Disclaimer: I do not own Edward Cullen. But I do own Ichabod, Oscar, Reeth, and Veronica.
I walked through the doorway expecting to see Edward right there. But to my surprise, he wasn't.
"Hello?" I asked across the first floor of the house.
"Reeth?" I heard a low velvet voice respond. I closed my eyes and let the vibrations linger in my ears a little longer. I knew I would have to appreciate what I could of Edward. I barely even noticed Ichabod and Oscar upstairs, arguing.
"Edward?" I asked, searching fro him hungrily. He appeared around the corner from the living room.
"What were you doing in there?" I asked him curiously. The sight of him set another tremor soaring through my limbs.
"Um, I was looking at your pictures... you know... across the fireplace mantle," he replied softly. I felt the strongest urge to cry. I fought hard to purge my mind of the memory of my parents.
"What happened to your parents?" he asked. He looked genuinely concerned.
"Oh... uh... I don't really want to talk about it..." I faded. I fell into my big fluffy armchair in the front sitting room. He walked over slowly.
"Okay then," he replied gently. I propped my elbows on my knees and cradled my face in my hands. My parents had loved me so terribly much.
"So what exactly did you want to talk about?" I asked him, breaking the silence. I knew he was picking apart my brain and I really didn't want it happening about those specific memories. The plastic covering the patio door blew violently from the wind. I smelled the pine from the woods, comforting.
"I wanted to talk about you," he answered. I looked at his beautiful face. He looked pained.
"What about me?" I asked concerned. Edward came over to me and took my hand.
"What are you doing?" I asked trying to stop my heart from pounding. I tried to keep from thinking about Edward in that way. He pulled me up from the chair, standing me close to him. He looked really upset.
"What's wrong?" I asked, sad because he had let go of my hand. Never be mine.
"I cannot even begin to apologize enough for what my family and I have done to you," he said in a strained tone. I tilted my head.
"What do you have to apologize for? It was your brother that did this anyway," I said in comfort. He glared at me.
"Even so... and please... don't mention Jasper right now," he said firmly. I realized that I was blaming his family which he still felt responsible for.
"Well you start by apologizing for giving this great new life...and my new friends..." I joked. Edward laughed softly, only once. He was truly upset about this entire situation. He blamed himself for everything.
"Please... don't make excuses.... you couldn't possibly mean that," he said looking down at his feet.
"Stop," I demanded. He looked up at me curiously.
"Stop what?"
"Stop blaming yourself.... I am beginning to like what I am," I assured him. He sighed.
"I am not going to win with you am I?" I asked him. He looked at me, a smirk starting to form on his face.
"Nope," he said somewhat cheerfully.
"So what is it about me that you want to talk about?" I asked, trying to ignore the growling going on upstairs. It sounded like Ichabod.
"They don't like me very much," Edward said looking up at the ceiling. I shrugged.
"What reason have they got?" I asked. Edward looked back at my face and his eyes kept going down. He laughed softly and pinched a small piece of the fabric from my white sweater.
"Were you out in the woods or something?" he asked amused. I looked down and saw my sweater covered in blotches of dirt.
"Oh... yeah," I said.
"You smell like the forest," he commented. I immediately grabbed a small piece of my hair and sniffed it delicately. I liked the refreshing scent of moss.
"How can you do that?" he asked in awe. I narrowed my eyes but still let my smile beam across my face.
"What?" I asked sheepishly. He reflected for a moment.
"How can you act so human? You're still a very young newborn," he answered. I shrugged.
"How can you act so human?" I asked in response. His smile grew wider.
"Touché," he added.
"So what is it that you wanted to talk about.... you know.... about me?" I said feeling a rush of warmth spread across my cheeks. His eyes twinkled.
"Wow..." he faded. I felt myself blush harsher.
"I know... I'm weird... with my blushing and all," I said looking down to my feet.
"It's not only that... you heart... its beating harder," he thought to himself aloud, "I wonder if I..." He reached out and pressed his on my chest. I felt my heart race now. Edward gulped.
"Your heart's beating faster," he commented again. I liked the feel of his cool skin on my mine. I started to feel the urge that Veronica had been talking about. But it was tolerable. To my surprise, Edward didn't finch away from my heat or thoughts.
"I don't get you," I said abruptly. Edward looked back to my face, pulling his hand away from my heart.
"What?" he asked.
"I don't get you," I repeated. Edward smiled slightly.
"What about me do you not understand?" he asked curiously.
"You love Isabella, right?" I asked. Edward stiffened and it was evident that this conversation had taken on a much more serious tone.
"More than my own life," he answered wryly. I looked down at my feet. I was never going to be Isabella. Edward's jaw tightened underneath his skin.
"So then why are you here?" I asked looking at my shaking fist. My knuckles became whiter than I thought possible. Edward cleared his throat.
"Because... I have no clue who or what you are.... you are something that my family has made... and I think I should have some part in your new life," he replied as seriously as he could. It was obvious that he was trying to avoid any opportunity for me to think that there was some sort of feeling on his part. This bothered me.
"What do you care what I am? You'll never understand half of me," I snapped, walking off into the kitchen. I looked down into my sink, worried that I might puke.
"That's not going to happen," Edward reminded me. I scoffed at him. I knew that it was impossible fore me to throw up. I just felt nauseous, probably from my rattling bones.
"I care about what you are because you should be dead right now... but you're not," he whispered. The growling upstairs had seemed to stop.
"Well I'm sorry to disappoint.... didn't know I was only going to be one more burden in your hectic life," I retorted. Edward rolled his eyes.
"That's not what I meant and you know it," he replied gently. I took hold of the faucet, trying to channel my anger.
"You love Bella... yet," I faded. Edward's eyes narrowed.
"Yet what?"
"Yet you, who could kill her with a mere flick of the wrist, stay with her. You know you can't be with her forever. Especially when she's only human... you won't condemn her to this life. But you let her believe that forever could exist with you. You're sick," I growled, feeling the extreme jealousy run through my pulsating veins. I heard the faucet give way and noticed that I had bent it to an extreme angle. Edward had turned away from me now.
"How could you know all that?" he asked, shocked.
"I may be new at this but I am not a complete nit witt," I snarled, "I see what I see. I know what I know about the supernatural. You can thank my father for that," I finished. I noticed then that I had sounded like Veronica when she had battled with Jacob earlier today.
"I know it's not fair to her... you have no clue of the guilt I feel of Bella... I warned her but she's persistent," he argued.
"Well you shouldn't lead her on anymore," I said wondering where the original subject of our conversation had gone. Perhaps it was my envy that caused the new subject.
"I... I can't do that," he choked out. I should've felt bad for him. I should have gone on to console him. But for some reason, I stayed. I stayed, frozen in time with only my jealousy to keep me company. I knew he would never be mine... but if I couldn't have him then no body could.
"Well then I hope you enjoy your torture on that girl," I growled, walking past him. I made my way for the stairs.
"This conversation is over," he said with finality. I realized then that he was proceeding to leave.
"Don't go," I yelped with desperation. Edward stopped in front of the door and turned to face me.
"Why should I stay? It is clear that you have nothing you want to talk about with me," he complained. I sighed, walking over to him cautiously.
"Look... forget about what I said okay? What questions do you have for me?" I asked trying to stall time.
"Um... well one of my questions is about your... eyes..." he faded. I remembered that one of my eyes were his golden topaz color. And the other one was still my hazel.
"What about them?" I wondered.
"Well... newborn's eyes are usually a vivid red. The golden color doesn't usually show until months after you rebirth," he explained, "So your eyes were always hazel before... you know?"
"Yes... I assume that my wolf half holds on to that color. And I assume you know about my dietary habits," I answered.
"Yes... we share the same principles. But what about human blood?"
"You want to know how I can control my thirst..." I stated. Edward nodded.
"Hmmm... well... I cannot pretend like it is not tempting. But for some reason I have the capacity to ignore it," I said, shocked myself.
"Do you realize how much of a feat that is in itself?" he asked. I shrugged.
"I am wondering how long my patience will last," I admitted. Edward nodded.
"You might want to think about hunting soon... you're eye is getting darker," he suggested.
"Thanks for the tip." There was a rustling coming from my bedroom now. My door opened. I knew Ichabod and Oscar were going to make their way down.
"I have to go," Edward blurted out. I shook m head.
"No... stay... that way I know you're safe," I said sheepishly. Edward reached for the doorknob.
"I'm not the one you need to be worrying about Bella," he said. I felt my throat muscles tighten.
"I'm Reeth," I said through my clenched teeth. Edward's eyes widened.
"Sorry... Look... I need to go... just watch out for you coven... they're not as honest as you think," Edward mumbled before darting through the door. I heard Ichabod scoff at the top of the stairs. I looked up to see him and Oscar right behind.
"What the hell was he talking about?" I asked worried. Oscar eyes glowered.
"Nothing Reeth... forget about it," Ichabod urged. They ran down the stairs now and stood in front of the picture window. I heard Edward's car drive away.
"Nice car, asshole," Ichabod growled through the window.
"So... did you learn anything interesting?" Oscar changed the mood. I shrugged.
"Yeah... I think I am a natural at this stuff. I see to know a lot more about the supernatural than I thought I did. And I made some new friends," I said gratefully. Ichabod laughed mockingly. I narrowed my eyes. Oscar cleared his throat.
"Well that's good," Oscar said awkwardly.
"Look Ichabod... as much and you hate to hear it... I am what I am... so you need to respect wolves a bit more," I defended. Ichabod walked over to me now, his face full of shame.
"You're right... I'm sorry," he apologized. His hand came up from underneath my chin, his thumb caressing my smooth chin. I wished I was able to love him back. What he felt was what I felt for Edward. This was so messed up. Just then a familiar scent came toward the door. It was Veronica.
"You guys don't mind if she stays... right?" I asked hopeful. Ichabod rolled his eyes and looked to Oscar. I figured Ichabod would agree to anything I wanted. Oscar smiled.
"Any friend of yours is a friend of ours," he replied. I realized how much I appreciated Oscar's open-mindedness. There was a knock on the door. I rushed over and opened excitedly.
"What are you knocking for? You know I want you here," I greeted her. Veronica's cheeks were flushed. I looked at her snarly hair, messed up from Jacob I assumed. There was a twig poking out from behind her head with a leaf still attached to it. She smiled, happily walking into the front room. I pulled the twig out from her brown curly locks.
"Geesh... where were you?" I asked showing her the stick. She blushed at the sight.
"We'll talk about that later... Hey there leech," she said to Ichabod. He growled. Oscar laughed lightly.
"Hello Veronica," Oscar addressed. She smiled politely. He held his hand out. Veronica looked at it for a moment. She then took it and they shared the first hand shake.
"Welcome to our home, feel free to stay here any time you like," Oscar said friendly. Ichabod walked back over to the picture window.
"Thanks a lot Oscar. I am here to have an uh... sleep over with Reeth. Figured the more information she got, the more helpful it would be," she said cheerfully. I looked down to her hip and noticed a large tear in the side of her jeans. It looked like some one had taken a machete and ripped them open.
"What the hell?" I said poking the gaping tear. She laughed heartily.
"I said later," she reminded me. I shoved her playfully.
"You're so gross," I remarked.
"You wait," she warned.
"Well, Reeth, since you've got company then you wouldn't mind if Ichabod and I went hunting then?" Oscar asked. I smiled.
"No it's fine. Come home soon though," I said, looking for Ichabod. He smiled widely.
"Sure thing," Ichabod agreed happily. They both ran through the front door in a flash. Veronica sighed.
"Good, then we talk Jake in private then," she said joyously. I laughed.
"I knew it... so I assume that he made that huge hole," I prodded. She blushed some more in response.
"Well... I guess you could say that you're more aggressive when you're not scared of hurting each other," she said plainly. I looked away for a moment.
"Oh," I said shyly. She laughed hard.
"What?" I asked curiously.
"You're so innocent... like you've never actually," she said before busting out another chuckle.
"I haven't," I admitted. She stopped and looked at me surprised.
"Are you serious?" she said wide-eyed. I nodded, looking down at my feet.
"Oh... geez... didn't know I was talkin' to an amateur," she joked.
"Oh please... I may be a virgin but it doesn't mean I've never gotten physical," I said in defense. She rolled her eyes playfully.
"Yeah but you're missin' the best part of it," she retorted.
"It must be the best part... look at what a mess you are," I said pulling at a curl of her messy hair. She slapped my wrist off.
"I happen to like my sex hair," she joked.
"You wanna shower or anything?" I offered. She sighed gratefully.
"I'd love a shower," she admitted.
"Well go ahead... I'll make you a place to sleep," I said showing her up the stairs.
"Cool," she said walking into the bathroom. I pointed to the towel hanging on the rack. She smiled and shut the door. I looked into my room and immediately saw my reflection in the mirror. I still could not believe that it was my reflection. I walked up slowly to it, watching my hips sway back n' forth. The silky green material highlighted my curves. I was thankful that Ichabod had gone shopping for me. I placed my hands on my flat stomach. It was odd feeling my new body. I had been so accustomed to being painfully large. I looked back at my face in the mirror. The skin was smoother now, paler, and more desirable. But as pretty as I was now... I knew I would never look as good as Bella looked to Edward. I tried to forget about Edward and Bella. He had said he loved her... more than his own life. How could I compare to that? She had his love and I knew it. I wanted to lie to myself and say that it wasn't real. But it was useless. What I had with Edward wasn't real compared to their obvious bond. It was only my instinct that drew me to him. He would never feel this way. I had to face it. I heard Veronica clear her throat. I turned away from the mirror abruptly. She smiled.
"You act like you've never seen yourself before," she remarked. I shrugged.
"This is a new body," I added. She walked over to my desk and sat in the corresponding chair.
"You mean... you weren't always this pretty?" she asked curiously.
"Never," I answered. She shrugged.
"Must be a vampire thing right?"
"Right." Veronica's stomach growled.
"You hungry?" I asked obviously.
"No," she said sarcastically. I laughed.
"Well go on and eat something. Can't let all this food go to waste," I said walking down the staircase. She followed closely behind.
"So you can't eat food... can you," she said walking over to the fruit bowl on the kitchen counter. She looked at the faucet, bent from my fierce grip.
"What the hell?" she said pointing to the sink. I blushed.
"I got a little... angry," I admitted. She mouthed "oh".
"Yeah... guess you can call it a destructive phase," I joked. She took a bite of a Macintosh apple.
"And to answer your question... it's a no. I never get hungry. Only... thirsty," I said. Veronica nodded.
"What's it like to drink blood?" she asked curiously, in between bites of her apple. I shrugged.
"It's like eating your favorite meal after you've been starving for weeks.... but that's only when you drink... human blood. With animal blood... it's like you are trying to loose weight... you're never satisfied," I answered thinking about the huge difference between human and animals. I felt the memory of my parents prod against my skull. But I managed to stop them in time.
"Ugh... that sounds gross," she commented. I laughed.
"You're chewing sounds gross," I retorted. She smiled.
"Bitch." I threw my head back in laughter.
"So... how's Jake?" I asked devilishly. She laughed and threw her apple core away. She immediately reached for another one.
"Oh... he's absolutely splendid," she answered, pursing her lips at the thought.
"So do Sam and Quil know about you two?"
"To an extent. I mean... they think that we flirt in good humor... but they don't know about what goes on between us. Well, from my point of view," she answered honestly. I tilted my head.
"From your point of view?" I asked confused.
"Oh... I never told you..." she faded.
"Well, when you are apart of a pack... you can hear what everyone else is thinking... creepy huh?" she informed me. I thought about Edward's special ability.
"Yeah... creepy..." I faded into thought.
"What's with you?" she asked with a mouthful of apple.
"Huh?" I asked as she pulled me out of my trance.
"You seem... upset... what did he do now?" she asked worriedly.
"Who?" I played dumb.
"Edward," she said sharply. I felt a flash of heat hit my cheeks.
"How did you know he was here?" I asked. She laughed softly.
"Aside from the stench... I remember you saying something about him coming over just before we left for the rez," she explained.
"He smells pretty good to me," I confessed.
"Ugh... don't remind me. I still cannot believe you imprinted on someone so early... but then again... you do not choose these things... they choose you," she said darkly. I nodded in agreement.
"Yeah... if I were in my right mind... I probably wouldn't have chosen this masochistic way of life," I remarked. Veronica tilted her head.
"You're suffering from this?" she asked. I sighed.
"Well... it seems like we're in the same boat... you and I," I said. Veronica threw away her apple core once again.
"I'm not picking up what you're throwing down," she stated. I looked down at my feet, scraping them against the kitchen tiles.
"He's in love with a human girl too. Just like Jacob... as if my chances weren't slim enough... he's in love with someone else," I said solemnly.
"Look... just because you can't have Edward... doesn't mean you can't substitute," she said in hopes of cheering me up. I scoffed at the idea.
"Who could possibly replace Edward?" I asked sorrowfully. She sighed.
"Hello... you've got Ichabod... and as smelly as he is... he's kind of hott... take advantage of that... you gotta realize that Ichabod is probably hurting just as much as you right now," she said walking over to me now. I felt a wetness form in my eyes.
"He doesn't know about my imprinting on Edward..." I said softly. I felt a tear roll down my face. I looked up at Veronica.
"Even so... holy shit Reeth," she said shocked. I felt my eyebrows furrow.
"What?" I asked concerned. She wiped the tear off of my face.
"You're crying... isn't that impossible... for a vampire..." she whispered. Just then Ichabod and Oscar walked through the door, their eyes gleaming a bright gold color. Ichabod rushed to my side when he saw my expression.
"Reeth, what's wrong?" he asked worried. Oscar gasped.
"Is she actually crying?" Oscar asked amazed. Veronica growled.
"Yeah, she is," she answered.
"And the whole time I thought that these tears were only a figment of my imagination," I said trying to cheer myself up. It seemed hopeless.
"What did you say to her?" Ichabod snarled at Veronica.
"Nothing..." she scowled.
"I'm fine Ichabod... it's just that... so much has happened... I'm wondering if it will ever slow down," I lied. Ichabod pulled me into his massive chest. I felt the sobs come out more frequently now. Ichabod didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve a disappointment like me.