Well, I almost posted this on Sunday. It's 12:33 am, so...I'm tired.

Chapter Two: What Do I Do?

"A kid? How on earth did you end up with a kid?"

Tony glanced up from the holographic report from a local paper (Fifth Grade Genius, Peter Parker, Wins First Place in Midtown Elementary Science Fair for Building Filter That Turns Saltwater Into Drinking Water) and gave his best friend a look. "Do I really have to explain it?"

"I'd rather you didn't." Rhodey admitted. He strolled from the mountain of coffee mugs Tony went through, to the holographic images, reports, records, and overall information of Peter Benjamin Parker. "Did you get any sleep last night?"

"Rhodey, I just found out that there's a mini-me out there." Tony sipped his coffee, moving towards the kid's birth certificate and a picture of Mary Parker again. "Would you be able to sleep if you found out that kind of information?"

Rhodey's lack of response was all the answer Tony needed.

"You sure he's yours?"

The billionaire sighed. "I did the math a million times, and it fits. I couldn't remember the mom's name, but I remember her face. She was a geneticist, a brilliant one at that. I won't be able to know for sure until I do a parental test, but considering he looks exactly like me, and nothing like this Richard Parker guy, I'm gonna go on a limb here and say, 'yeah, pretty sure'."

"Wow." Rhodey said.

"Yeah, wow." Tony agreed. He rubbed his tired eyes, than glanced at a grinning picture of Peter in a third grade spelling bee. He was next to a teacher, who was pinning a blue first place ribbon on his chest. "Look at that. Look at how smart he is."

"He probably gets it from his mom."

"Haha." Tony slumped in the rolling chair.

"What will you do?"

Tony sighed. "No clue. Having kids wasn't exactly one of the things I aspired to do in my life."

"Do you think his parents know?"

"What? That he's not Richard's?" Tony glanced at his best friend. "I wouldn't know. They died a few years ago."

Rhodey winced sympathetically. "Poor kid."

"Poor kid." Tony muttered in agreement.

"Is he in the system?"

"JARVIS is finding that out." He messaged his forehead. "Even if he is, what am I going to do about it? I'm not exactly a nominee for 'most suitable father figure' of the year."

"Some people aren't suited to be parents." Rhodey agreed.

"But he is my kid. I shouldn't just let a bunch of strangers take care of him. I brought him into this world, I should be the one to take care of him."

"Hey, if you feel you're up for the challenge, man."

"Will you stop playing Switzerland, and help me make a choice?"

Rhodey sighed. He walked over to his best friend and clasped his shoulder. "Look Tony, I can't be making this kind of choice for you. You said it yourself, he's your kid. Or probably is your kid. If you think you can really be responsible, that you can think of someone besides yourself for once-"

"Hey! I'm a changed man!"

"I know that. God, I know that." Rhodey chuckled. "I'd talk to the people who's in charge of him. See what they think."

Tony nodded slowly. "Right. Talk to the guardians. Not of the Galaxy...you get what I mean."

Rhodey nodded. "Now go to bed."

Tony groaned. "I'm not a little kid, Rhodey."

"Than stop acting like one. You might be taking care of a child, you need to start gaining better habits." The colonel lifted his friend up.

"The kid's twelve! It's not like he won't know when's bedtime."

"Did you care even care bedtime when you were twelve?"

Tony sighed. "Touche."