A/N: So first off, I said there was going to be another chapter before 'Royal's News', but I lied ;) The first part of this chapter turned out to be way shorter than I thought it would be, so I combined the two together. Second, I DON'T own the second half of this chapter! Of course, I changed names and a couple little things, but you can find the original NM outtake on SM's website. While you're at it, check out all her outtakes (if you haven't) because they're awesome.

See ya!

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If I'd been under the foolish impression that putting more distance between me and Beau would lessen the pain, I had been wrong.

Every mile that expanded between us exacerbated the pain to a degree I hadn't thought possible. It was only a matter of time before I returned to Forks—this fact was more pronounced than ever. Just the thought of it brought brief respite from the agony. Everything in me, every cell, every fiber, every inch of desiccated vein and muscle, strained toward the small, dreary town in the opposite corner of the world.

But I had to do this first.

When I disembarked my flight in Sao Paulo, it was an immense relief just to catch a hint of Victor's scent. Just a single note of it, intermixed with the people, jet fuel, heat and large machines. But it was enough. Enough to distract me, if only for a moment.

And then, as I moved through the immense throngs of people, Beau appeared at my side, sliding between the others, keeping pace with me just fine.

"You think you'll catch him."

I didn't answer, only kept my gaze fixed ahead as I moved, just a little too fast, toward the exit.

"Archie said it himself—he sees you here. Back with me… Why is it so hard for you to listen to him?"

I breezed through the automatic doors, out into the pre-dawn swelter of Southern Brazil. The streets were busy, disregarding the time of night, but I ignored the waiting cabs and headed away from the lights of civilization.

"I have to do this," I pleaded with him, "Please—I'll come back to you. Just let me make you safe first."

"I'd be safer if you were here."

"No," I snapped the words through gritted teeth, and the visible pain on his expression lanced through me.

Part of me realized I was losing it—my grip on reality. Part of me realized that the apparitions had taken on a physical entity, a force all its own. But I was not willing to let the hallucinations go. It lessened the pain, having Beau with me—even an imagined, ghostly form.

So I hadn't gone completely mad, after all. I was aware they were hallucinations—but that didn't stop me from talking back to them. I pushed my legs harder as rural Brazil expanded before me, but still, Beau's imagined form clung to me with as much persistence as he always had.

.

The encroaching light of sunrise had forced me to find seclusion that first morning. When night finally fell again and I was able to return to the original point of Victor's evidence, the scent had vanished.

This panicked me severely for a brief instant before I came to the summarization that scents faded quickly in high-traffic areas such as this one. After all, I was in the busiest airport in the country.

Sun-filled day after sun-filled day marched by, with no resulting leads. I supposed I could have been exerting more effort to pick up a trace—listening to radio broadcasts, scouring local papers, finding a WiFi connection so I could research that way. But the unrelenting memories had found a stronger hold on me, despite the distance I had put between me and Beau. Oftentimes, I didn't come to my senses until half the night had passed, and most of my opportunity for picking up a lead had evaded me.

Mostly, I sat in some dark, dank corner or another, daydreaming of days gone by. Remembering, with perfect clarity, every word he'd spoken, every gentle thud of his heart, every smooth passage of his sweet breath… I had thought, over time, that the pain of the recall would dull in severity—despite the fact that the lucidity would not. But I was surprised, when it seemed the growing distance put even more strain on my mangled and broken heart.

I kept waiting for something to change, for something to get better, to find some glimmer of hope in an ever-darkening world. But nothing came. Nothing changed, and as the sun continued its circuitous revolutions around the earth, I found sitting still was far easier than gathering the motivation to move.

Of course, I was forced to find a different dwelling to evade the sun every few days. This, I felt, kept me mobile enough to keep from petrifying. I felt it was a very real possibility, especially in the face of my paralyzing thoughts. Always the same—the same words, the same expressions on his face, the same warmth of his arms around me, the same scent of his hair, his skin, his breath…

On the nights I found the barest of motivation to rouse myself from whichever hiding spot I had found myself in, I wandered, aimless. The changing cities blurred into one, faceless distortion. I did not see the humans. I did not hear their voices, I did not feel their warmth.

And every second of every moment, I fought with every iota of self-control I had, to resist the urge to return to the beacon of light in Beau's window.

Maybe, I forced myself to admit, Archie had been right. I could not fight this urge for much longer. The desire to return swelled, and the desire to locate Victor faded steadily. I had not had any leads in well over a number of weeks—I could have counted the days if I'd felt the need to, but I hadn't.

Time pressed on, an inexorable chamber of agony and affliction. I did not discover any more leads on Victor, not that I was trying very hard. I wandered without ambition, or a sat in a gloomy spot, arguing and pleading with myself to just hang on… But onto what?

.

My cell phone, in my pocket, vibrated again. It was the twenty-fifth time in twenty-four hours. I thought about opening it, at least seeing who was trying to contact me. Perhaps it was important. Maybe Carine needed me.

I thought about it, but I did not move.

I wasn't precisely sure where I was. Some dark attic crawl space, full of rats and spiders. The spiders ignored me, and the rats gave me a wide berth. The air was thick with the heavy scents of cooking oil, rancid meat, human sweat, and the nearly solid layer of pollution that was actually visible in the humid air, like a black film over everything. Below me, four stories of a rickety ghetto tenement teemed with life. I didn't bother to separate the thoughts from the voices—they made a big, loud Portuguese clamor that I didn't listen to. I just let the sounds bounce off me. Meaningless. All of it was meaningless. My very existence was meaningless.

The whole world was meaningless.

My forehead pressed against my knees, and I wondered how much longer I would be able to stand this. Maybe it was hopeless. Maybe, if my attempt was doomed to failure anyway, I should stop torturing myself and just go back...

The idea was so powerful, so healing—like the words contained a strong anesthetic, washing away the mountain of pain I was buried under—that it made me gasp, made me dizzy.

I could leave now, I could go back.

Beau's apparition, always with me, always by my side, smiled at me.

It was a smile of welcome, of forgiveness, but it did not have the affect my subconscious probably intended it to have.

Of course I could not go back. What was my pain, after all, in comparison to his happiness? He should be able to smile, free from fear and danger. Free from a longing for a soulless future. He deserved better than that. He deserved better than me. When he left this world, he would go to a place that was forever barred to me, no matter how I conducted myself here.

The idea of that final separation was so much more intense than the pain I already had. My body trembled with it. When Beau went on to the place where he belonged and I never could, I would not linger here behind. There must be oblivion. There must be relief.

That was my hope, but there were no guarantees. Even when I was ash, would I somehow still feel the torture of his loss?

I shuddered again.

And I'd promised. I'd promised him that I wouldn't haunt his life again, bring my black demons into it. I wasn't going back on my word. Couldn't I do anything right by him? Anything at all?

The idea of returning to the cloudy little town that would always be my true home on this planet snaked through my thoughts again.

Just to check. Just to see that he's well and safe and happy. Not to interfere. He would never know I was there... I could be as discreet as a ghost, as temporary as a breeze passing through…

No.

The phone vibrated again.

I growled softly in frustration.

I could use the distraction, I supposed. I flipped the phone open and registered the numbers with the first shock I'd felt in half a year.

Why would Royal be calling me? He was the one person who was probably enjoying my absence.

There must be something truly wrong if he needed to talk to me. Suddenly worried for my family, I hit the send button.

"What?" I asked tensely.

"Oh, wow. Don't act so happy to hear from me." As soon as I heard his tone, I knew my family was fine. He must just be bored.

It was hard to guess at his motives without his thoughts as a guide. Royal had never made much sense to me. His impulses were usually founded on the most convoluted kinds of logic.

I snapped the phone shut.

"Leave me alone," I whispered to nobody.

Of course the phone vibrated again at once.

Would he keep calling until he passed along whatever message he was planning to annoy me with? Probably. It would take months for him to grow tired of this game. I toyed with the idea of letting him hit redial for the next half year...and then sighed and answered the phone again.

"Spit it out, Royal, for God's sake."

Royal rushed through the words. "I thought you would want to know that Archie is in Forks."

I opened my eyes and stared at the rotten wooden beams three inches from my face.

"What?" My voice was flat, emotionless.

"You know how Archie is—thinks he knows everything. Just like you." Royal laughed humorlessly. His voice had a nervous edge, like he was suddenly unsure about what he was doing.

But my rage made it hard to care what Royal's problem was.

Archie had sworn to me that he would follow my lead in regards to Beau, though he did not agree with my decision. He'd promised that he would leave Beau alone for as long as I did. Clearly, he'd thought I would eventually fold to the pain. Maybe he was right about that.

But I hadn't. Yet. So what was he doing in Forks? I wanted to wring his scrawny neck. Not that Jessamine would let me get that close to him, once she caught a whiff of the fury blowing out of me...

"Edythe?"

I didn't answer. I pressed two fingertips into my temple, wondering if it were possible for a vampire to get a migraine.

On the other hand, if Archie had already gone back...

No. No. No. No.

I'd made a promise. Beau deserved a life. I'd made a promise. Beau deserved a life.

I repeated the words like a mantra, trying to clear my head of the seductive image of Beau's window, a beacon of brightness against the dark night. The doorway to my only sanctuary.

No doubt I would have to grovel, were I to return. I didn't mind that. I could happily spend the next decade on my knees if I were with him.

No, no, no.

"Edythe? Don't you even care why Archie is there?"

"Not particularly."

Royal's voice turned a trifle smug now, pleased, no doubt, that he'd forced a response from me. "Well, he's not exactly breaking the rules. I mean, you only warned us to stay away from Beau, right? The rest of Forks doesn't matter."

I blinked my eyes slowly. Beau had left? My thoughts circled around the unexpected idea. He hadn't graduated yet, so he must have returned to his mother. That was good. He should live in sunshine. It was good that he'd been able to put the shadows behind him.

I tried to swallow, and couldn't.

Royal chuckled lowly, apprehensive once more. "So you don't need to be angry with Archie."

"Then why did you call me, Royal, if not to get Archie in trouble? Why are you bothering me? Ugh!"

"Hold up!" he said, sensing, rightly, that I was about to hang up again. "That's not why I called."

"Then why? Tell me quickly, and then leave me alone."

"Well..." he hesitated.

"Tell me, Royal. You have ten seconds."

"I think you should come home," Royal said in a rush. "I'm tired of Earnest grieving and Carine never laughing. You should feel ashamed at what you've done to them. Eleanor misses you all the time and it's getting on my nerves. You have a family. Grow up and think about something besides yourself."

"Interesting advice, Royal. Let me tell you a little story about a pot and a kettle..."

"I am thinking about them, unlike you. Don't you care how much you've hurt Earnest, if no one else? He loves you more than the rest of us, and you know that. Come home."

I didn't answer.

"I thought once this whole Forks thing was finished, you would get over it."

"Forks was never the problem, Royal," I said, trying to be patient. What he'd said about Earnest and Carine had struck a chord. "Just because… Beau" —it was hard to say his name out loud— "has moved to Florida, it doesn't mean that I'm able... Look, Royal. I really am sorry, but, trust me, it wouldn't make anyone happier if I were there."

"Um..."

There it was, that nervous hesitation again.

"What is it that you're not telling me, Royal? Is Earnest all right? Is Carine—"

"They're fine. It's just...well, I didn't say that Beau moved."

I didn't speak. I ran over our conversation in my head. Yes, Royal had said that Beau had moved. He'd said: ...you only warned us to stay away from Beau, right? The rest of Forks doesn't matter. And then: I thought once this whole Forks thing was finished... So Beau wasn't in Forks. What did he mean, Beau hadn't moved?

Then Royal was rushing through his words again, saying them almost angrily this time.

"They didn't want to tell you, but I think that's stupid. The quicker you get over this, the sooner things can go back to normal. Why let you mope around the dark corners of the world when there's no need for it? You can come home now. We can be a family again. It's over."

My mind seemed to be broken. I couldn't make sense of his words. It was like there was something very, very obvious he was telling me, but I had no idea what it was. My brain played with the information, making strange patterns of it. Nonsensical.

"Edythe?"

"I don't understand what you are saying, Royal."

A long pause, the length of a few human heartbeats.

"He's dead, Edythe."

A longer pause.

"I'm...sorry. You have a right to know, though, I think. Beau threw himself off a cliff two days ago. Archie saw it, but it was too late to do anything. I think he would have helped, though, broken his word, if there had been time. He went back to do what he could for Charlie. He thought it was only right, seeing as—"

The phone went dead. It took me a few seconds to realize that I'd shut the power off.

I sat in the dusty darkness for a long, frozen space. It was like time had ended. Like the universe had stopped.

Slowly, moving like an old woman, I turned my phone back on and dialed the one number I'd promise myself I would never call again.

If it was him, I would hang up. If it was Charlie, I'd get the information I needed through subterfuge. I'd prove Royal's sick little joke wrong, and then go back to my nothingness.

"Swan residence," answered a voice I'd never heard before. A woman's husky voice, rich, but still youthful.

I didn't pause to think about the implications of that.

"This is Dr. Carine Cullen," I said, perfectly imitating my mother's voice. "May I please speak to Charlie Swan?"

"He's not here," the voice responded, and I was dimly surprised by the anger in it. The words were almost a snarl. But that didn't matter.

"Well, where is he then?" I demanded, getting impatient.

There was a short pause, as if the stranger wanted to withhold the information from me.

"He's at the funeral," the girl finally answered. I shut the phone again.

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A/N: Bam. Boom. Done. Expect the next one soon, because I just have to proofread and edit it (I'm maybe like 3 chapters ahead, rough draft wise). See you next time, lovelies! Leave a review if you have a spare moment!