A/N: Soo...it's been awhile. A really long while. And I am so sorry. I've just been busy, and I could make more excuses, but I won't. I just hope some people still wanna read this. After, like, nine months of nothing.

For those of you who need a refresher, lord knows I did, this chapter is Chapter 3 from Carlisle's POV.

She pressed her body against mine.

She was all I could feel.

She was everywhere all at once.

We went throughout our day as two separate people; I was Carlisle, successful, skilled doctor working in a small town hospital. She was Esme, stay at home mother by day, architect by night. We were as different as two people could be in some ways.

But now, now…we were one.

"Carlisle…" she breathed, so quiet that a human wouldn't have heard a sound.

I answered her by kissing her, deeply, roughly, but passionately all the same. I didn't want to remember who I was. At this very moment, the thought of being Carlisle Cullen was too much. I didn't want to worry about the small things in life, I didn't want to worry about my family, about Edward…

Edward. I couldn't help but think back to the kitchen, when he'd looked at me with utter awe and amazement. What had that look meant?

Stop thinking about your son, you sick bastard.

I immediately snapped out of it, focusing all of my attention on Esme. I pulled away, leaving her panting and breathless, even though she didn't have to breathe. I gently ran my lips over her neck, where the pulse from her carotid artery would've been. Where blood should've been running, where I should've felt something, not the nothingness that there was.

I gently nipped and sucked at her skin, not even hard enough to leave a mark on a human. Apparently Esme liked the contrast of what I was doing; relentlessly pounding into her but then softly kissing her neck at the same time. I kind of liked it, too.

I felt her tighten around me, and it felt so wonderful that I sunk my teeth into her shoulder before I could stop myself. I could imagine that it hurt, but all she did was moan.

Closing my eyes, I moved back to her mouth and kissed her hard, so hard that I heard some of the wall tiles crack. Her whole body felt warm against mine, not the kind of fierce hotness that a human would provide, but not ice cold, like we would feel to a human.

Edward's never felt this before.

I tried, I tried so hard not to let my mind wander, wander to my son of all people, but it just couldn't be stopped.

I imagined Edward's soft mouth against my own, his tightness completely enveloping me, his strong arms crushing me to him. Edward and I moaning, so loud and so much that we couldn't tell each other's voices apart. Edward screaming my name as he came…

Before I knew it, I was coming, and I bit my lip so I wouldn't yell his name, though I didn't exactly remember why I wasn't supposed to. I knew he would enjoy it if I did.

"Carlisle," Esme moaned, and my eyes flew open, and I saw Esme's face inches away from mine, her eyes closed, mouth open but no sound coming out.

Shock had my body completely frozen. My mind was racing, trying to figure out what had just happened. Edward was my son, my son! I was aware he wasn't actually my son, but I had at least thought of him as my son! Now what was he?

Esme, apparently not noticing my distress, opened her eyes and smiled up at me. "I think we broke the wall, Carlisle."

I forced myself to smile, then I untangled myself from her, wanting nothing more than to be out of this shower and away from everybody in this house. Especially the person in this house who can read minds.

Panic shot through me. Edward can read minds. What if he saw that? What if he thinks I have feelings for him? I would have to tell him I didn't, of course. But what if things between us were awkward?

I listened to what everybody was doing around the house. Alice and Rose were talking about different ideas they had for Edward and Bella's wedding, Emmett was playing Mariokart, without Jasper though. That was unusual. I listened for any sign of Edward or Jasper, but I couldn't hear them. They must've not been in the house.

It was like someone was pouring a bucket of pure relief over my head. Edward hadn't seen. Nobody had to know. Someone would only know if I let them know, and that wasn't going to happen. No, my little secret fantasy was safe inside of my head. I felt like thanking the Heavens, but they probably didn't want to hear from me.

Esme suddenly gasped, and I wondered if I'd been talking to myself. Before I could really start worrying about that too much, she said, "I have to make Bella dinner!"

I felt like laughing, I was still that giddy with relief. "You should start that, darling."

She smiled, then kissed my cheek, and stepped out of the shower. I could see her silhouette through the curtain, quickly drying herself off and rushing into the bedroom. Then I was left alone, the loudest thing I could hear being the water of the shower. Of course I could still hear Emmett swearing at our Wii and Alice and Rosalie arguing about flowers.

There was still no sign of Edward or Jasper.

I stood under the water for a couple minutes, the sound and the feeling of it somehow calming. The feeling of it hitting my back barely felt like anything, and of course the temperature of it didn't matter, but it was still nice.

As I was drying myself off, I heard Esme rushing around the kitchen, pulling out pots and pans and different cooking accessories. When I was putting my clothes on, I heard Edward come in and start to talk to her.

"Edward! Please, help me with Bella's dinner. I'm a little off schedule."

"How come?" Edward asked, and I tried, unsuccessfully, to put him moaning my name out of my mind. "Other motherly business to tend to?"

"Oh, um, yes," Esme answered. "Carlisle needed help, uh, fixing the shower."

There was truly no point in lying, even if Edward hadn't been a mind reader. I'm sure everyone in the house had heard and noted that Esme and I had had sex, and promptly ignored it. It's what we always did. But Esme was polite. And answering with "We fucked in the shower," like Emmett would have done, was not polite. Therefore, Esme, even though it was obvious, lied.

And, Edward, because he was also polite, said nothing in response.

Then they were quiet, and the smell of whatever Esme had decided to cook for Bella was slowly wafting through the house. It was not a pleasant smell, truthfully, not that any kind of human food was appetizing. The most appetizing, in my own personal opinion, was a rare steak.

After a little while, Esme excused herself from the kitchen and headed upstairs. I quickly walked to my study, not wanting her to think I was just standing around in our room, eavesdropping on her and Edward's conversation. Even though that had been exactly what I'd done.

Eventually curiosity got the best of me, and I made my way to the kitchen, wondering what kind of food Esme could possibly be cooking.

In the back of my mind, I was chanting act natural to myself, so when I saw Edward looking at a pot of spaghetti – spaghetti, of course – I acted surprised.

"Oh, hello, Edward," I said. "Where's Esme?"

"Upstairs," he answered, not looking at me.

I chuckled a little. She was probably brushing her hair, after forgetting to earlier. It had probably gotten especially messy, what with me accidentally slamming her head into the wall.

The thought of slamming Edward's body into several different walls almost slipped into the main part of my mind, so I quickly covered it up with thoughts of Esme and I. Esme's soft skin, Esme's subtle warmth, me slamming into her…

Edward made a small noise next to me, and when I looked over at him, he looked pained. He must've been listening to my thoughts.

"Oh, um, sorry Edward. Didn't mean to scar you."

"You've done worse." Edward smiled a little. But he still looked upset.

Had he seen my..? No, no, he couldn't have.

"Are you alright, Edward?" I took a step closer to him, and he in response backed himself up until he was against the counter. Had thinking about Esme and I really offended him that much?

He opened his mouth, like he was going to speak, but he said nothing. He looked scared and dazed, and that just concerned me more.

"Edward? Are you okay?"

"Meet me in the woods," he said, softly, so softly, that I was sure nobody else in the house could've heard him. "Far enough away that nobody here will be able to hear us."