Author's Note: Once again, I have no idea where this is going. But I liked the direction I was heading in the last chapter. Hopefully, I'll find the right path for this one as well! Enjoy!

X.

Rainbow

Van still lied on the ground underneath me. But instead of being the one taken cared of, he became the one providing the comfort. He hadn't said anything since I'd spoken his twin brother's name, but I knew there was a mouthful of questions he wanted to ask. I envied how much patience Van possessed, for he was aware that it wasn't the appropriate time to break the silence, but he knew that there was plenty of time to ask when I was ready.

I didn't say much either, for I didn't have to hear Van's answer to know that he was indeed Folken's twin brother. I was in more disbelief that I hadn't noticed that fact than the actual fact itself. How did I not see it?

They certainly weren't identical, but they shared the same fierce eyes and strong build. They shared a distinctive deepness in their voices, though Van's lacked Folken's mature refinement. They shared a knack for being the best at what they did; Van was at the top of our class both academically and athletically, while Folken became the ultimate child and was therefore adopted by Dornkirk himself. And they were both wise; always seeing every strength and weakness in a person, and being able to show how one strength could not exist without a weakness to complement it. They were so alike, and yet so different at the same time. But without a doubt, they were twins, they were brothers. How was I supposed to feel about that?

As soon as I had said Folken's name, my eyes begun to well up with tears, tears that were only meant for him, tears that I had fought to control until the day that Folken could wipe them away himself. Instead, it was his brother that held me so gently in his arms and stroked my face so softly with his hands as to dry my tears. I was not used to being so close to another person and now I knew why: it was intoxicating.

The feeling of Van's warm breath against my skin gave me goose bumps. The other hand that ran up and down my back to comfort me. Rising and falling with his chest when he breathed. His smooth skin against mine. We fitted like a perfect mould; for I knew where every curve and crevice lied, and I was almost afraid to break away from him. I had wrapped my arms tightly around him, holding him close to me as though he were the most precious person to me. Being in this position was so heart wrenching for me, because I knew that Van was not the most precious person to me, and yet, I couldn't let go of him.

Could it be because he's Folken's twin brother?

"When my parents died, I learned what it really meant to be alone in this world," I began with a weak voice. "I had no other family. I had no friends. I had no one." I felt Van's hold tighten around me. "When I came to Zaibach, no one wanted to have anything to do with me. All the children there had already learned that it was every man for himself. Eventually, we all knew there would be an end for most of us, so the desire for attachment was more cruel than fulfilling." Van shifted his head until his cheek rested on my forehead. "I couldn't do anything right. Whether it be lessons or training, I was far behind everyone else. I always felt like everyone was ahead of me, and I was desperately sprinting to catch up." Van's hand curled over mine, our fingers intertwined.

"And then, I met him. He was... perfect, in every aspect. All the kids wanted to be like him, for there was nothing more for us to aspire to." Though I felt his muscles tense up, Van didn't move anymore. "He became the family, the friend that I didn't have. When we had the time to, he'd tutor me and train with me, until I was just as smart and strong as the next best kid in our class, because no one was able to compete with Folken." I slid our hands up from Van's waist and rested them on his chest below my chin. "I think that's why I admired him so much. He was untouchable. Though I had caught up with the level of the other kids, the distance between Folken and I kept growing further and further apart. I always wondered if I could ever catch up."

I unlocked and locked my fingers around Van's. My hand was so small next to his. "I always thought it was because I wasn't good enough. But then I realized it wasn't me. It was us. Our way of thinking was becoming so different that we weren't able to understand each other the way we were able to when we were younger." I squeezed Van's hand. "Though he couldn't understand me any longer, it was his understanding nature that he chose to side with Dornkirk and fight along side him. It was because of his own wisdom that I lost him. It was because of his ideas that there is no right and wrong, only reason, that he has left me."

I felt a fresh tear roll down my face. "And what makes me so angry, is that I can't blame Dornkirk for it! Folken chose to go, with his own free will. And his reasons, though they may seem illogical to us, I can't say they are wrong either." I felt Van's muscles relax as he freed his hand from mine to wipe my face. "When I couldn't sleep at night, Folken would keep me company. We'd spend hours talking about everything. There wasn't much to talk about, for our lives revolved around Zaibach, so he'd always share his ideas about Dornkirk with me. I may not agree with Folken's ideas, but the way he spoke about Dornkirk, I could almost see the humanity in him." I clenched my hand into a fist and beat Van's chest. "That man... that monster... how could there be any humanity left in him! After all he's done to the children! After everything he's taken away from me! Why!"

"Hitomi!" Van said as he grabbed my hand. Apparently, I was beating his chest without realizing it.

"I'm sorry, Van," I apologized softly, unclenching my fist.

"Folken..." Van began. "He must've been very important to you."

"He was," I said. "He... still is."

"I see."

And then, there was silence. All I could hear was Van's heart beating and the rain drops falling outside the cave's opening.

And then, I moved. I shifted my body up so my face could level with Van's. I engulfed his head in my arms and stared at him intensely.

"Hi...tomi," he breathed out with wide eyes.

"Would you think I'm crazy..." I started. "If I said... I envy you?" Van gave me a skeptical look. "Because no matter what I do, I could never be as close to Folken as you. No one can take that right from you. You and you alone shared a time and experience beyond what any of us could have with him."

"You mean..." Van paused. Then, he let out a small, kind laugh. "Maybe you are a little crazy."

I gave him a small smile. I leaned closer to him, resting my head next to his. "What is it like... to share a mother? To begin as one life... and turn into two? To spend the beginning of your life... with him beside you?"

"Hitomi," Van looked at me. "We're brothers. But you speak of our creation as though we were lovers."

"That's not what I meant..." my voice drifted into a whisper.

I pressed my body against his, as though we weren't close enough. My eyes were stinging again. Tears bit them as I tried to fight them back.

"I may be his twin, but I'm not him," Van told me. "You can lean on me as much as you want, but it won't feel the same as if you were with him."

"I know."

Van sighed. "So what are you doing, Hitomi?"

"...I know."

Van nodded in understanding. "Then, if it hurts so much to be without him, come to me. I'll hold you, just like this. And I'll protect you in his place."

I looked at him with a smile that looked too happy and too painful at the same time. "I'm sorry, Van."

"It's ok, Hitomi," Van said, running his hand down my long hair. "It's ok to be selfish sometimes. You're always thinking about everyone else's happiness; you should think about yours, too. What I can give you may be artificial, but I'll do what I can if it can help you find your happiness."

"Van..." I almost couldn't speak with all the emotions rushing through me at once. "Thank you, Van."

The storm was beginning to leave us. The rain drops fell at greater intervals, and the cave was becoming more and more quieter as the silence between us lingered in the air. Slowly, but surely, I felt something inside me changing. Who had I been a day ago? Who had I become now? Did this day, this night, affect me so? Either way, my mission still did not change. But what did change, was that I could allow myself to indulge in selfishness from time to time.

"About earlier..." Van suddenly spoke up. "You asked me that, if you were the girl I was looking for, would I come to you..."

I blushed and looked away, embarrassed that I had even asked such a question. "But, I said I was just kidding-

"If," Van cut me off. "In the end, if Folken was no longer the man you loved, would you come to me?"

I blinked, first in confusion, then in amusement. "Touché, Van Fanel."

He shrugged. "I learn from the best."

I always thought Folken had been my one and only friend. Who would've thought that his twin brother would become another? Just yesterday, I had loathed him for an unjustifiable reason. And now, I couldn't even imagine him being away from my side.

I guess it was true, that you can't get the rainbow without the rain.