Next chapter! I'm not happy with the last one, Atemu kinda flipped out and it was impossibly hard to write. I hope you weren't disappointed.
Much love!
Keep happy and reviewing.
Tears don't fall.
Atemu.
.....To hate?......
I never thought I'd see him again.
If I did I thought I'd be strong enough not to break.
Not to show him that something inside me was cracking.
But I've seen him again....and...well...the less said the better.
I did crack and the darkness bound in my soul started to leak through.
But my....Hikari...he stopped me.
Even when I didn't want him too.
I couldn't look at Yugi when Scott led him and the others out of the door. I pretended I didn't hear Yugi's whispered apology, spoken so sincerely and with so much emotion. The door slammed shut behind them and I just stood and stared at it. There was movement near me, someone calling my name but I didn't want to hear. I didn't want to raise my head and face the world just yet. Apparently, Kyle had different ideas
"Atemu. You ok?"
His hand inched toward my face and I jerked instinctively backward, emotions to close to the surface to control. Any hold I had on my fragile emotions was slipping.
"Get out." I growled
"N-No. Not until I know you're ok."
"Get out!"
"No!"
"Kyle, so help me if you don't get out, I'll do something I regret!"
"Oh, so it's threats now is it? Always resort to that if you don't get your way?" I hissed, feeling horribly like I'd been stung. There was an accusation and anger in my eyes, one I knew Kyle understood imeditaly. "I'm sorry, Atemu. That was low."
"Get. Out. Right. Now!"
"Atemu. I can't! I need to know you're all right and you won't do something stupid."
A frustrated scream bubbled to my mouth but I clamped my lips shut around it. But I could stop my clenching, shaking fists. The reaction I couldn't stop, even as Scott entered the room and stepped into my line of sight. Hus eyes screaming at me to keep control, not to let go. How easy promises are to break....even the innocent know this.
"Get out! Out! Leave me alone!" I screamed "You can't stay here! I don't want you! I don't need you!"
Kyle flinched backward, surprised and shocked. I looked up and saw Scott had retreated back a few steps. Didn't they understand that I could deal with them and my own splintering shield?
"Até? Why not? Why can't we stay?" Scott asked, his voice hushed, I could barely hear him.
"You just can't."
"You know that doesn't make sense."
"I don't care. Get out."
Frustration was clear in my voice, colouring it pulsing red and endless black. The colours of my soul. I wanted to make them see that I didn't want them. Scott stepped forward, palms facing toward me, slow steps. Like I was something dangerous.
"We don't want to leave. Not when you're hurting." He spoke like his logic was obvious. I supposed to anyone else it would have been. But I am something not from this world and I was cornered.
I jumped up, darting around my friends before they could react. Hands reached out, trying to snag onto clothes but somehow I evaded them. Hurtling down the stairs, I promised myself I couldn't hear them yelling after me. Promised myself that Yugi hadn't made me think of events passed. Pausing to breathe, I found myself in the kitchen. I almost didn't notice the piece of paper, stuck under the salt shaker. With shaky hands I freed it and sliding down into a chair, I brought the paper to my eyes.
Yami- Atemu.
I don't have the right to call you Yami anymore, after what I did to you. I'm not even sure if you'll read this. So I'll make it brief and pray it's still in your hands at this point.
For so long I've looked for you. Wished that somehow I'd find you again. And now that I have, I wished I'd come prepared. I don't know why I clamed up, got tongue tied and lost the words. There are so many I want to say to you. But I need to say them to your face, not write them down when there's a possibility you'll miss them.
You shut of the mind link, blocked that secret part of yourself out. I know why but I wish you hadn't. It feels like there's a part of me missing. It's selfish to tell you this but I must. I want you to open the link, talk to me, even start to forgive me.
Please, talk to me, like we used to when we were young.
Atemu, you're a beautiful man, I beg you return to me. Just let me believe you care, if only for a moment.
I can't live in memories any longer. Four years is too long. I'm rambling but you get the idea. Please, contact me.
I miss you.
Yugi.
Underneath was another message, handwriting bolder but it's point firmer but the tone the same.
Yami.
I'm not going to call you Atemu because that's not who you are. You are Yugi's Yami and he misses you. I know you miss him too, you're just to stubborn to admit it. I can't believe I'm going to admit this, but I miss you too. My eternal rival turned friend. We deserve to meet you again without you freaking out. Jou misses you, he's overrun by guilt, let him make the emotion go away. Let us be selfish. You cannot hold onto your anger forever, it'll destroy you. I believe you learnt this long ago.
Face your fears and take it like a man.
Seto Kiaba.
I threw the letter away from me in disgust. Who were they to make demands? It was too late to make amends. Too late to try to fix the broken pieces of time. Yugi knew, it was too late to re-forge the trust in them I had lost.
Was I making a fuss out of nothing?
.....I just don't know anymore.....
My head fell to my hands, a sigh of defeat leaving my lips.
....There was to much I don't know....too much going on in my head....
I just wanted release, if only for a moment.
But I know, until I can let go or Yugi does, thoughts will rattle around in my mind. But I don't know how to let go. It's harder than it sounds. Slowly, I lowered my arms, folding them against the table, resting my forehead against them.
I can't cry.
Tears, anger and fear are for those who have given up. I haven't given up, I'm just lost, somewhere in my own darkness.
I need....my light.....
But I will never ever allow myself to have him....
My fingers crept to the cross around my neck, presents from all those months ago and held it like a life raft. I couldn't let go.
Oh, my friends. I am so cruel to you. So dishonest. Unworthy of anything you have to offer me and yet you stand by me....why?
A hopeless whimper escaped my mouth. I was so tired. So tired and lost. My eyes, so heavy, like lead, dropped. I couldn't care. I feel asleep resting against the hard table top.
I almost didn't notice my eyes were filled with tears that I was still to stubborn to let fall.
China hitting wood woke me up what felt like seconds later. I moaned, pulling a blanket that hadn't been there before around my shoulders. I opened my eyes, rubbing a cink in my neck and straightened out. Scott studied me quietly over the rim of his mug.
"What's the time?" I mumbled sleepily
"It's late. Two in the morning." He replied
"Oh."
I stretched, trying not to notice the aches in my body. That's all I seem to do lately, run and ignore. I'm sick of it but I can't help it. Sheepishly, I stared up at Scott, remembering the words I had spoken in anger. Scott smiled slightly.
"You look like you've committed a murder." He commented " It's all right. I'm not mad at you. A little upset that you'd rather hide than talk but not angry. I'm not going to pretend that I understand what you're going through. But I know you. You let emotions fester and grow rotten. You shouldn't." He paused, looking like he didn't know what to say. I stood up, moving my chair closer to him, a sudden urge to be held had flooded my senses. Scott put an arm around my shoulders.
"I don't know what to do, Scott."
"I know you don't. But you know that you can't hide for them. Yugi told me something before he left. He said that they won't give up. And I believe them. They'll be back and stronger than before."
I laughed. " You make it sounds so ominous."
"As do you, my friend."
I sighed, closing my eyes and rubbing my fists against my temples. " I don't know what I want anymore. I thought I knew. Now I'm not so sure."
"I don't know what I can say to make it better."
"There isn't anything you can say."
"But I wish there was."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome." I yawned, rubbing bleary eyes "Go to bed. You'll have one hell of a stiff neck in the morning when you wake up if you sleep down here."
I rose, stumbling, smiling faintly when Scott reached out to steady me. I registered surprise when lucy grasped my other shoulder and with Scott guided me into our room. I flopped down onto the bed, fully clothed and retrieved a amused sigh and a tug on the covers I was sprawled on top of. I moved, curling up in one corner as the blanket was lifted and replaced as I struggled back under it. Somewhere along the line my shoes had been removed. A bodiless kiss was pressed to my forehead.
"Sleep you silly man." Lucy smiled
"Shouldn't...take....care of...me....I'm...an....adult."
"Yes. Yes you are. Act like one." Scott laughed
"Jerk."
"Goodnight."
I gave a mumble not even I could understand.
Tomorrow I face the day and whatever it brings.
.....Whoever it brings.....
.
.
.
Do I hate....or do I love you?
Tomorrow, I play my cards and I either win or lose the game.
Yugi....do you know what you do to me?
Short I know. I wanted to post something tonight. A longer and better chapter shall be posted A.S.A.P.
Sorry......
More comunication between Yugi and Atemu next chappie :)