Epilogue
I float drearily in the Sacred Realm, knowing it has only been a day since I have returned. However, for some reason, I feel like it has been far too long. I still reminisce of my time with her, and I can envision her perfect smile and her wonderful eyes. Those eyes, blue like the night sky, yet kind at the same time. I have never seen something like that, both dark and kind.
I suppose it is a metaphor for my life, a sad attempt to change made by an unchangeable soul. But tell me, are they right? Am I such a horrid, evil monster still? All I know is that it does not matter now, for I am once again lost.
Wasn't that what she had called me? A lost little boy? Then again, boys are innocent, and I am not so. And of all the things I have learned from the time I spent in my lovely world (which was far too short), the most important is that lost little boys should never reach for a way out. For that thing that looks like a light is nothing but a fantasy gone wrong.
I am a miserable wretch, doomed to never be loved and, more importantly, to never be forgiven. How can they be so cold? Even the smallest creature deserves some solace once in a while. But then again, maybe not. For I am the smallest creature. I am the one who has been banished here despite my desperate attempts to escape this inevitable prison.
Like the plague, it sickens me with a sorrow unlike any that anyone has ever experienced before. Each minute I grow more and more despairing, and I will never be comforted, for in this prison, even death is not an optional escape. I see that there is no escape from now on, and for that I am more sorrowful than most things make me.
It's not the emptiness, or the lack of things to do, or the fact that I am trapped for all eternity. It is the loneliness: The terrible loneliness that keeps dripping, like the blood of a wound, ever so slowly. I see that one cannot experience true loneliness until one has experienced love, and I wish that I had never put her in the danger that I put myself in.
For I would not be lonely if I knew she was alive. I'd be happy if she was safe and sound, in the arms of her poor mother and father, who are probably now almost as lonely as I am. But at least they have each other.
If you want the happy ending to my story, it is this: I, the evil villain, have finally found love, and although she died, her memory will live on, and I will love her forever more.
If you want the true ending to my story, it is this: I, a soul desperate for comfort, found it only briefly, too brief to admit my feelings. It was snatched from my grasp just because of my regrettable past. And now, I have lost all hope, for I am forever to be sickened and saddened by the memory of the young girl - no, woman's face. You feel so sorry for other couples who have killed themselves for love - at least they have comfort in the afterlife. Me, I am banned to eternally live, tortured by the woman's fond memory. This pain is the worst of any that anyone can feel.
But why do you pity me? Do you not remember? I am the villain, and I deserve no compassion.
END
I float drearily in the Sacred Realm, knowing it has only been a day since I have returned. However, for some reason, I feel like it has been far too long. I still reminisce of my time with her, and I can envision her perfect smile and her wonderful eyes. Those eyes, blue like the night sky, yet kind at the same time. I have never seen something like that, both dark and kind.
I suppose it is a metaphor for my life, a sad attempt to change made by an unchangeable soul. But tell me, are they right? Am I such a horrid, evil monster still? All I know is that it does not matter now, for I am once again lost.
Wasn't that what she had called me? A lost little boy? Then again, boys are innocent, and I am not so. And of all the things I have learned from the time I spent in my lovely world (which was far too short), the most important is that lost little boys should never reach for a way out. For that thing that looks like a light is nothing but a fantasy gone wrong.
I am a miserable wretch, doomed to never be loved and, more importantly, to never be forgiven. How can they be so cold? Even the smallest creature deserves some solace once in a while. But then again, maybe not. For I am the smallest creature. I am the one who has been banished here despite my desperate attempts to escape this inevitable prison.
Like the plague, it sickens me with a sorrow unlike any that anyone has ever experienced before. Each minute I grow more and more despairing, and I will never be comforted, for in this prison, even death is not an optional escape. I see that there is no escape from now on, and for that I am more sorrowful than most things make me.
It's not the emptiness, or the lack of things to do, or the fact that I am trapped for all eternity. It is the loneliness: The terrible loneliness that keeps dripping, like the blood of a wound, ever so slowly. I see that one cannot experience true loneliness until one has experienced love, and I wish that I had never put her in the danger that I put myself in.
For I would not be lonely if I knew she was alive. I'd be happy if she was safe and sound, in the arms of her poor mother and father, who are probably now almost as lonely as I am. But at least they have each other.
If you want the happy ending to my story, it is this: I, the evil villain, have finally found love, and although she died, her memory will live on, and I will love her forever more.
If you want the true ending to my story, it is this: I, a soul desperate for comfort, found it only briefly, too brief to admit my feelings. It was snatched from my grasp just because of my regrettable past. And now, I have lost all hope, for I am forever to be sickened and saddened by the memory of the young girl - no, woman's face. You feel so sorry for other couples who have killed themselves for love - at least they have comfort in the afterlife. Me, I am banned to eternally live, tortured by the woman's fond memory. This pain is the worst of any that anyone can feel.
But why do you pity me? Do you not remember? I am the villain, and I deserve no compassion.
END