The New Adventures of Danny Phantom
A Danny Phantom Fanfic by Quill N. Inque
I do not own Danny Phantom
Chapter 10: Pirates and Prejudice
Deep in the bowels of Fentonworks, in the heart of Jack and Maddie's laboratory, the ghost portal's yellow-and-black striped doors dinged as the newest fugitive was thrust into the realm of the living.
Statler: Great, now we can trade places!
Waldorf: Yeah, I'll take a ghoulish pocket dimension over this crappy story any day!
Almost comically, the pirate specter known only as the Captain stumbled over the hem of his tattered coat, falling flat on his face as he left the swirling vortex behind.
"Blisterin' barnacles!" the Captain swore as he righted himself. " 'Tis just as well me old crew ain't here t'see that! Never mind, at least this ol' seadog ain't trapped in that infernal dimension. I much prefer this one, 'specially the booze. Even I can't abide the gutrot that Skulker cove makes. Although," the specter added, " I s'pose I only got meself to blame fer windin' up there."
Statler: Looks like SOMEONE doesn't have both oars in the water! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
The ghost's face grew morose. "I can't believe that li'l snip managed to beat me. I never lost a contest, not in me past life nor in this one! Mebbe that kid'll agree to a rematch, if I kin track 'im down."
The sailor checked himself briefly, and when he was sure that all his weapons were accounted for, phased through the basement ceiling and out of sight.
At the same time…
At the risk of sounding clichéd, trouble was brewing only a few blocks from the Fenton house. In the heart of Amity, crowds of people were converging upon what had originally been a small demonstration by a few dozen activists.
In short order, however, a few dozen turned into a few hundred as more and more people stopped to listen to what the unassuming man had to say.
This was hardly necessary, though; one could infer his intentions without listening to his monologue, for the hastily painted banners behind him bore the logo of the POH, which consisted of Danny's famous "DP" logo marred by a red slash.
Waldorf: I gotta say, THAT makes a statement!
Statler: Move over, I wanna see if they're sellin' any t-shirts!
"The boy is marked by the Devil!" shouted the man to the assembled masses. "His very presence corrupts life and the living, even now he plots with his unholy allies to exterminate the human race! Danny Fenton has sold his soul to Lucifer, and he must be stopped before it's too late!" the speaker's voice rose to fever pitch as the people around him began to voice their assent, blinded by their own hatred and bigotry and infused with the so-called "mob mentality".
Waldorf: Do you have any idea what these guys are so angry about?
Statler(lighting a torch): Nope. Don't care either!
Waldorf: I'm with you!
"The United States government has done nothing about the scourge of the ghost child and his ilk! They have sullied the nation's capitol, inviting him into humanity's most sacred chambers, tainting the very heart of America with his evil! If the Feds won't stop him, we will!"
"He's right!"
"The Devil walks with the Fenton boy!"
"He must be stopped!"
"Destroy him!"
Smiling wickedly, the rabble-rouser kicked open the large crate upon which he stood, spilling its contents of heavy anti-ghost weapons across the pavement. Picking up a plagiarized copy of the Fenton bazooka, he raised it above his head.
"The demon child's unholy lair is just minutes away! We'll rid the earth of his evil! WHO'S WITH ME?"
Roars of approval greeted his proposal, and moments later a small army was charging down Main Street as they cried for Danny Fenton's ectoplasm-laced blood.
Statler (panting): Wait for us!
Above them, a worried expression replaced the Captain's usually jovial smile.
"Gallopin' grape shot! I never seen nothin' like this since the French Revolution!" the ghost muttered to himself as he felt an unusual wave of concern for the boy wash over him. The pirate felt an almost overwhelming urge to help the lad, which was unusual for him. It wasn't that the Captain wasn't a bad ghost, per se, but he wasn't used to helping people often. Not unless there was something in it for him, which made sense given his occupation in life. But, though he would never admit it, the old seadog felt a certain fondness for the Fenton child. Danny's willpower, determination, and simple stubbornness reminded the Captain of himself as a boy, back in 17th century London.
"Blast!" the pirate sighed as he flew ahead of the mob, invisible to the human eye. "Must be gettin' soft in me old age."
Moving swiftly, the Captain pushed his ectoplasmic abilities to the limit, desperate to buy himself and his friend a few precious minutes to prepare for the inevitable fight.
Statler: Oh, great, now the bad guy's become the good guy!
Waldorf: Can this story get any worse?
Statler(dryly): You really have to ask?
That thought startled him as he phased through the roof of Fentonworks. It had been over two hundred years since he'd called anyone, human or ghost, a friend. The Captain had kept to himself in the Ghost Zone, largely due to his volatile temper and his steadfast refusal to go along with the schemes of Danny's other villains. And of course, the residents of this dimension wouldn't greet the pirate with outstretched arms.
It was with this in mind that the Captain materialized in the middle of the ghost child's bedroom, his hand on his cutlass hilt as Danny's ghost breath startled him awake.
The hero bolted upright in his bed, his hands glowing with ectoplasmic energy as the other ghost began to speak.
"Steady, lad!" the Captain said hoarsely as he put up his hands in a gesture of peace. "I didn' come here to fight ye!"
Waldorf(hefting a Fenton bazooka): Well, that makes one of us!
"Then why are you here? Not for a rematch, I hope," Danny said sardonically.
"Well, that was me original intention, aye," the pirate admitted. "But we've got more important problems t'worry 'bout. I came here to warn ye, yer life's in danger!"
"What?" the halfa asked, instantly awake.
"There be a mob headed this way, mate, armed to the teeth, an' they're all out to kill ye!"
"How many?"
"A score an' a half, easily, an' if ye value the lives of yer mateys, ye'll get 'em to safe place before these blokes break down yer door! I'll hold 'em off fer as long as I can!"
Statler: A 'score'? How many is that?
Waldorf: Not enough!
"No," Danny said quietly. "It's me those people want, not you. It's my responsibility to make sure they don't get in here."
Statler: Blech…All this heroism and selflessness is giving me a rash!
Waldorf(covering his nose): That's not the only thing they're giving you…
The Captain extended his mottled green hand. "Then what say ye to a temporary partnership? Ye go on an' warn yer kin, an' we'll see this lot off together!"
"That would be a good idea, except that you mentioned these guys were armed, and I'm not. Dad keeps all the equipment in the weapons vault; I don't know the combination, and you can't phase in there 'cause it's protected by an anti-ghost shield on the inside."
"We'll deal wi' that in a moment!" the pirate cried as someone began pounding on the Fentons' front door. "Get t'others to safety! GO!"
Danny sped out the door, grabbing his parents and Jazz from their beds with a speed borne of urgency. Straining his enhanced muscles to the limit, the hero turned intangible and rocketed skyward before depositing his loved ones on the safety of a nearby rooftop.
As he did so, a half-asleep Maddie noticed the worry in her son's eyes.
"What's going on, Danny?"
"No time to explain. Trust me, you're better off not knowing," the halfa replied as he soared away.
Statler: 'No time to explain'?
Waldorf: As if THAT line hasn't been used a thousand times…
Meanwhile, the Captain tapped his foot anxiously as he waited for his new ally to return. The rioters were growing more and more violent by the minute, and it didn't help that they'd already splintered the front door. The pirate didn't disguise his relief when Danny appeared beside him.
"Thank the fates! Fer a minute there, I'd thought ye'd turned tail an' run," the Captain said casually.
Danny's luminescent green eyes settled on the large crack in the door in front of him. "They're nearly through. Please tell me you managed to scrounge up something for me to use."
The Captain's sea-green eyes danced. "No need," he said. " 'Tis for situations like this 'un that I always carry a spare blade or two. Catch!"
Waldorf: It's the same with me! I always carry at least two pairs of reading glasses!
Statler(glaring at Waldorf): Well, they didn't do you much good, YOU'RE the one who was supposed to read the fine print when we signed on for this gig!
The ghost child caught the sword as his friend tossed it to him. Danny did have some previous experience with such weapons, most notably from the incident where Vlad, with the stolen Infimap, had tried to seize control of a Tibetan monastery. But the perfectly balanced, diamond-edged katana Danny had used then was vastly different from the top-heavy, curved blade he now found himself holding.
"What are ye doin', watchin' the tide come in? Let's go outside an' say hello!" the Captain snarled.
"Wait."
"Aye?"
"I know they want me dead, but even so, I will not take a life, whether it's a ghost or a human. Stooping to their level would only prove them right."
"An' ye wan' me t'do the same?" Danny's comrade asked.
"Yes."
The ghost sighed. "If'n ye speak truly, then ye be the noblest man on earth, givin' such undeserved mercy to rabble such as this. Very well, lad, these knaves'll live to see th'dawn."
Waldorf: Oh, come ON! THAT IS SO WEAK!
Statler: Quill takes the fun out of EVERYTHING!
"Agreed," the halfa replied as the two specters walked through the walls to face the rioters. The POH's shouts were momentarily muted by the pirate's admittedly fearsome appearance, and Danny used that opportunity to try to reason with them.
"This is my home! Why are you doing this? Can't you see that I'm not the villain here?"
"Don't try to fool us with you lies, devil-spawn!" shouted the man who'd spoken at the park. "Tonight, we'll purge the Earth of your evil! GET HIM!"
As the crowd closed in on them, the Captain's face split into a feral grin. "Thirty against two, eh?"
Danny smiled back at him. "I'll take those odds."
A/N: Hi, guys, I'm back! But really, it's not like we ALL didn't see this coming! XD
Coming up: Danny and his friend face a homicidal POH lynch mob! You can't help but feel sorry for them.
The POH, that is….
Your humble servant,
-Quill N. Inque