Live by the Omake, Die by the Omake
or Pwned in the End
by Shade

Disclaimer: Naruto not mine, original non-yaoi body-switch story by Genericrandom.

It's a trap.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Naruto Uzumaki 'Uchiha' was ready. The last of the night's work was done
and all the preparations for his Grand Revenge were complete.

Come tomorrow, his nemesis was going to become Fate's little Bitch.

He laughed darkly, noting absently that this body really was well suited for it.

"Your ass is grass, Sasuke!"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Kakashi Hatake felt nothing but peace and brotherly love for his fellow citizens of Konoha this fine day.
In his hand was the newest book of the Icha Icha saga, hot off the presses and signed by the author himself.
The news had also come that the shooting for the Icha Icha movie was nearly finished, which was enough
to bring tears to the uncovered eye of the Copycat Ninja.

Nothing could ruin this day, this hour, this moment-

Except for the large graffiti spray painted across the stone faces of the Hokage monument.

And it said....

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

His mind desperately tried to erase the knowledge of what he saw there, the horrible words that
ate into his soul and stripped away all light and joy in the world.

His book dropped into the dust. What did it matter now? It was ruined, totally ruined for him now.
What kind of sick monster would do something like this? Why would they want to take away the single
great pleasure in a simple ninja's life? And most importantly of all, who was the soon to be buried rat
bastard who had posted those spoilers to his Icha Icha out in public like that?!

He looked closer.

'Signed by NARUTO'

"..."

Twitch. Twitch.

"Oh my god, did you see the paper this morning? They're cancelling the Icha Icha Movie!"

Kakashi suddenly turned to stone, unnoticed by the small crowd of men gathering around the nearby news stand.

"They're what?! But why?"

"According to this, the lead actress Princess Yukie is pregnant and has decided to elope with the father of her unborn child."

Gasps of shock and outrage.

"How scandalous! Do they have any clue as to who he might be?"

"Not really, only something about blonde hair and orange..."

The whitehaired ninja's world shattered into a million pieces.

Thrusting his hands up at the sky, Kakashi screamed at the heavens.

"WHY MUST YOU TAKE AWAY ALL THAT IS GOOD AND PURE?!!"

And then came the tipping point.

"What the hell are you doing, Kakashi-sensei?" The Jounin stiffened and then slowly turned to face the speaker. His vision began
to dissolve into a haze of red as he beheld the puzzled visage of 'Naruto' Uzumaki.

"Naruto, it has been my pleasure to be your teacher and friend. But I'm afraid you have to die now."

"Is this another one of your weird jokes, Kakashi-sensei?"

The answer to the blond youth's query came in the "chirp-chirp" of a Chidori powering up.

Confused though he might be, there was nothing wrong with Sasuke's sense of survival.

Upon seeing the psychotic bloodshot gleam in both of the masked ninja's now uncovered eyes, he turned and fled for his life.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Sasuke panted on his knees, trying to get his wind back after being chased over half the village
by the demented Copy-Nin who'd been cackling madly about 'Getting to the head of the class' and
'Dead ninjas spoil no tales'. He'd finally managed to lose Kakashi through judicious use
of Shadow Clones and lots and lots of running madly for his life.

Somehow he knew this had to be Naruto's fault. It almost always was sooner or later.

"Dynamic Ass Whupping!!!"

Sasuke lept up as a large green blur exploded from above into the ground on which he'd just been occupying.

"What do you think you're doing Guy-"

The short orange jacketed ninja's jaw dropped open as the dust cleared and he finally got a good look at his latest attacker.

"What the hell happened to your eyebrows?!"

He couldn't believe it. The large bushy eyebrows that normally looked like fat furry parasites
latched onto the tops of Might Guy's eyes were missing. They'd been completely shaved off.

And the resulting change to the spandex ninja's face was...was...

Sasuke tried hard to control himself. He would not laugh. He was the master of control. He would not-

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh it hurts, it hurts!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"Third Gate, RELEASE!!!"

"AHAHAHAHAhaha..haha...oh shit."

Run Sasuke. Run.