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Chapter 10
Heart to Heart.
"She has a heart condition." Spoke a tired Shi. He had been working the night shift in the hospital, his scrubs rumpled and the bags under his eyes evident.
He stood in the room where Sakura now slept in, the cardiology ward of North Konoha Hospital. Mikoto, Sasuke, and Sasori sat around the unconscious woman.
She was hooked up to a heart monitor and an IV. A breathing mask settled over the lower half of her face. Her short locks fanned around her face. She seemed to be so at peace in that moment, but her pallor was pale beyond comprehension. Soft violet veins cracked her pale face.
Sasuke watched her chest rise and fall with each slow breath she took. It was well into early noon now. Often times there were moments a breath would not come, Sasuke's eyes would narrow as he'd reach for the nurse button but then Sakura would start to breath again.
Sasuke had been with Sakura throughout all the tests they had put her through. Sasori and his mother finally showed up sometime when they put the woman into a room.
Anger couldn't find a place in Sasuke's heart as he heard Shi speak about Sakura, all he could feel was guilt for not noticing sooner.
Sasuke looked up to Shi levelly, "How long has she had it."
Mikoto wrapped a soothing arm around Sasuke's shoulders as he sat in the chair closest to Sakura's bed. Sasori sat in the far right corner with his head in his hands.
"Well she became aware of her case about four years ago." Shi replied quietly.
"We were still in college." Sasuke noted as he looked at Sakura.
"Cardiomyopathy" Shi spoke, "That's what she has."
"What exactly is that." Mikoto spoke for the first time that morning.
"The walls of her heart are thin and weak." Sasori looked up at them, "It causes the heart to fail at times because of poor circulation."
The room went silent then, Sasuke sighed and stood up and scratched at the back of his head. He still wore his sweatpants and old shirt he had slept in that early evening.
He looked to Shi who held Sakura's file in his hands. It was the first time he had seen the man in person rather than in pictures. This was the man that Sakura had shacked up with for three years. The man she had said she loved.
What got to Sasuke the most was what was the allure of this man. Sure he was handsome, but what else, so what he was a doctor, these things never deterred Sakura's judgment. As far as he knew. The only thing that tied Sasuke and him together was Sakura.
"So she had a heart failure." Sasuke looked at similar dark eyes.
Shi sighed and nodded his head, "We've been managing her case with a trial drug which she had agreed to. The drug was supposed to thicken the walls of her heart and strengthen them too, in the hopes of lessening these attacks."
Shi opened up Sakura's case file and busied himself with notes scrabbled by himself and other doctors, "She didn't want a pace maker so we went with this option. It was the only noninvasive choice. The problem was the drug only thickened the walls but didn't strengthen them; rather, it almost hardened them. Virtually the heart could barely pump anything at this point. It's a surprise that she managed this for so long." Shi said almost fondly.
The slight lilt in Shi's voice made the anger bubbled up in Sasuke's chest finally spill over, "Aren't you supposed to make sure it never got to that point, isn't that your job as doctor?!"
Shi's eyes narrowed at Sasuke "Trust me I would have never let this proceed the way it has."
"Then why has it?" Sasuke said dangerously low.
Mikoto stood up to calm her son but Sasuke shook her off.
"She was your fucking wife and you didn't take care of her. Now she's like this, it's all your fault."
Shi stood quietly and stared at the ground letting Sasuke's words sink in, "Trust me there isn't a day I don't regret the way I did things, especially for her. So I'm trying my best now."
Sasuke gave a mirthless laugh, "I don't think your best will cut it anymore."
"Sasuke please." Sasori spoke quietly from near Sakura. He looked the most haggard out of all of them.
Sasuke dropped his previous attitude and returned to his seat next to Sakura, "We still need to tell Naruto." Sasuke said quietly eyeing his phone ringing silently the hundredth time that morning.
Shi looked down at his watch and then back at the three people around Sakura, "She's going in for an operation in two hours."
Mikoto looked up with worry.
"We're going to shave off the excess on the walls which will help them strengthen, and also put in a pacemaker."
"Will she be alright afterwards?" Sasuke stared at Sasori's hand that clenched one of Sakura's.
"The heart is a very tough thing. However, knowing her, I think she'll make a quick recovery." Shi assured as he excused himself from the room.
The three remaining adults simply stared at one another after Shi had left.
"It's hereditary." Sasori said quietly to Mikoto and Sasuke, "Her mother and my mother both had it. I guess I'm lucky."
"So all this fatigue and her appetite change, it was because of this?" Sasuke swallowed.
Sasori nodded, "I didn't know until she moved back. She left Konoha City to get treated up in Suna"
"But I thought she was working on the hospital in Suna that's why she moved there." Mikoto relied.
Sasori smiled, "Merely a convenient coincidence. She was being treated in the old hospital while she worked on the new one."
"Shi didn't mention it but she had an artery problem that caused the onset of the cardiomyopathy. She got an operation done there to put in a new valve. I didn't know." Sasori cried quietly.
Sasuke placed a comforting hand on Sasori's shoulders.
"She left Konoha City because she was afraid she was going to die." Sasori cried harder, "The doctor that handled her case told her that her heart was too weak to operate on. She decided to take the odds. Even when she did and she recovered this happens now."
"I was so wrapped up in my own life." Sasori shook his head.
"Go get some rest Sasori." Sasuke said quietly, "She'll be fine."
"I think we all could use some rest." Mikoto said tenderly as she coaxed both the men up from near the unconscious woman.
"Mom, I can't leave her." Sasuke looked to her, "Not like this."
Mikoto raised both her hands to her youngest son's face, "Darling."
Her thumbs brushed underneath his eyes, "I'll tell Naruto, but please get some rest my dear."
Sasuke took one of her hands and kissed the inside of her palm, "I will."
Sasori held out a small duffel bag out to Sasuke, "There's a common shower area down stairs for guests. If anything happens please call me." He said reluctantly, "I'll be back in a few hours I need to sort out a few things and I'll be back. Thank you Sasuke, for everything."
Sasuke nodded and followed the two out. When he saw them off at the lobby he went to the common showers to get washed up. The heat and the steam from his shower lifted his spirits slightly. When he finished getting dressed he made his way to the hospital's cafeteria. The idea of food did not seem to please him; instead he made his way towards the row of steaming coffee percolators and poured himself two cups of black coffee.
When he made it towards the cashier, Ino had been waiting there waiting for him in lavender scrubs and armed with her own cup of coffee. Her almost platinum locks piled neatly into a bun on the top of her head, and her eyes skillfully winged with black kohl. Her wedding ring hanging on a chain around her neck glimmered as she turned towards him.
"Kai can you put his coffee on my card too." Ino spoke to the cashier.
The cashier smiled and took the plastic card from Ino's rosy pink manicured fingers.
Sasuke mumbled a quiet "thank you" as he and the blonde woman slowly trailed their way towards Sakura's room.
Sasuke looked at Ino from the corner of his eye and caught himself from aweing at the amount of the composure the blonde carried, as if her friend were not hanging on a thread.
Ino looked up at Sasuke and gave a small smile as they filed into an empty elevator, "I'm glad you were there for her." She started, "I'm sorry I kept this away from you."
Sasuke bit his tongue and pushed the number "7" on the elevator's button panel with his elbow, "All within good reason right." He joked quietly as he turned his back to her.
Ino eyed the drying patch of water on his button down near his neck; she looked up and noticed some of his locks were damp.
Ino's small smile turned into a frown, "I regret it Sasuke. I really do. She did it to protect you, you know?"
Sasuke nodded, "What's done is done."
He turned back to Ino as more people loaded onto the elevator on the third floor. Ino did not continue their conversation until the made it to the seventh floor. Once they stepped out she continued, "When she found out about this whole mess, you were busy studying your ass off for the law school entrance exam."
Sasuke looked down at the blonde as he beckoned himself to remember a time not so long ago.
"Sakura was worried that if she told you, that you'd get sidetracked and she'd mess up your chances into getting in."
Sasuke scoffed but Ino shook her head, "You know it's true. Remember when her parents passed away? Your GPA dipped so much, if it wasn't for your recommendation letters and your volunteer hours you might have not gotten into Konoha University."
"But I still got in" Sasuke volleyed.
Ino rolled her eyes, "It was different this time. She felt that if she told you then it would be selfish of her to do so, and even if she told Naruto he would have gone and told you almost immediately. That's why I only knew. She did this for you."
Sasuke stopped walking and gave Ino a baffled expression, "How is this for me?"
Ino looked at the taller man square in the eyes her azure eyes unwavering, "She did not want to take away your future from you."
Sasuke took a moment to let the words sink in and began walking again side by side with the blonde.
"If she told you, you would have dropped everything in your life just for her sake. She didn't want that. For that reason she decided not to tell you, she was going to tell you after you got into law school. But things changed."
"She met Shi." Sasuke strained.
"Shi was a resident at the time working on her case. Despite having all of us Sakura felt very alone at that time because she couldn't tell anyone about this situation. Shi was a godsend to say the least." Ino's voice wavered, "Only thing is they were both stupid enough to think that it was love."
Tears streamed down Ino's face and she moved open the door to Sakura's room. But Sasuke stopped her, "What are you trying to say?" He said quietly his heart thumping in his ears anticipating Ino's next words.
She gave him a weak smile looking at his childish coal black eyes, "Can't you see? Your love for her was never one sided."
Ino took her free hand and squeezed his shoulder gently, "For once she wanted to be the one sacrificing for you. She's convinced herself that if she had gone and told you everything from day one, you wouldn't be doing as well as you are now. Thing is…the thing she was banking on was that you would have moved on by now and gone and married off."
A tear betrayed Sasuke's signature poker face and he turned away from a very shocked Ino, "Stupid woman." He said under his breath.
"Your stupid woman." Ino corrected as she opened the door to hear Naruto laughing and small voice speaking.
Her eyes widened as she crossed the threshold to see the scene before her she looked back at Sasuke who was still in the corridor. She pulled at his shirt around his forearm beckoning him to cross into the room, Sasuke's eye widened as he saw Sakura propped up on her bed and Naruto sitting near her with a box of chocolates that he was plowing through.
Sakura's attention strayed from Naruto to look at their new guests, and when her eyes clashed with familiar onyx eyes a small smile adorned her face and she stretched out her arms, "Sasuke come here." She said hoarsely.
Ino smiled as she watched Sasuke quickly walk over to Sakura, shoving the coffee cups into Naruto's hands before letting himself be wrapped in Sakura's arms.
Naruto bit his tongue from mocking his friend's out of character display of emotion, instead he stood up and walked out with a knowing Ino. Relief filled the room as Sakura smiled into Sasuke's locks and his ear lay carefully over her heart.
"You scared me shitless." Sasuke said quietly after a while.
"I heard." Sakura chuckled, tracing comforting circles through his hair, "You smell nice did you just take a shower."
Sasuke blushed slightly before realizing his proximity, pulling away and chocking out a "yes".
"Come back here." Sakura looked into his downcast face, "These sheets don't do shit and I'm freezing."
"Only for a little bit." Sasuke coughed into his hand.
Sakura gave a tired sigh and rolled her eyes, "Fine."
Sasuke stood up and moved the box of chocolates that Naruto had almost demolished before slipping under the sheets of Sakura's bed and it was Sakura's turn to blush, "Hey!"
Sasuke rolled his eyes at her state of undress, an ill fitting hospital gown that give any man an eyeful, Sasuke carefully looked at her face as he slid in next to her and wrapped the sheets tighter, "Nothing I haven't seen yet." He said coolly.
Sakura's eyes widened and she bit down on her lips, "You're lucky I'm hooked up to all these machines or else I would've clocked you real good in that annoying face of yours."
Sasuke rolled his eyes and sat shoulder to shoulder on his back with the woman, moments later after she had calmed down her head lay on his shoulder, "Did I scare you?"
He moved the arm that she was leaning on around her so he could distract himself with her hair. Twirling the soft tresses around his index finger.
The silence was deafening. Sakura closed her eyes, "I'm not going to apologize for not telling you."
"I don't expect you to." Sasuke matched Sakura's deadened tone.
"Are you mad at me?"
"A little bit." He spoke frankly.
"Was I selfish?" Sakura sat up from where she laid near Sasuke his fingers still tangled in her hair, he quickly untangled his fingers from her hair and moved to retract the hand but Sakura took his hand in both of hers. She gave him a resigned look, "It wasn't supposed to be like this." She squeezed his hands.
Sasuke looked up at her. The woman he had stupidly fallen in love with over and over again. He looked at each one of her facial features his eyes hovering on her own eyes the longest. Something clung to those emerald eyes, an emotion the Uchiha could not quite grasp.
His hand once again found its way into her hair, "Your hair, it's gotten longer."
"I should get Ino to cut it." Sakura grimaced.
"No I like it." Sasuke spoke before he could stop himself.
Sakura's eyes widened and her cheeks flushed a beautiful rose.
Sasuke got a hold of himself and all too quickly stood up from the bed and busied himself with the now cold cups of coffee.
Sakura moved back under the covers and lay back down with her back to Sasuke, "I'll grow it out then." She said quietly almost to herself, but Sasuke heard, and he looked back at her but he was met with her bare back.
He did not realize that the hospital gown had only covered the front of her body but left her back bare. A familiar tattoo stamped her small creamy back. A tattoo he too had on his own skin, a bundle of raspberry colored peonies.
A tattoo he, Naruto, and Sakura had gifted each other one thanksgiving during their freshman year of college.
His hand moved to the right side of his stomach where his own tattoo was underneath his shirt.
In his back pocket his phone rang the caller ID showed it was the firm he worked at and he sighed.
"I'll be back." He spoke to a quiet Sakura as he stepped out the hallway to take the call.
Moments later he returned to the room, Sakura still lay in the same position only with her eyes closed this time. Unsure if she was asleep or not Sasuke moved to grab his belongings and spoke to her as he did so, "I'm going to have to go in for work but I'll be back right after ok? You'll probably still be in for surgery, but-"
A lone sob stabbed at Sasuke's heart and he looked to find Sakura shaking.
He hated it when she cried. He walked around the bed and crouched down to look at her. Naruto walked in that moment immediately rushing over, "What did you do this time dumbass." Naruto nudged Sasuke, which only made Sakura cry more.
Naruto's face softened as he looked at Sakura's damp face. Sasuke stood up and looked away, "I'm going to go get some air." He managed as he fled outside the room.
Naruto sighed and sat the pinkette up and wrapped his arms around her, "What's up princess."
Sakura gripped at Naruto's shirt and she looked up at him, "I'm scared Naruto, I'm really scared." She hiccupped.
Naruto pulled her away and moved away the locks that stuck to her face, gently tucking them behind her ears. He took a few tissues from the tissue box beside her bed and held it to her nose, "Let 'er rip."
Sakura blew into the tissues as hard as she could, and instantly felt better. Sakura looked up at Naruto, "I don't want to die." She said shakily, "I don't want to lose you, I don't want to lose anyone. I don't…I don't want to lose Sasuke." Sakura confided.
A few threatening tears fell down her face.
It dawned on Naruto that it was Sakura who was probably taking it the hardest, this whole situation that is. Where he and most of his friends had just learned of this condition she had suffered with, she had known and dealt with it for years at this point.
"Hey hey hey." Naruto said carefully he kissed the crown of her head and smiled down at her, "Nobody's going anywhere, and you're not going anywhere either." He comforted.
Sakura relished in Naruto's warmth and pulled in closer. Naruto smiled and wrapped his arms tighter around and rocked her back and forth gently. Sakura seemed to calm down considerably, but Naruto kept up the small gesture. Sakura was thankful for that.
Naruto talked about little things that happened at the school he worked at. It helped to add some normalcy to the situation; her left ear was tickled by the sound of his voice as her ear lay on his chest.
"Thank you." Sakura mumbled into his now soaked chest.
Naruto gave her a chummy smile as she looked up at him through her long damp lashes.
He kissed the side of her face before he moved to fluff some pillows for her and lay her back down on the bed; Sakura seemed to be on high alert at that moment. It finally dawned on Naruto that Sakura did not want to be alone, almost in a childlike way. And he stopped his mind from curiously spiraling down at the thought of her being all alone in Suna suffering this similar fate. At that moment Naruto could understand the resentment Sasuke held for Shi.
"Sakura I'm not going anywhere." Naruto looked at her, "I'm just going to sit on the chair right here, you need to rest up."
"You promise?" Sakura strained.
"I promise." Naruto said as he squeezed her hand.
She let out what seemed like a sigh of relief, and she looked away from Naruto and at the ceiling tiles, counting them like sheep.
Naruto pulled out some papers to grade.
The anesthesiologist walked in with Sasuke who looked like he had run a marathon, which resulted in the first laugh from Sakura since her arrival in the hospital.
Sasuke's dress shirt had been wrinkled beyond its years and his cheeks seemed to be flushed from running. A brown bag hung one of his hands and he walked forward as the anesthesiologist waited on a nurse to bring the anesthesia by the door.
"Hey" he huffed.
"Hey" Sakura smiled.
"I hope I'm not too late." Sasuke muttered as he eyed the anesthesiologist.
Sakura shook her head and patted the empty spot on her bed, "Sit"
Sasuke looked at Naruto who muttered a brief "hello" before going back to his grading. Sasuke moved to sit cross-legged at the foot of her bed.
Like a preschooler at show and tell, Sasuke seemed to be flustered and anxious to show Sakura what was in the bag.
"I thought it would be easier to pass the time with this." Sasuke started as he stuck one of his hands into the brown bag and pulled out a copy of Murakami's "Kafka by the Shore."
Sakura's eye twinkled with joy as she wiped at some tears and nodded at him, "You remembered."
"Of course I remembered that was the only thing you read back in the day. You left two copies at my house. I ran over to get one." Sasuke said a-matter-of-factly.
Naruto smiled to himself as he moved to pick up another stack of papers from his bag.
"Ugh on with it then." Sakura shook her head with a stupid grin on her face her hand moved to rub at her eyes, "Start in the middle. I don't like the beginning."
Sasuke looked at Sakura as she got herself comfortable in the bed and allowed herself to close her eyes. In this moment he found himself trying to catch his breath as he reveled at her eerie beauty. She did look like a sleeping beauty in that moment.
Color had somewhat been able to seep back into her face and her eyebrows were not furrowed any longer but relaxed, a small smile seemed to also find its place on her face.
He looked down and attempted to find the middle of the book and started, his mellow voice captivating the whole rooms attention as he read onwards, even Naruto stopped grading to listen in.
About five pages in the nurse, which happened to be Ino, finally came in with the anesthesia, she handed it to the doctor and walked over to Sakura and sat near her. Even though Sakura's were still closed she instinctively held out one of her hands and Ino took it with both her own.
Sakura kept her eyes closed as the doctor poked and prodded her with needles and fiddle with her IV, her eyes occasionally squeezing tight from the pain, but she kept her attention on Sasuke's voice. After a while she was fitted with a mask and laughing gas filled her lungs and Sasuke's voice seemed to get slower and more disjointed, "Co-could you…repeat that." She said slowly into the mask.
Sasuke looked up quickly hearing her voice for the first time since he started reading, to be met with a different Sakura, a tired and almost unconscious Sakura. He gulped and bit his lip before he hoarsely let out, "sure."
"Thank you Sasuke." She said in a small voice.
He stared at her a moment too long that Ino and Naruto noticed his state of mind and both placed soothing hands on each of his shoulders.
He kept reading then. Shi walked in with two more nurses to wheel out a now unconscious Sakura, Sasuke stepped off the bed to allow them to wheel her out. Instinctively before they make out with her through the door Sasuke handed Naruto the book and gave Sakura a small peck on her still rosy cheeks. Shi didn't dare to look away at the small gesture, instead a bit of him longed to be in Sasuke's place.
Sasuke stood back up and his thumb quickly brushed away a tear in her lashes. He looked up at Shi, "Take good care of her."
Shi nodded and pushed Sakura out the door with another nurse.
Sasuke tried to keep himself together as he pulled his arms dangerously tight around his frame. Naruto put away all his belongings into his bag and held Sasuke's own things in one of his hands, "She's in good hands Sasuke." Naruto all but whispered, "Come on I'll drive you home."
Sasuke didn't answer or talk the rest of that he just blindly followed Naruto's lead and even when he got home when his mother had a meal laid out for him he made his way to the bathroom and ran a scorching bath.
After the water got cold and his skin became like wrinkled leather he stepped out and got changed and went to his bedroom.
He found himself continuing the book he had been reading to Sakura. Only after finally finishing the book did he finally allow himself to sleep.
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"If you remember me, then I don't care if everyone else forgets."
― Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore
Murakami is actually my favorite author after Albert Camus.
It's been a long time my dears, I apologize life has been very hectic and crazy.
My vacation starts in three days hopefully I will then have time to finally finish this little story.
I hope you liked the chapter and it was up to par with your expectations.
I love you all and hope life is treating you well.
Until Next Time.
Much Love,
OXZA