Mr. Collins spent his remaining time at Longbourn pursuing his two most likely candidates-Lydia and Kitty. Elizabeth had been certain Mr. Collins would no longer consider Lydia after her childish tantrum in the village, but it appeared Lydia's more agreeable qualities had put her back in the race. It was true Lydia had taken to wearing her most daring gowns, and many a handkerchief was dropped in Mr. Collins' sight. A parson he might be, but he was also a man, and so he found it difficult to resist Lydia's charms.
Kitty attempted to establish herself as the more proper choice. Only in a battle between Kitty and Lydia, thought Elizabeth, would Kitty be the responsible option. Mr. Collins seemed impressed with Kitty's conversation. Although it was often stilted, Kitty did a much better job than her sister at conversing about things which interested Mr. Collins. The only thing that interested Mr. Collins that Lydia was concerned with was herself.
In the end, though, the thought of Lady Catherine de Bourgh made the decision for Mr. Collins. He imagined introducing Lydia to Lady Catherine, and thought of the look of consternation which would cross Lady Catherine's brow the first time Lydia exclaimed "Lord!" or did something else untoward. He did not need imagine for too long before his decision to marry Kitty solidified.
As time was short, he asked for an audience with Kitty almost immediately after arriving at his decision. Mrs. Bennet was elated. Lydia was distraught. Mrs. Bennet took her youngest daughter away from the sitting room, patting her arm and reminding her of all the handsome officers who would be heartbroken if she had married another. Lydia allowed as to the truth of the statement, but she still continued to sob theatrically as her mother ushered her to the other side of the house.
Behind the closed door of the sitting room, an entirely different scene played out. Kitty sat nervously on the edge of the settee, watching Mr. Collins pace the room. It was hard to say which of them was more anxious for the upcoming conversation.
"My dear Miss Kitty," Mr. Collins said, kneeling before her, "I made no secret of the fact I came to Longbourn in hopes of finding a wife."
"Oh, really?" squeaked Kitty, and was immediately mortified with what she had said.
"Indeed," replied Mr. Collins solemnly. "I will admit I did not see you at first as the lady for whom I looked, but I can only imagine the Lord gave me the time to discover what it is I truly want."
Kitty looked at him, her breath caught in her throat.
Mr. Collins rose from his kneeling position, and Kitty worked to keep her face from showing distress.
"Perhaps before I say more you should know why I am seeking a wife."
Kitty nodded, encouraging him to continue.
"I think it is right that a pastor be married. It exemplifies the sanctity of matrimony. It would be an excellent example to my congregation if I were to enter into the bonds of marriage. In addition, my most excellent benefactress, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, recently expressed a desire for me to find a wife, and, as with all things, her advice in this area is peerless. I traveled to Longbourn, and whom did I find but you, my dear Miss Kitty, all piety and grace and beauty."
Kitty blushed a fetching shade of pink; such compliments had never before been given to her.
"I do believe you are the wife God intended for me."
Mr. Collins dropped to his knees once more, and stared up at her with earnest eyes that thoroughly captivated her.
"Say you will be the partner I have been searching for," he said.
Although his proposal hewed closely to the one he had delivered to Elizabeth, the response to it was much different.
"Oh, yes, Mr. Collins, of course I shall be your wife!" Kitty was barely able to keep still, so extreme her excitement.
Mr. Collins took her hand and gently kissed the back of it.
"You make me truly happy, my darling. I know Lady Catherine will approve of you."
Kitty smiled broadly at him. "I am to be wed. And the first of my sisters! Lydia will be quite taken with envy."
"Do be gentle with her, dearest. I believe myself to be a good judge of people, and I think Miss Lydia hoped I would offer for her. I do not want her to feel hurt."
"Oh, she shall not, Mr. Collins!" cried Kitty. "I must go tell her the good news."
Then it was done-Kitty had agreed to marry him.
Mr. Collins went to Mr. Bennet's study to ask his permission to wed Kitty.
Mr. Bennet nearly choked when Mr. Collins announced the reason for his visit.
"Kitty?" asked Mr. Bennet faintly. "Are you quite certain that is the girl to whom you proposed?"
"I think I should know to whom I proposed, sir." Mr. Collins took at least as much offense as Mr. Bennet had intended. "I am not feeble."
"No, indeed," said Mr. Bennet, staring. "And, out of all my daughters, you chose Kitty? Fascinating."
"She is the helpmeet I have longed for. My ardor can hardly be contained," said Mr. Collins, somewhat stiffly.
"Yes, it is quite obvious how you feel about her in the way you speak of her," said Mr. Bennet, his eyes dancing with mirth. "You will be kind to her?"
"I am a man of God."
"Hmm, yes, but I would still like to hear your answer. I have known some men of God, you see, who had quite a different perception of His will than I do."
Mr. Collins' face softened. "Of course I will be kind to her. She will be my wife. I cannot imagine how anyone could be cross at such a gay creature."
"That is very agreeable of you, sir. I wonder if you will retain the same opinion after you have spent more time with my daughter."
"If you are trying to discover my devotion to your daughter, I assure you I will find her as entrancing as I do today for the remainder of our life together."
Mr. Bennet muttered something to himself that sounded like, "We shall see." Then he spoke loudly enough for Mr. Collins to hear him. "If Kitty wishes to marry you, I give my consent."
Mr. Collins began to shake Mr. Bennet's hand heartily. "Oh, thank you sir. I am the happiest man, and I am certain Lady Catherine will be well-pleased when she hears of my intention to wed. You see, it was at her prompting..."
"Yes, yes. But ought you not find your bride-to-be, sir? There is time for us to sing the praises of Lady Catherine later."
"Yes, there certainly is!" agreed Mr. Collins. "I will find Kitty and tell her."
Mr. Bennet stared at the study door for a few moments after Mr. Collins left. Mr. Collins was a fool, he thought, but then again so was Kitty. She could have done much worse than a foolish, proud man who was likely to be kind to her. Perhaps the match would be a propitious one after all. One thing was entirely certain: the house would be a bit quieter without Mr. Collins and Kitty in it. Mr. Bennet decided he had enjoyed his sport quite long enough, and some peace sounded like a capital idea.
Lydia reacted to the news with far less serenity than did her father.
"That cannot be the case," she repeatedly stubbornly. "Mr. Collins is to marry me, or at least to offer! I have not yet decided if I shall accept, as I was so hoping to wed an officer. Nonetheless, there is no way he would propose to Kitty without receiving my refusal first. He only asked to speak with her to tell her of his plans to propose to me."
"Now Lydia," Jane said patiently. "You know that is not true. You knew what was happening the moment Mr. Collins asked for an audience with Kitty."
"No, I did not!" said Lydia, stamping her foot. "I am prettier than Kitty, and gayer, and more enjoyable to be around! He would not choose her over me!"
Elizabeth saw how Lydia's words were affecting Kitty, who, only moments before, had run into the room jubilant with news of her engagement. Elizabeth put her hands on Lydia's shoulder and gave her a small shake.
"You are ruining this moment for your sister. There is plenty of time for you to get married. I will not see you take this from her. Mr. Collins made his choice."
Lydia let out a strangled scream and ran from the room. It was quiet for a moment, and then everyone busied themselves with congratulating Kitty. Elizabeth dearly hoped Lydia would be past sulking by the time of the ceremony.