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Rory is adjusting to this being her life. When she wakes she is still slightly disorientated, neither in her dorm or Stars Hollow, and there is usually a rattle of traffic outside. She is in New York and Jess is sleeping beside her, or up making toast for their breakfast. Today he's still asleep, snoring slightly, and Rory gets up slowly so as not to wake him. She tiptoes over to the the kitchen window to look outside. It's too early to see how the weather is but Rory can predict it; another hazy, hot day with stifling air. The street below is mostly empty apart from a mother shouting at a little boy, tugging his wrist so he walks faster. "Do you want me to tell Daddy?" Rory hears her shout. They disappear around a corner and Rory turns back to the room.

"Hey," Jess says, making Rory jump. He stirs, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. "What time is it?"

"I don't know...still pretty early. You could go back to sleep."

"I'm kind of awake now," Jess says. He gives Rory a sleepy grin as she gets back into bed and puts his arm around her. "How'd you sleep?"

"Good."

Jess gives her a kiss and Rory kisses him back. He kisses her more deeply, cupping his hands around her hips, but when they break for air Rory sits up.

"I'm thirsty."

"Okay," Jess says. He sounds a little surprised but smiles as Rory gets back up. She doesn't know what's wrong with her. It just all feels so new still. Sex is good, especially sex with Jess - not that Rory can compare it with anyone else - but Rory is still shy. She's so aware of being naked. She can't relax into it, not completely. Maybe it's because when she thinks of their first time it's tangled up with the fight she had with her mother earlier in the day. Freud would have a lot to say about that, Rory thinks as she pours some water, but wasn't it supposed to be fathers, not mothers? Rory never liked the guy either way. Maybe it's not that. Maybe it's simply getting used to it. Rory doesn't regret having sex. Being aroused is a whole new feeling, there's an almost urgency to it. She was so lost in it last time she forgot the condom. Jess had one but Rory can't believe herself. She has an appointment to go on the pill on Saturday. She can't believe she would risk getting pregnant. Her mother's face looms up unwillingly, her warning, and Rory shakes herself and swallows the water. She doesn't want to think about Lorelai.

Rory makes a cup of coffee and calls over her shoulder, "You want one?"

"I'm good."

"Okay."

Rory carries her cup back to bed, careful not to spill it as she climbs in, and relaxes as she sips it.

"I'm starting at the cafe later."

"I know. You nervous?"

"Kind of," Rory admits. "But it can't be worse than cardswiping, right? I did that in a foodhall at Yale."

"It might be less dull," Jess offers and Rory grimaces. "That might make it better, right?"

"Who knows," Rory groans. "I don't know what to wear."

"I don't think they'll care too much about that. Look, you worked at the diner. It'll be a more intense version of that."

"Right," Rory says gloomily. Jess kisses her cheek and Rory sips more coffee. "You're starting at the restaurant later, right?"

"I'll be there with bells on," Jess says sarcastically and shakes his head when Rory asks if he's nervous. "I've done stuff like that before. It won't fall under the category of fun, but it's no big deal."

"I'm wishing you luck anyway," Rory says and Jess laughs. "I mean - not because I think you'll screw up - I - oh man, that sounded better in my head."

"No, I like it," Jess says and he kisses her. Rory kisses him back, feeling better than before, and this time she reaches into a drawer for a condom before things get too heavy. Jess's breath tickles her neck and Rory giggles, causing him to give her a quizzical look. Jess concentrates on kissing her some more, pulling off her tanktop, and when they're done, recovering their breath, Rory explains, "I wasn't laughing at you. You just tickled me is all."

"You threatened my virility there," Jess teases. Rory sticks her tongue out, making him laugh this time. When they've stopped giggling Rory tells him, "I've got an appointment to go on the pill this weekend. It's in New Haven."

"Oh. Cool."

"Yeah. Maybe we should still use condoms, but just in case, you know...I think it'd be safer."

Jess nods and says, "I got checked for STDs a couple of months ago and I'm fine...I haven't been with anyone else since then."

"Good. Um, thanks," Rory says and then cringes inwardly. Thanks for not being with anyone else? That sounded so stupid. Jess doesn't seem to notice, or he doesn't comment, at least. He smiles at her and asks, "Do you want me to go with you?"

"No - it's okay. I'll be fine."

"Okay," Jess says. Rory smiles at him, feeling relieved. It wasn't as awkward talking about it as she imagined. She can't imagine discussing it with Dean - not that sex ever came up with him. When they dated there was never anything further than French kissing, and it never really crossed Rory's mind that they might do more. She can't deny that her imagination went a little further after seeing him the past few weeks, but Dean is married now. And now Rory is here, with Jess, the entire thought seems crazy. Her whole life in Stars Hollow is beginning to seem like a kind of dream.

Rory pulls her tanktop and pyjama pants back on and gets out of bed. It still makes her blush for Jess to see her nude, which reminds Rory of when she was a kid and didn't want to get changed into her swimsuit in front of some other girls at the lake. They'd laughed at her and Rory had run home, and she feels the flare of that old shame once more. She shakes it off by asking, "Do you want breakfast?"

"Sure. Do you want a shower?"

"I do, but I could do that after."

"You go and I'll make it," Jess offers. "That way the water won't go crazy when it's my turn."

"Spoiling me," Rory says fondly. "I always take the shower first, why don't you?"

"I'm fine. Go on, I want to experiment with breakfast."

Rory kisses him and goes to wash. When she emerges, a towel wrapped around her head, Jess's fancy breakfast turns out to be frozen waffles and some fruit, but Rory loves it. She feels such a rush of happiness as she eats that her early morning unsureity already seems far away. Rory even feels better about the waitress gig. When it comes to it, is a first day of work any worse than a first day of school?

A few hours later and Rory has her answer. She enters the cafe, saying cheerfully, "Rory Gilmore, reporting for duty," and the woman who hired her looks her up and down and says, "Wear less fancy clothes next time."

Rory stares down at herself. After more than an hour of deliberation she'd chosen a simple cotton skirt and white T-shirt. They were some of the most neutral items in the wardrobe she brought.

"I...sorry...I..."

"Put this on," the woman says, throwing a ketchup-stained apron at her. "Smile when you serve the customers. If you have a problem ask me if I'm by you or even better, figure it out. We close at six, you'll get lunch at twelve. Any questions?"

Rory dumbly shakes her head and the woman says, "I'm Maya. Welcome to the show."

The show is a circus. Rory runs from one table to another in a whirl. At first she walked but there were so many customers and so many orders that she couldn't keep up. Maya gave her a notepad and pencil but Rory can barely write the rushed orders. She's sure cardswiping was never this bad and knows Luke's was never this bad either. When she forgets soda and extra fries for one table the customer swears at her and Rory has a horrible feeling she's going to cry. Maya sees her and, eyes softening says, "Why don't you take ten, Rory? I'll handle this."

Rory sobbed on the steps outside the back of the cafe, not even caring that there was a guy in the building opposite staring. Is it going to be this bad every day? Probably. What if she can't handle it? She can't fall apart over waitressing, especially not on her first day. Rory rubs her eyes, takes a deep breath and goes back in and Maya says, "Why don't you take your lunchbreak now?"

"But I just took ten," Rory says in a wobbly voice and Maya says, "That's okay. I'll see you in half an hour."

Rory forgot to bring food so spends a couple of dollars on a very bad hotdog from a stand and a bottle of water. She goes back in, hoping she won't contract food poisoning, but Rory's fears are wiped away by the new onslaught of customers. By the end of the shift her feet are murdering her and her head is aching. Sweat pours down her back.

"You get used to it," Maya says, sweeping up. "You learn by doing, Rory."

Rory nods, not wanting to voice her dubiousness on that, and nods again when Maya says, "I'll see you tomorrow. You can leave the apron here."

Rory walks slowly back, her feet protesting with each step. Jess smiles when she comes in and asks, "How was the first day?"

"Long. Tired. Long."

Jess laughs but Rory feels too miserable to smile. Jess's expression becomes concerned and he goes over to Rory, putting his arms around her.

"Hey," he says softly. "Was it really that bad?"

"It'll be fine," Rory says, forcing herself to sound upbeat. "It just takes getting used to."

"Right," Jess says, and he kisses her cheek. "I'll throw something together for dinner and then I have to go."

"Oh - of course." Rory had forgotten about the restaurant and a sluice of guilt washes through her. "You want me to make it?"

"No, you're tired."

"I guess I'll get changed then."

Rory finds some jeans and a shirt and goes into the bathroom. She can smell french fries all over her and is desperate to shower, but her conscience dissuades her. It would be bad for the water bill. Rory settles for splashing some water over herself from the sink and scrubbing her arms before heading back out. Jess has made sandwiches again, and Rory bites back her wish for something different. They eat quietly and Jess heads off, giving Rory a quick kiss before he goes. He doesn't comment on the french fries smell that Rory knows didn't get washed away.

It's a long, lonely evening. Rory wants more than anything to watch a dumb, mindless move that requires no concentration but it's not an option. She's too tired to read and doesn't know where the local cinema is - not that Rory can really afford to go. She lies down on the bed, closing her eyes, and without meaning to falls into a deep sleep, waking suddenly an hour later. It's scary waking up alone in the dark apartment. Rory never felt alone at Yale, not like this, and she busies herself with cleaning the apartment until Jess gets home.

The rest of the week passes by in a blur. Rory is so tired that her plan to wake up a few hours before her shifts at the cafe is scuppered almost instantly. When she's there, she goes into a kind of trance. Serve, smile, pour coffee. Rory doesn't know if she's getting any better but Maya hasn't yelled at her, apart from one time when she gave food to the wrong people. The only other waitress is a woman named Cindy, who chews gum and doesn't talk. Rory can't figure out how old she is, and seeing as Cindy shrugs at any question, Rory lets go any attempt at conversation. Not that there's much time for talking. She can't remember the last time she felt this exhausted. Jess seems tired too, but he says the new job is fine. Rory is sure he's better at juggling two than she is at one. The only good thing is getting her paycheck. On Saturday Rory wakes up with a jump, afraid she's late, and then relaxes. Her only plans today are the doctor's. After a few blessed hours in bed, Rory gets up, showers and puts on some more fancy clothes. All week she's been wearing the plainest things she could find. It feels good to wear something that won't get splattered with condiments.

Rory peels the groundsheet off the car and starts driving. Her heart is still in her mouth when she thinks about leaving it parked where it is but so far it's been fine. Her nervousness doesn't abate, just alters, as she drives back to New Haven and Rory takes a deep breath. It's like driving to another world. When she parks the car at the university buildings Rory has to battle the sensation of being a guest to them.

Rory has an appointment with the student health service. She feels a little shy as they call her name and the appointment gets started, and knows she blushes when the doctor asks, "Are you having regular sex?"

"Um, yes. I think."

"How often are you having sex?"

"Most days this week," Rory admits. "But I haven't - I mean, I wasn't having sex before. Like at all."

She can feel her face go redder but the doctor just nods. "When was your last period?"

After some more questions and a tight blood pressure pump being stiffened around her arm Rory walks away with a prescription and a packet of condoms. She feels lighter now it's done but not totally happy. Rory sinks down on a bench. She wishes she could talk to someone about this. Of course Jess is there, and Rory likes talking to him, but it's not the same. Rory wants to talk to a girl. She wants to share it with Lane or Paris, even, and if they weren't fighting, maybe her mom. Rory always told her she would and even though they're fighting, it would be a relief to tell Lorelai. But Rory knows it would be too weird. She gets out her cellphone, calls Lane, and when she picks up, says hopefully, "Hey."

"Hey, Rory! What's going on?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing," Rory says. "I'm in New Haven - I was thinking I could drive to Stars Hollow. Maybe we could catch up."

"I''d love to," Lane says sadly, "but some of Mama's cousins are in town and I have to help set up the house, and then I have band practice."

"Oh," Rory says. "No big deal."

"I want to see you though. How's New York?"

"It's good." Rory pauses, takes a breath and says, "I slept with Jess."

"You did?" Lane squeals. "How was it?"

"It was good." Rory's words seem to have dried up and Lane says firmly, "You have to see me and tell me about it for real. Maybe next week?"

"Sure. Next week is great."

"I've got to go now," Lane says. "I miss you, Rory."

"I miss you too," Rory says but she thinks Lane has hung up before she's finished saying it. Rory stares at the phone for a moment before putting it back in her pocket and leans back against the bench. She never imagined telling her best friend she lost her virginity over a phonecall. She never imagined any of this. Rory stays on the bench a little longer, sensing a strange sort of loss, before getting up and going to drive.