Star Trek TNG: Hell Hath No Fury
Chapter 9: Dogs of War
Captain's Log, Supplemental: The Enterprise-B is, once again, in another universe. The year is 2183, and the galaxy is burning. And it seems we have to save it. Here's praying the Borg don't show up like they did last time.
The Enterprise-B and her task force, which now included the Romulan vessels, approached the Mass Relay.
"I do not like that thing, Boss."
Sonic nodded.
It seemed Luna liked giving people nicknames.
As he was her Captain, 'Boss' was appropriate.
At ops, Shadow worked on a way to follow the Normandy.
"I think I can remodulate our warp field so we can use the damned thing."
Tails walked over from the engineering station.
"NO ONE fucks with my engines unless I give the OK!"
Tails glared at the data.
"We'll explode if we do that!"
"The warp core is made of dilithium-coated synthetic neutronium, Tails! We will not explode!"
Sonic smacked his forehead.
"We're being hailed by the Normandy.
"Put them up, audio only."
Sheppard's voice came over the com.
"What's the hold up?"
"We're trying to get our technology to work with this. Give us a few minutes."
There was a stupefying silence on the other side.
Sonic sighed.
This was NOT what he signed up for.
"What?"
"Normandy to Enterprise: you guys don't have an eezo core?"
"A WHAT?"
"Eezo. Better known as Element Zero?"
"We don't have anything like that. We're trying to make an adhoc warp field so we can use the damned thing. Stand by."
The channel closed.
"Tails?"
The fox looked up.
"It'll work if I make a few modifications to it."
Sonic sighed.
The only way that was happening was giving Tails a LOT of time: a day or so.
"This is going to take a while. Free use of the holodecks when you're off duty."
"Hell yeah!"
SSV Normandy
"Let's head to the Citadel, Joker. We'll head back after-"
Then a contact appeared on sensors.
"Fuck! It's a Reaper!"
"Enterprise, we've got a Reaper!"
"A what?"
A moment passed.
Sonic noticed the ship in that time.
"Oh. Knuckles, what the fuck are that thing's weapons and defensive capabilities?"
Knuckles chuckled. "Slim to none against the Enterprise-B, Boss."
Sheppard gaped. These people thought a REAPER was a JOKE?
Then the Reaper-a clone of Sovereign-fired on the Enterprise-B.
Sheppard watched as the beam bounced of the shields.
"Shields are at 97%!"
"Then why the FUCK were we shaking?"
"Most of the beam was kinetic force! Our shields kept out the most harmful shit, like the plasma! That and our IDF never works properly!"
If Sheppard heard that right, their shields were barely dented!
The Enterprise turned, and beams of red-orange bolted from the warp nacelles, hitting and damaging the Reaper.
"This is impossible!"
"Ya think, Sheppard? Reapers can't be damaged just like-"
Then a red ball launched from the Enterprise, hit the Reaper and destroyed it.
Two kilometers of titanium and other metals and substances were fought everywhere.
"One torpedo? Really?"
Sheppard and Joker did the only thing they could when they saw the impossible happen.
They fainted on the spot.
25 hours later
Tails had finally got the warp field to work with the Mass Relays.
The tiny runabouts had docked with the Hawkeye, as their warp fields were too small to effect the Relay.
The issue Tails had was the Romulans.
He had sent them the data, and requested the warp field geometry for their ships. He didn't get it. "Engineering to Bridge."
"Go ahead."
"Warp fields for the Federation ships are good, but the Romulans are being-"
"Don't worry about the Romulans, Scotty. They'll work on it."
Tails blushed at the nickname.
"Take us to the Citadel, Tails."
"Right." Tails modified the warp field so that they would pop up in front of the Citadel.
The Enterprise turned, and got caught by the relay's Mass Effect fields.
Then the famous ship, third to bear the name, accelerated beyond transwarp speeds.
And the Excelsior-Class ship was shaking like a pea in a pod.
"TAILS! FIX THAT FUCKING IDF NOW!"
"Working on it, Boss!"
"Luna, your nickname for me is infecting the crew!"
"Sorry, Boss!"
"AAAARRGGHHHH!"
Horsehead Nebula
The Illusive Man (called TIM for easier writing purposes, but read as The Illusive Man) was sitting in his chair, smoking.
Why, no one knew, but to be frank, it was annoying and unhealthy.
And soon, that cigarette would be his last.
He never noticed the ungodly quiet assassin walked up behind him and stick a gun into the back of his head until said gun was jammed into the back of his head.
"Well, this is bad."
TIM stood up, gun still on the back of his head.
"What are you doing here?" "Taking control of Cerberus."
The voice was a woman's, but not of any race that he was familiar with, including his own.
"Oh? And how are you going to do that?"
"Simple. Kill you."
She fired, and TIM was vaporized by the weapon he would never identify, but that we all know as a Klingon disruptor.
The woman was Lien-Da, leader of the Dark Legion.
"It's done, Doctor."
"Good work. I'll transfer control of Cerberus to us in a moment..."
Lien-Da sat in the chair and found TIM's box of smokes.
She vaporized it.
She hated tobacco.
"Done. Lien-Da, we now control Cerberus."
"How?"
"Most of the foot soldiers has been implanted with control chips. That gives us 80% of the organization. I'll split it in half with you."
"And the rest?"
"Indoctrinated by the Reapers, but loyal to Cerberus. Thanks to our implants, any indoctrination attempts will fail instantly."
Lien-Da only used the implants because she was a member of the Dark Legion.
Personally, she wanted them out, but that wasn't happening.
Future generations wouldn't need them, though.
But if they prevented her from getting brainwashed, that was fine by her!
The Citadel
The Enterprise didn't drop out of warp, like the Normandy, but rather tumbled toward the 50 kilometer long station built by the Reapers.
"TAILS!"
"WORKING ON IT, BOSS!"
"AARRRGGHHH!"
While the other 5 ships dropped out like nothing was wrong, the Enterprise was spinning toward the Citadel.
It was the Inertial Dampening Field.
It wasn't working.
It hadn't worked since Sonic took command of the Enterprise.
And it was pissing all of them off.
The Enterprise took 15 minutes to right itself, and it slowly made its' way to the station.
On board, a very pissed off Sonic was VERY close to destroying the bridge.
He was so pissed, his quills turned RED.
The crew backed away from their captain.
"When we get back, the first thing those IDIOTS at Kyoto are going to do is FIX THE FUCKING IDF!"
While both Pinkertons were insulted by the comment, it had a spark of truth to it.
Twice the Enterprise-B had visited Kyoto and twice they failed to fix the IDF.
This wasn't annoying; it was pathetic.
The 435 meter long Federation ship attached itself onto the docking port.
"Enterprise, you are docked. Starboard airlock is hard-sealed."
Sonic sighed.
"Do you guys have any experience with Inertial Dampening Fields? Ours is on the fritz. AGAIN."
"We'll send over an engineering team, Captain."
Sonic walked over to the turbolift.
"Deck 10, saucer section starboard airlock."
"Have fun!"
Docking bay D-25
When the Captain stepped out of the airlock, he was surrounded by reporters.
LOTS of them.
'When I get my hands on you, Sheppard, I'll KILL YOU!'
Sonic hated reporters.
He hated them on Mobius, he hated them in Federation space, and he hated them here.
They weren't asking questions like 'what species are you' and 'what system are you from', but rather questions about the Enterprise-B.
Sonic pulled out his phaser and opened fire at the crowd.
Thankfully, it was on stun.
"Fuck. Off."
The reporters ran off, with one of them getting stunned by the phaser blast.
Sonic pulled out his communicator.
"Luna, locate Sheppard and beam me over to her location."
"Good idea: scare the locals."
"Fear is good for people, Luna. Besides, I want to beat the SHIT out of Sheppard for this!"
Council chambers
"They destroyed a Reaper?"
"With one ship?"
"The Enterprise is at least 50 more powerful then even the Destiny Ascension, Councilors. And-"
A column of light appeared from out of nowhere, and rematerialized Sonic in front of her.
"Next time, Commander, no reporters! I'll beat the shit out of you later!" All four Councilors looked at the Hedgehog.
"What?"
"How did you do that?"
"If you want an explanation into transporter technology, I am not the one you should be asking. My chief engineer, on the other hand..."
Sonic pulled out his communicator.
"TAILS!"
"What is it, Boss? I'm helping those Citadel engineers fix the IDF."
"Don't call me that, and once you're done, you have a meeting with the Council."
"Got it, Boss-I mean, Captain!"
Sonic closed the communicator and screamed.
"Now that that is over with, why did you people ask for me?"
"We need your help. Your ship can destroy the Reapers."
"The Enterprise is one ship, and it isn't even operational!"
Then another asari walked in.
"I'm sorry, but we've got something you all need to see."
Sonic walked over, followed by Sheppard and the Councilors.
Sonic identified the image in seconds: it was a badly damaged Miranda-Class starship.
Then he noticed the registry.
NCC-1864.
"Fuck me."
"Captain?"
"That's the Reliant! That ship was hijacked in 2286 by Khan Noonian Singh and it was destroyed by the Genesis Device!"
They looked at him with and odd look.
"What?"
"You said 2286."
"I'm from an alternate universe, Councilor, and that ship has been gone for 81 years!"
"The asari have had that ship for 500 years and we couldn't do a thing with it!"
Sonic chuckled.
"Then give me a few weeks. My crew will make the Reapers wish they'd never been created."
Udina scoffed.
"What makes you think-"
"Didn't notice that one of my ships looks like the Reliant? The Miranda was developed from the Constitution-Class, the same class as the Hawkeye. We BUILT that thing."
The looks of shock on their faces were amusing, to say the least.
Excelsior-Class USS Enterprise NCC-1701-B
"KKKHHHAAAANNN!" (1)
"TAILS! SHUT UP!" (2)
Tails had decided to pull Kirk quotes from '86 out of his ass.
"Still, the IDF generators are still intact after 500 years. Better then the shity ones we're using now. But they aren't rated for a ship the size of the B."
"Then rip the IDF generators out of the Hawkeye and put them on the B, and replace the Hawkeye's with the ones from the Reliant!"
"It'll take time to refit the ones on the Reliant and the Hawkeye for use on the other ships."
"And I am not willing to stay here while the capital of the Federation, our universe or not, is burning!"
Sonic was antsy.
He was not used to being in a different universe and not having the firepower of the Enterprise to give him some comfort.
"Colonel, I'm hijacking your ship."
"What?"
Sonic walked toward the docking port for the Amestris.
"You can't do that!"
"Actually, he can. Starfleet regulation 51J: as commander of the most powerful ship in the area, Sonic is now Acting Commodore. He can do whatever he wants!" (3)
The Amestris took off.
"You bastard, get back here with my ship!"
"Let him go, Colonel. He'll be back."
System J25
Most of the Cerberus scientists were assimilated into Eggman's collective by now, and their knowledge was being added to the already gigantic archives he had.
He was sharing this information freely with the Dark Legion, and he was upgrading their ships with new cloaking technology and weapons.
However, Eggman knew that the Borg would discover the rift in space/time and come to assimilate the new universe.
However, it wasn't the Borg that worried him: it was Sonic and those Starfleet assholes!
Sol System
The Amestris dropped out of warp just inside the Terran home system.
It took over a week to get the ship to there from the Citadel.
"Three ships, Reaper destroyers, dead ahead!"
"Red Alert! All hands to battle stations!"
The three Reapers didn't understand that they were going to die in a few minutes.
"Lock and fire!"
Pulse phaser bursts hit the first Reaper, ripping the titanium-armored giant to pieces.
This information was filtered back to Harbinger, but the second Reaper was dead by the time the signal reached Earth.
The third was destroyed seconds later.
The reason for the ease of destruction?
Mass Effect fields couldn't block particle beam fire.
Lasers and missiles hit them and weaken them, but that was because they were pure light or matter.
Photon torpedoes could overload the shields, but you would need to set them to 25 isotons-the maximum yield-into order to get through.
It would destroy the Reaper, but it was a waste of torpedoes. (AN: The Collector Particle Beam in ME2 confirms this, as whenever I'm hit with the damn thing, my shields fail!)
The Defiant-Class ship glided into the Sol System with little resistance.
The Reapers were pulling everything they had back to Sol to deal with the newcomer.
"I hope Tails gets finished with that retrofit soon. I do not like the Defiant-Class bridge!"
Citadel
The Romulans were getting ready to use the Mass Relays to head to Earth.
The Rae'Cailem'Tet, 6 more D'deridex-Class ships, a quartet of Shrike-Class scout/destroyers, a trio of Griffin-Class cruisers, and five Norexan-Class battleships, plus the repaired and semi-refit Reliant, were on their way to Earth.
The Enterprise-B, with the Hawkeye's IDF generators, was not ready yet.
The Hawkeye had taken the ones from the Enterprise-B, which seemed to work perfectly.
It was clear that the guys at Kyoto fucked up on which IDF generators went to which ship.
The old joke 'THAT one goes THERE, THIS one goes THERE' came to mind.
Still, the ship was halfway ready for the shit Sonic was going to be putting her through.
And as Sonic had hijacked the Amestris, Roy Mustang was the acting Captain of the Enterprise-B, as Sonic was beaming over the moment they got to Earth.
"I hate this bridge."
"Sonic's a fan of open bridges, Colonel. The Defiant-Class is tiny and doesn't have the ability to swap modules like the rest of the fleet." (4)
"Get us to the Relay, and make sure the Romulans don't shoot us be mistake!"
"Entering the Relay in 5!"
The Enterprise-B was caught in the Mass Effect field, and was launched toward Earth.
The new systems that the Alliance installed (kinetic barriers, QE communications equipment, an Element Zero core, and a secondary IDF system in case the one from the Hawkeye failed) were working perfectly.
The Excelsior-Class ship was launched toward Earth.
Sector 001, Home System of the UFP (alternate universe)
"FUCK!"
The Amestris dodged plasma beams like a madman built robots. (Across the galaxy, Eggman sneezed)
Another Sovereign-type Reaper died thanks to the pulse phasers of the Defiant-Class warship.
But the sky was getting crowded quickly: Harbinger was pissed.
Then green disruptor fire hit a number of Reapers after them. The Rae'Cailem'Tet decloaked and drew some of the fire away from the Defiant-Class ship.
"About time!"
The Enterprise-B appeared and destroyed another Reaper destroyer.
"Sonic, get off my ship!"
"Gladly! Beam me back, Luna!"
"Got it Boss!"
Sonic's scream was heard by the Reapers.
In the vacuum of space.
And it wasn't over the radio.
Thankfully, Sonic swapped places with Mustang thanks to changing the shield frequencies so they could beam between the two ships.
Sonic was sitting in his chair on the Enterprise-B within 5 seconds.
"Please tell me the IDF is working!"
The Enterprise-B pulled off an HET and destroyed another Reaper.
Sonic didn't feel a thing except for a light sway.
"It works!"
The Enterprise dove into the fire, killing Reaper after Reaper.
Seconds later, the Normandy finally arrived with a large fleet of Alliance warships.
The words in any language couldn't describe the sight.
Joker tried.
"It's a fucking rapefest!"
Think about it: 30 ships destroying a fleet of thousands.
You try describing it.
Finally, they found the biggest ship in the Reaper fleet: Harbinger.
It decided to engage the Enterprise in combat.
But the Excelsior-Class ship was far too powerful to fall to the Reaper.
Hell, Jonathan Archer's NX-01 could take Harbinger in a fair fight!
It fired the plasma beams used by all Reapers, but the Enterprise simply shook it off. She had taken a few hits, but not enough to down her shields by a lot: "Shields at 89%!"
"Lock plasma torpedoes onto Harbinger! FIRE!"
The newest additions to the B's arsenal were two plasma torpedo launchers mounted under the saucer, near the sensor dome.
Directly in front of the dome was a quantum torpedo launcher, but that wasn't going to be used.
Under the nacelles were phaser arrays, due to an issue Sonic had: phaser coverage.
The phaser strips under the nacelles gave more firepower to the underside of the ship.
Phaser arrays mounted on the sides of the nacelles gave the ship total coverage from all angles.
But Sonic wanted to test the plasma launchers.
"FIRE!" (5)
Six torpedoes hit Harbinger, and the old Reaper started to explode.
From the Normandy's angle, the Enterprise rammed into the Reaper, and exploded.
"Fuck! Enterprise, do you read?"
Then, out of the explosion, came the Excelsior-Class ship that just saved the galaxy.
"Sorry about that, Sheppard, but we couldn't turn away in time. We'll mop up the rest of the bastards."
"In space, you guys kill, but the surface..."
"We're launching our Special Surprises!"
Escort shuttle Tychus Findley, (6) en route to Earth's surface
The Special Surprise was the newest shuttle designed in concert with the ASDB and the Pinkertons: the Venture-Class scout shuttle.
It was smaller then the Danube, but a lot faster, more maneuverable and packed a heavier punch. They also had more range, and being developed from the Defiant-Class, they were built to blow shit up. Luna was piloting one of the six prototypes on board the Enterprise. (the Venture herself was on board the Hawkeye)
Her job was to kill anything that wasn't human. As very few, if any, aliens lived on Earth in this universe, unlike hers, that was easy.
She decided to beam up the human lifesigns up to the ships in orbit: that way, she could destroy everything in sight and not worry about hitting friendlies.
The Hawkes hated fratricide, like most members of the Pinkerton family-the Clines didn't count, as they handled politics, which was a cutthroat affair at the best of times-so she thanked the many inventors of the transporter.
"Alright, people, carpet bomb the fuckers!"
And like all Pinkertons, she had a tendency to curse.
Phasers and proton bombs leveled the Reaper forces, clearing the planet of hostiles.
It would take some time, but they didn't have anything else to do, did they?
Three days later
Every Reaper had been destroyed by the Starfleet/Romulan task force.
The Reapers did manage to damage the Hawkeye, but it took two Sovereign-types, several destroyers and-Alright, let's just not go there and say it took a lot to damage the Constitution-Class ship, although, to be fair to the Reapers, if the original Enterprise or the A had engaged them, Kirk would be nursing his ship back to health.
The 24th Century was a bitch.
Most of the galaxy owed them a debt, including the Geth, who were offered a chance to join the Federation.
The machines accepted the offer.
Another race that would be joining them would be the Krogan, but they were going to see what the Klingons had to offer.
In fact, the Salarians, mostly Doctor Mordin Solus, offered to help the Krogan with the genophage, as the Krogan wouldn't be a problem for their galaxy-or universe, for that matter-anymore.
And they had just found out that the rift was stable: in fact, the first message to come through was from Admiral Pinkerton.
And he was pissed. I will not repeat the message, but needless to say he was not happy with the rift over Aegis VII.
In fact, he was pissed off enough to go to the other Earth.
This was a major mistake, and one of the few (read four) he had ever made, as Eggman and the Dark Legion (they wouldn't discover this until much, MUCH later) were able to escape to their universe, but something far worse was coming.
Somewhere near Aegis VII
"A rift in the space/time continuum has been detected. Sector 4861, Grid 782. Identity of planet: Aegis VII. Alter course of Cube 574 to investigate."
The minds of thousands of raped and enslaved races turned a large vessel, 5 kilometers in height and depth, and cube-shaped,toward the rift.
They entered and lost contact with their fellows, but no matter: they knew their duty.
They jumped into transwarp.
OH, I am a BAD MAN.
They are back, and I hate to say it, but the Mass Effect guys are going to need to start running.
(1) Wrath of Khan, and my favorite Kirk line.
(2) From the Sonic the Hedgehog OVA, although it's SHUT UP, TAILS!
(3) Voyager episode Equinox stated that the captain of a vessel with superior tactical firepower was in command of a group of ships. They never stated the number in the show.
(4) The Sao Paulo (or second Defiant) had the same bridge as the original Defiant, which is what I'm basing this option on. The DS9 set guys were lazy with only changing the plaque, but as it was only a few episodes away from the end, I'll forgive them.
(5) You can tell I like Wrath of Khan.
(6) StarCraft II. I haven't written any of my StarCraft stuff in a while, and I'll need to get working on it.
Next time on Hell Hath No Fury: "We are the Borg."
Ja Ne!