Because it Was Our Secret

Draco's POV:

So we'd said all there was to say to each other. Now it was just going to get awkward. Granger wasn't able to look me in the eye and I'd run clean out of insults. Pointy face my arse! Who did she think she was? I turned towards the door of the Astronomy Tower when I heard footsteps coming closer and closer by the second. I froze.

"Oh shit," I thought, my eyes widening as the doorknob began to turn. I chanced a glance at Granger who also looked a bit worried. And it was then that the door swung open and Harry Potter stood there staring at us accusingly with his mouth ajar. He was holding a very old beat up piece of parchment in his hands. He took his wand out and in an instant I had mine out as well. I don't know why I reacted so quickly but I was ready to hex my way out of a tight spot.

I watched as Potter touched his wand to the parchment and muttered, "Mischief managed," as he stared at me cautiously. He brought the parchment down and kept his wand up in case I was going to try and pull anything.

Granger stood up and came between us as if to create a human barricade.

"Well I've found you at last," Potter told her, as he glared suspiciously at me. "What's he doing here?"

Granger turned and looked at me, her eyebrows raised as though I were supposed to get us out of this predicament.

"I…er…came up here to think," I replied. Right, because that sounded believable.

"Right, Malfoy," Granger said with a snort. "Why don't you tell him what you were really doing up here then?"

I looked at her with my mouth open. What the bloody hell did she want me to say? Why did I even care? Why the hell was I standing here trying to explain myself to Harry Fucking Potter? I rolled my eyes and threw myself into the chair that she had been occupying a moment before.

"And why, mudblood, would I go and tell him that?" I drawled glaring at her. "It's really not his affair."

Granger, her back to Potter gave me an encouraging nod to keep going and it was then that I finally caught on.

"Oh…I see," I muttered.

Her eyes said, "Don't give us away you sexy beast."

Well…I don't know if that's what she was really thinking exactly but probably something close to that affect. I sneered.

"Besides Granger," I continued. I was improvising now. "If I'd known the whole bloody Golden Trio was going to be up here today I would've taken a rain check. I can always do my thinking elsewhere."

Potter still looked very suspicious.

"You two were being awfully quiet up here," he said after a moment. "Why weren't you two yelling and trying to kill each other and stuff?"

"Well Harry," Granger said carefully. "We sort of just ran into each other up here. He was about to leave."

She turned and stared snootily at me again.

"Oh I'm not leaving, Granger," I said stubbornly. "Seeing as Saint Potter has come to the rescue once again, I think he should be able to carry the fair maiden away from the big scary Dragon and to safety. Don't you think so?"

Granger glared at me.

"What not good enough?" I thought to myself. What the hell did she want from me? Was I not being mean enough?

"That is," I added. "If you consider a fair maiden to be Medusa…"

"What the hell is wrong with you today Malfoy?" Potter asked staring at me as though I were retarded or something. "Your edge is gone."

"I've smoked a lot today," I blurted out.

Now both of the Gryffindorks were staring at me as though I were special. I sighed and got to my feet.

"There," I snapped. "Are you happy now? Now you know the real reason why I came up here. Is that what you wanted Granger?"

"Whatever Malfoy," she muttered sighing heavily.

"Maybe you should lay off the herbs, Malfoy," Potter said grasping Granger's arm and pulling her towards the door. "It's absolutely no fun fighting with you when you're stoned."

"Yeah well maybe I just don't have it in me to fight with you all the time. Have you thought of that?" I asked.

With one last questioning glare thrown in my direction Potter whisked Granger away and shut the door behind him. I groaned and let my head fall back on the moth eaten chair.

"What the bloody hell was that?" I muttered to myself. I totally lost that battle. I sat and waited for about ten minutes before I stood and left the Astronomy Tower. Honestly I had nothing on me that I could smoke and I didn't feel like being up there at that moment in time. I kept staring at that place on the floor where Granger and I had…er…you know. And that made me feel really weird about staying in the room so I just decided I couldn't any more and left.

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That day went by rather slowly in my opinion. My mind was racing and time just couldn't keep up with me. It left me anxious and rather irritable. What the hell was I supposed to do with myself? Really?

I sat in the dungeons that evening staring listlessly at the fire and chewing on my lip and nails and shirt collar and the couch cushion and my quill.

"What's up with you?" Blaise asked me. It was half past eight.

"What do you mean?" I muttered, bits of feather shot through the air from my mouth when I spoke. Blaise reached over and took my favorite quill away from me and set it down, wiping his hand off on my robes. He didn't like Draco slobber I suppose.

"You've been far gone all day, bloke," he replied leaning forward a bit and snatching my pipe off from the table in front of me. He brought it to his nose and sniffed to see what I had. Then he took his wand out and lit up. "Not going to lie. It's a bit weird watching you chew on everything that gets close to your mouth."

I glared at him for a moment.

"And you've been chewing on shit all day long," he added.

"You wouldn't understand even if I told you Zabini," I grumbled. "You know. I think I've got myself in a tight spot."

"With the law?" Blaise asked, grinning at me.

"No… Just here at school…"

"With your grades? Cause it's a bit early to be fucking up already you know," he said letting a mouthful of smoke out.

"No Blaise!" I snapped irritably, turning away from him.

"Then what the hell's the matter?" he asked, handing me my pipe. "Cause if it's nothing serious then don't sweat it."

My mind returned to earlier that day in the Astronomy Tower. Granger and I had promised not to say a word to anybody about what had gone on between us… There it was again. I was referring to us as…well…us. What the hell did that mean anyway? I picked up my quill and began to chew on it again.

"Malfoy-" Blaise began.

I stared blankly at him just chewing away on my quill and he finally reached out and plucked it out of my hand again. He tossed it over his shoulder and handed me his Slytherin handkerchief. It was then that I tasted the bitter flavor of the ink.

"You're going to get yourself sick mate," he muttered cringing as I dabbed at my tongue with a look of disgust on my face.

"Look…" I began. "What if I told you I did something last night that I really shouldn't have done… That could perhaps ruin my reputation if it got out… And I don't know. What if I told you it was with somebody I really never thought I'd do anything with and-"

"You're gay and you hooked up with Potter!" Blaise said excitedly.

"No. I was high and I hooked up with a mudblood!" I snapped. "God Zabini. You're nasty!"

"Hooking up with a mudblood is nasty too Draco," Blaise said after his laughter had subsided. "Don't you know that?"

"Yes! Why the hell do you think I'm freaking out?" I growled. I suppose I decided to tell him because he was high and he probably wouldn't remember anyway. "What should I do?"

"Nothing," he said simply. "Just pretend it didn't happen. That's what I did."

My eyes widened quite I bit with that statement.

"Don't look so surprised mate," he replied taking another hit from my pipe. "It happens to us purebloods more than you know. Honestly it's not even really all that nasty… Just frowned upon. You don't hear about it cause it's forbidden. But since it's forbidden it's still bound to happen. So who was it?" he added staring at me intensely.

"That I won't ever tell," I said leaning back in the cushions. I began to relax for the first time that night. "And for the record. It is nasty."

He shook his head.

"So is that why you came in here all crazy looking to get laid last night?" he muttered.

"Yeah. I just couldn't get the feel of her off of my skin," I said as I turned the scene over and over in my head for the hundredth time that day. "You know? It was just there…"

"How far did you and the little mudblood go?" Blaise asked.

"Not very. She started to give me a hand job before I freaked out and ran out of the damn room like a bloody prude or something. I mean God, Zabini. What kind of man just leaves some poor girl on the floor half naked like that? Really?"

"You apparently," Blaise said laughing. "It's alright though. She's just a mudblood. They don't have feelings remember?"

"You're kidding right?" I asked my eyebrow cocked.

"Well. I guess I should say their feelings just shouldn't matter as much as ours. You know?" he stretched his legs out in front of him and smiled. "Sex is a wonderful thing."

"We didn't shag," I snapped.

"You should have," Blaise said. "Defile the pure and all that. It's so worth it. You wouldn't even know how wonderful it could be. And you can still have the world after that as long as you keep it quiet."

Blaise stood abruptly and smiled down at me.

"It's your choice mate. I won't say a word if you're worried about that. We all keep quiet when it comes to mudbloods. Don't want to ruin some of the fine opportunities that come along. I mean some of them I wouldn't even dare to touch because of what it could possibly do. Like the Granger girl. I wouldn't go near her if I was paid to loosen her up a bit," Blaise chuckled to himself. "Not in a million years."

My throat tightened but I stared up at him determined not to give myself away.

"Oh yeah?" I asked smirking. "I would for the right price. Especially if Potter was set up to catch us at it. I can only imagine the look on his face. Oh God… That would make it all worth it."

"You're the only one crazy enough to go there, Malfoy," Blaise chuckled. "But really. Don't worry so much about it. You're not the only one and half the purebloods here would shrug it off and tell you to stop running your mouth."

I was left to myself after that, not really knowing what to do with myself. I hadn't seen Pansy all night and in a lot of ways that was a blessing in itself. I guess she'd really been stressing me out lately or something. I don't know.

Even though Blaise seemed to have it all figured out I was still utterly confused. Granger wasn't just any girl. She was my enemy… And in a lot of ways that's what made her one of the closest people to me. She knew me like the back of her hand. We'd been insulting each other for so long that we'd become predictable to one another. Like an old married couple… Or an old divorced couple. You decide.

I moved up to my room a little while later and laid down. It was really early to be going to bed but honestly I had nothing better to do. Which was hilarious in my opinion. Draco Malfoy with nothing to do. That was scary. It wasn't quite curfew yet. I stared up at my ceiling my hands behind my head.

I wondered if I would ever be ready to settle down. And I wondered if that were to happen what kind of girl it would be. Would she be pretty? Would she be rich? Ah Draco Malfoy, whatever will be will be. My mother used to sing in French when I was little. And when she'd sing to me I remember a song in which those words were used.

I sat up and got to my feet again. Clearly I wasn't tired. No. It was clear I was going for a walk.

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It was not long before I found myself sitting on the marble staircase that led down to the Great Hall. I don't know what brought me there. I guess it's just where I decided I was going to sit down. I sat with my chin resting on the palm of my hand. This wasn't any better than being cooped up in the common room all night. Damn, damn, damn. I was feeling anxious like I didn't quite know what to do with myself. This is usually when I'd be up in the Astronomy Tower smoking myself out. But that wasn't appealing seeing as I'd made…pleasant memories up there. The tower was now tainted for life. I could never look at it the same again.

I heard somebody approaching me and when I saw who it was I knocked my head against the railing of the stairs. Ronald Weasley stood staring up at me, one foot on the bottom step. I glared down at him and for the first time I felt hot anger flow through my veins at the mere sight of him. That had never really happened before. Honestly, nobody really noticed him most of the time. After a moment he began to walk up towards me, never taking his blue eyes from mine.

"What?" I asked finally. He was holding a plate of chicken that he'd probably come down to get from the house elves after dinner. He looked at me and then he looked at the plate in his hands.

"Do it muggle lover," I snapped at him. I got to my feet.

"I'm only going to say this once Malfoy," he whispered venomously. "If you ever put your hands on my girlfriend again, I will cut you."

"You'll cut me?" I repeated, my eyebrows raised. I began to laugh. First it was a low chuckle and then it became a roar. "You'll cut me! Oh God, that's rich Weasel!" I was doubled over holding the railing for support. "Where did you get that from? Some muggle thug movie?"

"Yeah laugh now," Weasel-B growled. "I know you've had your eye on her for quite some time. I see the way you watch her. And I saw the way you just disappeared out of the Great Hall today after she left. Harry told me everything Malfoy. And I'm on to you."

"Potter told you what now?" I asked staring at him scowling.

"How he caught you with MY girlfriend in the Astronomy Tower. The weird part is I don't know why she covered for you. Saying it was just a coincidence. Nothing is ever a coincidence with you. Everything you do is planned out," he snapped.

"Really Weasley? Is it?" I asked. "And the mudblood didn't cover for me. I really just ran across her there."

"Yeah well let's just hope you don't run across her any where else Ferret because if you do I'll be coming after you," Weasley said. He then stormed up the stairs and began to depart.

"I'll be waiting Ronald," I drawled after him. He froze in his steps and turned slowly to face me. "You think you scare me?" I jeered. "If I wanted Granger I would snatch her away from you right under your nose. And trust me. I would never do that seeing as she is who she is and I am who I am. We would never work."

"Oh so you've thought about it?" Weasley spat at me. "That's no surprise."

"Oh I've done more than thought about it. You were there that day on the train. You should ask Granger how she keeps her lips so soft."

Weasley looked as though he was about to rip me apart and I sneered at him, daring him to come at me. He then shook his head and hurried up the steps without another word to me. I felt like telling him everything that went on in the Tower the night before. How his girlfriend had practically thrown herself on me and how I'd practically shagged her right there. But I figured that would surface eventually between the two. It was only a matter of when. Granger was too honest to keep something like that from one of her best friends. That's all he would ever be to her. I knew it and so did everyone else. Why the hell were they still trying to work it out? Why was I still thinking about it? Why did I care?

I couldn't possibly start to have feelings for her. I'd never had feelings for anyone in my life. All those girls were just sex with pulses. Nothing more.

So why couldn't I get her off of my mind?

I thought about it a little longer. Probably because I hadn't tasted her yet. Or maybe it's because I had tasted her but hadn't gotten my fill. I looked down at Mr. Sunshine. What the hell did he want from me?

A/N: All right. Thank you for your reviews. I love them with all my heart. I know it's been a while. I do plan to start updating. I got a new computer and finally have it set up so that I can write. I'm so happy I could die or something. But yeah. So here I go with it. If you liked this chapter review.