Author's note – HI GUYS!
It has been A MINUTE.
So sorry for the long update – I don't like leaving updates for longer than a week and here we are at 2! I've been so busy with work time escaped me a little bit but I am back and ready to keep giving you some Angel and Ana!
I hope this chapter is to your liking, let's get started!
It had been a few days since Ana had spoken to Angel at the bar and she had been avoiding both him and Mark like the plague. She found herself fighting with her head vs her heart, and both had some pretty good arguments.
On the one hand, Ana has been with Mark for the better part of a decade, he was stable and loyal and she loved him greatly. But on the other, Angel had been in her life for much longer, and was just as loyal - perhaps even more so. He just wasn't necessarily as stable and the thought of committing to a man whose life was shrouded in danger terrified her.
But she couldn't ignore her feelings for Angel any longer, every time she thought about him she found herself reliving their kiss, the way he looks at her and the last conversation they had, where he laid it all out on the table for her. She'd never been met with such raw, brutal honesty and love before. It was overwhelming.
It was these thoughts and emotions that eventually made her realise what she was fighting for the last few months: her relationship with Mark had evolved into something devoid of romance, their spark just wasn't there anymore. What she was feeling for Angel was unlike anything she'd ever experienced before and she couldn't ignore it any longer.
Part of her started to wonder if perhaps she always did have some sort of idea as to Angel's feelings for her, but she just never let herself entertain them. While she was now ready to see what they could be, she still wasn't sure of what was ahead for them. Was she really ready to just jump from one relationship to another? And what if Angel and her didn't work out? How would it affect their friendship, and her friendship with EZ?
Ana was scared the risk was too big to jump full force into a relationship with Angel, but she also knew a life without him wasn't an option. He'd come to mean too much to her, and Ana now realised she didn't want Angel as just a friend any more than he wanted her as one.
But now came the hard part. Sitting at the kitchen table Sunday morning with a cup of coffee, Ana knew the minute Mark woke up he'd want to talk and try sort their issues out. Over the past few days she's made sure to stay at the bar as late as possible, so that by the time she gets home Mark is fast asleep. In the mornings she's been running out under the guise of having 'errands' to run. This mostly translates to Ana stopping by EZ's place and talking to Felipe before he heads out for work, or going to the gym and trying to work off some steam.
Avoiding Angel has been surprisingly easy, with the biker pretty much flying off the radar after their last conversation. Ana figured with how they left it, Angel was waiting for her to inform him of her decision and as guilty as she was already feeling for what she was about to do to Mark, she was also excited to finally be able to fully admit her feelings for Angel.
In a daze, it took Ana a moment to realise Mark had woken up and was now making his way downstairs. Entering the kitchen, he was clearly taken aback at seeing Ana as he stood still in the doorway, a timid expression on his face.
"…Good morning", Ana said softly as she stared at the man she'd shared her life with for almost a decade, unsure how one exactly ends a relationship, having never done so before. She was already finding herself choked up and she knew Mark would put up a fight.
Picking up on her mood instantly, Mark wasted no time in sitting down next to her. "Hi… I'm glad we're finally home at the same time," He said, placing a hand on her cheek and caressing it, his eyes soft and warm.
Leaning into his touch briefly, Ana pulled his hand down. "Mark… we- we need to talk," she stuttered out as she looked down at the table, trying to keep her composure but her lip was quivering.
Moving his hand away, Mark straightened up in his chair as he heard those words, sadly confident that the conversation set to follow them wasn't going to be a good one.
"What is it?" He said with a clenched jaw, staring straight at Ana as she tried avoiding his eyes.
Staying silent, Ana was prompted to speak up when Mark repeated himself, this time his voice louder and more assertive, his fear and irritation clear.
"I, um… I've been… well you know that I've been really struggling lately with…. Us," Ana began, looking up at Mark as the last word escaped her lips.
"With us? With the move sure… but I didn't realise there was something wrong with US," Mark said, not knowing where Ana was coming from or where she was going.
Tears starting to form in her eyes, Ana let go of her coffee and brought her hands to her forehead, trying to massage the headache that was currently forming away.
Taking a deep breath, Ana decided she just needed to rip the bandaid off. "Come on Mark, you know I haven't been all there lately, you can't tell me that everything has been picture perfect?"
"No, no you're right about that. But I never thought it was as bad as you're making it seem. Fuck Ana I just thought you were struggling with accepting the move I didn't think it was enough to make you push me away," he said in response, his tone softening now as he realised he needed to ease Ana's nerves before she did something they'd both regret.
Pulling away from him, Ana stood up and walked over to the kitchen counter to create some distance, her back leaning against it as she looked at him.
"You're not getting it Mark… I'm not happy anymore," she admitted softly as a tear fell down her right cheek. Her heart now racing, Ana simultaneously felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders while another had just come crashing down. The look on Mark's face was too much for her to bare.
Clearing his throat, Mark didn't know what to say. All he could do was continue to stare at Ana in shock.
After what felt like an eternity of silence he finally found the power to speak, but he had no idea what he would say until he said it.
"What'd I do?" He asked, not knowing where he had fucked up. He had always treated Ana like a queen, and everything he did was motivated by his desire to give her a better life, to get her out of this fucked up place and somewhere they could grow together.
"You didn't do anything Mark, I just… I still love you okay? So, so much. And I hate myself for this, for not being able to give you an exact date or time of when I started feeling this way okay but there are just so many things that have happened in the past few months with EZ coming out and I just, things are different. I'm different."
"And I can't keep pretending like I'm going to move with you, because I'm not. And I can't keep pretending that I'm happy with my job, because I want to do more and…"
"Okay so we won't move! We'll stay here okay, and, and you'll find a new job, you can start volunteering at the youth centre! And go back to school and I can keep climbing up at work and everything will be fine." Mark said, cutting Ana off in his excitement at thinking he found the solution to their problem, jumping up to stand in front of her.
Holding his hand in hers, Ana brought them up to her lips and rested her mouth on their intertwined hands.
"No… Mark… I don't want that… You see there's something…there's someone else," she finally admitted, bringing her brown eyes up to meet Mark's steely blue ones.
Seeing the realisation spread across his face, Ana prepared herself.
Stepping away from her, Mark continued walking backwards until he was standing at the edge of the kitchen entrance, leaning against a chair. Putting all the pieces together, Mark finally realised what it was Ana was trying so hard to avoid saying.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me!" He shouted, absolutely livid.
"FUCKING ANGEL! ANGEL?! THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ALL FUCKING ABOUT?!" He screamed at her, throwing the chair into the hallway.
Ana had never seen Mark this angry before, and she found herself absolutely terrified. Not only was she scared of what he'd do, she also found herself flashing back to the days of living with her drunk of a dad, who was known for lashing out physically when mad.
"Mark, p-please okay just,"
"JUST WHAT ANA? CALM DOWN? HOW CAN I CALM DOWN WHEN I HEAR THAT MY GIRLFRIEND IS SCREWING AROUND ON ME WITH SOME TRAILER PARK FUCKING TRASH BIKER," Mark said, his voice only seeming to get louder.
Remaining silent, Ana shrunk into the kitchen counter as she wrapped her arms around herself and avoided Mark's gaze.
"I cannot fucking believe this," he said, finally lowering his voice but the anger still clear.
"After everything I have fucking done for you Ana, you went and slept with that motherfucker."
"I didn't sleep with him," she said softly, more to herself than to Mark at this point who was seeing red.
Hearing her, Mark wasted no time in continuing his tirade.
"BUT YOU FUCKING WANT TO RIGHT ANA?! What, what you wanna become like every other fucking groupie that hangs around him. Or what you think he's gonna treat you different?" Mark asked, not understanding how in only a few months Ana's opinion on Angel could have changed so dramatically.
Finding her voice again, Ana decided she needed to defend herself. While she understood Mark's anger, she wasn't about to let him treat her like crap.
"I know you're angry Mark... you have every fucking right to be okay, I know. But, I'm done lying about how I feel," she began, stepping closer to him to try and close the gap and calm him down.
"Ever since EZ has been out okay, I've, it's like a part of me has been awakened again. You know for the last 7 years I have built my life around you and I have shut people out and kept a distance because it saved me from losing someone else like I lost EZ… but, but with him back I'm being pulled back into that world and it's, it's making me see things differently," she explained, hoping she was making sense, practically pleading with Mark to understand.
Moving backwards again, Mark couldn't believe it. With what Ana had said sinking in, he was realising he was essentially to blame. If he'd never organised EZ's deal and got him out, this never would have happened.
Before he knew what he was doing Mark found himself mumbling a number of expletives more to himself than Ana, cursing himself for his fuck-up. In the midst of his rant, he hadn't realised Ana had heard him say the words, "Should've never offered him that fucking deal."
Confused, Ana spoke up. "Mark… Mark what deal? What are you talking about?"
Turning around to look at Ana now, Mark's face contorted into an expression Ana hadn't ever seen before.
Fuck… I've done it now…. but, wait a minute. A thousand thoughts were running through Mark's mind now. He knew he was either going to have to come clean with Ana about EZ's deal and his part in it, or he was going to have to think of a very good lie.
But he also knew if he told Ana about EZ's deal, while she'd never forgive him, Ana would likely never allow herself to be with Angel. She'd never want to keep a secret of that magnitude from him. She'd either tell him and ruin his relationship with EZ, or she'd keep it a secret and stay away from him.
Right now, both of those options sounded pretty good to Mark.
Smirking, Mark told Ana about the whole deal in a matter of minutes. About how he'd been approached by Potter, the US attorney regarding a case against the Galindo cartel and the need for an inside man on the job and their link to the Mayans. Together, Potter and Mark agreed EZ would be the perfect informant and Mark was confident his relationship with Ana would be enough to get EZ to trust him.
"That's what got you the move up… the fucking deal… you used EZ, you put him in danger, for a fucking promotion?!" Ana finally snapped back, now livid herself at the revelation that her boyfriend had used her best friend like a chest piece.
"I DID IT FOR YOU! You got your best friend back and," Mark said before Ana cut him off.
"DON'T YOU DARE ACT LIKE THIS WAS FOR ME… NO NO NO THIS WAS FOR YOUR OWN SELFISH FUCKING GAIN…..You put my best friend into an impossible situation, you dangled fucking freedom in his face and of course he was going to take it and now? Now he's in a situation I can't see him getting out of alive! HOW THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR ME MARK?! No, no this was all about you moving up the fucking ranks to the U.S. attorney spot yourself and you didn't fucking care who got in your way," Ana spat out, her anger now matching Mark's easily.
"Well neither did you seem to give a fuck about who was getting hurt when you were getting down with Angel hey?" Mark spat back, the two now inches away from each other, waiting for the other to make their move.
"Don't you fucking act like it's the same thing… I developed feelings for someone else, and I fucking came clean to you. YOU PUT MY BEST FRIEND IN DANGER AND USED HIM LIKE A PAWN!" Ana said, screaming at the top of her lungs.
Mark, now calm and collected, spoke with ease. Chuckling, "Yeah, yeah you know I don't know how he's gonna get out of that one babe and frankly? I don't give a fuck anymore. All I know is big brother Angel better not find out because I can only think of one way that's gonna go…"
Clenching her jaw, Ana found herself bawling her right hand into a fist to keep from slapping Mark.
Noticing her rage, Mark only continued egging her on. "Yeah see because we all know your boy Angel has trust issues, and I just can't imagine that he's gonna like hearing his baby brother is betraying him, right?" Gasping, Mark taunted Ana with a mock expression, "And what would he do if he found out you knew? The supposed love of his life? Picking his brother's side over his?" Whistling, Mark only looked back at Ana with a smirk as he revelled in her tears. If I can't have her then no one else fucking can, he thought.
What happened next shocked both of them: Ana's open palm connected with Mark's right cheek in a slap that surely was heard throughout the entire neighbourhood.
Unsteadying him, Mark brought his hand to soothe his instantly red cheek as he looked back at Ana in shock.
"How could you be so fucking cruel?" She asked, tears now completely streaming down her face.
With his hand still on his cheek, Mark answered. "I could ask you the same thing Ana. I fucking did everything for you, and this is how you repay me? How long have you wanted him huh? How long have you just been playing house with me but wanted someone else?"
Ignoring his questions, Ana was overcome with the urge to find EZ and make sense of this whole mess.
"I'm done with this conversation. I don't owe you anything…. When I get back I want you gone. Pack your shit. I don't care where you go, but I'm done Mark," Ana said firmly, walking past Mark without a second look.
Following her through the hallway into the living room, Mark stopped before Ana opened the front door and walked out of his life for good. As angry as he was, part of him still wanted to just figure this out.
"Ana… wait… I… Ana I love you. Don't do something you're going to regret, don't walk out on me," he pleaded to her.
Letting go of the doorknob and turning around to face him, Ana cleared her throat for what she was about to say. "My only regret Mark, is that I should've done this much fucking sooner."
And with that Ana walked out of the door and into the open, practically running to her car with tears still streaming down her face, with a plan to track EZ down and figure out what was going on.
Author's note – That's chapter 10 guys!
I'm sorry: no Angel and Ana in this one but considering what happened I'm hoping you understand why that is.
Thank you so much for being patient with me and this chapter update, I am so so grateful.
I promise I'll aim to upload the next chapter within a week, as I've been having random daydreams about Angel and Ana and I cannot WAIT to put them into the story.
So please, continue to review if you already do so and if you don't please start! It motivates me so much hearing all your thoughts, good or bad and helps speed the writing process along!
Thank you :)