I managed to find some time to upload a new chapter! It's the only time I'll have until Tuesday unfortunately. So here's a nice little chapter for you, I hope you like it :) I also created a cover photo, I hope you guys can see it? It's been a long time since I put my editing skills to the test, so it's not great but it's a start! I can't thank you enough for all of the support, I genuinely appreciate every follow, favourite and review. Many thanks, as always. Jade x

CHAPTER 10

Cate found herself in a vast desert, as always, with an eerie red hue and an intense heat. Was this her hell? The one she was forced to live in every time she closed her eyes? "Why weren't you there for me?" She heard her brother's voice sob from behind her. It had been so long, she could barely remember what he sounded like. But clearly it was imprinted in her subconscious. Cate turned around and her gaze fell to the floor, where her brother was kneeling, bloody hands held against his chest. Cate choked on a sob and dropped to her knees in front of him. "I'm dying, Cate. You could've saved me" he choked, blood spilling from his mouth. Cate cried and reached out towards him with shaky hands. "YOU KILLED ME!"

Cate woke up with a gasp, her alarm slowly becoming louder and louder as the ringing in her ears subdued. Her dreams were getting too intense now. Cate reached out for her alarm clock and switched it off before rolling onto her other side, where she brought her hands up to her face and cried. It was an awful cry, one full of all the sadness in the world. She hadn't physically killed her brother; he'd died before she had even had her first tour. But she often blamed herself. Perhaps if she'd joined the army sooner, she could have been out there with him, she could've prevented him from dying. She'd been told that there would have been nothing anyone could have done, that his injuries were too severe, but she still denied it, wondering if perhaps things would have been different if she'd been there. "Stop it!" she hissed at herself in frustration, sitting up and wiping her hands over her face, ridding her skin of the tears that had fallen from her eyes. She'd gone from not crying in months, to crying twice in less than 12 hours. She flung herself out of bed and got ready for the day ahead.

Between eating her toast and drinking her coffee, Cate decided to check her phone as curiosity got the better of her. Nothing. Then again, she had told him she was ignoring him and she'd said her passive-aggressive goodnight. She sighed and popped the device into her bag. Within minutes she'd finished and she collected her keys and backpack before leaving the house. It was another typical sunny day in Charming but she noticed very little of it… she felt numb and she felt sad. She knew she must've looked worse than usual, because when she arrived at work, Lisa approached her with a concerned expression and asked if she was OK, to which she nodded and flashed her a tiny, forced smile. "I'm fine" she'd lied.

Her day had been uneventful, again. She hated it, she wished it would be busy so she could at least keep busy and be distracted. She sat at the nurses' station, elbow propped on the desk, chin in hand, as she looked down at some patient files. She had finished her documentation, but she sat there and stared at the paper, tapping her pen against the surface absentmindedly. She found herself slipping deep into thought, the hustle and bustle of the emergency department became background noise.

"Tag you're it!" A younger Cate giggled, slapping her brother on the arm before turning on her heel, running away from the older boy. He laughed and chased after her, arms outstretched towards her as she squealed in fear of being caught.

"I'm gonna get ya!" he yelled, making Cate laugh and squeal even louder as her little legs ran as fast as they could around twists and bends in the garden. She looked over her shoulder and then tripped over something, landing on her side awkwardly. Cate whimpered as she pushed herself up, looking down at the red grazes on the palms of her hands. She saw her brother crouch down beside her, a concerned expression on his face. He took her palms in his hands and looked at them, before looking at her with a smile. "You're fine, Cate. Just a couple of grazes, no big deal."

"It hurts, Michael" she whined, pouting her lips as she stared up at her big brother.

"I know it does, but you gotta be brave remember. Like me!" he had smiled at her and reached forward, ruffling her hair with his hand which she batted away with her hand, laughing the entire time.

"Doctor Phillips?" An unfamiliar voice echoed. Michael still smiled at her.

"Doctor Phillips?" It repeated and she snapped out of her daze, blinking a few times before turning her head towards the voice and sitting up straight in her seat. There stood one of the newer nurses, a sheepish smile on her face.

"I'm sorry. I was daydreaming." Cate explained with an awkward laugh, reaching up to sweep her fringe out of her face. She cleared her throat and pushed aside her sadness from the memory she'd found herself remembering. "Is everything okay?" she looked around at the department, hoping she hadn't been ignoring anything important.

"It's ok.." she began and Cate looked back towards her. "Everything's fine, I just have a patient who's come in with a nasty cut on his arm and I was wondering if you'd take a look at it? I've got to cast a broken leg." She explained with a smile.

"No problem. Where is he?" Cate asked whilst closing up the patient file she'd been leaning over, tucking it into the cabinet before rising to her feet.

"He's in examination room 2." The nurse answered and Cate nodded her head in thanks. She made her way over to the room, straightening out her scrub top before tapping on the door gently and making her way in.

"I'm Doctor Phillips, I'll be taking a look at your arm.." she started whilst closing the door, she'd not even turned around yet. But when she did, she felt her breath catch in her throat. There on the examination chair sat Juice, looking up at her with big, puppy dog brown eyes.

"Hey doc" he greeted quietly. Cate felt her heart thudding away in her chest, to the point where she could feel the pulse in her neck thudding gently against her collar. She glanced down at his arm, where he did have quite a big cut on his bicep just above his elbow. Cate cleared her throat and turned her back to him, rooting through the drawers to gather the bits she'd need.

"So what happened?" She asked, not even bothering to return his hello. She'd treat him like a patient, since that was what he was. However, her usual patients wouldn't have stood her up and given her a reason to be angry at them. It was quiet for a moment, but she heard him sigh as she dug through the draw, collecting various items such as swabs, cleaning alcohol and sutures.

"I uh.. I caught it on a car.. A car that I was working on." He stumbled and Cate felt her eyebrow rise. It sounded as if he'd forgotten how he did it, or was making it up as he went along.

"Let me take a look" she said, finally turning around to face him, but she made sure to avoid looking at his face. She sat down on a chair and wheeled herself over to where he sat, her eyes fixed on his arm and his arm only. It was quiet again and Cate just focused on the task at hand. The cut was quite straight; she felt it was almost too straight for something that had apparently been caught on a car. Cuts like that were usually jagged, deep and messy. This was neither of those things, although it was deep enough to need some form of intervention. Cate popped on her blue gloves, grabbed some gauze and the alcohol, before reaching for his arm. She didn't even warn him for the sting like she would with all of her other patients. Juice hissed and flinched, his muscles tensing beneath her touch as she rubbed the cleaning alcohol over his wound so that she could clean it and get a good look at what she was dealing with. Cate had to force herself not to smirk, and she did this by biting on her tongue – causing herself some pain so that she was distracted from smirking or laughing.

"Shit, doc" he sounded like he was speaking through gritted teeth, but Cate still hadn't looked up at his face yet, so she didn't know for sure. Cate gave it a final rub before tossing the bloody gauze into the infectious waste bin. Now that she'd cleaned and disinfected it, she could have a proper look at it. "How are you?" she heard him ask and she glanced up at him then, but only briefly. He looked sad and was trying to give her a smile, but she looked back down at his arm, ignoring his gesture, face blank.

"I don't think you'll need stitches. It's pretty straight so I'll glue it." she informed him whilst ignoring his question of how she was. Cate wheeled herself over to the counter where she rummaged through her bits and pieces, looking for the glue.

"Cate.. Come on, I'm really sorry." Juice spoke from behind her and she closed her eyes for a moment, clenching her teeth together. She had to give it to him, he was persistent and he sounded sincere. But right now she couldn't tell whether she should be flattered or really, really annoyed. She almost wished she could suture his arm, so that she could make him feel uncomfortable and hurt him, but only a little bit of course. She smirked at the thought. Cate cleared her throat, straightened her face and grabbed the glue where she then turned back around to face him and wheeled herself over.

"You'll need to keep still so that it sets right." She told him and she could've sworn she heard him sigh in frustration. She knew she was being stubborn by not conversing with him, but she felt as though he deserved it. Cate straightened his arm and then proceeded with the treatment, leaning in close as she watched where the glue was placed. She was close to him, and her heart fluttered at the proximity. She could feel him staring at her, but she refused to look up. Cate held the cut together and waited for the glue to dry, she blew on it gently to encourage the drying process and watched as goosebumps raised on his skin. She pulled back then and sat up straight, wheeling herself to the desk. "You'll have to keep that dry. I'm gonna pop some steri-strips over it too just to be safe." She told him and rose to her feet, grabbing the strips and then heading over to him. She popped three of the strips on and gently patted the area to make sure they were stuck. As Cate went to move, she felt Juice wrap his hand around her wrist gently.

"Cate, please" his voice was firm, he sounded desperate. Cate swallowed hard and moved her gaze to settle on his face. His brow was furrowed and he looked sad.

"What do you want me to say, Juice?" she asked quietly, stood in front of him, aware that his hand was still wrapped around her wrist. "I waited for you for over an hour and you didn't show. I wasted my time waiting for you." she told him, gently tugging her wrist out of his grasp so that she could cross her arms.

"I know.. And I'm really sorry, Cate. Clay called a meet and I didn't have time to get hold of you. We have to put our phones in this stupid bowl and it was all a big rush and I felt so bad, I could see the time and I knew I was late but I couldn't do anything about it. I called you as soon as I was out." He said quickly, stumbling over his words, sitting forward on his seat as he looked up at her. Cate sighed then and slumped her shoulders, trying to relieve some of the pressure building up within the muscles there. It was exactly the same as what Gemma had warned her about last night, about how these meeting were often last minute, and he probably wanted to call but couldn't.

"You pissed me off, Juice" she began, her voice firm. She didn't want to appear upset in front of him. "I don't usually make time for people, but I made it for you and look at what happened." She explained quietly.

"I promise it won't happen again.. I swear it." he pleaded and Cate chewed on her lip as she watched him, suddenly feeling a little bit guilty. Her emotions were all over the shop recently, and she knew it would only get worse in the weeks that followed. It concerned her to no end.

"Fine." She told him after some deliberation., finally letting up and deciding to ease off on him a little bit. His face lit up then, and she watched as he smiled, quickly getting to his feet.

"Really?" he checked, clearly not believing his luck and she wasn't surprised.

"Yes" she confirmed, peeling her gloves off and tossing them into the bin before looking back at him. "If it happens again, I won't be so forgiving, Juice." She warned him and he nodded his head, she noticed him gulp too.

"I promise it won't.." Juice responded eagerly. Cate gave him a small smile before nodding towards the door, which he followed her to. "What made you change your mind?" She heard him ask and she let out a short laugh as she shook her head.

"Anybody who cuts themselves on purpose just to see the person who's ignoring their calls deserves a chance to redeem themselves.. In my opinion." She told him and she watched as he tensed and shook his head, a barely noticeable blush rising to his cheeks. She was only joking with him, winding him up by implying that the injury had been staged so that she could see her. But Cate could only suspect, she didn't know the truth, all she knew was what he'd told her, and what she was looking at on his arm.

"Wait, what? No.. I didn't.. That's not what happened. I.. it was the car, remember?" he stammered and Cate grinned at him and his sudden panic, clearly not realising she'd been joking.

"Whatever you say, Juice. Now go.. I have work to do with people who are really hurt." She guided him out of the examination room. He stopped once they were outside and he turned to face her.

"Tonight? Let me make it up to you. I'll be here, I swear it." He suggested and Cate pondered it for a moment. On one hand, she was worried it would all happen again and she'd be back to where she started this morning. However, she wanted to give him that second chance, hoped he'd keep his word. Cate slowly nodded her head and Juice smiled.

"Ok.. Just don't let me down again." Cate finished before turning around and leaving him stood there.

"I won't, Cate" she barely heard him reply as she made for the staff room, needing to calm herself down after that surprise interaction. Since when did her life become so dramatic?