"Okay Nicky, McPhee said the Federal Archives are in the Smithsonian. Where exactly are we going?" Bambi asked her brother over the phone as she and Larry were in Washington DC heading towards the Smithsonian.
"That's the thing Bam. The Smithsonian is actually 19 different museums. They're laid out around the National Mall, from the Capital to the Lincoln Memorial. They got everything.
There's actually some pretty cool stuff." Nicky explained over the speakerphone trailing off as he began to get distracted.
"Nicky, please focus! Which museum are the archives in?" Larry asked as they walked.
"Not in, under." Nicky said, "It looks like it runs underneath the entire Smithsonian."
"Oh no." Bambi whispered.
"So if Ahkmenrah's Tablet is down there-" Larry started.
"The biggest museum in the world is coming alive." The siblings finished in unison.
"What exactly is your plan here, Dad?" Nicky asked.
"Don't worry about it." The father stated.
"You have no plan, do you?" Bambi questioned him dully.
"Now, Nicholas, Samantha, I have a very good, highly thought-out plan." Larry argued, sending his daughter a look as he spoke.
"You have no plan." The siblings stated.
"Yes, I have no plan." Larry huffed, "I'll call you when I'm in." With that, the ex-security guard hung up as he helped Bambi into a taxi.
"Thanks." The two Daley's said they exited the taxi as Larry paid the driver before he drove off and the two turned to the Air and Space Museum.
"Wow." Bambi gasped as she looked around the museum in awe.
"Focus, Bam;." Larry whispered as they walked.
"I'm focused, I'm a multitasker." Bambi muttered as they approached a tour guide that was leading a group.
"Hi, excuse me. Could you tell us how to get to the Federal Archives?" Bambi asked the woman.
"Of course. Just be a historical document worthy of storing for all eternity." The tour guide answered before she laughed. "I'm kidding, they're not documents. I'm sorry, miss, the archives
are underground and they're a secure area."
"Really? Like, totally secure?" Larry questioned and the woman nodded"Okay, thank you." And then, the father and daughter were walking off again.
"Now what do we do?" Bambi whispered to her father as they walked through the museum and admired the exhibits.
"I've got an idea, just act natural." Larry whispered back.
With less than an hour until the Smithsonian closed and the sun setting, the father and daughter finally found exhibit they were looking for.
"The Gate of Kahmunrah
Mythic Door to the Underworld"
"Kahmunrah." Bambi whispered. The two stepped closer to examine the door when she noticed something on it. "Hey, dad look at this," She whispered as she pointed to the symbol on the door that looked exactly like the Tablet.
"Yeah…" Larry agreed as he stepped closer.
"It looks like Ahk's tablet is supposed to-"
"Hey!" A voice cut in and the two turned to see a security guard there. "What're you two doing?" He asked. Larry just pointed at the door. "No touching." The guard said.
"No, I wasn't gonna touch it." Larry protested.
"You're moving in with some ITT, bro." The guard said.
"ITT?" Bambi repeated confused.
"That's 'intent to touch', homie." The guard explained.
"No, I wasn't. You're not allowed to go over the-" Larry protested.
"What, are you gonna kiss it?" The guard asked.
"Alright, sorry." Larry apologized.
"Put your hand on it and touch it. Cause I stand there and I wait all day for a little girl like you to come in and put her precious nail-polished nails all over the exhibits." The guard said waving his hands around
"You know, I'm sorry. Last time I checked, I thought we lived in a free country." Larry commented as he shrugged
"No we don't." The guard disagreed.
"No?" Bambi asked.
"It's the United States of Don't Touch That Thing in Front of You." The guard said.
"I just wanted-I'm allowed to look at it here, okay?" Larry said.
"See what happens when you touch it!" The guard threatened.
"Oh, so you're threatening us?" Bambi asked as she crossed her arms.
"Yeah, you're threatening us, Brandon?" Larry asked as he looked at the guard's name.
"It's Brundon." The guard, Brundon, corrected quietly.
"Excuse me?" Larry asked.
"Brundon!" Brundon repeated.
"Brundon?" Larry repeated.
"Brundon!" The guard repeated.
"Brundon." Larry stated, raising an eyebrow. "What, did they run out of u's on your name plate maker?"
"I don't know, did they run out of jokes at the interesting-joke store that you two shop at?"
"Sorry, it looks like "Brandon", but…" Bambi mock-apologized.
"I'm not here to be your speech therapist. It's Brundon!" Brundon said, irritated.
"Brundon. Okay..."
"You never heard of the name before?" Brundon asked.
"Brundon? No." Bambi exclaimed.
"Look up most popular baby names in 1984. Brundon." Brundon stated.
"Okay. Are you threatening us, Brundon?" Larry asked.
"I don't know, Princess Jasmine. Am I?" Brundon asked as he pulled his jacket back and showed the two his flashlight.
"Oh, wow. Lunabeam nine-volt." Larry commented.
"Yeah." Brundon confirmed.
"Wonderful piece of hardware, huh?"
"That's their title, Lunabeam Nine."
"Great. I prefer the Maglite LED myself, but that's just me."
"Do me a huge favor."
"What?"
"Shove your hands into your pockets, put your attitude way down, and, also, be nice to people." Brundon said, demonstrating what he said before he began to walk away.
"Great. But could I just ask you one thing?" Bambi questioned making his turn around.
"Yeah." Brundon said tossing his hands up.
"Okay, so just to be clear, we can't do this, right?" As she spoke, Larry put the palm of his hand directly on the space of the door that resembled the Tablet.
"Okay, that's actually crazy." Brundon said as he walked back over to the two with his flashlight out. "Did you just make a decision to possibly end your life earlier than you were expecting? I'm gonna hit you with the flashlight."
"Now you are threatening my dad. Okay." Bambi said giddy.
"Do not touch it!" Brundon said, touching Larry with his flashlight.
"Don't touch me." Larry protested.
"Do not touch it!"
"Do not touch it!"
"Don't touch me!"
"I'll touch you with my flashlight all day." Brundon stated.
"No, your flashlight is meant to illuminate." Larry explained.
"I will literally rent a camper, and we will drive across America with my flashlight on your chest." Brundon said.
"Don't do that." Bambi warned.
"Don't do what?" Brundon asked. "Want to see what happens when I do it one more time?"
"Let's see what happens when you do it one more time." Bambi agreed as she smirked.
"Watch you do nothing. Let's watch you do nothing when I do this." Brundon said as he touched Larry only for the ex-guard to turn around and use his flashlight against him, ending
with the flashlight pressing the guard's face close to the ex-guard's.
"Seriously, Brandon-" Larry started.
"Brundon." The guard corrected.
"Brundon," Larry corrected, "You do not know who you're dealing with. You think you know what it means to be a guard, huh? Trust me, you don't know the meaning of the word. My daughter and I have seen things that you could not imagine."
"Like what kind of stuff?" Brundon cut in.
"We're not gonna tell you. But you're gonna drop the flashlight-" Bambi said firmly.
"The way he said it, it sounded like he was gonna say something cool." Brundon defended.
"Yeah, well, you don't get to hear it. Drop the flashlight." Larry instructed. Brundon did what he was asked. Once he had the flashlight in his hands, Larry opened the bottom, allowing the batteries to spill out, he spun the flashlight around in his hands before offered it back to Brundon. "We cool?"
"That's actually pretty cool, what you just did." Brundon complimented.
"Thank you."
"No hard feelings? Alright? Sorry." Larry asked as he held a hand out, which Brundon took and they shared a bro-hug..
"Okay." The guard agreed. "I'm sorry."
"No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have..." Larry started.
"No. It takes two opposing forces to cause friction, and..." Brundon said as they walked away.
"And you're just doing your job, alright." Bambi said smiling.
"Take it easy, man." Larry said.
"Yeah!" Brundon called as the two turned away.
"You got it?" Larry questioned immediately.
Bambi scoffed. "Of course I got it." She said turning her hand over to reveal the ID badge she' swiped off of Brundon which Larry was wrestling with him.
"Good, c'mon," Larry said glancing at his watch. "We're running out of time."
Karen Wood: Coming up real soon
As always let me know what you think, and what you'd like to see in the future.