Aang stood at the foot of the large central tower that had once been his safe place many many years ago. He stood looking at the once-graceful and beautiful white stone now standing scorched and defiant and anything but comforting, whilst around him confused voices and tired yawns filled the air.
"So, what was the big rush about, Katara?" Sokka asked, the heal of his hand kneading one of his eyes. "Why'd we have to wake up?"
Aang heard him clearly, even over the buzzing in his head, but he felt so embarrassed at his over-reaction that he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to look around. The nightmare of last night had confused him and frightened him so much that he truly had believed that Tonrar and flames would burst through the windows of this great tower any second and swallow his friends up with it, but of course nothing of the sort had happened. Katara had ran into the tower, Aang frozen at the bottom and unable to move, before their friends had followed her out, some alarmed and others simply too tired to be. He could feel Katara looking at him, and he was sure that she knew the thoughts running through his head, because she made no attempt to press him for answers.
"I think it was just a false alarm this time," Katara said at long last, and he knew she was looking at her brother now. "But next time it might not be, I think we should all stay out of that tower for now."
"Whadya mean?" Toph asked, her thick hair standing on end.
Katara hesitated, he felt her eyes straying towards him again and he swallowed.
"It's my fault," he said quietly. "I just over-reacted to something."
"To what?" Suki stepped forward, leaning sideways to look into his face, which he was sure was burning beetroot.
"I had a ... nightmare, ok?" He grumbled, rubbing his arm.
"Well, what happened?"
Aang was taken back to hear Sokka's voice so serious, no sign of a tease or scoff, and he was able to look round at his friends. He saw that Toph, too, had a crease to her brow as she listened intently.
"Well," he shifted for a moment, before taking a deep breath. "I dreamed that there were people trapped up there, dying, but it wasn't the Fire Nation up there with them, it was Tonrar."
"You know Tonrar didn't kill the Air Nomads though, right?" Toph asked.
"Of course I know that," Aang sighed. "But, when I woke up, it still felt so real and I worried that maybe ... maybe it was you trapped up there, not the Air Nomads."
A silence followed his heavy statement. No one looked the least bit amused, there was no joke cracked to ease the air, to tell Aang that he was being ridiculous, just silence and frowns. Sokka exchanged a meaningful glance with Suki, before his shoulders drooped slight and he turned to look Aang in the eye.
"Look, I don't know how much your nightmare meant, Aang, but I think we've all sort of been waiting for something like this to happen."
"Sokka-" Katara started uncomfortable, but her brother cut across her.
"We've been trying to keep your mind off Tonrar, just so you could get a little better, but whoever he is he's not going to just let us all sit here playing airball. We all know what's going to need to be done, and we should get ready for it."
"What needs to be done?" It was Aang's turn to frown now. "Look, I know you guys have all been talking about this behind my back, but it sounds like you've made plans, like you know how you're going to deal with Tonrar."
"We have made a plan," Sokka replied, unabashed. "We've been preparing, and we all agreed that you wouldn't play any part in it."
"Sokka-"
"We all agreed," Sokka interrupted firmly, causing Katara to look away. Aang, in truth, could not quite believe what he was hearing. He looked between his friends, hoping that someone would offer up an explanation or tell him that, of course, Sokka was just getting carried away. But Suki and Katara wouldn't look him in the eye, and Toph remained silent.
"So, let me get this straight," he began, trying to keep his voice level. "You have all made a plan on how to deal with Tonrar, not only a spirit but a spirit that you know nothing about, and you plan to take care of this spirit without my help?"
"Aang," Katara took a deep breath. "You know full well what Tonrar can do, what he can do to you. When he finally comes here, and he will, he will take control of you and he will use you. I wish it wasn't so, sweetie, I really do, but you have to be hidden and you have to trust that we can handle this."
"Katara this isn't about trust," Aang replied, his hands raising into the air. "I'm the Avatar, the bridge between the worlds, this is my job! I can't let you all put yourself in danger like this-"
"And it's our job to protect the Avatar," Suki said firmly, taking a step forward. "Surely you've realised that by now? If the spirits chose you to protect this world, then the spirits also chose us to protect you. So let us protect you. Let us try and defeat this guy."
He had no idea what to say. Suki looked at him with eyes blazing with confidence, Sokka watched him, not with disdain, but like a warrior bearing his arms in offering, and Katara's eyes were a silent plea for him to understand and to trust. And, in spite of himself, he found himself starting to understand. He trusted those brave faces around him, the faces of his family.
"Ok," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "But I need to know what this plan is. I need to know every single stage, and I need you to listen to me if I say it's too dangerous."
For a moment, Sokka seemed to hesitate, before he relented and nodded. "Agreed."
"I'd just like it put on the record that I'm not happy with any of this," Aang grumbled.
"Oh, don't worry Twinkletoes we are all well aware," replied Toph, speaking for the first time before stretching her arms into the air. "Now if that's everything can we please go back to bed?"
"Ok, but I think we should sleep out here for the rest of the night," Katara said. Then, she looked over at Aang. "You're going to have plenty of stuff to do as well, Aang. I think you need to go up there." She pointed to the top of the tower. "I think it's important that you get past this."
Aand didn't say a word, but in a sense his silence and the somewhat pained way he glanced back at his own dorm was enough of an answer for all of them.
"Ok, well, let's all try and get some more sleep, and we can go through the plan in the morning."
***
Aang had struggled to fall back to sleep the night before, even though Katara had somewhat defiantly slept beside him despite Sokka's low grumbles over the matter, but it seemed at some point whilst tossing and turning on the hard stone floor he had shut his eyes and next opened them to find himself snuggled up tight to Katara, his arm wrapped around her waist and his face buried in her hair. Groggily he opened his eyes, taking a moment to look around the rest of the camp. The heavy snores from Sokka and Toph's direction and the blanket pulled right over Suki's head told him that he was the first to wake. He looked across to Katara, who lay sprawled beside him, mouth slightly ajar and thick hair spread out around them, and despite the dull ache in his head reminding him of the events of the night before, he was unable to stop a small smile breaking his lips. If only Katara could see how adorable she was when she slept.
The sun was already quite high in the sky, and he suspected that they had all overslept by quite some margin, even Appa and Momo who had seemed indifferent to the drama that had unfolded last night, and as much as he wanted to let everyone sleep whilst he sneaked away to attempt once more to meditate, he didn't think that Katara would be too happy. So, with a small sigh, he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, softly whispering her name. She stirred, blinking sleepily back at him, before a smile brightened her face.
"Morning," she said, reaching out and pulling his face down to hers. It was almost as if her brother had sensed the oogies about to occur, because a loud yawn interrupted their kiss and, rolling his eyes, Aang pecked Katara on the nose and sat up.
"Morning sleepy head," Katara said, also now sat up, and searching among the packs to her left.
"Wow, we really over slept," Sokka commented, as he gently shook Suki, who groaned irritably as she poked her head out from under her blanket. "Oy, Toph, wakey wakey!"
"You wakey wakey me again, Snoozles, and your legs will go breaky breaky," the earthbender growled from her own blanket.
A little later the group sat, their stomachs full of breakfast with the exception of a nauseous Aang, and an awkward air about them as they all wondered who was going to broach the subject of Tonrar yet not wanting to be the ones to speak about it themselves. Aang was in no mood to speak on the subject, not least of all because he hoped that maybe they would all decide that taking on Tonrar without him would be a mistake without any nudging from him, but inevitably Sokka brushed the crumbs from the seat of his trousers, and they all looked at him intently.
"So ... the plan." Sokka looked across at Aang, clapping his hands together as if he were tying to gather the confidence to continue. Aang couldn't help but feel even more dubious now that Sokka was obviously uncomfortable about telling him the details ...
"Just pull off the leach, Sokka," Toph said. "It'll be less painful for everyone if you just out with it."
"It's going to be painful?" Aang asked, he looked over at Katara expecting her to roll her eyes at Toph's exaggeration, but she averted her gaze from his.
"Ok, the plan," Sokka breathed. "Well, the plan is to ... well, it's to wait right here."
Aang blinked. "That's it?"
"Not quite," Suki interrupted, raising an eyebrow over at Sokka, who cleared his throat.
"Ok, everyone hush up," he snapped, "you know I'm no good at public speaking." He cleared his throat again. "But yes, our plan is to wait right here for Tonrar to come to us. We know he knows where we are, and we know that he's not going to stay away forever, so I say in that regard we have an advantage. We know the terrain, we can build up a pretty good defense outside of the statue room, and it'll be a good place for Aang to hide to without Tonrar being able to spot him."
"I don't think he really needs to be able to see me to know I'm there."
"No, but we're working on the assumption that he does need to be pretty close to you to be able to push you into the Avatar State. All we know is that the only times he's done that is when he's been able to see you."
"Sokka has got a fair point," Suki said. " We could be totally wrong about that, but it is all we've got to work with right now." Aang grunted.
"I say that we all train our butts off until baldy turns up," Sokka continued. "Hopefully we'll have enough of an advantage then to swoop in and take him and his shadowy spirit guys out."
"You make it sounds so easy," Aang sighed.
"We know it's not going to be," Sokka said reproachfully. "But we have got the up on the guy at this point, so I plan to use that. Further more, we have a nice juicy bait that Tonrar will be too distracted looking for to even notice us hiding in wait!"
"Let's stop referring to Aang as bait, Sokka," Katara said with a frown.
"Well if it looks like a squirrel-duck and it quacks like a squirrel-duck, it's a squirrel-duck," Sokka said with a shrug, whilst his sister scowled at him. "So, my plan is this ... Aang, you stay up in the statue room. You've got to stay hidden, but we also need you to be a lookout for the final part of the plan. You cannot be seen before that point, you understand?"
"Yes, Sokka, I understand the concept of not being seen." Sokka ignored him.
"I need some more time to look at the terrain outside the statue room, another day maybe, before I can finalize the formations, but the idea itself is simple. We'll need to have three of us confronting Tonrar and the shadow spirits directly, take all of his attention upon us, and move him further away from the edge of the temple, before one of us sneaks up behind Tonrar and takes him out."
"Take him out?" Aang felt himself pale. "Sokka the guy's a spirit, possibly a very ancient one, how exactly do you plan to take him out?"
"Well, Suki did offer to be the one to do it," Sokka continued, casting his girlfriend a look of admiration, "but I think it's better that we had a bender do it. Katara has already said that he was weak against her bad ass ice bending, he didn't know how to counter-act that, but we have no idea what would happen if Suki tried to take him on hand-to-hand."
Aang looked over at Katara, the idea of her taking anyone out leaving him feeling panicked and sick to his stomach.
"Katara you can't," he said simply. "I don't know what you're expecting to happen here but Tonrar is a spirit."
"Didn't Zhao kill the moon spirit?" Katara asked pointedly, crossing her arms and seeming not to notice the way his entire body seemed to flinch at the k-word. "He didn't seem to struggle with that."
"Katara, it's not the same ..."
"How? We know that the moon spirit gave up her immortality to live in the mortal world. What if Tonrar has had to do the same so that he can spend so much time on this side?"
"If he has or not doesn't matter because Tonrar isn't a helpless fish!" Aang jumped to his feet, unable to contain his frustration at his friends any longer. He saw Sokka glower at him, but found he had little time to cater to the warrior, instead sighing and putting his hand to his head. "Guys, look, you agreed that I would have a say in this plan, and here it is ... I don't know anything about this spirit. I haven't been able to contact Roku to ask him, spirits I haven't even been able to ask Koh or ... He may have crossed over during the Solstice and, for all we know, his status as an immortal spirit could very much remain intact. And, another point to consider is that Tonrar wouldn't cross over into this world just to be defeated by ... well ..."
"Defeated why what exactly?" Sokka demanded, glaring at Aang. "By non-benders?"
"By humans!" Aang shook his head. "I don't mean that as a negative to any of you, I know how strong you all are, but I'm not sure that strength matters in a fight with a spirit like Tonrar."
"You can't know that, Aang," Katara said firmly. "We don't know much, but I do know that if that shadow spirit of his hadn't grabbed me that night I could have killed Tonrar where he stood."
Aang's breath caught in his throat, alarmed at her words. "Katara-"
"No, don't give me that tone, Aang," she interrupted. "I could have done. Further more, Tonrar fled when we came to your rescue back at the edge of the Earth Kingdom. Maybe he knows he's weak against humans. We don't have a spirit that he can control."
Aang swallowed. She was right, it did seem that, so far, Tonrar was not able to control anyone but him. Maybe Tonrar really was only a huge threat if he had him at his control. But those spirits he had with him could bend, and he was certain that they could and would kill if need be.
"Human or no, we're sticking with the plan," Sokka said firmly. "Me, Suki, and Toph will keep those spirits around him busy, keep Tonrar's attention on us, and Katara goes for the finishing blow."
"Finishing blow?" Aang said weakly, dropping back to his haunches. "Are you guys seriously thinking about killing him?"
"Well, I suppose we could always ask him nicely to stop," Toph said, putting her hand to her chin and cocking her head to the side. "I mean, that's always worked in the past, right?"
"Toph ..." Aang growled.
"Of course we're going to kill him!" Sokka exclaimed. "What else are we supposed to do with him? As soon as he gets anywhere near you he'll just use his creepy psycho powers on you and we're roasted seal met. We don't have your Avatar powers, Aang, and as much as we don't know about Tonrar we know that there's no way we could stand against full on glowy Avatar mode."
Aang shook his head. He felt sick, frustrated. "Do you have any idea what the consequences are for killing a spirit?" He urged. "Are you all forgetting what the ocean spirit did to Zhao?"
"Who says there would be any consequences like that," Suki replied. "From what you guys have told me the moon and ocean spirit were connected, the ocean spirit was taking his revenge."
Aang sat in silence, head spinning. They had no idea what could lay ahead of them, he had no idea what lay ahead of them. He needed to speak to Roku, hell even Koh, before his friends got themselves killed for his sake.
"Right, so the plan is we attack, Katara strikes, and Aang stays out of the way and tries not to go into the Avatar State," Toph said, as if she were indifferent to Aang's internal struggles, and waving a hand dismissively. "How strong are these spirits, Twinkletoes, the ones that hang around Tonrar?"
"Strong enough that Zuko's guard couldn't hold them back," Aang muttered. "They seem to all work in unison, I couldn't shake even one of them for long."
"Eh, I'm sure we can take 'em," Toph shrugged.
"I hope you're right, Toph." He looked back up at them. "I really don't like this, guys. Not even a little bit. There's so much we don't know, so much that could go wrong ..."
"We don't like it much either," Katara said softly, now leaning forwards and putting a hand on his arm. "But we have to try something. And, you know what, how many times have you asked us to trust you? Perhaps it's time for you to start trusting us."
He looked at her, guilt now filling his gut alongside the doubt and the worry, but her words still struck him. He sighed and nodded.
"Well, we best get over to the statue room and start working on a formation," Sokka said, standing up. "Toph I want you in the centre, I think, as you can cover much more ground with your rock stuff. Me and Suki can flank, and Katara we need to make sure that you're behind him before ... sneak attack!"
"Right, but I won't yell it like you do," Katara scoffed, roughing up Sokka ponytail whilst Suki and Toph laughed. "Everyone finish up and we'll get started. Aang, maybe you should try meditating again?"
He couldn't hide the sliver of shame as she said that, knowing full well that he would have no luck again today, but he nodded none-the-less.
"I'll join you soon," she continued, standing too and placing a hand on his shoulder. "And then we can start thinking about how we're going to deal with that Tower."
***
He did try to meditate, he gave it the best shot he could, but that horrid walking-through-custard feeling inside his head hadn't lifted and, despite his very best efforts, he could not steady or slow his mind enough to pass into a meditative state. Though he had a feeling he should, he couldn't bring himself to venture over to where his friends were working on the dreaded plan that they had concocted together, perhaps a part of him hoped that if he remained abscent enough they would all just change their minds. Or that Tonrar wouldn't turn up at all. But the folly of that thought made even he laugh, and so he had decided to wander around some of the less triggering parts of his old homeland.
Not far from the central spire of the dorms was a small and overgrown courtyard, and in the center of that courtyard an ivy-covered and dry fountain stood sadly forgotten. He remembered he and his friends stopping to get a drink from the fountain after their training, laughing as one of them splashed water in the faces of the others. He walked further towards the courtyard before his eyes caught sight of a thickly brambled area to his right, certainly this area seemed to be the most affected by nature's course, and he pushed his way a little into the undergrowth before realising that he wasn't going to get much further on foot. This entire area had been where they had grown just a few of their crops. Much of their food they would find by flying out from the temple, but here they had grown corn and some other easier-to-grow crop that coped with the altitude. He remembered that harvest was a time that many of the young airbenders dreaded, it was a chore that they were all expected to take part in, though he had never minded it so much. Being out in the sun, among the kids his age, occasionally sneaking a bite or two from some of the freshly picked sweet corn, it had been a time he had looked forward to. With some sadness he kicked at the rough, sandly soil beneath his feet. With some work perhaps there was a chance that this area could go back to the way it had been, if he owed his people anything it was surely that.
Not long later he was making his slow way back towards the dorms, his feet feeling heavier and heavier with each step as he tried to imagine how he would step through those doors again, and how he would be able to stay in control of his fear and panic when he did. He had not so long ago slipped into the Avatar State unconsciously as he had sped towards the Fire Nation and towards Katara, and that had been even before Tonrar had revealed himself to Aang. Right now, he dread to think what would happen if his Avatar spirit felt threatened, whether he would again become overwhelmed by the Avatar State even without Tonrar around him. As he walked around the shubbery that obscured the temple from the right side of the island, he saw that Katara was already waiting for him, clearly not to be perturbed by his obvious lack of enthusiasm where the dorms were concerned. She looked up as he came closer, a smile on her face, and he heaved a heavy sigh. Whether he was ready or not, it was time to enter the tower.
"Feeling a bit more refreshed?" Katara asked, climbing to her feet and dusting off her skirt.
"A little," Aang lied, trying not to look at the elephant in the room towering right over her. Katara seemed to sense his nerves, however, as she stepped forward and pressed her hand into his.
"We'll take this as slowy as you need to," she said softly. "And I'll be at your side every step of the way. But I really think you have to do this, Aang. I feel like this tower, and the fear you have, is the key to understanding Tonrar's control on your somehow."
Aang nodded, finally looking up at the tower. She wasn't wrong, he had felt that too, even from the beginning. It wasn't so much his fear of seeing what remained of his people that held him back, though that was obviously a big part of it, but his fear of what would happen to him in the state that Tonrar had left him in.
"Let's just start by walking through the doorway," Katara continued, gently pulling him closer to the door. Aang took a couple steps, before he stopped.
"Katara have you ... been up there? To the top?"
She was silent for a moment, eyes searching his face as if trying to decide whether her answer would help him or not. "Yes," she said at last. "I've been up there."
He felt sick to his stomach once more, and felt her hand clench around his.
"Aang, what you're scared of seeing ... would it help if I told you if it was there or not?"
He swallowed, before nodding.
"They're up there," she said quietly. "I don't know how many but ... they're there."
He wasn't entirely sure what he felt at this point. He knew what the answer would have been, no one had come to move the bodies of his fallen friends and teachers after the Fire Nation had left, and he knew that so many of them must have been trapped in here and unable to get away. But, knowing for sure that he was about to see the remains of his old kin was impossible to quantify with any one emotion.
"Look," Katara said, squeezing his hand again. "I know it will be a shock, but you being back here is important. No one has been able to put them all to rest, but we can do that now. Together."
He looked down at her, her eyes wide and concerned yet still having the calming affect on him they always had (when they weren't filling his stomach with butterflies at least) and he was able to find the strength to squeeze her hand in response, and nod. She smiled encouragingly, and he prepared to step into the tower.
The feeling of panic was instant, the walls seemed to fall in on him the second he took a step onto that cold, old stone, and he was so close to running straight back out again. But the soft pressure on his hand as Katara lead him forward kept him grounded, and he shut his eyes, focusing all his attention on her. He knew his breath had quickened, he could practically hear his own heart beating, and images of fire pressing in on him threatened to over come him, but Katara's voice found it's way through.
"Aang, try focusing on what's around you," she said. She took his other hand and pressed it against the cold stone. "What do you feel?"
He felt like he was having a heart attack, he had begun to hyperventilate, but Katara took his other hand and pressed that, too, against the stone.
"Aang, listen to me, what do you feel?"
"S-stone," he managed, still keeping his eyes shut tight.
"Good, and what do you hear?"
"I ... I hear you."
"Ok, and what do you smell?"
"Smell?"
"Focus, what does this place smell like?"
He frowned, momentarily distracted by her odd request, the fire in his minds eye pushing back.
"I dunno ... damp?"
"I'm glad you noticed that as well, it doesn't half smell bad in here ..."
Her voice was light hearted, and he found he was able to open his eyes, his breathing beginning to ease.
"And finally," she said, removing her hands from his, "what do you taste?" She leaned forward, pressing her lips against his, and his heart began hammering at a different pace.
"You," he said, when she had pulled away. She grinned, and despite the sweat dripping down his forehead and the clamminess of his hands, he found he felt remarkably calm once again.
"Feel better?"
"Yes I- how did you do that?"
She smiled somewhat sadly at him. "Well, after my mother died I had a few panic attacks of my own. Gran Gran taught me how to cope with them, just focus on the things that are around you, the things you can identify, it makes everything feel a little less scary."
He looked around the corridor, the spiral stone steps ahead of them leading up to the rooms that coiled around the tower, and though his stomach was still knotting around itself, he found that he was able to take in his old home without that fire burning panic that had crippled him so badly.
"Well, it works," he said quietly. "How were you guys able to sleep here ... it's miserable."
Katara shrugged. "It's not so bad in the rooms."
He was glad to hear that as much, because the foyer of the temple was dark, dank, and cold. Stones had fallen away over time so that a soft trickle of water running down from misty tops of the tower left a small river across the pathway, from which a variety of mossy plants had started to grow. The wooden shelving and beams that had once acted as decoration in the foyer had rotted and crumbled, and scorch marks rose up the lengths of the pale stone walls. Even in this decay, it was easy to see how this room, although modest, had once been so proud a space, and it depressing to see it in such a state.
"Are you ok to go further?"
Aang nodded, and Katara took his hand again and led him towards the staircase that led up towards the dorm rooms.
He remembered it all so well ... racing up the stairs to beat his friends to their rooms, being told off by one of the older monks for air scooting inside, sneaking out of his room at night to practice his bending with his closest class mates. He tried hard to ground himself, to remain focused on where he was and Katara's hand in his and not the painful memories and growing sensations of panic, but it seemed as though the higher they climbed the more vivid the memories became. He knew they were close to his old room. There were scratches in the walls, no doubt from Fire Nation weapons, and his stomach jolted uncomfortably as his fingers brushed against a missing stone in the curved wall. A missing stone that he had brushed his hand over hundreds of times in his past as he had made his way to his room. Perhaps at another time he would have been excited to relive those memories, but as they stepped past the room where he could see that Katara and the others had set up camp, and walked just a couple doors more, the colour drained from his face and a wailing seemed to come from inside of his head.
His door had been kicked in at some point, no doubt during the Fire Nation attack. The frame of the door was splattered with something dark and sickening, and he knew that it was blood. Instead of the panic he had been feeling before, however, a new and much more violent feeling came over him, an anger bubbling in his stomach that he recognized from the first time Tonrar had pushed him into the Avatar State. Desperately he gripped Katara's hand, fighting against that anger inside of him. Tentatively, Katara looked up at him, eyes full of concern.
"Is this your room?"
He couldn't even manage a nod as he looked inside of the small, comforting space that he had once called home. Aang had never had many possessions, it wasn't in the nature of an Air Nomad, but he had had quite a selection of books that, instead of sitting neatly on the bookshelf against the wall, lay torn and trampled across the floor. A painting that he had once made with Gyatso's help was shred and burned, hanging by just one corner from the wall, which in itself was covered in scorch marks. The ceiling, too, was black where it had once been white, and whilst he was certain that no one but the monks had known his identity as the Avatar, it still seemed as though the Fire Nation army had spent a great deal of time destroying his room. The rage inside him only grew at that thought, and he had no choice but to stumble his way back out of the room, gasping for air.
"Aang-"
Had they known? Had they? Did every other room look this way or did they kill everyone else here just searching for him? He had to know, and he pushed his way back up the staircase, mind racing, hands grabbing the stone either side of him as his legs seemed to shake beneath him. He could hear Katara calling to him, sounding panicked, but he couldn't stop. He didn't stop. Not until the first of his people came into view, nothing left but the bone on the stone floor and the wooden pendant that hung around the neck, and his world seemed to come crashing down around him.
If he had managed any breakfast that morning he was sure he would have been sick. Instead, he felt so light headed he could faint, his anger ebbing in favour of shock. His fingers dug into the stone walls, and his legs buckled. Katara was quickly at his side, dropping to her knees and putting her hands on his arm, telling him that it was ok, but he could hardly hear her. The longer he looked up the staircase the more bodies he could see, with nothing to tell them apart from one another aside from the patterns on the wooden pendants lying across the floor. It had been over one hundred yeas, in that time even the rich cotton robes his people had worn had rotted away, with moss and vine taking their place and snaking across the bone. But the scorch marks had survived. The groves in the walls from spears and swords remained. Holes in the rock above from a battle between air and fire was the only evidence that his people had been able to put up a fight. A fight that they had all lost. He had left them to this, to suffocate and burn, fire pressing in on them on all sides. He shut his eyes tight, unable to stop the images of fire surrounding him, choking him. He stood up, almost falling backwards down the stairs, and ran. Katara grabbed him before he could tumble down the stone steps, pulling him into the doorway of his room, her hands on his arms forcing him to face her.
"Sweetie, I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry ..."
"I left them to this," Aang choked, his pain to great even for tears. "I ran away and left them to ... this."
"Sweetie, no, we've been through this. Things happen for a reason, you couldn't have stopped this from happening even if you had stayed-"
His eyes wandered over his room, as if desperate to find some distraction whilst in his heart he knew that he didn't deserve one. The burned walls, his shredded belongings. It was then that his eyes roamed over his bed and he saw, with a jolt, a small mound wrapped in a thick linen that he had missed the first time. Swallowing he walked past Katara, reaching over with shaking hands to pick up the parcel. As he did, the linen unravelled, and onto his bed rolled four items so painfully familiar to him. A turtle. A pull-string propeller. A monkey. And a hand drum.
"What are they?" Katara whispered, coming up beside him.
"They were my favourite toys when I was younger," he managed, hands shaking as he reached for the propeller, just as he had the last time these toys had been presented to him. "It's ... it's how they knew I was the Avatar." He looked at it, and it was as though any of the walls he had propped up inside of his head to fight off all the rage, and anger, and pain that was threatening to overcome him just fell away. The propeller dropped back onto his bed, and he turned his back to it, taking in the rest of the room, the blood on the floors, the scorch marks in the ceiling, his possessions lying forgotten on the floor.
"I left them to this," he repeated in a whisper. The pain grew, and he let it wash over him, punishing for what he had done to his Nation. "I killed them. It was as good as me."
"No!" Katara yelled, her own eyes blazing now as she threw herself in front of him. "You didn't kill them, this wasn't your fault. If you had stayed you would have died!"
"Then I should have died!" All of his rage and fury, the pain and confusion and fear that he had been feeling since Tonrar first infiltrated and violated his mind erupted, he raised his hands into fists and his eyes and tattoo's began to glow.
"Aang, stop!"
He turned to her, and all of his emotions gave way until he was nothing but hatred and anger, unable even to recognise the woman standing before him. She back away as he began to snarl, raising his arms towards her as fire enveloped them. But, just as he was about to strike, she ran towards him, throwing her arms around him and crashing her lips against his. At first he fought, snarling and pulling his face away from hers, but she grabbed the back of his head and pulled him closer, kissing him as deeply as she dared. He felt the fire around them fade, his rage begin to subside and his hatred gave way to all of the grief that he felt. The immeasurable amount of it now being poured into their kiss. He opened his eyes, and she looked back at him, fearful yet defiant, and tears began to fall down his cheeks.
"Katara-"
She didn't give him a chance to explain, to apologise, and she pushed herself onto him again, kissing him with a vehemence that she had never done before. In his grief, his body still humming from the power of the Avatar State, he felt his need for her grow beyond anything it had done before, so desperate to be as close to the woman who had saved him over and over again. His hands ran down her body to her thighs, pulling her up so that her legs wrapped around his waist and their faces could be level to one anothers. He tasted salt, opening his eyes to see that tears were running down her cheeks too, but even as he pulled away she pulled him back, her need for him every bit as strong. Their kisses became ever more desperate as her hands found the fabric that tied his robe around him, pulling it lose before eventually trying to pull the robe over his head. In the effort they unbalanced, falling backwards into his bed, Katara landing on top of him. But despite the precariousness of their positions, they paused in their kissing only so Katara could finally lift the robes over his head and onto the floor. His mind was numb and tired, body still frazzled, and it seemed as though his hands were working of their own accord, fingers tracing down her side onto her hips, before gently pulling her dress up round to her waist. Her hands splayed out either side of his head as she continued to kiss him and, as a small whimper broke her lips, he found himself desperate to be closer, to be pressed as closely to her as he could. He pushed himself up, so that she sat on his lap, and one of his hands passed from her now bare waist to the back of her head, fingers curling into thick hair, before he felt teeth pressing gently against his lower lip.
For two people to have been in love for as long as they had, who had somehow managed to content themselves with kisses for their early teen years, who had slept side by side with hands only wandering on the briefest of occasions, who had both seemed to be waiting for this unspoken agreement between the two of them to remain innocent to be broken by the other, this sudden emotional and physical out-pouring of their affections was both overwhelming and terrifying. The pressure of her teeth on his lips ignited his desire, if possible, even brighter and he found himself needing to touch and kiss every inch of that chocolate skin that he could reach. He broke from her lips, his head ducking so that he could kiss her jawline, tongue and lips dancing their way to her neck and the soft space just below her ear. Her light whimper became a moan that left his entire body a tremble, and he gasped. As he did so, his eyes opened, and his destroyed room came back into view, the full filthy truth of it hitting him straight in the face, and the thrilling fear of touching her mingled with the fear of his surroundings and the events of the past. Katara sensed the change, his body going rigid and the sharp intake of breath. Her delicate hand rose to his face, his pained grey eyes meeting her intense blue ones.
"I don't know if I can- here-" His awareness of where their affections were leading, and the fact that it would be happening in a place as painful as this would have horrified him if it wasn't for the way she then looked back at him. Her face calm, her eyes heavy yet still blazing and bright with an understanding that was still beyond him, her aura silent and focused.
"Bad things happened here," she said, her voice soft as silk. "But here is not a bad place. There was life here once, and there will be life here again. Your life, and mine. We'll create it together."
For two people to have been in love for as long as they had ... who had perhaps come into this world just so that they could find another, their union was something that no war, no pain, and no terror could prevent. He looked into her eyes, deep and wild and unchanging, and saw with such stunning clarity the future that lay ahead. There were no bodies, no spirits, but there was the sound of a child laughing, a woman singing, and a baby cooing. The terrifying and overwhelming conflicts seemed to wash away, and now he kissed her not with that desperate, clawing desire, but with unwavering commitment to what this moment meant, and what it would be the start of. Both his hands sunk into her hair, parted mouths pressing together, and Katara's hands ran across his chest and down to his stomach and to the sash on his trousers. In unison they removed one anothers clothes, Aang pulled her dress over her head, both raising to their knees to remove what was left. Tentative hands roamed across their bodies, and for the rest of his life he would remember the exact way the light from the window beside them had played across her naked body, the way that, despite being more vulnerable than they had perhaps every been, neither of them had ever felt safer.
He placed a hand behind her back, pulling her close and laying her on the bed beneath him, and the most sensitive parts of their bodies had touched for the first time. He couldn't help it, he moaned into her neck, and she wrapped her legs around him pulling his hips close as their bodies connected. They both gasped at the new feelings that ran between them like electricity, a feeling more spiritual than soaring through the air or bending the waves under the full moon, a feeling that would be unrivaled for the rest of their lives to come. The pair rocked together, moaning into each others necks, kissing every inch of flesh they could reach, their tentative pace increasing as Aang enjoyed every sensation, every little noise that she made, the feel of her soft skin beneath him and the sight of her hair spread out like water beneath them, the horrors of before now lost. He found that he wanted nothing more in that moment than to make her happier than he ever had, and he slowed his pace, his hand falling to the small of her back again as he raised her to him, his strokes now more deliberate, deep, as he looked into her eyes, wide with wonder. Her legs wrapped tighter around his waist, and a whimper broke her lips before she locked them with his. The sound ushered him to rock faster, and the whimpers became moans as she took her mouth from his and buried her face into his neck, fingers digging into his back. He felt her entire body tighten around him, and she cried his name into his throat, and in that instant he felt ecstasy and warmth and love that he had never felt in his life, hastily thrusting his own mouth into her hair to muffle the sound of his own cries before collapsing on top of her, the pair gasping and clutching one another as if their very lives depended on it.
For some moments they lay there, breathing heavily, looking into one anothers eyes, almost as if neither of them could quite believe what had just happened. Her eyes seemed to sparkle and dance before a soft smile played across her lips and he found himself unable to look away from the beautiful woman beneath him.
"You know," he said, "I don't think we can really do this each time you have to take me out of the Avatar State."
Her smile widened as she began to laugh, and the infectious sight spurred him into laughter a second later, the delightful sound filling that lifeless room with joy once again. For a good minute the pair laughed, before with kisses filled with such tenderness that could only come after a couple shared such moments together quitened them to chuckles and giggles as Aang rolled of to the side, adjusting himself so that he could prop his head up with one elbow and look down at her.
"Perhaps we'll just assess the situation as it comes," Katara said, still smirking.
"Well, I vote we just stay here," Aang continued, reaching forward and kissing the tip of her nose. "No spirits, no Avatar duties ... no clothes," he added, his eyes flickering down to her still naked body lying all too perfectly on the bed. Katara laughed again, her finger reaching out to his chin and pulling his face up to face her again.
"I do like the sound of that ..." She shifted herself closer to him, her nose almost touching his. "No meetings, or deadlines-"
"Katara! Where the hell are you?!"
"And no brother's," Aang and Katara said together, both flinching as the sound of Sokka's voice came in through the window.
"Katara!" The pair lay frozen for a moment, listening intently for the sound of feet on the staircase outside, but to their fortune they could not hear any. Tentatively Aang leaned over her to the window, peaking his head out over the side to see the young warrior, Suki, and Toph all standing in the courtyard outside, all looking up to the tower. Quickly he ducked his head back down.
"We, uh, probably ought to get dressed. He's brought the whole damn army."
"That's probably best!" Katara agreed, sitting up hastily and jumping from the bed. In spite of the urgency and possible castration that may come from Sokka finding them here, he found himself transfixed on the waterbender as she stood and grabbed their clothes from the floor, finding it suddenly hard to even swallow. She looked round, and blushed deeply, before throwing his robe at him. "Get dressed!"
He scrambled up, throwing on his clothes and trying his best not to watch as Katara put on hers. He was gentleman, wasn't he?
"How does my hair look?" Katara asked, patting the tangled mess down as best as she could before pulling the whole lot up into a ponytail.
"Looks fine, he won't know. How's mine?" He added with concern, rubbing his bald head.
"Oh shut up, airhead," she said, giggling and throwing his sash over his head. They head Sokka calling again, this time his voice sounding panicked, and realised that he was stood in the entrance hall below. The pair rushed out, Aang pausing just long enough to grab the bundle of toys that had fallen to the floor sometimes before. They had barely made it out of his room before they found themselves face to face with a wide eyed Sokka, who stood with his sword brandished.
"Oh thank the spirits!" Sokka yelled. "Where were you guys? Why didn't you answer me?"
"Can't hear much up there," Aang said hurriedly.
"What with the windows open?" Sokka replied, exasperated. He grabbed Aang by the shoulder, pulling him close, before, still holding his sword, grabbing his chin and turning his face this way and that.
"Sokka will you be careful!" Katara cried, grabbing the sword from his hand.
"I'm just making sure he's not all ... glowy or anything," Sokka replied, mercifully letting Aang go who put his hand to his now sore jaw. "Spirits, Katara when you didn't answer I thought ..."
Aang and Katara quickly exchanged glances.
"Everything's fine, Sokka," Katara said softly. Sokka eyed them suspiciously for a moment, before dropping his defensive stance. He looked down at the parcel that Aang was holding.
"What's that?" He demanded, pointing at it.
"Just a few things that I need to keep safe," Aang responded. He wrapped the parcel tighter and slipped it into one of the pockets of his robes, and was saved further explanation by Suki appearing behind at his shoulder. She took one look at Aang and Katara, before poking Sokka in the back.
"What happened to giving us the all clear?" She asked, scowling at him. "You trying to give us a heart attack or what?"
"Huh? Oh, Suki, I'm sorry I got distracted ..."
Suki rolled her eyes, turning and walking back down the stairs shaking her head.
"Aww come on, Suki, they're fine! Look!" Sokka followed after her, one hand gesturing back to Aang and Katara who looked over at each other with mixed relief and humour.
"We should follow, before Sokka gets into any more trouble," Katara said, her tone amused. He grinned at her, pulling her into another kiss, and she smiled up at him, their eyes dancing with their new secret.