Haymitch gave me an extra five coins when I returned with his bread.

He had said, "Maybe you aren't so useless after all."

I had punched him in the shoulder.

So, with ten coins bouncing in my pocket, I had decided to go and buy some stew from Greasy Sae. Without the meat that Gale and I usually bring in, all she has left to work with are a few leftover rotten vegetables from the grocery. And even they are scarce during the winter.

A bowl of stew from Sae is cheap, rounding at a mere two coins. But it usually depends on which meat it contains.

But I didn't go to the Hob to trade. I came there as a customer.

I bought a whole pot which cost me eight coins. Four bowls per broth. Two days for Prim and I if we ration properly.

I came home that night with my mother passed out on the couch and a pool of vomit beside it.

I knew that I couldn't leave the stew in the kitchen, because the most likely scenario would be that my mother would eat it up or Cray would sell it to the customers. And I couldn't let that happen.

I stocked the pot of broth inside my bedroom closet. There isn't much in there. A couple of shirts, pants and dresses. Worn, old and used. Just like my life.

I've come to accept that fact a long time ago.

Prim hasn't been in the house for a long time. I haven't let her go near it. I don't want her to see the state of it – the broken chairs and battered walls, the smell of sex and lust…the horrifying truth of our lives.

She wouldn't want me here.

But I need to be. I need to take care of the house, the last reminder of my childhood when my father was still around.

I need those last few memories of happiness.

I clutch onto them so closely that it hurts.

It hurts when I realize that I'll never get those times back. That no one will ever make me feel happy and loved like he did.

I'll never be happy again.

The flickering light of the sun streams through the window. It stings my eyes.

I open them and curl up into the bed. It feels too big without Prim. I haven't gotten used to being without her just yet. I don't think I ever will.

The sheets are soaked with sweat again, after another night of pure, disastrous nightmares. This time, I saw my father being burned alive. He was reaching out towards me, crying with pain. I felt it, I felt the flames scorching my skin like they were doing to him. I felt the excruciating pain.

My father was screaming at me. He said that I failed. That I wasn't able to protect his family. The guilt washed over me like a tidal wave in full force. He was right. He is right.

But I musn't have failed fully? Prim is alive. She lived to see her twelfth birthday. I reached my sixteenth.

However, it isn't enough.

It's never enough.

I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and stand up. I make the bed, and go over to the closet.

I've never been one for fashion, but I'm seeing Peeta today, and for some unexplainable reason, I want to look decent.

Something flutters.

In the end, I choose a dark green shirt and black pants with my hunting jacket. I leave my hair in its signature braid.

I take the pot out of its spot and rest it beside my bed.

The door creaks when I open it. It makes me cringe.

I step outside and tiptoe into the kitchen. Soft breathing fills the air.

I notice that the vomit beside my mother has been cleaned. And that a clean blue blanket has now been draped over her withering body.

I sigh.

I grab a thermos from the cupboard and return to my room. I pour the soup into the thermos for Prim and take one or two sips. I return the pot into the closet.

The door creaks again. I step outside.

My mother is sitting upright on the couch. A snarl is on her face.

"Have you no morals?" she rasps. "You woke me up."

I shake my head, "I didn't mean too."

She crosses her arms. And huffs her breath. "You don't mean a lot of things."

I roll my eyes. "I need to go."

"Oh really? And where exactly are you going?"

My hand hovers over the doorknob. I stop. "I'm going to the woods."

"So you haven't gotten it into your thick head yet?"

My jaw clenches. I turn around.

"Get what?" I fling my arms out in an exaggerated gesture.

"That you aren't going to get anything! It's useless!" she shrieks.

My temper rises and I stomp towards her. The couch creaks as she stands up to face me.

"So what? So what if it's useless? At least I can survive without selling myself out!"

"Oh Katniss," she shakes her head, "you won't this winter. There is only one choice if you really want to survive."

Her eyes light up like a lamp, glittering with mischief. My fists clench.

"You want to sell me out."

The look on her face answers everything.

She doesn't know. I haven't told her that I work for Haymitch.

"You're one big whore aren't you? You're nothing but that. It's all gotten into your head, it's brainwashed you. Now, you're convinced that it's the answer to everything," she stares at me. I challenge her back. "Well let me tell you something, I have gone my whole life believing that I was never the better person. But between you and me? I believe I am. So here's some advice, they're not going to want you when you're a pathetic old woman, and when that happens, I'm not going to help you."

And with that, I step outside.

The air is cold. Wind batters against my skin as I walk to the Hawthorne's. My breath escapes me in frosty bites. I resist taking a sip of the warm broth.

I knock on the door as I peer through the window. It has a fresh layer of frost and ice on it, I can't see inside.

The door opens, slightly rigid. Gale stands before me.

I haven't seen him in a while. But he looks drained. His clothes frame his body, hanging off his shoulders. He's become skinnier, but his muscular frame has allowed him to still look healthy.

But I know different. I know he's starving himself to feed his family.

Dark circles frame his grey eyes. They're sad, filled with the emotion of despair.

He sucks in a breath, "Catnip."

His voice is raspy, like he's being choked.

Suddenly, I feel guilty for not bringing some soup for the Hawthorne's. They've been nothing but good to Prim. I should tell Gale about my job, I should be sharing the money with him.

But he has too much pride.

"Gale…" I start.

"I'm fine. What are you doing here?"

"I…um…I brought something for Prim." I stutter.

He looks down at my hands and nods. He knows I brought food for her.

He turns away and calls for Prim. She runs up to me and envelops my body with hers.

"Katniss!" she cries.

I smile softly at her. "Hey Little Duck, I brought something for you."

"You did? What is it?"

I stick out my hand with the thermos and she eyes it.

"You got me water?" she inquires.

I shake my head. "No, I got you some stew from the Hob."

She takes it slowly from me, her eyes never leaving mine. I know she has questions.

Her fingers clasp around the thermos and she opens it.

"Katniss…" she starts, "how did you get this? Gale hasn't been able to get anything from the woods. He hasn't been able to trade. He's told me that he hasn't seen you there either. How…how?"

I crouch on the floor and place my hands on her shoulders. Her blue eyes rest on my grey.

"Haymitch. I work for Haymitch."

She tilts her head to the side in disbelief. "Mr. Abernathy?"

I nod. "Yes. Mr. Abernathy. I clean his house. He gives me five coins per day. He gave me ten yesterday."

The scared look in her eyes disappear. It's obvious that she was worried that someone paid for me at the brothel.

I pull her into my arms.

"It's fine Prim. I will never ever let them hurt me. Don't worry about me." I whisper into her hair.

She nods into my shoulder.

I let her go and stand back up. "Okay, be good okay? I'll visit you later if I can."

"Where are you going?"

I glance back behind me, at the trees bordering the District. "Just…somewhere."

Her eyebrows are raised up, but she shrugs and gives me another hug.

"Wherever you're going, be careful."

"I will."

She gives me a light peck on the cheek and shuffles away. Gale comes in the room again.

"Going so soon?" he asks.

I lean against the doorframe. It scrapes. "I have to be somewhere."

He mimics my position against the wall. "Like?"

"Somewhere."

"Where?"

"Somewhere."

He puts his hands up. "Okay, I respect your privacy."

"But you still want to know." I point out.

His face twists in amusement. "Of course."

I nod my head and turn around. The cold blisters through my skin.

"How'd you get it?"

I freeze. "I…Haymitch gave me a job."

I can practically see him rolling his eyes. "Abernathy? Really?"

"Yes!" I snap. "And he pays fairly."

"I believe you Catnip. But…just be careful around him. You don't know what he's capable of," he warns.

I scoff. "With all that's going on in my life right now, I think handling Haymitch would be cake-work."

Cake. Peeta.

I look up at the sky. It looks like it's an hour after dawn. The sky is streaked sunlight peering through rows upon rows of white clouds.

"I need to go Gale. I'm late."

He grabs my arm just before I race off. "Remember," he says, "you can tell me anything."

I place a hand over his own and pull him into a hug. "I know. I trust you with my life."

"Right back at'cha Catnip." He replies.

I walk away to the meadow.

Sheets of snow crackle underneath my boots as I walk up the small hill. Memories of the night Peeta and I had here flitter through my mind.

I see a blonde headed boy sitting on the ground facing the sunlight. His broad shadow casts over the meadow.

"I'm sorry I'm late." I apologize.

He turns around and smiles. He stands up and dusts himself off.

"It's okay," Peeta says. "I don't mind."

I nod. I gesture for him to follow me.

We trudge through the meadow until we reach the fence. Peeta eyes it wearily.

"Are you sure about this?" I ask.

He snaps out of his daze. He looks at me. "What? Yeah! Yeah I'm sure."

I blink. "Okay. Just do what I do."

I crouch on my knees and put my ear next to the fence to make sure it's not electrified. It's not.

I shimmy underneath the opening and crawl to the other side. The wind blows from the trees, pulling me into my domain.

"C'mon."

He swallows. "Are…are you sure I can fit?"

I snort. "If Gale can fit under there, I'm sure you can."

"Um…okay."

He kneels down and crawls on the ground. A barbed wire gets caught on his shirt but he manages to pull free.

When he stands up, he's beaming.

"I did it!"

I stifle a smile at his glee. "Yeah, you did. Come on, let's go." I wave a hand for him to follow me.

We leave the District behind us.

Today, we aren't prisoners of the Capitol. We are on unclaimed lands. The feeling has always been an adrenaline rush of emotions.

Peeta looks in awe around him – at the trees, the sky, the sound of the birds echoing through the woods. A smile graces his lips.

I've lead him to a familiar part of the forest, right by where Gale and I hunt for game. I'm used to navigating it during the winter.

Another twig snaps. I cringe once more.

Peeta is loud. His steps are heavy on the earth. Much unlike mine, graceful and silent from years of experience and practice.

But it's winter. And it doesn't matter that much.

It's mid-December. No animals come out during this time.

"Katniss?"

I stop.

"What?" I glance behind me.

"Can we stop here?" Peeta asks.

I look around me. I nod. "Okay."

We take a seat on a nearby log. He looks up at the sky.

"Does it always feel like this?" he asks.

I look at him. "Feel like what?"

He shuts his eyes and breathes. "Like…like you're free."

I fiddle my fingers. I look up at the sky. The wind is blowing softly.

"Yeah. Yeah I guess it does."

From the corner of my eye, I can see him nod his head. "I can see why you love it."

I stare at him. "It's not that hard to miss."

I stand up and dust the snow off my pants. "Come on then. I said I'd get you something for that bruise of yours."

He quickly places his hand over the bruise. Like he's trying to hide it. I resist the urge to take his hand and pull it away.

Instead, I settle for telling him. "Don't. Take your hand off. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

He takes his hand off and smiles sheepishly.

He follows me out of this region of the forest.

I point to a bush.

"That's it." I inform.

Peeta takes a couple of steps forward and looks at it. "What's it do?"

"I'm not sure what it's called. It only grows during the winter. But it helps with swelling."

I remember that whenever my father would come back from hunting during winter, he would always tell Prim and I to wrap up the leaves around the injured area and soak it in hot water. Being available during winter is fortunate, because most of my hunting accidents come from slipping on ice.

I kneel in front of him and pluck a couple of leaves. I hand it to him.

"Just wrap it around your cheek. Usually you soak it in hot water. But that'll be a bit hard for you. So just soak the leaves in hot water first before putting them on, okay?"

He nods his head. I turn away.

"I'm sure you're needed at the bakery." I say.

Peeta shakes his head. "No, it's my day off."

"Okay," I breathe.

Our conversation ends there.

The sun is high up in the sky. Snow is beginning to fall rapidly.

"Katniss? I think we should go." Peeta suggests.

I close my eyes and nod. The snow is falling faster now, it's getting harder to see.

"Keep close to me Peeta. Do not wander off on your own." I warn.

I squint my eyes. I can see he nods his head.

I take his hand in mine, and tug. I notice it's warm. A warm feeling spreads through my body. I try to ignore it.

I pull him through the woods carefully, manoeuvring around ice patches and fallen branches. I've let go of his hand by now, but I can still hear his loud footsteps.

"Are we almost there?" he asks.

I don't have time to respond before I find myself tumbling down a cliff.

So thereee is where this chapter ends :D Sorry I haven't updated for a long time, school just started and I was busy sorting out through my textbooks and new classes and the such. Thank you for being so patient :D I'll try to update as much as I can.

First week of high school was good! Went well. Now, I celebrated by writing and posting up a new chapter! (:

Thank you all so much for the reviews that you've given me. And thank you for reading. It means so much.

And reviews: motivate to update! :D I love you all! :3