First: Thank you all SO MUCH! I REACHED 500 REVIEWS and I'm not quite sure what to do with myself. (besides spazzing out)
Second: This is actually really difficult trying to get Skull to explain all of this and it's getting long so it's gonna get split apart.
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Lal had had to leave the room. She was a Rain, but even she had her limits to what she would deal with. Finding out how much Skull had been hurt, that they had made his situation worse, that they- that she- had missed so much about their Cloud was…
Lal wanted to hit things until something broke- her hand, the object, or Skull's enemies- until she couldn't feel anything for a while. A soldier had been the one to save her and her kids. It had been winter and she had been homeless, cold, and starving, but she had been the oldest in the group and one of the few able to go out for food and come back. She still wouldn't have made it alive with the kids she watched out for- her kids-if the soldier hadn't helped her.
She owed her life to a soldier, had chosen her career path because of that soldier, had become and worked with soldiers for a large portion of her life and she hadn't noticed.
If Lal hadn't walked away she would have destroyed the house.
There had been so many scars.
Gods they had been so blind.
She slides back into the house silently after working off some of the rage (they had firewood for a while) before sitting on the couch next to Colonnello.
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Skull's hands are shaking.
He can't hide up here forever, he knows, but he doesn't want to go downstairs either. Yuni sits beside him, waiting for Skull to move. She doesn't say a word to him about what he 'should' do.
Skull appreciates that.
They had seen his scars, and had saved his life. They were his Elements, his friends. He had hidden this from them for 33 years. He had always known they would find out though.
He supposed it was time.
Skull shudders again before he stands. A hand ghosts over the scars on his face before his eyes drift to the hand bearing the scar 'I must not tell lies'. His eyes lift to the door that leads downstairs.
It was time. He'd always meant for the others to find out about his past, just…not like this. He'd always thought it would be on his terms. When he felt ready.
If he was honest, Skull didn't think he would ever have been 'ready' to tell them though.
So maybe…maybe this was for the best.
Even if he felt like he was going to throw up he was so nervous. Even if he hands shook, and his breath wanted to come in too-quick gasps. Even if he wasn't even sure where to start explaining everything to the others.
Just because it was for the best didn't mean that Skull didn't want to run. He wanted to run- very much. He didn't want to explain this, didn't want to relive everything he had survived.
Didn't want the Arcobaleno to see Harry Potter in Skull De Mort.
He wouldn't run though. He had faced Voldemort, a Basilisk, Dementors, Dragons, Mermaids, and war all trying to kill him without running. He refused to start with the Arcobaleno who cared about his wellbeing. He took a shaky breath before he began heading for the stairs.
He wasn't really ready for this, but…but circumstances meant it was time to tell them anyway. A tried sort of smirk worked its way onto his face. Once again he was shoved into a situation without being prepared.
At least this one wouldn't kill him.
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The Arcobaleno's eyes snapped to the stairs when they heard the door open and shut. They knew Skull had let them hear him coming. (Even before all this had happened Skull had always been quiet on his feet, so they knew the noise was deliberate)
They watch as their Cloud slinks down the stairs his shoulders tense, his face blanked, but his eyes shining with stress and tension. He gets about halfway down the stairs before he pauses, his dark (jaded) eyes staring at them all. They see the subtle shiver that runs through his body before he takes a deep audible breath and continues down the stairs.
"I've fought my entire life." He tells them with his voice shaking a bit, but his eyes are steady. "I didn't even make it to two years old before I started fighting" he continues and the Arcobaleno want to flinch.
They had known they wouldn't like what came out of their Cloud's mouth (and only Viper truly knows how much the others will loathe what they will soon learn, only Viper has any idea of how dark their Cloud's life had actually been) but they hadn't thought it would start so early.
Two? He had fought since he was physically the age the curse had reverted them to?
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Skull has locked his body into place at the foot of the stairs after letting that first sentence escape his lips.
He hadn't really realized at first that he had been fighting since he was two. "I-" he paused and closed his eyes and breathed.
This was hard.
Harder than walking out to the Forbidden Forest and meeting Voldemort, knowing, knowing he would die there. Dying was easy. Making the choice between his life and the lives of his friends, of the children that stood behind him?
There had never been an easier choice in his life.
Living was hard. It was uncertain and things changed, and it hurt but- but.
He had stood up from certain death for a second time and had marched forward from there even after he realized he was different than the others, even after he realized that the war he had fought, the family he had lost, the friends he had buried that had all died for a world free of Voldemort and for some sort of equality had died for nothing because everything they had fought against was still happening only now it was better hidden. (And that had been one of the worst realizations of all)
Telling all of this to the Arcobaleno was hard, but he would get through this. He wasn't wiping their minds, and they wouldn't leave him alone now that they knew something so Skull would have to talk.
"I" he continued, his voice steadying out as he spoke "lost my parents when I was one. They died defending me from a madman." His eyes glazed (Lilly it's him! Take Harry and run! I'll hold him off!)(Not Harry! Please, no, not Harry! Take me! Take me instead!) before he shoved the memories back. "I was left with my mother's sister. She…did not take after my Mum. She…my Aunt that is, and her family wanted nothing to do with me, and so my fight began." Skull didn't meet any of the Arcobaleno's eyes. Instead he stared over shoulders and at the walls around them.
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The Arcobaleno didn't need anything spelled out for them. They weren't stupid. With what Skull had said, and what he wasn't saying paired with the scars on his body- some that they knew where from very early childhood…
Skull had been abused by this family of his.
Flames stirred in response to their anger. It wasn't even two minutes into their Cloud speaking to them and they were already angry. They were Mafia and it wasn't something they hadn't seen before- especially at the top of the Underworld where they stood- of course. Child abuse was unfortunately a rather common problem so it was something they had seen and dealt with many times honestly.
But this…this was their Cloud. This was personal. This was one of theirs that had been hurt and that changed things.
Gods they had hurt their Cloud so much more than they had realized. How many times had they hit him? How many times had they yelled and demanded and ordered him around?
…Skull had never dodged their hands before only gunshots and weapons. He'd always just taken their orders and obeyed. Almost like he was used to hands hurting him and saw no reason to dodge them. Almost like it was instinctive to respond to orders without thought (especially since they had hit him while giving their orders)
Glances were exchanged as they realized this. How much had they expanded on their Cloud's pain just by mimicking his early childhood, even if they hadn't realized it? How much had they hurt him?
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Skull continued "It wasn't pleasant there. I was made into a live-in slave. Punishments included getting hit, whipped, and starved." Skull fell back to 'mission mode' as he spoke. It allowed him to recite what he knew without feeling too emotionally attached to the information. He had used in during the war many times and working in the Mafia had only made it worse. It would hit him later, and hit him hard after he had finished, but for now this allowed him to speak without his emotions overwhelming him too horribly.
It…wasn't healthy, but Skull didn't think he'd manage with the Arcobaleno if he did this any other way.
"Mistakes resulted in punishment. Mistakes included burning food, missing a spot while cleaning, not cleaning something enough, trimming hedges unevenly, missing weeds in the garden, doing better than my cousin in anything, touching my cousin's belongings, asking questions, speaking out of turn, being rude, being a freak." He drew in a breath "If my cousin did something wrong, it was my fault for being a freak and I was punished. If my cousin made something up and told my Aunt or Uncle I was punished. If I tried to defend myself I was punished. If I dodged I was punished. I learned quickly that I didn't ask questions and it was better to just take the punishments without complaint or any attempts to fight back because once I was caught it was five times worse than it would have been. I learned that guarding my food was something I would be punished for by having it taken away, I learned not to ask for more or I wouldn't be fed anything, I learned that if my cousin was hungry he could take my food from me and I had to let him. I learned that food was rare and I had to obey the rules of the house or I would get nothing" He blinked, some feeling working its way past his barriers and into his eyes and voice "And I was hungry so I listened. I didn't fight back, I didn't disobey, I tried to be their version of perfect."
Skull fell back to the repressed state as he continued "I know now that the only thing that kept my going was my abilities, but I didn't find that out until years later."
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They felt sick.
All the Arcobaleno felt nauseous in one way or another. Hands that were some of the steadiest in the world, hands that could carve out swathes of death without the slightest of quivers shook. Subtly, almost unnoticed, but they shook.
Their treatment of Skull had mimicked these people. These people they were so angry with had done what they had done. They had hit their Cloud, shoved him around and screamed at him. They had demanded perfection from him, and when it wasn't given to them they had gotten violent with him. If he had fought against them they had hit him harder. (I learned quickly to not ask questions and take the punishments without complaint or any attempts to fight back.) And how many times had they taken food from his plate and eaten it in front of him? (I was hungry so I listened.)
Flames stilled and stuttered in their horror, glances were exchanged, hands quivered, eyes gleamed with Flames as emotions raged under the surface of the blank faces of the Arcobaleno projected much as Skull was doing now.
And that was wrong too. Skull was meant to be emotional and flamboyant and loud. Not this…blank marble statue that recited this information like he was describing the list of groceries he needed to get and not the earth shaking revelations that they were for the Arcobaleno.
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"I was six when I realized that no matter what I did my family would loathe my existence and punish me for whatever imagined wrong they could think of. I still preformed as close to perfect as I could manage for them, but I realized at six that it wouldn't change anything." He tilted his head "I was six and a half when I found out I couldn't tell anyone about what they did to me because everyone I told, or anyone that put the pieces together would suddenly 'forget' and then 'disappear'. I was trapped and nothing I did would change it."
Skull sighed "And then I turned eleven and I saw a glimpse of the sun. A flicker of hope."
His eyes cleared of blankness and focused sharply on the horrified faces of the Arcobaleno (not that they showed any sign of rage or pain, but Skull knew how to read them anyway) as he told them "What I tell you now is a secret kept under something that is a reflection of Omerta. I am using a loophole to tell you of it- for it states that I may only tell members of my family and so I am telling my Family, but you must not speak on this."
Skull stares at the Arcobaleno. As Harry Potter it is entirely possible he could tell whoever he wished of Magic so long as he trusted them and no one would breathe a word against it, but he will not have them saying anything that would have someone messing with their minds. He also wants them to realize that this is a society like the mafia in the sense that it is hidden and dangerous. He waits until he has a verbal agreement from each of the Arcobaleno before he retreats back to that blank state of being where he represses the emotions attached to his memories.
"I warn you now that breaking this agreement could result in me being placed in Their version of Vindice's prisons and your minds will all be wiped of any memories of what I tell you now as well as any memory of me. You will not remember any of it."
He can feel the bristling of the Arcobaleno's Flames but it's muted in this state, something that feels far away.
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All of the Arcobaleno bristle and their Flames roar under their skin as their Cloud casually speaks of mind wipes, of forgetting him, of a Vindice equivalent taking him away to be left to rot while they forgot anything was wrong.
It would have been better if he had sounded more emotional about it, but Skull spoke like a civilian spoke of rain. Like it was nothing. Something to be deal with.
Viper alone knows that Skull speaks of Azkaban and Dementors and she shudders. She would not allow their Cloud to fall to that fate. Not even if she needed to use a Mist laced compulsion. She had failed her Cloud (the Man who saved her) more than enough already. She would not fail him in this. Would not allow him to be caged in that hellhole.
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Skull can feel how close he is to breaking down. He's a hairsbreadth away from just stopping, from backing out of the room. His childhood had been the easy part for all that it had hurt to tell them. This next part…his Hogwarts years…that glimpse of the sun so close he could almost touch it only to discover he was Icarus and he had flown too close to the sun and was soon to crash painfully to the ground…
A deep breath and he reinforces the barrier between his mind and his emotions.
He can break later. He can shatter apart afterwards, he can put himself back together as he always has after he finishes here.
All he needs to do is breathe. As long as he breathes he can step forward, he can keep going.
(Even when he is falling apart and there's no one there to put him together again anymore, even when he feels like he's bleeding, when he feels like he can't take another step. As long as he was breathing he could stagger on as he always has: broken and lost and pained but stubborn.)
(Or perhaps not stubborn, but lost with no idea how to do anything but continue forward no matter what is in his way because it was all he had been taught to do, all he knew how to do.)