Bella shakes her head.
"We talked it through. He's just a little insecure about our…friendship. But he should trust me. I'm not just going to jump into bed with you every time we have a disagreement," she says and when Jacob gives her a smug look and opens his mouth, to inform her that she did in fact hop into bed with him, she glares at him, "You know what I mean."
"So, did he throw you out?" Jacob asks, seeing her suitcase laying on the bed, with clothes spilling out of it.
Bella follows Jacob's gaze and laughs.
"No, I just…I wanted to spend more time with Charlie," she lies quickly.
Honestly, she just needed some space. Edward was constantly hovering over her shoulder, giving her suspicious looks. Alice was treating her more like a pet than a friend; dressing her up and telling her how to sit, talk, eat…it was driving her crazy. Jasper wouldn't get within ten feet of her, something about it being too tempting. Esme was okay but she kept reminding Bella of her own pregnant mother who Edward wouldn't let her go visit because it was "Too dangerous with the threat of the Volturi looming."
She talks to her mom everyday on the phone and sends her emails but it doesn't feel the same as being there with her.
Jacob knows she's lying but decides not to pry.
"Alright, so everything's cool?" Jacob questions and Bella nods.
"Everything is perfect." Bella fibs, "Anyway, now that you know that I'm fine, you can go home." She starts to close her door but he stops her her, his hand holding her wrist.
"Wait," Jacob says. "I wanted to talk to you,"
"About what?" Bella asks, and Jacob gives a pointed look towards the stairs where Charlie is probably eavesdropping.
Bella moves aside and allows Jacob into her room. Jacob sits on her bed and Bella sits beside him.
"Bella, you once told me that I know you better than anyone. Do you remember that?" Jacob looks deeply in her eyes as he waits for her answer.
"I remember," Bella mumbles. "Why?"
"Because I want you to stop lying to me," Jacob states and Bella's eyes widen.
"What?"
"I want you to stop lying to me. If you don't want to tell me something then just say that you don't want to talk about it, okay?"
Bella feels her throat go dry and she tentatively nods. Jacob pats her on the shoulder and gives her a half-smile.
"Now that we've got that out of the way," Jacob muses and reaches in his back pocket, "I got you something,"
He hands Bella an envelope and she opens it. Inside is a ticket to Phoenix.
"H-how did you-?" Bella trembles, staring at the ticket in her hand.
"I had a lot save up and I had to do a few odd jobs here and there but it was worth it," Jacob smiles. "I know how much you wanted to see your mo-" and before he can finish Bella is in his arms and he can feel her heart beating against his chest.
"Edward thinks it's too dangerous to see her," she whispers into his shoulder, "He thinks I'll bring trouble her way and the rest of the Cullens agree but I… I've always taken care of my mom. I know she has Phil but I just…I want to see her and I want to be there for here. I just wish he..."
"Understood," Jacob finishes for her, stroking her hair and Bella nods.
Sometimes she wishes that Edward was more like Jacob…but there will only ever be one Jacob Black and that's more than enough for her.
It's Bella's engagement party.
Jacob showed up with Seth, dressed casually in his jeans and T-shirt, even though Seth had tried to convince him to dress up more.
He wasn't here to blend in or talk to any leeches.
He's just here to see Bella. He hasn't seen her since he gave her the tickets to Phoenix three weeks ago. She went to visit her mom and they emailed but it wasn't the same as seeing her in person.
He spots her talking to her friends from school, the only non-vampires besides him, Seth, and Bella.
Charlie had refused to come in protest and Phil was worried about the effects the plane would have on René's pregnancy.
Bella's wearing a short, blue, cocktail dress that stops mid-thigh with a sewn-beaded bodice and high-heeled, silver, stilettos. Her hair is pulled up into a bun and her hand is on Edward's arm.
She doesn't look like his Bells anymore.
Jacob starts to make his way to her but Alice catches his arm.
"Oh, No," she exclaims, "You're not coming in here looking like that" she wrinkles her nose in distaste, "This is a black-tie event,"
"Well I don't have any formal wear so…" Jacob tries to brush past her and she tightens her grip on his arm.
"Come with me," she demands and drags him out of the room.
"Where are we going?" Jacob asks, digging his feet in the ground and trying to snatch his arm back.
"I brought an extra suit for Emmet, but it'll have to do for you," Alice explains.
"I don't want a suit!" Jacob growls and Alice digs her fingernails in his arms.
"No suit, no party," she pauses, a smirk on her lips, "And you wouldn't want to disappoint Bella, right?"
Jacob growls under his breath and reluctantly lets her take him away.
….
Jacob fiddles with his suit. It's tight, itchy, and uncomfortable to move in. He tugs at the cufflinks and Alice slaps his hands away.
"Stop that!" she orders, and straights his tie, "You almost look less like an uncultured mutt in that outfit."
Jacob glared at her.
"Is that supposed to be a compliment?" he asks and Alice tilts her head to the side.
"Don't push your luck, dog," she says and opens the door to the dining area.
Jacob looks around for Bella and Alice flicks his ears.
"Ow!" Jacob growls, rubbing his ear, "What was that for?"
"You better behave yourself, Dog," Alice hisses and then almost shoves him into his chair. "And try not to get your fleas and slobber on any of the guests,"
"I'm not making any promises, bubblegum-bitch," Jacob taunts back and Alice huffs before going off to greet people at the door.
Jacob rest his chin on his palms and scans the room for Bella.
He sees her talking to Mike Newton and chuckles at the love-sick look on his face. He hopes he hadn't looked that pathetic back when he was chasing Bella.
Bella gives Mike an uncomfortable smile and walks away from him. She looks around the room and her shoulders droop.
Jacob wonders who she's looking for.
He glances over at Alice, who is talking to the Blonde-leech, and smirks.
"Hey, Bella!" he calls loud, attracting attention to himself and making Alice's lips curl up in a silent snarl.
Bella's face lights up and her head snaps in his direction. Jacob waves her over and she takes the seat next to him.
"You came," she breathes, amazed.
"Of course I did," Jacob states and Bella smiles.
"I didn't think you were going to make it," Bella admits and Jacob places his hand on her shoulder.
"Well, here I am," Jacob jokes and Bella giggles.
They talk for a while. Bella tells him about her visit to her mom and how pulls out an ultrasound photo from her little purse. Jacob listens and makes comments. Jacob makes jokes and Bella laughs. After a while, Bella goes quiet, frowning as she watches Edward mingle with the guest.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Jacob asks, after the third time Bella shifts in her seat.
"Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?" Bella asks, looking away from Edward and meeting Jacob's eyes.
"It's just...You don't seem happy."
"It's just stress. The wedding date is getting closer and there are a lot of things that aren't ready yet," Bella says and forces a smile.
"I told you not to lie to me," Jacob states, giving her a look and she lets the fake smile drop.
"I'm sorry," she says and Jacob smiles.
"That's okay, Bella. Here," he places his hand on top of hers and Bella's face turns scarlet before she pulls her hand back.
"What are you doing?" she squeaks, glancing around to make sure that Edward hadn't seen that.
He kept making comments about how often Bella and Jacob touch each other. He said they did it "Too often to be just friends,"
She catches Edward turning his head back to his guest and knows that he's probably going to mention this later.
Jacob smirks.
"I'm de-stressing you," he states and when Bella doesn't move back he takes her hand again and turns it over.
His fingers pressed gently into her hand and glides along her palm. He traces the line arching from the top and then starts writing invisible words on her palm.
After a while of Jacob writing on her hand, Bella's frown fades into a soft smile.
"Why are you doing that?" she asks.
"Doing what?" Jacob replies, and Bella laughs.
"Why are you writing on my hand?"
Jacob shrugs and let's go of her hand.
"It made you laugh, didn't it?"
"What were you writing?"
"Secrets that aren't meant for innocent ears," Jacob jokes, trying to sound mysterious and Bella socks him in the shoulder.
"Tell me!" she demands.
"Guess," Jacob replies.
"Was it something mean?"
"Nope," he says, popping the 'p'.
"Something dirty?" Bella mouths, glancing in Edward's direction.
"Nu Uh,"
"Come on," Bella whines, "Tell me,"
"No, you'll have to figure it out later,"
Bella glares at him for a few seconds and then her face twitches and she giggles. Jacob chuckles with her.
"I'm glad you decided to come," she says, once the laughter fades.
"Why wouldn't I come?"
Bella shrugs.
"This doesn't seem like your type of crowd," Bella states and looks at all the vampires in the room.
"Doesn't seem like your type of crowd either," Jacob mumbles then cringes, "Sorry…I didn't mean that,"
Bella's shakes her head, unaffected.
"You're right. This isn't my type of crowd. I don't fit in here next to all these sophisticated, gorgeous people," she looks down at her glass of non-alcoholic champagne, "I'm so plain and human," she spits the last word out with such bitterness that Jacob feels slightly offended.
He was human once.
"But one day I'm going to be able to fit in here. I'll be dazzling and superior and strong and-" Bella's eyes light up as she talks about her life as a vampire.
"Bella, there's nothing plain about you," Jacob interrupts, determinedly and Bella looks at him, curiously. "You're already beautiful and strong, and dazzling just the way you are,"
"Of course you think that. You love me," Bella mutters, rolling her eyes and then slaps a hand over her mouth, grimacing.
She knew that was probably a sore subject for Jacob but Jacob just throws back his head and laughs, attracting annoyed glances from Edward and their guests. Bella ducks her head away from the attention.
"Yeah, I do love you, Bells. But that doesn't make anything I said less true," he says, "You're perfect just the way you are."
"Thank you, Jake," she says, beaming.
"Don't thank me for telling the truth," Jacob states with a grin.
A couple of vampires pass by their table, wrinkling their noses in disgust and giving Jacob unfriendly looks. Jacob returns their looks with a sneer of his own and they move away.
Bella wonders how vampires and werewolves can hate each other so much.
Will she stop liking Jacob once she becomes a vampire? Will his pleasant smell of sunshine and peppermint repulse her?
Will she repulse him?
Bella feels cold inside.
"Jake, are we going to be okay after this?" Bella asks, anxiously.
"After what?" Jacob questions, pulling his eyes away from the vampires he was glaring at.
"After I become a vampire. I know you say that we can still be friends…but are you sure?" Bella asks and Jacob hesitates.
"I'm not going to lie and say it won't be difficult," Jacob admits. "I am a werewolf and you will be my um… natural enemy," Jacob mumbles the last part and Bella gives Jacob a hopeless look.
"But I think that we can make it work even if it has to be from a distance," Jacob tries to give her a reassuring smile.
"Right," Bella mutters, feeling disheartened, "Distance,"
"Don't be sad, Bells. You know, I've always care about you. no matter what you smell like or what form you're in,"
"For real?"
"Sure, sure,"
"And you don't think I'm making a mistake?" Bella asks and Jacob's hand clenches into a fists.
"Bella I-" he doesn't want to lie to her.
"Just tell me you can be happy for me." She twists the engagement ring on her left finger and they both look at it.
Bella looks back up at Jacob, her face a mask of uncertainty, and he reaches out to brush a strand of hair, that had come lose from her bun, from her face.
"I am happy for you, Bella," he says and sighs, "Just promise to keep in touch after all this is over."
"I promise,"
Jacob wraps his arm around her shoulders, pulls her into a sideway hug in their seats, and gives her a kiss on the top of her head, just as Edward comes over to their table.
"Bella, would you care to dance?" he asks and Bella glances at Jacob.
"Go, I'll be fine," Jacob reassures her and she gives him a smile before taking Edward's hand and letting him lead her to the dance floor.
Edward and Bella flow into each other's arms, their heads bent together, Edward's shirt matching Bella's dress, Bella stumbles and blushes, embarrassed by her ungracefulness. Edward gives her a patronizing smile, blames it on her humanity, and lifts her so that her feet rest on top of his.
Jacob fights back a snicker.
It kind of reminds him of when a little girl learns how to dance with their father.
He sits at the table alone, sipping his non-alcoholic champagne, wishing it was something stronger, his eyes never leaving Bella as she and Edward twirl around the floor.
She doesn't look very happy and Jacob wonders if that will change once she feels like she belongs.
The band starts another song and Edward tries to tempt Bella into another dance.
Jacob watches them for a long moment before he pushes himself up and puts his drink down. He straightens his suit jacket and makes his way over to the couple.
"Mind if I cut in?" he asks and Bella gives him a grateful look.
Edward glares at him.
"Yes, I do mind," he hisses and Bella gives him a sharp look.
"Just one dance," Jacob says, "Then I have to leave,"
Edward's eyes light up, while Bella's shoulders droop.
"Well if it's a farewell dance…" Edward trails off and leaves them alone.
Bella takes his hand and he places her other hand on his shoulder. He puts his free hand on the small of her back and they move to the rhythm of the music.
"You're really leaving?" Bella asks, and Jacob smiles sadly.
"There's really no point in me staying," he says and pulls them around in a slow circle, "You should mingle with your guests,"
"It's more fun when you're here with me," Bella mumbles, laying her head on Jacob's chest as they sway.
"I'm glad you invited me," Jacob says, softly. "Though it still feels weird to see you dressed up like this,"
Bella laughs.
"It feels weird to me too. But it's just something I'm going to have to get used to,"
"It's something we'll both have to get used to," Jacob replies and Bella pulls back her head to look up at him.
His lips are stretched into a soft smile but his eyes look unbearably sad.
"Jacob, I-" Bella starts and Jacob lifts her off her feet and spins them around.
"Hush, Bells," he begs tenderly, "Let's just…let's just dance, please?"
Bella nods and lays her head on his chest again, listening to his heartbeat. Jacob rest his chin on top of her head and closes his eyes.
Edward watches them from across the room, his hand clenched into a fist behind his back.
Author's Note: The song in the Tile of this chapter is "So Close" by JON MCLAUGHLIN.
That's also the song that Bella and Jacob dance to for those who are curious.