I'm working on updating when I've got the time but Exam time is just around the corner!
Be patient my pretty's!
Please reveiew!
"And you caused it,
And you caused it,
And you caused it."
-Daughter, Youth
"You can't stay here all day, Hermione." Draco said as he watched her whizzing around the apartment, wand in hand tidying everything within her sights.
"Of course I can." She said sticking her head inside the chimney. "This hasn't been cleaned in a while, that's an hour job at least." She said pulling herself back out again, refusing to look at her best friend. "Rose is with the day-care so I've got nothing else to do." She said, trying to pull her hair into a knot to try and tame it.
"You could also explain to me what happened with Weasley the other night," he said, crossing his arms over his chest. Hermione froze for a second, the fuzzy memory of the other night with Fred spilling back into her mind. The laughing and the talking and the drinking and finally the kiss, the clearest part of her thoughts, and the one word Fred said – Katie.
"Nothing happened," Hermione said bluntly, picking up an array of Rose's toys and carrying them back to her room in an attempt to end the conversation.
"Don't bother lying, Hermione," he shouted after her, knowing she could still hear him. "You know you're terrible at it."
"I am not!" she said, affronted as she stuck her head out of Rose's door.
"You don't come back until the early hours, you refuse to speak about what the two of you did and we've been bombarded by owls for the past two days, none of which - might I add - you've read." He said smugly, watching as Hermione began toying with a loose thread on her jumper.
"That doesn't mean anything happened." She said weakly, trying hard to avoid Draco's steely gaze.
"Give it a rest, Hermione," he said, rubbing a hand over his face. "Stop pretending you're okay and tell me what happened."
"I am okay," she said protesting, standing up a little straighter and barging past him towards the kitchen where she began emptying the cupboards to clean the interior of them for the third time in two days.
"You're cleaning the entire apartment on your day off; most people relax on their day off." He said reasonably but Hermione just continued cleaning.
"Maybe I'm not most people," she replied, her voice echoing from inside the cabinet.
"That's evident." He scoffed under his breath, finally catching her attention. She spun around, nearly tumbling off the surfaces to look at him with her eyebrows furrowed.
"And what's that supposed to mean?" she asked, had she not been in such an awkward position, Draco was sure she would have put her hands on her hips like she did when Rose misbehaved.
"You're cleaning inside the cupboards," Draco said but Hermione remained stoic.
"Lots of people clean inside their cupboards." She said with a slight, meaningless sneer, her defenses rising with every dig Draco took.
"I know that," he replied, looking as thought he was fighting the urge to roll his eyes. "You told me that yesterday when I caught you cleaning them," he said and Hermione's face fell slightly, her lips forming an 'O' shape. "Twice."
"Alright you've made your point." Hermione snapped, climbing down from the cabinets and leaning against it with her hands.
"So what happened with Weasley?" Draco asked, his arms crossed as she surveyed her image, her scruffy hair and ripped jeans rolled up above the ankles with her overly large, fraying jumper.
"Draco, I really don't want to talk about it right now." She said pleadingly but Draco didn't look ready to take no for an answer. "Please, just drop it for now," she said walking towards the living room. Draco opened his mouth the reply but was cut off by the sound of the fireplace roaring, the room filled with the green glow of the flames. Hermione's eye's widened with shock for a moment before she darted from the room, mouthing 'I'm not here!' at Draco as she disappeared into his room, shutting the door behind her.
Draco rolled his eyes, sighing loudly as the visitor stepped out of the fireplace, a tall man with fiery red hair and freckles.
"You've cleaned your chimney." Fred said, dusting what little soot his journey had acquired onto the floor. "Oh, its you." he said blandly when he spotted Draco in the middle of the room.
"Well this is my home, Weasley." He replied coolly. "So I'm obliged to ask what it is you're doing here."
"I came to see Hermione," he replied bluntly looking around the room. "Is she in?"
"I don't think she wants to see you, Weasley," Draco spat and Fred looked affronted for a second, but the moment passed.
"That's not what I asked, Malfoy, and I'm not in the mood for your stupid games. Where is she?" he asked, a slightly irritated tone so foreign to the jokers usual form in his voice.
"She's not in. She took Rose to day-care and said she was going out for the rest of the day to clear her head. She won't be back for a while." He said offhandedly. "Now do you fancy telling me what it is you did to her?" he asked no unkindly, but far from welcoming.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Fred replied casually, looking around the freshly cleaned apartment like he was looking for Hermione behind the corner.
"Don't bullshit me, Weasley. I spent years of my life with liars. She's ignoring your mail, she won't stay in the house and she's not even talking about you. What've you done?"
Fred looked ready to retort something sarcastic for a moment but seemed to think better of it. Instead he fell down on the sofa, falling back against the cushions and running a hand over his face.
"She kissed me." He said and Draco fell back a step from shocked.
"She kissed you?" he asked incredulously.
"Yeah." Fred replied "Or I kissed her, I don't know. It's all a bit of a blur." He said tiredly. Draco noticed his face was paler than usual, the fun bounce that usual carried him had wilted and he seemed a lot more tired than usual.
"And you're worried you might like her?" Draco asked, knowing Hermione was likely to be listening to the entire conversation.
"I'm worried I've ruined our friendship," Fred said and Draco winced internally for his friend behind the door. "I've only just found her and everything was finally falling back into place, you know? And then there's Katie – do I tell her?" he asked but Draco didn't respond. "Look at me," Fred said, laughing humourlessly to himself. "Asking advice from the Ferret. I must be in trouble." He said standing back up. "Please, just let her know I stopped by," he said before stepping into the fireplace.
"Weasley," Draco called before Fred grabbed the powder. "That girl means a lot to me." He said "Both of them do. And I'll protect them with everything I have. Remember that." Fred nodded his assent before throwing the powder into the grate and disappearing into the flames. "He's gone!" Draco called, walking so that he was stood outside of his bedroom door. Hearing no reply he turned the handle, amazed to see it wasn't locked.
Inside he saw Hermione sat cross legged amongst the green covers, a pillow clutched to chest as she rested her chin atop it, her face vacant as Draco approached.
"I've been a complete idiot, haven't I?" she asked not looking at him.
"Falling for a man who has a girlfriend makes you and idiot." Draco said sitting beside her, their shoulders barely touching. "Falling for a Weasley who has a girlfriend makes you completely insane." He said, hoping to gauge some laughter from her.
"I knew I could count on you to help." She said with a weak laugh, not the reaction Draco had wanted, but it was hard to know what to do, he'd not been in this situation with Hermione before. "Merlin I've been so stupid!" She exclaimed, burying her face in the green covers. "Of course he was going to chose Katie Bell, why would he leave her!" she said like she'd been the biggest fool on the earth. "She's beautiful, talented, successful and-"
"She's not you." Draco said and Hermione openly scoffed at him.
"Who cares about me?" she said looking at Draco like he'd grown a new head. "I'm a twenty-four year old single mother having gotten divorced at twenty-two, with a shitty job at a bookshop and barely able to support myself let alone my own daughter."
"That's why you've got me," Draco said with as soft a smile he could manage.
"But I shouldn't need you, you should be here because we're friends and you want to be, not because I can't manage on my own." She declared, sniffling slightly.
"Hermione, you've saved my life more than once, plus most of the Wizarding World, and not to mention Boy wonder. I think you've earned yourself this support." He said, nudging against her shoulder, hearing her quiet laugh as she rubbed her nose on the edge of her sleeve, something that made Draco cringe. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a fresh white handkerchief, the initial D.M sewn on in green thread. Hermione gratefully accepted, dabbing at her eyes and clutching the flimsy material in her still dusty hands.
"I'm glad you stuck around, Draco," Hermione said with a small smile, leaning her head onto his shoulder, his arm reaching around to hold her instinctively.
"Well you're not someone it's easy to get away from." He said and she smiled, savouring the small kindnesses that Draco very rarely shared. "Plus you'd be ruined without me." He said and Hermione scoffed.
"A minute ago you were praising me for saving your life and now I'm the one who'd be ruin without you." she said looking into his eyes as she pulled away.
"Call it even?" he asked with a smirk and Hermione found her self smiling back at him, her eyes slightly watery.
"We'll see." She said leaning back against him and letting her eyes fall shut, breathing in the incredibly clean scent that seemed to follow Draco, the minty odour of his soap tingling in her nostrils.
"Well can it wait?" he asked, his arm wrapping around her again. "I've got another date tonight with the bookworm you set me up with." He said with a slight chuckle, but Hermione didn't move, she was far to content in this moment and the familiarity of it. She could almost pretend that nothing had changed, that Fred hadn't found her, and that everything was how it should have been.
The next morning when she awoke Hermione felt almost normal, the ghost of Fred's lips had faded from hers but the memory still remained. Knocking it back into the deepest recess of her mind she went about her daily life. She dressed and showered, ignoring the pile of letters on the table before setting to work on breakfast for her tiny, slightly dysfunctional family. She woke Rose, sitting her calmly at the table where the small child shovelled her mouth with as much egg and pancake she could manage, her face a sticky mess by the time she'd finished.
Draco arrived shortly after as Hermione was mopping the small child's face, he sat and ate quickly, his hair in disarray as he simultaneously buttoned his shirt and took a long hard gulp of black coffee, cursing slightly under his breath as the liquid burnt his mouth and throat, Hermione chastising him accordingly.
Everything felt normal again. It wasn't until Hermione found herself sat down on her usual barstool, a half finished drink in her hand that the reality of her situation came crashing back again.
She'd kissed Fred. Or he'd kissed her. Either way the circumstances were unforgiving. He had a girlfriend whom he loved and whom he'd probably spilled his secret out to the second he saw her. That was another person to add to the growing list of 'People who Hermione was avoiding' list. Too caught up in her dwellings of how Fred's lips had felt against her own she barely even noticed as the empty barstool beside her became occupied.
"Any chance I can buy you another drink?" a familiar voice said cheerfully, but Hermione could feel the tension oozing out of it like stinksap.
"Fred, please don't-" she began, not looking at him, knowing if she saw his eyes all she'd see was the betrayed look in them as he whispered that name – Katie.
"It's just a drink, Hermione" he reasoned but she shook her head, still not looking at him.
"I'm set, but thank you." She could feel her face heating up, her eye's stinging as she stared into the dark brown contents of her glass, wishing nothing more than for it to swallow her up, drowning her in the burning liquid.
"Can you at least let me apologise?" he asked and Hermione fought the scoff that rose in her throat.
"You don't need to apologise, Fred," she said, still refusing to meet his eye. "It shouldn't have happened, so let's just pretend it didn't."
"I wish I could believe that, Hermione," Fred said, the joking tone lost in his voice. "But we both know you're lying. You never were very good at it." he said with a laugh but Hermione couldn't bring herself to laugh along. "Please, Hermione, you've not replied to my owls, you're never at home when I floo over and right now you can't even look at me." He said and Hermione knew if she spoke now she'd crumble. She could hear the pain in his voice, the hurt from her avoidance. This is why she ran; this is why she never stuck it out the last time. She couldn't handle the pain, not after everything she'd suffered. She'd had enough pain for two lifetimes, she hated the idea of causing anymore. "What can I do to fix this, Hermione? Help me out here."
"Maybe you can't fix it, Fred, maybe this isn't broken." She said, forcing everyone of courage to stop her voice from wavering. It seemed to work.
"What are you talking about?" Fred asked, sounding slightly abashed.
"Maybe," Hermione began taking a deep breath, "Maybe I wasn't meant to come back. So far it's done a lot more bad than good."
"You're joking, 'Mione? Please tell me you're joking." He said but Hermione just shrugged a reply. She could feel the frustration bristling from Fred.
"Perhaps I'm not. Say you didn't find me, Ron never would have kicked off, you're family wouldn't have all fallen out with him and we wouldn't have-" but she couldn't bring herself to finish.
"We wouldn't have kissed." He said and Hermione flinched like the words burnt her. She was far too busy looking at her glass to notice the hurt look in his eyes as he spoke. "Look, Hermione, if you want to say it meant nothing and pretend it didn't happen then fine, I'll play along. I just don't want to lose you again."
They sat in silence for a moment, neither one of them willing to break it, nothing but the scent of stale cigarette smoke and the sound of echoing coughs filling the air.
"Do you remember when you first found me here?" Hermione asked, feeling a wave of courage burst through her, something that both exhilarated and terrified her. "You asked me why I was setting fire to my insides. I told you that if you were in love then you were the lucky one."
"Because most of us are bitter over someone and you were distracting your heart from missing him, yeah, I remember." He said replied curiously.
"Well, I'm didn't leave to distract my heart from missing Ron – honestly I think I could have handled being rejected by Ron." She said with a weak laugh to cover the sob that half choked its way out.
"Then who were you distracting it from?" Fred asked tentatively.
"The man I fell in love with." She said looking at her glass. "The man who said you can't help who you love; who told me once that if he'd had me, he'd never had let me go." She said shakily, raising her eye's to look at Fred's, at the confusion in his blue eyes as he cocked his head slightly, like a confused puppy. She should have found it adorable but one word was echoing through her head – Katie. Katie. Katie.
"But-" Fred said, his eyebrow's furrowed as he looked at the brunette before him. Her hair was down around her face in wild, untameable curls, her cheeks tinged pink and her chocolate eyes watery as she look at him. Realisation dawned on his face and Hermione felt as her world came crashing down. She'd always thought that being a Gryffindor was a blessing, that bravery was what kept people strong, but perhaps in moments like this bravery was a burden.
Unable to find words she just nodded, watching as Fred stared into space, his blue eye's wide and, what Hermione thought was afraid.
"Please, Fred," she said weakly, tears rolling down her cheeks as she looked at him, but never toughing. "I never wanted you to find out like this. I never wanted you to find out at all." She blurted out "It can't happen, it won't, I won't let it, just please, say something."
But he didn't, he remained frozen, staring at nothing, her words drifting over him like the stale smoke in the air. He didn't notice as the brunette sobbed slightly, he didn't notice her grab her things before bustling her way out into the street, her coat and scarf in her hands, the freezing wind biting into her bare skin. And for the first time since he'd found her, Fred finally realised why Hermione had run away, it wasn't just to protect herself, she was protecting Fred too.
Review!