Methodology

"Come on, Bones, come to bed, will ya?"

"Booth, I told you when you insisted that we get this television that there would be times that I would insist on watching certain programs. And this is one of those times."

"But I had a really bad day, and I've been missing you all day."

"If it's my presence that you desire, then feel free to join me here. But try not to interrupt the program too much."

Booth sighed and plopped down on the couch next to her. He might as well see who he was playing second fiddle to this time. She promptly snuggled up next to him, but he could tell that most of her attention remained on the big-screen TV. "Oh, these guys! This is a pretty good show."

"Yes, it is. Dr. Hodgins told me that I would most likely appreciate this show, especially when they address legends regarding the human body, and he was correct."

"And is this one of those episodes?"

"Yes, it involves decapitation. You know, Booth, for non-scientists, and given the dramatic and technical constraints of the television medium, the methodology of this program is quite remarkable. I can see why Dr. Hodgins recommended them."

"Non-scientists, Bones? They seem pretty scientific to me."

"I did some checking. The bald one with the large mustache has two Doctorates in engineering, but both are honorary degrees. He only holds a Bachelor's, and that's in Russian. The more excitable one, with the receding reddish hair, also has an honorary degree, but apart from that he's an art school dropout."

Booth was impressed. "That's high praise from you, Bones. Usually, you're far more concerned with credentials."

"Yes, I am. But it is also a scientific truism that reality always trumps theory, and these two have exceptional practical skills and knowledge and experiences that they apply to theory in quite thorough fashion."

"Maybe you ought to see if you can visit the show, maybe even do a guest appearance on it. Or invite them to the Jeffersonian, maybe shoot an episode there."

Bones pulled back to look him in the eye. "Booth, that would be singularly inappropriate. The Jeffersonian is a government-funded scientific institute, and should not be used for popular entertainment."

"Talk it over with Cam. She might see the appeal - raising the profile of the scientific aspect of the Institute, and not just the museum part, might be a good way to increase support and funding. After all, the show would be some great PR."

"Even if Cam approved - and I doubt she would - I have no way to get in touch with the show's producers. They have no reason to take my calls or e-mails."

"Oh, so you need an in? No problem there. I'd be willing to bet that Dr. Benson Jude The Science Dude knows them, and would put in a good word for you."

Bones considered that. "My appearance on that show was rather enjoyable, and I believe beneficial to the Institute, the viewers of the program, and my own personal standing. Perhaps it would be worth at least opening contact."

"Yeah, sure, Bones. Go for it... hey, is that a pig carcass?"

"In many ways, the pig is a superb analogue for the human body. Do you recall the time Dr. Hodgins and Zach fed one into a wood chipper?"

"I remember hearing about that."

"Sometimes they use pigs, sometimes they use actual bones suspended in specially-cast ballistic gel. In this case, I think the pig is the more accurate option."

"You know, Booth, that woman reminds me a bit of Angela."

"Really? I don't see it."

"No, not physically. But they're both artists who bring their artistic skills and sensibilities to the pursuit of science."

"I see what you mean. And those two guys - which one's Hodgins?"

"There are elements of him in both. The Asian one has his intellect, while the taller one has the adventurous attitude."

"And that would make us..."

"I'm definitely the bald one, Booth. He's more intellectual and restrained, while the red-headed one is more emotionally driven and relies more on instinct - so he's you."

"And Cam would be..."

Bones considered. "The director, or perhaps the narrator. Someone we never see on screen." Just then, the decapatiation investigation began. "Now hush. This could be quite educational."

Booth settled back on the couch, and Bones snuggled back against him. "Now hush, Booth. They're starting the analysis."

Booth found his ardor was significantly dampened. Oh, well. Things could be worse... and maybe, just maybe, he might get some autographs for Parker if Bones did get to work with the guys...