"We are going to Tirion." Elrond announced one day at breakfast. "I have been remiss not taking you there before now."
"And what if we have no wish to go there?" Elrohir was miserable and distracted by worry. His misery spilled out to encompass everyone around him and he could not be bothered reining it in.
"It is not negotiable Elrohir." Elrond gave him a stern look. "I think you may actually find you like it."
"Highly unlikely," he mumbled under his breath in reply.
"You are behaving like a child." Elladan said to him later, "sulking because you cannot do what you want. Are you not curious to see Tirion after we have heard about it all our youth?"
"You were the one who told me I must remain here in case Legolas returns." He snapped.
"I said you should not go roaming the wilds. Tirion is hardly the wilds. If he shows up someone can direct him to you I am sure."
Still he did not budge in his obstinate refusal to enjoy the visit. He did not want to go, he was unhappy and it was almost as if he wanted to remain that way. Doing something enjoyable in Legolas's absence felt like a betrayal.
Still, despite himself, on their arrival Tirion enchanted him. The white stone, the sand under his feet, the beauty of it all...it was almost too perfect yet it sung to his soul like nothing else and it was totally unexpected. His eyes were drawn to the buildings around him as he walked the streets through places he had only read about. And his thoughts drifted to others that had walked here over the ancestors had lived their lives here before they had chosen to depart. He was uplifted and he wondered,
Was this feeling of joy, of peace, what the sea was to Legolas? A part of it at least?
They had been there three days before he saw him.
A blond head in the crowd as he strolled with Elladan through the market. At first he thought he was seeing things. Legolas had been on his mind so much of late, it was simply that...an imagination. But as he followed the head as it weaved amongst the people in front of him he became more and more convinced and he increased his pace, leaving Elladan behind him as he forced his way through the crowds closer and closer until he could reach out and touch him.
"Legolas!" he cried and his heart was fill with a surge of joy for it was surely him.
Then Legolas spun to face him, shock and fear written all over his face. That confused him for what did he have to be afraid of? Why would he fear him?
"I have found you! Why are you here of all places?"
"Unhand me." Legolas demanded as he schooled his features into a scowl but he could still see that fear lurking around the edges of his eyes. Elrohir dropped his hand, startled at the reaction.
"I have been looking for you..." He said lamely, "We all have...your father-"
"My father knows where I am." Legolas's voice was cold and cutting, his eyes blocks of ice.
"I have been worried," he reached out once again, he just could not resist touching him to know he was real. "You did not tell us where you were."
"You are not my keeper." Legolas snapped, "Can I not come and go as I please? I inform my father of my whereabouts, but I do not need to tell you."
"I am your friend." he could not understand what was happening. He did not know what he had done to deserve this anger. Had he forgotten something due to his accident...suffered a memory loss so he was not aware of some wrong? But surely Elladan would have told him.
"Why do you not understand?" Legolas's face was anguished, "I do not want to be friends!"
That cut his heart like a knife. He did not want his friendship? What did that leave him? He felt he was drowning in a sea of confusion.
Legolas did not wait for a reply as he stood bemused with his heart bleeding,
"Leave me alone Elrohir!" he said bluntly and he shrugged off his hand and turned to make his way through the crowds leaving Elrohir standing there abandoned.
"What have I done?" He cried desperately after him, "Legolas, what have I done?"
Elladan came up beside him then.
"Where did you go? What were you doing? You took off and I could not keep up."
"I saw Legolas." he numbly.
"You mean you thought you saw him, why would he be here? You are imagining things brother."
"I did see him, I spoke with him." He indicated Legolas as he disappeared into the surging mass of people. He was close enough even Elladan could see it was definitely him.
"Did he say why he was here? How long?" he asked eagerly, "Is he well?"
"He said nothing...save he didn't want to see me...and that Thranduil has known he was here all along."
"Ah, I thought as much." Elladan murmured.
"Then why didn't you tell me?!" Sometimes he could not understand his brother.
"Because you would have charged back there like a bull at a gate and made everything worse!"
"Am I so untrustworthy that he could not tell me? I don't understand either of them!"
"Perhaps Legolas asked him not to...we can only guess."
"What have I done Elladan?" He asked, "That he treats me thus. I don't deserve this. Why does he behave this way?"
Then Elladan gave him a cool look.
"I have told you brother, that you needed to speak to him of your feelings and you chose not to. You can not judge him knowing what you know...that you love him, because Legolas doesn't know it...you have allowed him to think there is nothing between you. And now you are upset that he treats you as such? You have no right to be."
"I deserve better even as only a friend."
"Perhaps...but this is of your making. You either speak to him or you live with the consequences. What ever it is you are afraid of, can it be any worse than this?"
He was right, it couldn't be any worse, but he wasn't afraid... Elladan was wrong about that at least.
"He does not want me near him Elladan. He said that plainly. There is no point."
"Oh, and you are going to take that lying down? He is not worth fighting for then?"
"Of course he is! Of course I will fight for him but there is not point fighting if he does not want me."
Elladan simply rolled his eyes.
"You are a blind fool brother, there is no hope for you." was all he said as he turned and strolled away leaving him on his own.
He could not sleep that night. Thoughts of Legolas consumed him draining away all his newfound peace. Perhaps he should do as Elladan suggested, find him and speak with him honestly. He tossed thoughts around in his mind but could come to no decision. Legolas had asked him to stay away, had said he didn't wish to be friends, should he honour that?
In the end he got up. Sleep was not going to find him that evening. Instead he walked, he could not even say why or where he went or what it was that drove him there. Out of the city he went, down the long windy path and the myriad of stairs to the sea.
When he arrived there he was astonished, with himself as much as anything. Why had he come here? Just the sight of the moonlight glinting off the waves made his stomach churn. He didn't want to be here, he didn't want to be anywhere near here!
He was about to retreat when he spotted him, in amongst the waves, Legolas was swimming and he was caught, captivated by the sight. Was it Legolas who had drawn him down here? Beneath the moonlight he was glorious, the soft white light shone of him and Elrohir was entranced. His secret watching could not last however and his stomach fell when Legolas glanced up and saw him. He could see even from this distance the stiffening of his body and the frown upon his face. He was not pleased.
Still he stood firm and did not leave as Legolas emerged from the water, oh how majestic he was Elrohir thought as he towelled himself dry and dressed, all the time glaring at Elrohir from afar. When he had finished he approached him and Elrohir stood silently his heart in his mouth.
"Are you spying on me?" Legolas's harsh voice cut into his thoughts.
"No. I did not know you were here, believe me." He said quietly.
"And yet you are still here." Legolas tilted his head to one side and regarded him strangely.
"It would have been rude to leave when you had seen me."
"On the contrary, since you are not welcome it would have been most acceptable." Then Legolas turned to go.
"Wait!" He could not let him leave, and Elladan's words from earlier rung loudly in his ears. He had to say something. He grabbed at his arm forcing him to face him.
"At least tell me what I have done wrong. I do not know...have I forgotten something? My accident... I was unwell when I woke, for awhile. Is it because I did not follow when you left? Elladan would not let me!"
At the mention of the accident Legolas's face which had been set in stone softened, a wave of compassion sweeping across it and he reached out his hand to softly run fingers down the side of Elrohir's face where the worst of the bruising had been.
Those fingers felt like fire, a fire that twisted its way down into his belly and took his breath away.
"Are you well now?" Legolas voice whispered hesitantly in his ear.
"Yes." It was all he could do to reply for his voice had deserted him. The fire overtook him as it burned between them. Surely Legolas could feel it too, how could he not? Their eyes were locked together, he could not move let alone breathe and Elladan's voice sounded in his mind...tell him...tell him.
Legolas moved closer and he thought for a second those lips would bend to meet his. Oh how he wanted that, but Elladan was right, he must tell him.
"Legolas, I-"
"Legolas!" An urgent panicked voice cried out down the path behind them and Legolas's head whipped round. The spell was broken.
"Legolas," a breathless Elf was running towards them and Elrohir gazed at him. He was beautiful, obviously Sindar and worryingly familiar though he was certain he had never seen him. But oh he was magnificent, and his focus was all on Legolas.
"I did not know you were coming here, you eluded me."
He watched amazed as Legolas ducked his head, a picture of contrition.
"I felt like a swim, it was a spur of the moment thing."
The Sindar reached out and casually, gently tucked a strand of Legolas's loose wet hair behind his ear. It was a gesture of such intimacy and love and Elrohir's heart broke in two as he stood there his own love bleeding out onto the sands.
"I do not wish to have to fish you out of the sea once more. It would break my heart."
He watched in horror as Legolas smiled back, a smile that illuminated his face, the love was not one sided.
"That will not happen again. I have sworn it." He replied softly, so softly Elrohir hardly heard it.
He felt ignored, invisible and he did not like it.
"I am Elrohir." He said breaking into their moment and thrusting his hand towards the stranger. They had to notice him.
Was it his imagination or did he see a flash of concern upon that strangers face at the sound of his name? But when he looked again all he saw was an open, friendly face.
"Elrohir. I have heard much about you." And Elrohir wondered exactly what that was.
"This is unexpected-" he went on but Legolas interrupted, the scowl back on his face and the anger in his voice.
"We have finished talking. We have nothing more to say. I am pleased you are well Elrohir." And he turned roughly and strode away down the beach where he had left his boots on the sand.
The Sindar gave Elrohir a shrug as if to apologise and without a word turned and followed and Elrohir could only watch as he caught up to Legolas and threw his arm around him pulling him close. He watched too as Legolas dropped his head upon the others shoulder, the love and trust in the gesture was there to be seen and Elrohir saw it.
His heart was broken, he had waited too long, been too late. The fire he had felt just moments before had vanished as if it had never been. He was bereft.
But Legolas had found another.