Monday, October 14th 2013. Hunnigan woke up feeling worse than she ever remembered feeling. It wasn't like she'd never had the flu before, but this was turning out to be a particularly nasty disease.
Hell, what if I'm infected by one of the many zombie-viruses and don't even know it? Why do all diseases have to have flu-like symptoms? It's so unfair, one can never be sure which is it, Hunnigan thought agitatedly. Realistically, she didn't think she was turning into a zombie. She'd been feeling ill for over a week now, she was quite certain she would've turned by now if that was the case. Nope, this was a nasty case of the common cold that just refused to burn away no matter how valiantly her body attempted to banish it with high fevers that rendered her practically unconscious.
She knew she should've been resting, but how could she? All the changes she'd initiated just recently regarding naming someone for her job and reviewing the F.O.S. agents' efficiency reports, she couldn't just drop it now and say she'd get back to it next week. Or next month at this rate.
She'd been to the doctor and her diet consisted nowadays mainly of pain killers, vitamins, supplements and what have you. The doctor hadn't been exactly helpful, he'd merely told her to drink fluids and rest.
Drink fluids... as opposed to what, drinking solids? What a stupid piece of advice, she almost growled and sat up slowly, lowering her feet onto the floor over the edge of the bed. It was five-thirty in the morning and she should've been sleeping, but she couldn't fall back to sleep. She'd been working until half past one last night before she'd finally given up when the headache and uncomfortable stuffyness of her nose had gotten to be too much. At least she'd settled for working from home (but only after Leon had quite literally dragged her out of the office).
"Fuck," she grunted after recovering from a coughing fit which made her entire body hurt, all of her muscles already sore and aching from having coughed so much and due to the fever. Her everything hurt, literally.
She stood up slowly and began heading to the bathroom with a distinct gingerness in her step. She blew her nose, brushed her teeth and decided to take a long hot shower, hoping it would wash some of the horrible feeling away. It worked... but only for a minute. She couldn't smell anything, but she was certain her bedroom had the stench of stagnated sickness, something similar to a closed hospital room. She didn't want to breathe it in.
Hunnigan dragged an extra blanket and a pillow into the living room and tossed them onto the couch, proceeding to make herself a comfortable little nest there, with her tissues, her phone, drinks, laptop and everything else neatly arranged on the coffee table so that she wouldn't have to move unless she absolutely had to.
What was it that grandpa always said would cure the cold? Dunk a pair of wool socks into vodka and go to sleep with the socks on your feet and you'll be fine in the morning... or something like that. I should try that next, Hunnigan mused then as she waited for her computer to connect to the agency VPN.
She was pleasantly surprised when she saw she only had about forty unread emails this morning. Usually the number was around a hundred; most of it just agents talking back and forth amongst themselves, having forgotten to drop her from the list of recipients after having delivered the message originally intended for her too.
She dug into the long list of candidates (and any grievances her field agents had brought to her attention regarding their support agents nominated for her job) and began from the bottom. It seemed that agent Warren was not popular among the field agents.
"What did you do to piss them off?" Hunnigan muttered as she went to look for Warren's file and work history. She'd never worked with him so she couldn't say anything on a personal level.
"Well, of course," she sighed then when she realized the file was nowhere to be found. It was undoubtedly one of the many files that had been lost when she'd had to destroy the database. The physical copy of it should still exist somewhere in the archives at the agency headquarters... but to get to it, she would need to leave her comfortable nest.
"This sucks," she hissed. It did occur to her that she could just call someone and ask them to bring the file, but at the same time she didn't think it would be fair. She knew it was silly and that none of her agents would see it like that, but asking someone to run errands for her, even when she had a legitimate reason for it, was just somehow... inappropriate. To her that would send a message that said "I'm the boss and you are here to do things for me", and she didn't want that, especially not since she didn't really consider herself their boss, she was just an agent like everyone else.
Hunnigan stood up and held onto the backrest of the couch when she felt dizzy. She blew out a breath and reached for her suit jacket, realizing this would not work; she was feeling exhausted and was almost out of breath simply by getting dressed, she wasn't going anywhere.
"What the hell?" she frowned then when someone knocked on her door. She hoped it was her fairy godmother with a pair of wool socks and bottle of vodka.
Helena tapped her fingertips against the thick folder that was sealed with a blue strip of tape that contained the agency's logo. She rang the doorbell and waited patiently. When Leon had delegated this little errand to Helena (both of them knowing he was trying to do her a favor by forcing her to face Hunnigan, but Helena wasn't sure if she hated or loved him for it right now), he had said Hunnigan was sick, so Helena didn't want to rush her. Or risk waking her if she'd possibly fallen asleep, surely the file could... well, no, it could not wait; Hunnigan's files could never wait as far as Hunnigan was concerned.
"Oh. Hello," Alexis said as she answered the door and Helena almost swallowed her tongue at the sight of the redhead.
"I, uh, I have... this is... Hunnigan wanted this file, so I just..." she stammered.
"Okay? I can take it," Alexis shrugged and held out her hand, a frown forming onto her face slowly when Helena didn't hand the folder over.
"Uh... I need to give to Hunnigan directly. Y'know, chain of custody and all," Helena explained awkwardly and tapped at the red marking on the brown folder, the stamp stating that the contents were confidential and that you needed a security clearance to view them. Frankly, Helena had no idea if the chain of custody really even mattered or not, but she wanted to see Hunnigan, and that meant she needed to get past the ex.
"Of course," Alexis then nodded and stepped aside from the door, inviting Helena in and gesturing toward the living room with her hand.
"Thanks," Helena muttered and went over as Alexis returned to the kitchen.
Hunnigan didn't seem to be even fully conscious at this point. Her skin was damp with sweat and her lips dried by her hot breath passing them as she had to breathe through her mouth. She didn't look like she was okay at all, and as much as Helena hated the fact that Alexis was here, she was glad that Hunnigan didn't have to be alone.
Now, if I could only just get rid of Alexis and stay myself, that would be great, she mused, but knew that would never happen. Alexis's presence here alone spoke volumes of what the situation was; if Hunnigan had wanted Helena, she would've called her. Instead, she'd evidently called Alexis.
"Helena," Hunnigan murmured, regretting having spoken aloud when she had a coughing fit, the hacking making her feel like her chest and throat were shattering into pieces.
"Don't... talk," Helena said as she had to watch helplessly when the other woman worked through the fit, inhaled deeply and managed to get it under control slowly.
"I'm glad you came," Hunnigan whispered after having lost what little was left of her voice.
"Oh?" Helena quirked an eyebrow, barely managing to keep herself from inquiring that if Hunnigan was glad to see her, why was Alexis here and why had she called Leon about the file and not her... but she bit her tongue. She had no right to question Alexis's presence or Hunnigan's decisions in general.
What Helena didn't know was that Hunnigan had called Leon because she'd tried to keep from making the younger woman feel embarrassed. After her drunken confession regarding her feelings for Hunnigan, things had been... awkward. Hunnigan had gotten the impression that Helena would've preferred not having to deal with her, at least not until it had been long enough for them both to pretend it never happened. If she was honest, Hunnigan didn't really want to pretend and shrug it off, she wanted to talk about it, but as always, in her mind, it wasn't about what she wanted or needed. She didn't want to risk any awkwardness, neither of them could afford walking on eggshells around each other.
"I know what you're thinking," Hunnigan said hoarsely then and shook her head a little.
"Oh," Helena said again, this time the questioning tone gone, replaced by the flat tone of a simple statement.
"She came over this morning to pick up the alimony check and to work out our schedules together, so we'd know which one of us has Levi and when."
"You're not obligated to explain anything to me," Helena scoffed a little, trying to sound nonchalant about it... and failing at it. Hunnigan offered her a small, tired and rueful smile.
"I know I'm not. Still, I wanted you to know."
"Okay. Anyway... here's the fi-"
"Helena..."
"Yes?"
"I can tell you're mad at me."
"Why would I be?" Helena scoffed again.
"Because she's here and you think I invited her here, but I didn't."
"Look, I'm just glad you've got someone looking after you," Helena faked a smile.
"No, you're not."
"Okay, I'm not!" Helena then hissed, "I want to look after you! I want to be the one you call when you need something, not Alexis, not Leon..."
"Did you mean what you said? When you came here the last time?" Hunnigan then asked and Helena lowered her gaze, feeling a blush of embarrassment burn her cheeks as she thought about it.
"What did I say? I talk a lot at times," she tried dismissing but Hunnigan wasn't going to let her off the hook.
"Stop, just stop with the endless sarcasm and joking to deflect the question, and answer me. It's bad enough I have Alexis toying with me like I'm some fucking piece of plastic you can just... I don't need that shit from you too!" Hunnigan whispered hoarsely and agitatedly.
"Calm down... okay... all right..." Helena mumbled quietly and softly. She exhaled deeply as she took a long moment to gather her thoughts.
"It started back in March. I got into the elevator and you were already there, you were touching up your make up or something, I don't know... point is you had your glasses off and you undid your hair, and my heart just leapt and I just stared at you and... it sounds so shallow when I say it like this, but... well, that's when I started falling in love with you. So yeah, I... meant everything I said," Helena confessed slowly.
"Since March?" Hunnigan asked.
"Yeah, so it's not just a stupid little crush," Helena defended her feelings and Hunnigan shrugged one shoulder a little to say maybe it was, maybe it wasn't.
"Why do you want to look after me?" she then continued questioning, realizing this was beginning to sound kind of like some strange job interview.
"Because I care about you... and I don't trust anyone else to look after you as well as I would... or treat you as well as I would. Because I really do love you and I need you to be okay, and the only way I can know for sure that you are okay is by being here for you. You of all people should understand the desire to handle everything yourself," Helena explained and Hunnigan chuckled silently.
"You love me?" she asked, her voice barely more than a whisper, but even then the amused tone was audible and Helena was beginning to feel offended. Obviously Hunnigan still wasn't taking her seriously.
"I do, and apparently you don't believe me and I don't know how to convince you of it. However, I do know that I will not just sit here and have you laugh at my feelings, so if you'll excuse me..." Helena muttered, feeling hurt, annoyed and embarrassed. If Hunnigan wanted to laugh it off, fine, but she should at least have the courtesy to do it behind Helena's back rather than to her face.
That's what I am, that's what my feelings are, just a big, fat joke. I bet she and Alexis have had a proper hardy-har at my stupid confession and... I'm an idiot. I'm such an idiot, Helena thought angrily. Logically thinking, she knew Hunnigan wasn't the type who would make fun of anyone's feelings or make jokes at their expense, but in her angry state of mind, Helena didn't put anything past Hunnigan anymore.
"Don't go," Hunnigan said and reached to grip Helena's wrist.
"I should."
"I don't want you to, I've been wanting to talk to you about-"
"Sorry, I totally forgot good manners and didn't even offer you coffee, would you like some?" Alexis interrupted as she emerged from the kitchen, like it was her duty to offer the guests beverages, like she was still the wife and not a mere guest herself.
"No, thank you, I was just leaving," Helena assured the redhead.
"No, you were not," Hunnigan said, forcing herself to speak out loud despite barely having any voice left. She sat up, her fingers still wrapped around Helena's wrist. The younger woman noticed Hunnigan's touch felt hot, the other woman had to be burning up.
"Al, I appreciate that you stayed over, but it was not necessary."
"Uh-huh," Alexis quirked an eyebrow, obviously unimpressed. She'd been expecting a thank you at the very least.
"I didn't ask you to stay," Hunnigan pointed out upon noticing the defiant and offended manner with which Alexis's jaw was jutting out. It was all very familiar to Hunnigan.
Alexis needed to be thanked and appreciated for everything she did, even when no one had asked favors from her. If her efforts went unnoticed, she turned into a martyr. Oh, the humanity and woe was her, after everything she did for others, and still not an ounce of gratitude. This was turning into just one of those moments.
"You didn't tell me to leave either," Alexis pointed out and Helena sighed at that. Well, that said something too.
"I'm telling you now," Hunnigan said.
"Uh-huh," Alexis scoffed again and glanced over Helena, her look speaking louder than any words ever could've, obviously demanding an answer to the question Is this what you're trading me in for?
"Look, I'm going to go home now, you two obviously have stuff you need to work out and I figure you don't need me present for it, sooo," Helena trailed off and yanked her arm free from Hunnigan's (now noticeably weakened) grip.
"Helena..."
"See ya," the young woman said and exited hastily, a part of her feeling like crap for essentially abandoning Hunnigan, but her pride insisting she'd forgiven too much already, that she should not have to put up with these petty games and the constant back and forth. She'd made her feelings clear, Hunnigan had practically laughed at her for that, and at this point even Helena had to give up stubbornly believing this could work somehow. Hunnigan's inability to cut the cord for good and restrict interacting with Alexis only to the absolutely necessary moments spoke volumes alone.