Chapter X: Moonlit Dinner
Raven stood simmering in the dark. Beast Boy was ten minutes late. She had already circled around the small park once. She didn't want to stay in one spot too long since she really had no idea when her position would be revealed to Starfire.
She was overly tense since Starfire and Terra's attack jumping at every little shadow. Her nerves were so frayed at this point she couldn't concentrate well enough to get a feel for her pursuer let alone help Beast Boy track down Cyborg. Being chased was something she began to loath.
Beast Boy was going to get a good throttling when she found him. Why the hell had she been paired with this pain in the ass anyway? No contest was worth this level of discomfort.
Raven gasped as a green hand pressed against her mouth. Beast Boy came around then gently removed it when he felt confident she knew it was him. Her partner's glaring eyes told him he'd have to tread lightly for a few moments.
W-H-E-R-E he signed to her holding up his communicator.
Raven paused for a second as her simmering mind processed the information her partner was conferring to her. She fumbled around until she found her communicator then held it up unsure what she was supposed to do with it. Beast Boy put his away then took his partner's and gently placed it behind a nearby tree.
C-O-M-E he signed to her then took a couple of steps before looking back. Raven folded her arms across her chest. Beast Boy waved trying to get her to follow him. After a brief protest she took a deep breath and relented following her partner to a nearby section of the park.
Beast Boy led Raven to a secluded picnic table. The moon cast faint shadows as crickets chirped. Beast Boy scooted down one side of the table and stood waiting for Raven to sit. Raven paused for a second then decided she'd better take her seat though she kept her arms folded across her chest in distain.
"What is this?" she asked in an agitated voice once she was comfortable.
"Dinner," Beast Boy replied as he sat down and quickly pulled out a couple of cartons of food from a plastic bag that was sitting on the table. "We've got about twenty minutes before your communicator goes off again."
"I can't eat Chinese food. The MSG gives me migraines," Raven protested.
"There's no MSG in this. I made sure I went to a place that didn't use that stuff," Beast Boy quickly countered. He opened both cartons allowing his partner to see their still steaming contents. "There's also no meat in either of these. Do you want the rice or noodle thingy?"
Raven sighed. She was starving now that she thought about it. She reached over and took the carton containing the rice and vegetables. "I'll take the rice; the noodles will go straight to my hips."
Beast Boy smiled at his partner's unusual comment. He kept quiet knowing Raven was in no mood for a snide remark. Fumbling through the bag he pulled out a pair of cellophane-wrapped chopsticks. "Know how to use these things?"
"No"
"Well I guess we won't be needing these then will we," Beast Boy said. He casually threw them back in the bag and pulled out a large spoon and fork. "You use the spoon and I'll take the fork."
Raven reached for the fork but Beast Boy quickly pulled it away from her. "Nice try." She relented then took the spoon and eagerly started shoveling her carton's contents into her mouth. Beast Boy reached back in to the bag and pulled out two bottles. "Do you want the cherry surge or water?"
Raven looked up and considered her options; an overly sweet power drink or dull water. With a sigh she reached out and took the water, twisted off the cap and took a quick swig.
Beast Boy claimed the remaining drink and twisted off the top and took a deep chug before he started to eat. "Sorry but I wasn't sure what to get you to drink so I just grabbed water. What would you have liked?"
Raven finished what she was chewing then looked up as she considered an answer. "Grape," she reluctantly replied. She really didn't like sharing her preferences with other people. That way no one would ever do her any special favors; she despised favors.
"Grape soda?" Beast Boy replied curiously. "I don't think I've ever heard you say that you liked grape soda in how many years since we've lived in the Tower?"
Raven halted eating briefly. She would have preferred a quiet dinner with her partner; he was beginning to ask too many questions. "No one ever asked me and we've been in the Tower five years," she answered dully. And a long five years it had been, at least in her opinion.
Beast Boy shook his head. She had kept silent for five years on her preferences. A sudden feeling of sadness overcame him when he thought about that. Raven did many things for the group but he always felt she short-changed herself.
"How's dinner?" he asked.
Raven again halted as she tried to finish chewing before she answered. "Its fine," she curtly replied then shoved another spoonful into her mouth.
"You sure?" Beast Boy replied genuinely interested in his partner's answer.
Raven looked up again pausing to finish chewing. "To be honest with you I'm so hungry right now an old shoe would taste good."
"You want some of mine?" Beast Boy offered.
Raven looked down into her now almost empty carton. "I guess I was hungrier than I thought," she sheepishly countered. So much for dainty eating she thought to herself too embarrassed to answer Beast Boy's question.
Beast Boy leaned over and dumped some of the contents of his carton into Raven's then sat back down on his side of the table. "That's ok, I'm not that hungry. Try and relax a bit. Anyone would be frayed after what Starfire and Terra did to you."
Raven looked up at Beast Boy's unexpected reply. "How do you know?" she asked in minor irritation as she attempted to get the noodles to settle on her spoon before she shoved them into her mouth. Beast Boy was getting just a bit too sweet for her tastes.
"I was there," Beast Boy quickly countered. "Who do you think distracted Terra and let you get away?"
Raven went over that furious moment in her mind; it was all such a blur. Slowly she remembered Terra trying to wave something away from her. It finally made sense. "That was you?"
Beast Boy smiled in triumph. "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. Yes, that was me!"
"Don't flatter yourself," Raven replied dryly. She shoveled another spoonful of dinner into her mouth and quickly chewed. It was actually pretty good. Her frayed nerves were settling and her mind began to relax. It was really nice of Beast Boy to get her something to eat. She looked up at her partner. "Thanks for dinner," Raven unexpectedly caught herself saying. What came out next surprised even her. "You know, this is the first dinner a guy ever bought me."
Beast Boy took another swig of his drink as he contemplated Raven's last statement. Holy crap he thought to himself. All this time in the Tower and none of the other guys had ever taken her out to dinner, not even once. A sudden feeling of guilt welled up within him. "You're kidding, right?" was all he could offer.
"No," Raven replied suddenly embarrassed by her admission.
Beast Boy looked into Raven's glistening eyes. In an instant he looked down unable to come up with any words of comfort. Raven's eyes could be so seductive sometimes.
Raven smiled lightly to herself as she looked at her partner. His body was surrounded by a glowing aura. All living creatures give off an aura. This was something Raven could occasionally see if her mind was clear and conditions were just right. Beast Boy's shimmered brightly in the soft moonlight. Blue for sadness and a hint of….PINK?!
Beast Boy sifted through the remains of his meal his mind suddenly swirling. Five years he had lived with the girl who sat across from him and this was the first time he had ever been able to have a civil meal and conversation with her. In the early days he had watched his silent partner from afar longing to be with her. She had rebuffed him at every turn. He tried to be nice, she ignored him. He tried to be helpful, she called him a pest. Tried to be funny, she left in a huff. If she had given any hint that she wanted his advances he would have been elated. But there had never been any hint of that. In the end all he had accomplished was a quiet standoff.
"What?"
Raven was suddenly jolted by her partner's sudden outburst. He sat across from her looking into her purple eyes with anticipation. "Huh?" she stammered.
"What is it? You're staring at me," Beast Boy asked curiously. "Is there something on my face?"
"Yea, a piece of chicken," Raven quickly said with a slight smirk.
Beast Boy reached up and began rubbing his face with the back of his hand. He paused then looked at his partner realizing that he had been had. His face suddenly pulled up into a broad smile. "I thought you said you didn't have a sense of humor."
"I never said that," Raven fiendishly replied. She shoved the last bit of food into her mouth and chewed it slowly. "But if you must know, I actually do have a sense of humor," she confidently continued. "It's just more advanced than yours." She leaned back and savored her put down.
Beast Boy frowned and shook his head in disbelief. His partner had thoroughly won that exchange. He planted his fork in the remains of his meal and leaned back with a sly smile. "Any other pieces of your personality you'd like to share with me tonight?"
"Nope," Raven replied as her eyes suddenly glossed over in coldness. Beast Boy watched as it happened yet again; any hint of emotion in Raven's eyes he had been able to establish was suddenly squashed like so many other times before.
The crickets filled the silence as Beast Boy finished what was in his carton and took a last swig from his bottle then replaced the cap. Raven continued to look at her partner's aura as it radiated brightly in the moonlight.
"You ok?" she asked.
"I'm fine. Just a bit down I guess."
"Why?"
Beast Boy paused unsure if he should communicate his true feelings towards his partner. He looked into Raven's dark eyes then held his breath and pushed reluctantly forward; no more "what ifs" he thought to himself.
"Just what you said about none of us ever taking you out to dinner," Beast Boy answered cautiously. After she showed no reaction he continued. "It's kind of sad. One of us should have done it sooner."
"Don't apologize, it's not that important," Raven said unconvincingly.
"No it is important," Beast Boy said mildly agitated. She had downplayed her emotions to the group too many times before; he wasn't about to let her do it again. Not after all she had done for him. "One of us should have done it earlier. Hell I should have!"
"Beast Boy," Raven tried to interrupt.
"No wonder you're so sad all of the time," Beast Boy continued over his partner's protest. Beast Boy suddenly halted under Raven's glaring stare.
"How would you know," Raven said in a whisper trying to disguise a sudden surge of anger. No one told her how she felt, even if it was true.
"It's in your voice; I've heard you sing," Beast Boy countered.
Raven froze jolted by her partner's statement. How did he know?
"I wasn't spying on you," Beast Boy quickly explained. He knew better than to trample on his partner's privacy. "I woke up one night. I have bad dreams every once in awhile. You know how some people have dreams they're falling?" Beast Boy paused until he saw that Raven understood. "Well sometimes I have dreams I'm drowning." There was another pause as Beast Boy forced himself forward. "That's how my parents died; they drown trying to save me when I was real little. Can't remember what happened exactly but it must come back to me in my dreams." Raven continued to stare at him remembering this revelation from their previous encounter with the necromancer. He continued when he saw his partner's eyes soften. "I know it wasn't my fault. I guess I just can't shake that guilty feeling. It was one night after that dream that I went outside to try and clear my head. That's when I heard you singing in the moonlight." Beast Boy's voice trailed off as he recalled Raven's clear voice rising solemnly above the midnight waves.
Raven sat unsure what to say. Singing was something she did only when she was absolutely sure she was alone. It was a form of therapy that she indulged in occasionally to keep her sanity and in the late hours of the night to keep her from falling asleep. She hated sleeping; too many dark visions filled her dreams.
"Don't worry. I haven't told anyone," Beast Boy continued. "And I won't. Some things aren't meant for sharing."
"Like?" Raven whispered hoping her partner held no other secrets of hers.
"Like what happened to my parents," Beast Boy choked momentarily before continuing. "You're the only one who knows; I haven't even told Terra." Beast Boy's eyes glistened in the moonlight his pink aura was now burning brilliantly all around him.
"Why are you telling me this?" Raven asked vacantly enraptured by her partner's now fluttering eyes.
"Because you're a good listener, a good friend, someone I can trust with the dark shadows of my past," he quietly confided to her. Beast Boy looked into his partner's violet eyes watching Raven's hair blow lightly across her face as he thought to himself, and because I love you and I always will, even if you'll never feel that emotion for me or anyone else on this planet.
"I'll always be in your debt Raven," he continued. "Without you I never would have been with Terra." In Beast Boy's mind he would forever be in Raven's debt for trekking across the desert with his girlfriend, helping restore her powers and then returning her to the Titans.
"You know what I think about that," Raven gently chided him. She had constantly told them that dating roommates was a mistake.
"Yes I know," Beast Boy replied. "But life's too precious not to take chances. I don't want to be an old man saying to myself what if I had only done that." Beast Boy paused to gather his thoughts then continued in a dead serious voice. "I don't know why my parents died but they sacrificed their lives for me. I owe it to them not to go through life accumulating too many what ifs."
Raven sat as her partner's words careened uncontrollably through her mind. He was the last person in the world she would have thought capable of making such a profound statement. Raven had always expected her life to be short, lonely and maligned. How many times had she wondered why her mother had even allowed her to be born knowing the pain and agony she would cause? It would only be in the later centuries of Raven's life after her twin sons' births, and after her true purpose was revealed that she would understand a mother's boundless love for her children (regardless of the consequences) and her true feelings for the man who sat across from her.
Decades from now she would contemplate those thoughts briefly with him under a similar star-filled sky. It would only be after Garfield's death that she would finally find the courage to admit her feelings towards him to his grieving widow. Terra could only laugh lightly at her friend's quiet reluctance. She had always known her friend's true feelings towards Garfield and offered these words of comfort. "I have no ill will towards you Raven; I have always known you had feelings for my husband. Truth is I will always be second to you; Garfield's first love. I have come to accept that." Terra paused as Raven looked into her old friend's tear-filled blue eyes as tufts of gray hair wafted across her smiling weathered face. "Do not despair my dearest friend," she continued, "Garfield's heart will always have enough room for both of us."
"I'm sorry," Garfield's voice recalled Raven from her thoughts. His aura was gone now, only his eye's glistened in the moonlight. "I'm blubbering. Let's go, I know you can't stand this mushy stuff." He quickly gathered up the remains of their dinner, shoved them in the plastic bag then stood up quickly and deposited it in the nearest trash can. Raven slowly followed him.
They walked silently towards the tree where they had hidden Raven's communicator earlier. Beast Boy reached back and picked it up then handed it back to his partner. Raven gently grasped it and looked into her partner's smiling face.
Beast Boy stood momentarily transfixed by his friend's dark beauty. He wondered if she would ever grasp the joy that she had given him as he watched her tuck the communicator away. She looked strangely shaken for some reason.
T-H-A-N-K-S he signed to her.
4-W-H-A-T she signed back.
A broad smile washed across Beast Boy's face. For everything he thought. He gave his partner a quick wink, morphed into an owl and took off into the night sky.
Raven watched as Beast Boy swooped out of sight without answering her question. She looked down as her mind focused on those two words Garfield had planted in her head. Gently they fell from her lips in the faint moonlight that filtered through the tree canopy. "…….what if?"