This is my first attempt at writing a long Harry Potter fic. I do not own JK Rowling's characters. This will follow cannon loosely. I have a weird sense of humor, so sorry if you are not amused. I welcome all reviews and comments. Thanks for reading and for your comments.
Harry will now be referred to as Rhys and Snape is now Sebastian.
The Dark Lord POV
The man known to the entire wizarding world as You Know Who and He Who Must Not Be Named sat in his expansive room in Slytherin Castle deep in thought. First his rebirth ritual was botched by that damned rat Pettigrew, then he lost Snape and Pettigrew and he had been evicted from Malfoy Manor. Truth be told, he was only staying there because he did not want his followers to come and mess up his castle. The rugs on the marbled floors were antiques and some of those fools were nothing more than thugs.
Lucius also defected, but at the time he did not blame him. He had lost his wife and child, not to mention his home. The poor man was distraught. If there was one thing Tom Marvolo Riddle could not abide, it was a crying man and Lucius had shed buckets of tears that night. He had sicced Barty Crouch Junior on him, but that might not have been a good idea.
Barty had returned with a letter from Lucius citing irreconcilable differences and a wish to work together in the future without all of the murdering and raping. Those had never been goals of mine anyway. Who would listen to a psychopath? These were the thoughts I am having right now. I can think clearly for the first time in centuries. The crumpled letter in my hand was not expected either.
He sent me a tee shirt that said 'Let me show you my parseltongue'. Who knew Harry Potter had a sense of humor? He wrote that the prophecy was probably faked because he was adopted anyway. He also pointed out that it was given in a job interview that was held in a bar. He said it was a setup and that there was probably some ritual that Lily Potter performed that caused him to lose his body for all of that time.
Blast! He used to be smarter than to fall for such a ploy. That brought up Potter's other point. He had found that he had been a horcrux and the goblins had destroyed all of his other horcruxes. Each time I had received an energy boost in the past week, I could not explain it.
My appearance and magic had also been nearly restored. I look like a thirty year old man instead of that creature that rose from that cauldron. I am so glad that Pettigrew was captured. He was almost worthless and he sold out his friends. What kind of loyalty did that demonstrate?
I looked at Nagini. I would have to reverse the ritual I performed with her. It was pointless using horcruxes anyway. Potter asked what I really believed in because he said no one really tells him anything, they just say he killed his parents blah blah blah. Potter said that maybe I should disband the death eaters and focus on working with the ministry to achieve my goals.
He raises a good point. He also said that the goblins hate war and did I want all of them against me? No, I certainly did not. I called Barty into the room. I trust him and Regulus Black who is not dead. I placed him into stasis because I wanted to know why he took my horcrux, but I never found out. He had told me that it was important. I was too far gone at the time to listen to him.
Barty finally showed up. Is he a wizard or what? I snapped my fingers and Boa, my head house elf showed up. He was wearing a dark green tee shirt and matching pants. The tee shirt said "I know how to find the Chamber of Secrets". He even had on shoes. When I asked who freed him, he calmly explained that he was not running around half naked and that if I wanted house elves, I would allow them to wear what they wanted. He was smart, so I had just nodded at him.
Now they both stared at me. "How can I help you, Master Thomas?" That was another thing. They all insisted on calling me Master Thomas. I do not really like my name. I sighed. "Must you call me that name, Boa?" He smiled at me.
"That is being your name. Own it, Master Thomas. You look stressed out. Did you read the letter? I got it from Pappy who got it from Jewel who got it from Socks. I told you who Socks' master is, Master Thomas." I nod at him.
"Yes, Boa, I know who it is from. Now, I would like another of your wonderful smoothies and one for Barty here. I will respond to the letter soon, Boa. Thank you." He popped away. Barty finally spoke up. I know he is staring at my tee shirt. Potter sent it, and it says 'Priori Incantantem: I know What You Did Last Summer'. He is hilarious.
"My Lord, you are looking quite well. How may I be of service to you?" Do they all talk to me that way? I am not wearing robes, but I am sure that if I was, he would kiss them. Was I that ridiculous? I am so frustrated.
"Barty, I require your discretion and your honesty." He nods before I can finish my sentence. Boa comes back and gives us a smoothie and he has one for himself. He sits down on a little couch that he conjured and crossed his legs. Barty just stared at him.
"Do you think that our original goals will be served by disbanding the death eaters and working in the political arena?" He just blinks at me and opens and closes his mouth.
"I think that is being a great idea, Master Thomas! Think of it! You can go shopping without people running and screaming from yous and you can talk to people instead of killing them! Maybe you can go on a little vacation or something and get some sun. You is being too pale, Master Thomas. Would you like a potion to fix your eyes so they are not red anymore?" I looked at Boa and smiled. This is what I wanted, an honest opinion.
"Boa, tell me the truth, do you and the other elves have a plan?" He gets up and hands me a potion. How many pockets does he have? I drink the potion and there is a tingling in my eyes and then it goes away.
"Yes, we has many plans, but you wizards are not asking for our help! The goblins have plans, too, but you always try to work against them. The centaurs have plans, but you treat them like animals. Right now, the elves and the goblins are working together to help you wizards. War is bad, Master Thomas. No more killing people. Now you are smart. You should be meeting other smart wizards and witches and you should be getting married and having some heirs. Do you want the Slytherin bloodline to die out?"
He sits down and drinks his smoothie. That was a lot to think about. I never used to think that elves were smart. I feel bad for how I used to order them around. They prepared my food. I am an idiot.
"My Lord, maybe you should follow the advice of Boa. I know that I miss my elf Winky. My evil father gave her clothes!"
"Winky is fine, Master Barty! She has a new family to care for. I can be telling her to visit you or you can just call her. I am sure she will come." Barty looks happy and he calls Winky. She pops in wearing a dress and shoes and an apron. She looks around and waves at Boa.
"Hello, Master Barty, Master Thomas. You is looking less like a snake now, so that is good. Are you taking your vitamin potions? You is looking kind of thin and pale. Boa needs to feed you more and let you go outside." She hands me a potion and I take it. She nods and goes over to Barty to fuss over him.
"Master Barty, clothes just meant I was fired, but we elves do need a family to bond with or to work for Hogwarts or Gringott's or we get a little crazy. How are you doing? Do you still want to kill people?" Barty shakes his head no.
"No, Winky. I just wanted to be accepted somewhere and you know how mean my father was all the time. It was horrible being under that curse for so long. I think I only survived thanks to your wonderful care. Do you like your new family?" She smiles and takes out pictures.
"Now, you promise not to hurt them, Master Barty?" He nods.
"Good, I am working for Master Xeno that owns the Quibbler. He is a little strange, but he is smart and funny. His little daughter is very intelligent. She knows things. Do you want to give an interview? I can go and get Master Xeno." Barty shakes his head no.
"Not right now, Winky. I am a wanted criminal. They will put me back into Azkaban." She hums and nods while patting Barty's hair.
"Okay, I will work on it. Maybe you have to change your name like Master Thomas." What?
"I have to change my name?" She looks at Boa who sighs.
"I was going to tell you later, Master Thomas. First you have to respond to the letter, and then I was going to suggest that you change your name. You also need to go running in the morning for five miles every day." Maybe I would take his advice.
"I has to go now, Master Barty. Take care and eat your vegetables. See you later!" Winky pops out.
"Winky has a great family now, Master Barty. Do not worry about her. Now, your other friend is coming, Master Thomas." Boa popped out and came back with another smoothie for Regulus who was moping and flopped onto the chaise lounge.
"What is your problem?" He sighs.
"My brother." This was going to take a long time.
"What about him, Regulus?" He turns to face us.
"My brother is in Italy having a grand old time and he thinks I am dead, My Lord. If I was to show up there, he would try to kill me because I joined you. He is the Lord Black and that is nice, but he is still my big brother. I saw in the paper that he is friends with Lord Prince. You know that is Severus, right? He always liked the name Sebastian. That should be me smiling with my brother. He probably hates me!"
I hope he is not about to cry. He has been moping ever since I performed the counter spell and he realized what year it was. He was most insubordinate and I had to give him a time out. I had decided not to speak to him for a week. He had finally apologized and said that at least I did not kill him.
"Regulus, would you feel better if I removed the dark mark?" He sat up with wide eyes and stared at me.
"Would that mean you were kicking me out, because I still want to be friends with you, My Lord." I sigh.
"No, I am thinking that Barty and I change our names at Gringott's and you arrange to meet your brother and introduce us as your friends that you met while you were traveling." He runs over and hugs me. I look at Boa and he grins. Fine. I return the hug. I feel tears on my shirt. Blast!
"Come now, Regulus. Why don't you compose a letter and I will do the same and then we can make a plan to go to Gringott's tomorrow. You too, Barty." Was he smoking? I look at Boa and he has disappeared. I decided that I will do the ritual at midnight to remove the dark mark from Regulus. I had to think longer about how to handle the rest of the death eaters. What name will I choose now? Oh, the possibilities.