Oh, my fudge! I was so focused on writing my other stories and being lazy that I forgot about this baby! (Well, not really; I just ran out of ideas and stuff for this.) I'm sorry! A million apologies!

Bleach isn't mine, and don'tcha forget it! *thumbs up*

I wish I hadn't came here, rang the thought of Yumichika Ayasegawa as he scoffed and crossed his arms.

Not long ago, Yumichika was ordered by Captain Kenpachi Zaraki to stake out on Karakura town for any suspicious behavior in the world of the living, and he complied with much eagerness (it was a good way to get away from Hinamori's sickening "goody-goody two shoe" aura and scope out the latest fashion clothing of the living, which was killing two birds with one stone, really). But now, as he stood among the environment of fashion-challenged freaks of nature, as he did when he first arrived here for his new mission, he was starting to suspect that maybe, just maybe, it was all a joke.

How could it not be? Standing among this sick excuse for a new trend was eating away at Yumichika's very instinct to shut his eyes and not have to bear through the grotesque sight of what he was currently standing in and had to live in for the next few weeks, but as per the training of the highest-skilled shinigami, he must remain alert and aware of his surroundings. That means keeping his eyes peeled on the world. Even at the killers of fashion themselves. Kenpachi knew this and knew that Yumichika knew this and would never tarnish his reputation as a high-ranking shinigami for the sole purpose of protecting his mind from such shame before it completely scars him for life, and he was just yanking Yumichika's chain because of that damn new prankster personality he developed-

Yumichika shook his head wildly before those thoughts gone too wild and transformed him into another paranoid conspiracy-follower. There's absolutely no way that Captain Zaraki would be so cruel that he'd torture his subordinates in such a way. Sure, he'd fight and kill anyone who can wield a sword without a moment's hesitation because of his insatiable need to fight and his not-so hidden fetish for sadism, but he wouldn't make his victims suffer in such a lowly way? ...Would he? He wouldn't really make his victims of his latest, torturous "pranks" do humiliating and mind-scarring things like go to Justin Bieber concerts without at least taking a shot at mortally wounding the kid or making them walk around with a tramp stamp bear and open for the public eye, right?

No, no, no! I knew that son of a bitch for a long time, and he wouldn't sink this low, Yumichika assured himself. Nope, not at all! Smiling to himself, Yumichika began the life-saving process of erasing the current illness that humans were calling "trends" with a series of hot clothing designs that he was going to have on the racks of clothing stores someday. Laying out a hot pink floral design for a line of kimonos, Yumichika walked absentmindedly into a passerby.

"D'oh, um, sorry," Yumichika muttered.

"Hey, watch where ya goin', why don'tcha?!" The passerby grumbled.

"I just said I- Hey, wait a second! Ikkaku, what the hell are you doing here?"

The passerby, who so happened to be Ikkaku Madarame, smirked. "Oh, well, looky here, I finally found the person I've been searching for! Where the hell have ya been, Ayasegawa? You need to increase your spiritual pressure so I can keep up with you."

"The hell? Why would you need to 'keep up' with me? And what the heck are you even doing here?!" Yumichika regarded his fellow squad member with an interrogative stare.

"...Hey, do you have some money, I'm tapped out and a bit hungry-"

"Dammit, Ikkaku, quit avoiding my question, you idiot!"

Ikkaku sighed and smirked again. "Man, you really don't know how to keep up a friendly conversation, do you? Anyway, I'm here under Captain Zaraki's orders."

When Ikkaku paused, Yumichika's eyebrow twitched with irritation. "...Which are?" he prompted through gritted teeth.

"To be sure that you're doing you're job right and staying on guard. Which, judging by the way you just bumped into me with this drooly dazed look in your eyes, you haven't."

"I-I have been doing my job, you twit!" Yumichika protested. "Besides, it's kind of hard to even know what you're looking out for when the specifics are withheld. I mean, all I know is to watch for strange phenomenon! What the hell kind of detail is that?!"

Ikkaku smiled goofily. "Wow, they seriously haven't told you yet?"

"Told me what?!"

"Well, I guess I now know why the captain told me to get this then," Ikkaku muttered to himself. Before Yumichika could ask what he meant, Ikkaku turned around and flipped up his shirt, snickering as Yumichika gasped and ranted dramatically. Running down both sides of his back were metal rings pierced through his flesh, and strung through those rings like shoelaces were silky lace. Where most of the idiotic humans who had these chose to have only one color lace, Ikkaku went for the multi-colored style and had the entire rainbow spectrum.

"Ew!" Yumichika cried and raised his arms up as if the sight was going to attack him. "You had a freaking corset piercing?!"

"Heck yeah, I did!" Ikkaku shouted excitedly. "Hurt like a bitch, too!"

Yumichika lowered his arms. "...Are they...still sensitive?"

"Like crazy. I mean, I got this bad boy like weeks ago and they still-OW! Owowowowowowow!" Ikkaku fell to the ground and arched his back after Yumichika slapped the rings pierced through his skin. Yumichika watched Ikkaku writhe on the sidewalk and chuckled darkly to himself before walking over Ikkaku and heading towards a spa.

Well, I guess those piercings aren't as bad as I thought! Yumichika thought as he passed people with the same piercing, not so bothered by them anymore.

Dudes, seriously, those corset piercings are awful! They look beyond gross and downright dangerous! I mean, make one bad move and...ouch!