"So Harry, how did that flight suit work out for you?" asked Tony when they returned.
"Only you would find a legend about the Ouroboros and then make a flight suit out of it," said Harry amused.
It had taken Harry some time to recognize where he had seen that winged snake biting it's tail before, but once he had it had amused him greatly.
"So about Banner..."
"If you're that desperate to get him to visit you, you can convince him yourself. However, from what I've seen he does tend to look better on people who aren't afraid of Mr. I-need-anger-management-classes," said Harry dryly.
Tony snorted.
"At least he'll be better than dealing with Stars-and-Stripes. I swear Coulson has a crush on the guy with the way his eyes light up around him," said Tony, waving him off.
"He has the entire card set from his days on the stage," said Harry.
"I knew it!" said Tony triumphantly.
"Shall I hit the Captain with my favorite virus?" asked Harry grinning evilly.
Tony was snickering evilly.
"I dare you to make him watch that 'two girls one cup' video!" he begged.
"Consider it done," said Harry smirking.
Tony was howling when an hour later Steve Rogers started running for the nearest bathroom. Apparently he had seen the video and there wasn't a trash can nearby.
"What did you do?" asked Bruce.
"Not me. Harry. I had him show Rogers that 'two girls one cup' video since he was getting on my nerves while I waited for them to pick you up," said Tony snickering.
Bruce's eyes widened before he winced.
"Remind me not to piss off Harry."
"Nah, you're one of those people who are too nice to feel his bite, unless you do something really, really stupid."
"So he's never..."
"He's bitten me a few times with those fangs of his, but I can roll with the punches," said Tony, "He once hit me with this hex that turned all the alcohol within reach to water before he made it look like I had too much as a distraction."
"Why?"
"Because according to him, one midlife crisis was not an excuse for me to ruin all the work he had put into restoring my reputation," answered Tony dryly.
The door opened, revealing Harry and Natasha.
"Look alive Stark, Loki's been spotted in Germany," said Natasha.
"I'll help Dr. Banner with his calculations while Tony goes to retrieve the spoiled brat," said Harry.
Tony and Natasha choked back a laugh.
"Loki's a spoiled brat?" asked Bruce.
"That's right, you haven't been around him long enough to hear the truth. Harry's actually Loki in human form. Apparently Loki did something to really piss off Odin so he was turned into a human as punishment," said Tony.
"And he's not in a prison why?" asked Bruce. Fury didn't seem like someone who would let a source of information go like that.
"Because he's Harry right now. From what little we've heard of Loki, he's more interested in ruling Asgard and thinks humans are beneath him. Harry here is a known advocate for the rights of humans with powers and has even defended mutants without asking for anything in return. Plus he was given the chance to return to Asgard when Thor showed up, but he decided to stay here instead," said Tony.
"I prefer Earth because it's more fun. Do you have any idea how boring it is on Asgard? Everyone there is a fight-happy nut and believe that humans are lower beings because they're still evolving. I would rather watch humanity evolve than be around the immortal bores that make up the majority of Asgard," said Harry with a shrug.
Bruce blinked.
"You had a chance to return to Asgard and said no?"
"Sometime during the trial against magical Britain, Odin showed up and unlocked the normal powers being an Asgardian gives you. He also broke off part of the seal on Loki's memories. Apparently he believed that 'Loki' had finally earned his spot back in the so-called Realm of the Gods. However what he didn't count on was the fact that after seeing Loki's memories, I wanted no more part of Asgard."
"Why?"
"Loki was lied to his entire life. The entire reason he ruined Thor's ascension to King was because he believed Odin was his father and that he had an equal right to rule. Finding out that Odin wasn't his father, but in fact the one who rescued him from being abandoned as a child was a devastating blow to his psyche. He did have one thing right though... Thor is no where near ready to rule Asgard, despite all his strength. Though if I were Loki I would have used a different method than bringing Frost Giants to Asgard during the ceremony..." said Harry.
While Stark left to get his suit on, Natasha and Steve left to Germany.
"So...why are you a lawyer?"
"Something Magneto said during that Mutant Registration Act when Kelly was still a senator. He asked me if I had given an interest in being a lawyer since he figured out I was behind Jean's little speech. After thinking about it, I realized the potential amusement of becoming one and that's how I got started. Then I realized I was gathering a massive following from the people I helped and that added to my fun."
"Wait...didn't I once hear you're a follower of Loki?" asked Bruce. It had been in his biography that he had looked up.
"Was, right up until the moment I found out I am Loki. Still, I find it hilarious that through my actions Loki now has a bigger following these days than Thor. Especially in the magical communities," said Harry with mirth.
In England in particular, nearly everyone who studied magic was a follower of Loki, or whatever their primary religion was. Fred and George found themselves with a massive business, since they were Loki worshipers before he became popular again. They recently started setting up shops in America to supply the demand for Loki's "tributes", since Loki was also a trickster god.
Playing a prank in Loki's honor was much more socially acceptable to the people than some of the other demands 'pagan' gods asked of their followers, and even the die-hard Christians and Catholics found it hard to denounce a religion based on harmless pranks and helping others.
Of course that didn't stop Petunia and Vernon Dursley, who had to leave Surrey after people started questioning the 'tales' they gave out about Harry in his younger years.
It was hard to equate the well-spoken and highly favored barrister who brought an entire community out of the dark ages to the hoodlum they had called Harry growing up. People started asking how they could lie about him so horribly, and it wasn't long before their 'perfect' reputation was shattered.
The last Harry heard of them, Petunia was in the nut house and Vernon was in jail after they found out he was embezzling from his company. Dudley was in the worst prison imaginable after they found out that his parents had been using Harry as a cover for his own crimes, some rather sickening.
The most telling of them being the dead and mutilated bodies of some of Mrs. Figg's cats...she had been devastated.
"So if you're a lawyer how are you able to keep up with my calculations so easily?"
"Before I passed the bar exam I interned with Jane Foster. Half the reason why I live in New Mexico is so I can help with her theories."
"And the other half?"
"To see the look on her face when she realizes that yes, I've trapped her computers again."
"Trapped her..."
"You remember the comment about Coulson nearly getting shot because he brought back a virus that shows the most depraved porn on the internet? That's my work. I trapped Jane's equipment when the fool confiscated them, and by the time he learned about the virus he had already infected S.H.I.E.L.D.'s computers with the thing. I knew he was coming to take her work so I made him pay for it in spades," said Harry with an evil chuckle.
"That...is evil. Any chance I could convince you to hit General Ross with it?" asked Bruce hopefully.
"Is this the same general who keeps trying to track you down and turn you into a lab rat because of the experiment?" asked Harry. He had read up on Dr. Banner on the way to pick him up, and S.H.I.E.L.D. had quite the thorough background check on him.
"Yes. Maybe he'll leave me be if he's too busy dealing with a computer virus," said Bruce tiredly.
"Then I would be happy to help. Ruining someone's day is one of the bigger reasons why I love Earth. Planting a computer virus isn't much fun when your target is smart enough to delete it," said Harry with an evil laugh.
Plus it would be damn near impossible to hit Asgard with his favorite prank, since they didn't know what the internet was, having long since passed that stage before Loki was even born. And he couldn't get a signal from Earth to use in Asgard either.
(One of the major reasons he even stayed on Earth was the internet...he was an addict and didn't care.)
Tony was watching Loki like a hawk, trying to see whether he resembled one of his best friends at all.
While the mannerisms were familiar, there was something lacking in Loki.
"What is it that you find so fascinating about me?" asked Loki to Tony.
Rogers had noticed Tony staring at Loki as well but couldn't figure out why. Thor seemed to have an idea though.
"You'll find out soon enough. Not like I'll ruin his surprise," said Tony finally. He decided to take a nap after being called out for staring at the 'god'.
Natasha decided to throw in her two cents.
"By the way Thor, Loki's got a bigger following than you do now," she said.
Thor blinked, then laughed openly.
"Not surprising since he has been rather active on Earth and I've still trying to understand you humans," he said.
Tony's half asleep gaze landed on Loki's bewildered face and he had to hold back a laugh. Oh he hoped Harry would let him record Loki's reaction to meeting him!
"Is there something Fury didn't tell me about Loki?" asked Rogers.
"You'll find out once he has a chance to go at him. I don't envy Loki one bit once Viper finally has a chance to go at him."
"Viper...isn't that the name of the agent who helped you retrieve Dr. Banner?"
"Viper isn't affiliated with S.H.I.E.L.D., he's only here as a courtesy to us. He said, and I'm quoting him on this, 'I'm not stupid enough to dance to Fury's fife just because he's a paranoid son of a bitch'," said Natasha with mirth.
Tony was snorting with laughter now.
"So have you guys figured out how to get rid of his virus yet?" smirked Tony.
"Clint and I have a permanent vaccine from it, mostly because Viper actually likes us and Clint tends to join him in pranks. Fury almost shot Coulson when he found out why the mainframe was bugged," said Natasha.
"Jane has spoken vehemently about this 'virus'. She said that she would learn how to use a gun if only to shoot Viper for it," said Thor with fondness.
"Sounds like a human I might actually like," said Loki.
He was really confused when Thor, Natasha and Tony failed to hold back a laugh at the comment.
Harry was in the cafeteria getting more coffee when Loki was brought in and passed by the lab. Natasha passed by him and smirked.
"You were right. Loki is a spoiled brat. You do realize that half of the carrier is going to be watching his reaction to when he finds out who you are," she said.
"And I'm betting Tony will be recording it for later viewing," said Harry dryly.
"That would be my guess," she agreed.
"In that case, we might as well make a show of it. Do you mind if I take your form and really surprise the brat?" asked Harry smirking. After seeing Loki face-to-face, Natasha could see the god in Harry now.
"Go for it, but please, make sure you bring a camera in addition to that pin of yours. I want front row seats to his expression," said Natasha.
Harry went two feet within Loki's staff, and the thing reacted to him.
He hadn't realized that the thing would notice him.
"Damn. Natasha, let me know when you're planning to 'interrogate' Loki will you?" asked Harry.
"Will do. I take it you're going to have a nap?"
"I would switch off with Bruce or Tony, but with that thing reacting to me..."
"Why don't we just move it then?" asked Tony. He was exhausted and so was Bruce.
Natasha waited until Harry was away from the room and in another corridor before she picked up the staff and moved it to another location. Harry came in and switched off with Tony so he could get some sleep in, and a few hours later Tony swapped with Bruce. Harry had about three hours of sleep before Natasha woke him up to take her place.