Chapter 9

Jason takes a deep breath as he stands outside of the door to Kevin Collins' office. He and Elizabeth have been attending sessions together with Dr. Collins for the last 3 months. Dr. Landry sometimes joins them via video conferencing. He and Elizabeth had agreed to the counseling thinking it might, at the least, help them become friends again and better co-parents. The best case scenario is that they will find a way to be more than friends again. For the most part, things between them have become easier over the last few months.

They have worked through a lot of issues they had told themselves they were over but really weren't. Kevin has taken them back to the beginning of their friendship and brought them forward through Lucky's return and Liz's waffling between Lucky and Jason.

Next up was Sonny's fake death, Jason becoming involved with Courtney so quickly, Liz's disastrous relationship with Rick, and all the tension both relationships caused between them. The hit and run with Courtney was a hard issue to work through and Jason is still not sure Elizabeth is really past his protecting Courtney. Looking back he can't believe he did what he did.

Where they are now is even harder. Elizabeth's pregnancy and her thinking he meant he wouldn't put the baby before Sam. He hadn't realized how much hurt and anger he still had over Elizabeth asking him to give up Jake. At least now he understands it was as much about keeping Jake away from Sam as it was about helping Lucky. Because of Sam's history of stupid decisions that put both her and Jason on the run and in danger, Elizabeth had been worried Sam would do something stupid while Jake was around and put him in danger.

He never realized how much pain he caused Elizabeth by his continual rejection of her when she was fighting to be with him and he realizes now that she never really believed it was hard for him to walk away. He also realizes that letting Sam back into his life had convinced Elizabeth that he hadn't really wanted her and he didn't really want to be Jakes father. Thinking he didn't want Jake had hurt her most of all.

Deep down he can't understand how she thinks some of the things she does but knows it doesn't make the thoughts any less painful so he just keeps working to make things better. He takes another deep breath as he opens the door to Kevin's office and wonders what new ripples will result from today's session.

Elizabeth is already in Kevin's office. She had arrived a few minutes earlier after finishing an individual video conferencing session with Dr. Landry and is emotionally drained but wants to continue because she feels like they are making progress. She feels they have worked through most of their issues. The hardest one is Sam. She is still trying to figure out how to let that go. She used to think that if Jake hadn't been part of the equation and Sam had only hurt her, it would be easier to forgive Jason, like she had when he protected Courtney after the hit and run. Now she realizes she still had residual feelings about Jason and Courtney but hopefully she's worked through those.

She has been stuck on the idea that she would be letting Jake down by letting Jason back into her life in a meaningful way. She kept telling herself she couldn't stand the thought of Jake looking at her with disgust and pain some day and wondering how she could forgive that Jason didn't seem to care that Sam had hurt him. She has come to realize that she will already have to admit to Jake that she allowed Sam around him with Lucky and try to explain that and knows there is no excuse good enough. She looks up as the door opens and Jason walks over and takes the chair next to hers. She wonders what this session will bring to the forefront.

When the session ends, Elizabeth is reeling. She had admitted to questioning whether she is truly holding back for Jake's sake or if she is really holding back because she is afraid that if she accepts that Jason has changed she won't have an excuse not to be with him. After all, she is already allowing him to be a father to the boys so whether she is with him or not Jake's reaction could be the same. She had admitted that the thought of opening her heart to Jason again scares the hell out of her.

In turn, Jason admitted that one of the biggest reasons he had kept turning Elizabeth away was that he didn't believe she could continue to love him once she experienced his life and realized who he really was and what he did as Sonny's enforcer. He admitted to himself and to her that he realized he had been hanging out with Sam pre-drug days because he was lonely and was using her to not be sitting at the PH alone. He had also admitted that although he would like to think he would never have slept with her but for the drugs, part of him is not sure that is true. He had acknowledged that nothing can excuse the disrespect he showed his son by having Sam in his life, but insisted the only alternative to living in the past, full of regret, is to move forward and make sure Jake knows without a doubt how much he is loved.

Kevin tell them he thinks they should take a couple of weeks off from the joint counseling and decide if continuing will be beneficial or if they think their individual counseling is enough.

After Kevin leaves, Elizabeth and Jason sit there for a moment in silence. Jason looks at Elizabeth who is sitting there quietly with her head down. "What happens now?"

Elizabeth looks up at Jason and replies, "I'm not sure. Right now I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. I think I'd like too take a ride and just feel the wind."

Jason grins and replies, "Let's go. Are you riding with me or taking your bike?"

"Oh, I think mine. I need to feel the full rush of the wind," Elizabeth tells him.

As they ride the cliff roads, Jason remembers how shocked he was to find out that Elizabeth had her own motorcycle. He is still a little amazed that such a small woman can handle a bike, even one custom built for her. He had been equally surprised when Elizabeth invited him to go with her to one of the buildings on her property and it turned out to be a gym and indoor shooting range. He still can't believe that Elizabeth is such a good shot or that she can give him a run for his money in a self defense workout.

Elizabeth had been just as surprised to find out that her comment about swing dancing hadn't been completely off. He had been taking dance lessons knowing how much she loved to dance. She had laughed when she found out he had learned to ride a bicycle so they could ride together since he had thought she couldn't have her own motorcycle.

They have enjoyed time together doing all these things but the best time together is spent with the boys or in her studio. They still enjoy spending quiet time in her studio, him reading while she paints.

As Elizabeth motions it's time to turn around and head home, Jason vows to try harder to move them forward.

It has been two months since Jason had vowed to himself to do more to move his relationship with Elizabeth to the "more than friends" category. He is standing in front of the mirror in his bedroom looking at himself all dressed up in a new Italian suit with a blue shirt. He smirks as he admits he is wearing the shirt because he knows Elizabeth likes him in blue. It seems like such a girly thing to do but he is pulling out all the stops tonight. It is Elizabeth's birthday and he has invited her to dinner at the Metro Court. Carly is going all out with a special table, special menu and lots of unsolicited advice.

When they had started counseling, Elizabeth and he had agreed not to talk about being in love in the present while they were trying to deal with the past and he has honored that until now. He has decided tonight he is going to tell Elizabeth he still loves her and wants to be with her. He thinks it is time to move forward and is hopeful she is ready.

Jason arrives at Elizabeth's, lightly knocking on the door as he walks in. He is thankful that they are past his having to act like a guest and he can come and go as he pleases. Francis greets him and tells him Elizabeth isn't down yet. Jason starts to go upstairs but Francis grabs his arm.

Francis shakes his head at Jason and says, "Jason, you should wait here for Elizabeth.

Women usually like to make an entrance when they are all dressed up for special occasions."

Jason looks at Francis in surprise and asks, "How do you know these things?"

Francis just grins and states with a little too much pride, "Experience."

Jason starts to reply but looks up and sees Elizabeth descending the stairs. She is always beautiful to him but she is exceptionally beautiful tonight. His mouth goes dry as he tries to speak, "Elizabeth you look beautiful. No, beautiful isn't enough to describe how you look. There are no words."

Elizabeth blushes and smiles. "Thank you. You look pretty yummy yourself."

"Yummy?" Jason queries.

"Elizabeth just winks at him and asks, "Where are we going?"

"We are going to the MetroCourt. Do you really think I could get away with taking you anywhere else for your birthday? Carly would kill the both of us," he laughs.

Elizabeth laughingly replies, "So true. Come on, let's go."

"Wow," Elizabeth says when they walk in to the metro Court dining room. It is obvious which table is theirs. Carly has gone all out. The table has been placed next to the balcony windows making it easy for them to step outside for air if needed. There is more space than normal between their table and the other tables. The table is sparking with special candles and flowers.

"I can't imagine what she is planning on feeding us," Elizabeth says to Jason.

"Don't worry," they hear Carly say as she walks up to them. "The food and wine will knock your socks off, if not more than that."

"Carly," Jason says warningly as Elizabeth just giggles and says, "Bring it on Carly and let's just see if it's as good as you think."

Carly just grins at them and says, "I'm turning you over to your waitress now. Have a good night and happy birthday Elizabeth."

"Thank you Carly," Elizabeth says and gives her a quick hug as their waitress approaches.

Dinner is over and Jason and Elizabeth are on the dance floor dancing to a slow dance. Jason is patting himself on the back for the dancing lessons. The dinner was everything Carly promised and now he is enjoying holding Elizabeth as they dance. He can feel her heart racing and is sure she can feel his.

Jason bends his head, kisses Elizabeth on the temple and says, "Happy birthday Elizabeth."

"Thank you," Elizabeth murmurs, thinking how warm and secure she feels at this moment wrapped in Jason's arms.

Jason decides to leap off the cliff so to speak and begins to speak softly, "Elizabeth, I love you. I never stopped loving you. I love that our life now is different than it was when we tried to be together before. I love being able to be with you here in public and to hold you and not worry that someone might see us. I love that we have so much fun together and with the boys. I love watching what a wonderful mother you are and I love the woman you have become as much, if not more, than the woman you were. I just love you and want to be with you."

Elizabeth raises her head and looks into Jason's eyes. "I love you too, Jason. I love the time we spend together as friends and the time spent with the boys as a family is all I dreamed it could be. I never stopped loving you even when I doubted you. I love the man you have become as much, if not more, than the man you were. I love you and want to be with you too."

Jason takes her hand and leads her back to the table thinking he'll take her home and see if she'll let him stay with her, even if it is just to hold her while she sleeps. When they arrive at the table they find an envelope lying on Elizabeth's purse. Elizabeth opens the envelope and laughs. She hands Jason the room key that is in the envelope and reads him the note Carly has left.

Jason and Elizabeth,

If you have come to your senses, there is a special room awaiting you. You two are meant to be together. I love you both.

Carly

Elizabeth picks up her purse and retrieves her cell phone, calling Francis to let him know she won't be home until the morning. Holding her hand out to Jason and she asks, "Will you come with me?" Jason takes her by the hand and follows her thinking things are finally going to be the way they should be.

Jason's phone is off so he doesn't know that Spinelli and Winnie are on their way to Elizabeth's with disturbing news about Sam MCall.